*Name has been changed
I was two years shy of becoming a mother when I learned my greatest lesson about parenting. This information was not gleaned from a New York Times bestseller, a renowned pediatrician, or an experienced parent. It came from a 10-year-old boy born to a drug-addicted mother, with an Individualized Education Plan thicker than an encyclopedia—a boy with permanent scars along the side of his left arm from a beating with an extension cord when he was three.
Kyle* taught me the one and only thing I really needed to know about loving a child through the challenges of life.
This is my story …
It had been a difficult move. I left my family and friends and the beloved mid-western state where I’d lived most of my life. My new home was thousands of miles away from anything I knew. It was hot—all the time. There were no seasons and teaching jobs were hard to come by. Having seven years experience as a behavior specialist, I was up for a challenge. I would accept any job if it meant I could do what I was born to do—teach.
I accepted a teaching position in a classroom for children with an array of educational diagnoses. They were students with severe learning and behavioral difficulties who’d been shuffled from school to school. So far, no program in the district was able to meet their challenging needs.
The first few months of school were difficult. It was not unusual for me to cry as I made my 45-minute commute to the inner city. It required a deep breath to even open the classroom door, but I came back every day praying this would be the day—a breakthrough to one broken soul.
On this particular morning, I was excited. The other lead teacher and I had spent weeks teaching the children appropriate behavior for public outings. We would be going putt-putting and out to lunch. Miraculously, most of the children in class earned this privilege—only a few had not. Alternative arrangements were made for those students while we took the field trip.
We had an extensive plan in place to make the departure as smooth as possible. But due to the explosive behavior of many of the students, even the best laid plans could quickly turn sour.
Kyle was one of the students who had not earned the field trip, and he was determined to make that disappointment be known.
In the corridor between classrooms, he began screaming, cursing, spitting, and swinging at anything within striking distance. Once his outburst subsided, he did what he’d done at all his other schools, at home, even once at a juvenile detention center when he was angry—he ran.
The crowd of onlookers that congregated during the spectacle watched in disbelief as Kyle ran straight into the heavy morning traffic in front of the school.
I heard someone shout, “Call the police.”
Based on the information in Kyle’s file, I knew the officers would locate him and place him on a 5150 hold for a psychiatric evaluation.
But I could not just stand there. So I ran after him.
Kyle was at least a foot taller than me. And he was fast. His older brothers were track stars at the nearby high school. But I had worn running shoes for the field trip, and I could run long distances without tiring. I would at least be able to keep in him my sight and know he was alive.
With the agility of a professional athlete, Kyle dodged the moving vehicles in his path. After several blocks of running directly into on-coming traffic, he slowed his pace. Although it was still morning, the tropical sun was bearing down on the black tarmac baking anyone crazy enough to be running full speed on it.
Kyle took a sharp left and began walking through a dilapidated strip mall. Standing next to a trash compactor, he bent over with his hands on his knees. He was heaving to catch his breath. That is when he saw me. I must have looked ridiculous—the front of my lightweight blouse soaked with sweat, my once-styled hair now plastered to the side of my beet-red face. He stood up abruptly like a frightened animal that thought it was alone suddenly discovering he’d been spotted.
But it was not a look of fear.
I saw his body relax. He did not attempt to run again. Kyle stood and watched me approach. My exhaustion caused me to slow to a walk.
Kyle remained still.
I had no idea what I was going to say or what I was going to do, but I kept walking closer.
We locked eyes, and I willed every ounce of compassion and understanding in my heart toward his own.
He opened his mouth to speak when a police car pulled up, abruptly filling the space between Kyle and me. The principal of the school and an officer got out. They spoke calmly to Kyle who went willingly into the back of the vehicle. I did not come close enough to hear their words, but I didn’t take my eyes off Kyle’s face. His eyes never left mine … even as they drove away.
It was days before Kyle would be allowed to return to school. I shared my disappointment regarding the turn of events with Kyle’s speech therapist who was familiar with Kyle’s past history and family situation.
She placed her hand on my shoulder and said, “No one ever ran after him before, Rachel. No one. They just let him go.”
But I couldn’t help but feel that I had failed him … that I should have done more or said more … that I should have fixed the situation, or better yet, prevented the situation.
Kyle eventually came back to school. I quickly noticed that when he had a choice of which teacher to work with or which teacher to accompany him to special classes, he chose me. As weeks passed, he was glued to my side, complying with instructions, attempting to do his work, and once in awhile even smiling. For a child with severe attachment issues, it was quite amazing that he was developing a bond with me.
One day on the way to art class, Kyle unexpectedly grasped my hand. It was unusual for a boy his age and size to hold his teacher’s hand, but I knew I must act like it was the most normal thing in the world.
