One of my most widely shared blog posts was entitled, “Putting Distraction In Its Place.” If you have had a chance to read it you may remember the line, “My driving habits will affect my children's driving habits. Let it be the good ones, not the bad ones.”
A few weeks have passed since then and my readers have kindly shared their inspiring stories of the big and little ways they are going Hands Free. That got me thinking about what might be on the flip side of that coin of distraction. If my negative distracted behaviors influence the choices my children make, then what about my positive Hands Free behaviors?
It was around the time that I found something my daughter had taken great care in doing. When I saw it, I knew. I knew.
By engaging in Hands Free behaviors myself, my children were reaping the benefits. I had evidence to prove it. More specifically, I had Hands Free Evidence to prove it.
And this is what it looks like…
My family recently had the opportunity to sponsor a child for $40 a month through Compassion International. My husband, Scott, walked my seven-year-old daughter to the table at the back of our church to look at the pictures of the children waiting to be sponsored.
Later he described how my daughter looked carefully at each and every photo, then selected ‘Priscilla.’ He was quite surprised that of all the adorable, bright smiling faces our daughter chose the forlorn looking girl.
When he asked my daughter why she picked Priscilla, this is what my daughter said, “She is the only one who is not smiling, and I want to give her a reason to smile.”
I was amazed and slightly embarrassed. Because the truth was that I am not sure I would have made the same choice. Something tells me that I would have looked for the cutest, most bubbly looking child in the bunch.
My daughter gave me a Hands Free realization right then and there. Going Hands Free means making choices that are not always the convenient, most pleasant, ones. Going Hands Free often translates to “effort” instead of “easy.”
When we arrived home, I read the list of “restricted” items that we were forbidden to send to Priscilla. It said that gifts typically do not reach their destination, so only “paper gifts” may be sent.
To me, that did not leave a whole lot of choices. I expected that my daughter would write a nice note and fold it neatly into the envelope.
But going Hands Free means diverting attention away from the things that easily catch our attention, (Internet, email, social networking sites, and text messaging), and instead place focus on activities that may require more effort, but eventually create an impression, an impact, or a memory.
It appeared that my daughter already knew this. She did not simply write a short note introducing herself to Priscilla. What she did instead meant she did not play; she did not watch television; she did not snack or goof around. For two hours she remained upstairs thinking, working, and creating something that would bring joy to a face that only spoke of pain.
I found the Compassion International envelope sitting on the counter a few days later. My daughter had sealed it shut without showing me the contents.
While I was fairly certain she did not put in a restricted item, she is only seven years old, so I decided to check.
When I pulled out all the items that she had packed so lovingly into the small envelope I found myself both laughing and crying at the depths of her creative and compassionate seven-year-old heart.
My daughter had complied with the restrictions, yet unbelievably managed to provide gifts that would touch Priscilla’s heart and, more importantly, bring a smile.
This is what Hands Free Evidence looks like:
As I stared in wonder at the contents of this envelope, a profound realization occurred to me:
Hands Free Evidence does not remain when we are in a hurry.
Hands Free Evidence does not remain when we are distracted.
Hands Free Evidence does not remain when the focus is on our own self and our own needs.
Hands Free Evidence is left behind only when take the time to slow down, be in the moment, and think outside of ourselves.
Going Hands Free is not always easy, but the results are a sight to behold.
But this story does not end here. You see, as you are also becoming Hands Free, your children are, too. You have shown me the evidence, the unmistakable Hands Free Evidence.
I now share with you three examples of Hands Free Evidence created by children whose parents have embraced a Hands Free life.
One Hands Free Mom shared these profound words with me about going Hands Free with her children,“When I give them more of the positive attention they and I deserve, I feel the energy shift in the room.”
Here is a photo of the Hands Free evidence that her daughter left on the driveway. It reads: Joke Show 20 cents only. The money goes to the animal shelters and charity.
Another one of my readers is a father who likens going Hands Free to “looking in the mirror and deciding whether or not to change something you don’t like seeing in yourself.”
This same father shared with me recently how bothered he has become when he sees parents glued to their hand-held communication devices. I swear he had tears in his eyes when he described how a little girl in his son’s martial arts class struggled with her kneepads as her father sat oblivious to her while playing on his iPhone.
In photo below, the son of this Hands Free Dad holds an exquisite winter sculpture, Hands Free Evidence that he astutely discovered on a cold January morning.
And finally, this Hands Free reader, along with her Hands Free husband, discovered that family vacations are more memorable and more meaningful when they are devoid of all communication devices. While cleaning her daughter’s room one evening, she found this letter. It translates to read: The only thing that I wish is a simple God, that I wish. The only thing that makes the flowers bloom is a simple God. That's what I think.
Take a look back at these beautiful photos and then commit these valuable truths to your heart and mind:
Hands Free Evidence does not remain when we are in a hurry.
Hands Free Evidence does not remain when we are distracted.
Hands Free Evidence does not remain when the focus is on our own self and our own needs.
Hands Free Evidence is left behind only when take the time to slow down, be in the moment, and think outside of ourselves.
Going Hands Free is not always easy, but the results are a sight to behold.
My daughter knew this when she selected Priscilla from an array of much happier prospects. My daughter knew this when she poured time, effort, and love into creating her care package. Was my daughter’s knowledge a result of me living Hands Free or was she living this way all along and I was just too “busy” to see it?
You know what? It really doesn’t matter. Because the beauty of going Hands Free is that it is not about what happened yesterday; it is about today. And what really matters is this:
My children, at age seven and four, are cultivating what it means to be Hands Free; they are creating extraordinary evidence of what it means to be Hands Free; and they are loving and embracing what it means to be Hands Free.
That, in itself, is enough to put a permanent Hands Free smile on the face of distraction.
Have you ever seen any Hands Free Evidence created by your children or a loved one? If so, what was it? And if you haven’t seen any, maybe now you know it’s there. By going Hands Free yourself, you might finally see it.