And then he leaned in and quietly said something I will never forget.
“I love you, Miss Stafford,” he whispered. And then, “I never told anyone that before.”
Part of me wanted to ask, “Why me?”
But instead I simply relished the moment—an unimaginable breakthrough from the child whose file bore the words: “Unable to express love or maintain a loving relationship with another human being.”
Besides, I knew the turning point. Things changed the day he ran, and I ran after him—even though I didn’t have the right words … even though I wasn’t able to save him from the mess he was in.
It was the day I didn’t throw my hands up in the air deciding he was too fast … a waste of time and effort … a lost cause.
It was the day my mere presence was enough to make a profound difference.
Ten years have passed since I’ve seen Kyle. I no longer live in the same state that I did back then. But I often think of him. When I am out running … when I am to the point where my legs are tired and aching … I think of him.
And I think of him when those really hard parenting dilemmas come my way—problems derived from inside and outside of the home—issues that make me want to beat my head against the wall or lower it in despair. I think of Kyle in those moments when I don’t know what to do or what to say when I look into my children’s troubled eyes.
That is when I see Kyle’s face and remember I don’t always have to have the answer. Because sometimes there is no clear-cut answer.
And I remember I don’t always have to “fix” their troubled hearts. Because there will be times when I can’t.
I think of Kyle and remember the power of presence. Because it’s possible to say, “I won’t let you go through this alone,” without muttering a single word.
Thank you, Kyle, for revealing the key to loving a child through the challenges of life.
Sometimes our mere presence is enough.
Sometimes it is exactly what is needed to change a dismal situation into one of hope.
**********************************************
Here in the U.S., many students are beginning a new school year. With that, social, academic, and emotional issues are bound to arise at any age. My hope is that we take some pressure off ourselves and realize we don’t always have to “fix it” or find a solution, but instead just be there for our children with love in our eyes.
How do you love someone through the challenges of life? Thank you for sharing your thoughts, support, experiences, and perspective. As The Hands Free Revolution community, there is so much we can learn from each other.
The Loving a Child Through the Challenges of Life by Hands Free Mama, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
What a heart-swelling story. Thank you.
As I coach or help out at school and even with my own boys, one of the most telling things I find that kids do, sometimes very covertly, is lean against me. I always feel their trust, their comfort, their love in that quiet, simple gesture.
As always, thank you for a well-written, tear-inducing, thought-producing post. Knowing that people like you are in this world makes this whole seemingly messed up place much better.
That is so touching, Bill. As a former teacher, I can remember how special it was when fathers came into volunteer at school. How wonderful that you are there as a source of strength and guidance when a child needs someone to “lean” on.
Thank you for also for your very meaningful comment. You are king of the “keeper” comments that I go back and read again on days when my inner critic tries to talk me out of this difficult process of becoming a published author. THANK YOU.
You are such a beautiful, giving person, Rachel. This story brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you for what you do… and for sharing it with us… God bless you today and always. I’m so very happy that boy had you in his life, even for a short time.
Thank you for the uplifting words, Kris. I would do anything to know how “Kyle” is doing these days. I still remember that smile. Thank you for taking a moment to comment.
Amazing story- thank you for sharing.
I feel this is the way we’re failing the present generation of “problem” children. Last generation was put into orphanages, abused, reduced to crumbs by the very people who were supposed to care for them. These days it’s the legal ways. We as teachers in the U.K. have to follow a very strict protocol even with very small children so we can “protect” ourselves from abuse claims. But many of these children need a hug and our presence and we can no longer offer them that. How do we love someone through life’s challenges? As you say, many times by simply being there when no-one else wants to take the risk…
Thank you for sharing your insights and thoughts, Oana. I celebrate your wise words: “How do we love someone through life’s challenges? As you say, many times by simply being there when no one else wants to take the risk…” Exactly! Sometimes it does require going out on a limb … showing up when no one else does … just letting a person know he or she is WORTH the wait or the extra effort. Thank you for expanding on my message today. I appreciate your wisdom.
I used to do pet therapy with my dog, and we would visit kids in a residential “juvenile hall” type of place. These kids had no where to go except this “home” or juvenile hall. This was their last chance. My dog and I would visit with them, and I will never forget when one of the counselors told me one day that the kids look forward to me and my dog coming to visit. Why? Because the counselors were not allowed to hug these kids, for fear of legal repercussions. Yet, this group needed hugs more than anything else. And my dog offered them that. My big. loveable dog was something that they could hug, really hug hard, and it did make a difference. I will never forget that experience, and I take it with me into parenting my own 2 young boys now. I can’t always fix their troubles, but I can always offer them a hug.
Jen, thank you for sharing this beautiful story that illustrates the power of presence in lives that are in need of love and hope. What a very special dog and a very special owner. Your boys are blessed.
What a beautiful story. I often find that the times I’m scrambling around the most to find the perfect words to say and perfect actions to take, a simple gesture like this one goes farther than any solution I’m straining with to come up on my own.
And it works the other way around too. When I look back on some of my darkest moments, I think about the people who were brave enough to simply stand, or run, beside me. Some of them were teachers, some of them were friends. But all of them were helping me to make my path a little easier. Their simple presence, in that moment, was the perfect way to show me they cared. And I’ll never forget them.
Oh yes! Wonderful point, Elizabeth. When we are on the receiving end of someone who wants to “be there” with us through our challenge, it can truly make ALL the difference. We don’t forget those people, do we? What a lovely thought. Thank you for taking a moment to comment!
Thank you for this life lesson. What an incredibly touching story. I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face and I finished reading the post five minutes ago. Elizabeth’s comment was a good reminder that even adults need this type of silent presence sometimes. A good friend of mine delivered twins prematurely and they were both placed in NICUs at two different hospitals 30 minutes apart from each other. She was avoiding everyone because she knew she couldn’t hold it together. On day three of trying to reach her I decided I was too worried to stay away. I walked into her hospital room and immediately crawled into bed with her. We didn’t say a word. We just sat there crying together for a long time and before I knew it she was laughing about the fact that I was now in her hospital bed in my work clothes and high heels. Sometimes we have no idea what to say but that doesn’t mean we cant send a powerful message.
Wow, Anne. You made me cry and laugh all in one post. This is absolutely beautiful! In fact, I was so moved, I shared your comment on “The Hands Free Revolution” page. I thought perhaps there was someone out there that wanted to help a friend going through a tough time, but didn’t know how. Your story is SO touching and so inspiring. I know it helped someone out there tonight. THANK YOU!
Such a powerful story, and it really took me back to my days of teaching Head Start. I would often cry on my way home, wishing I could do more. I think of one boy in particular that I wish I could have saved from his circumstances.
There is a beautiful book called “The Invitation”. In it she says “I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it”. It takes a very strong person to be able to do that – to sit silently with pain without trying to fix it with words. I’m sure “Kyle” never forgot you.
Oh wow. Your beautiful thoughts and quote are so touching, Jen. I just love this: “I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it”.
I will remember those powerful words. I had not heard of the book “The Invitation.” I will definitely look for it when I go to the library this weekend.
I think when we meet a special child who is in desperate need of love, attention, or guidance, we naturally want to “save” him/her from such a painful existence. When a child like that comes into my life — even if only for one year — I try to build him up as much as I can in that time. I truly believe that if that child can look back and say, “She believed in me,” that it might just be enough for him to believe to believe in himself. I have been lucky enough to hear from a student that I taught 15 years ago. He recently thanked me for “believing” in him when not many thought he could live a productive life. He is now in college and writing a book. He is my proof that one person CAN make a difference.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, Jen. I always find them very meaningful.
Thank you for your story.
Beautiful post, simply beautiful!!! Thank you so very much for sharing, and inspiring! I taught in a tough school many years ago. I had one student – always in trouble, but oh, she was soo smart! One night after school (the kids stayed with me after school if they didn’t have their work done) we had just finished reading her history assignment and of course she aced the quiz. I looked her in the eyes and I said “Melanie” if you were my daughter, every night when you came home I’d make sure you did your homework. You have such a smart mind! She stared at me with utter wonder in her eyes, not about the part of her having a smart mind, but the part about the parent making sure her homework was done. So simple, so easy. But something she had never known in her short life. I will never forget the look of astonishment on her precious face.
Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing! It helped me this morning as I was struggling with one of my triplets who is having a hard adjustment to the routine of Kindergarten. Presence can be a comfort and can sometimes be enough when words fail or something is beyond your control. I am trying to learn that.
Thank you, Windsor. How meaningful to know this post had divine timing in your life. I love the notion you mentioned that presence can be enough when the circumstances are beyond our control. Thank you for pointing that out. So many times life challenges are out of our control, but knowing we can control our choice to be present gives me comfort.
Oh, how I love this website! It truly lifts my spirits and makes me want to be a better mother, wife, person. I only just found you a few short months ago but you have truly changed my life and the way I parent. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have now gone “hands free” all weekend long (as well as many other times throughout the day). You have helped me see that I was missing my children’s childhood. For that I will be forever grateful. I may have to work and therefore I cannot always be hands free. But I have gone hands free in so many ways I wasn’t before. I now never look at my phone while in the car. (That was quite an adjustment let me tell you.) Now when my children say “mom”, I stop and look at them and listen to what they are saying. Huge step! I didn’t realize how I ignored them so before. It breaks my heart to think of all the moments I missed. But as I cannot go back, I live for the moments of the future that I will NOT miss. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Allison, this makes me incredibly happy! I appreciate you describing the changes you have made in your life to be “Hands Free.” This is exactly what I love about this life practice … it does not have to be perfect … it does not have to be all the time … small changes = big impact. And if we hold tightly to distraction one day, it doesn’t mean we can’t be more “Hands Free” the next. I love that you have decided not to look back at past mistakes, but look TODAY and the beautiful moments that are now within grasp! Thank you so much for letting me know. This means everything to me.
Thank you for yet another touching story. I’ve been following your posts for several months now, but this is my first time commenting. Its been on my mind for a few days now – and this post seems to follow the same thread, so here goes:
) I’ve been blessed because I took the opportunity to make my child feel safe, secure and loved – when she was just too tired to cope. A thousand thanks to you, Mama Stafford!
I want to thank you for following your heart and creating this blog. I know there are many, many others that also benefit from your words and experiences, but I’d like to thank you for how you’ve helped me personally become a better mama. There are many things that I’ve done better in the last few months that I directly attribute to your posts, but this one example was so clearly a gift from you that I have to share it.
I’ve got 2 daughters – 6 and 3. Last Sunday, when my 3-year old was overwhelmingly overtired, I was able to give her grace and love, instead of anger and harsh words. It was bed time and she was crying hysterically – throwing a fit. Normally, this would have been an exhausting ordeal that would I would have let ruin my night and steal the earlier joy in the day. However, because of the subtle shift in my thinking – that I’ve been blessed with as a result of reading your blog – I was able to find blessings at every turn.
Blessing #1: I was able to see this as her reaction to being overtired. In the past, I would likely have written it off as a 3-year old being a brat. (How sad that I would think of my own child as a brat to begin with – but its true. You also help me be more honest….Thank you.)
Blessing #2: I was able to remain calm and patient. I was able to realize that she was not GIVING me a hard time… She was HAVING a hard time. What a HUGE change in perspective that was! In the past, I would have likely raised my voice and told her to be quiet or knock it off or something of that nature. (Again, sad, but true.)
Blessing #3: I was given an insight on how to handle this situation. The messages your posts express mixed with other wise words I’ve heard over the years melded into a calm thought: “Why don’t you hum a lullaby and just sit next to her, Mary?”
Blessing #4: I decided to ACT on that thought. So many times I’ve had a “God Breeze” that I just let float right on by. This time I didn’t let that happen. Sure I had dishes to do, laundry to fold, lunches to pack, relaxing to do, etc., etc., but this time I chose my child instead. I chose to make a better decision…this time…in this moment. I was able to let the “stuff” go, in order to grasp what really mattered in that moment – my child. So, without saying a word, I sat on the floor by her toddler bed, gently brushed the hair out of her face and hummed a lullaby – while she screamed and cried and thrashed around. I kept humming and stroking her head. Soon the tears slowed down and the crying became quieter. The kicking and thrashing stopped. She started rubbing her eyes. I continued stroking her hair and humming. The crying became whimpers, the tears stopped and I continued my loving touch and gentle lullaby….all the while thanking God for bringing me to your blog. Within a couple minutes, my little angel was fast asleep. I took a moment to admire the gift God has blessed me with, kissed her forehead and left the room to let her rest.
What a different story this is from our “norm!” In the past, there would have been loud voices, harsh words and still nothing on my “to-do” list would have been done. I would have been too mad, too emotionally drained and too fed-up to get anything productive done. I would have stomped off to bed and then raked myself over the coals for behaving so poorly. Instead of that all-to-familiar story line, I was able to act in a way I can feel good about. I have you to thank for that. Thank you for following the calling God has placed on your heart into this life-work. I am proof that lives are changing for the better – because of you. Thank you.
P.S. The next day, my little girl approached me and said, “Mama? Last day…you sang to me and I sleeped.” They DO remember what we say and what we do, but most importantly, they remember how we make them feel. (Sorry, Maya Angelou – I believe they remember it all!
Mary, your story came at the right moment for me today. I won’t bore you with the details, but I am making some tough decisions in regards to my blog and my publishing journey. Just know that your words provided divine inspiration and set me in the direction that was had been unclear to me lately. I am grateful you took the time to share this powerful story. I am truly honored to have played a small part in this beautiful connection between a mother and her child.
thank you for your words, it has made me cry but it touches my heart so deeply. i have 4 y/o who is very handful and overactive child, and must say if not for Rachel and Hand Free Mom my last few weeks would be as your before… thank you
This reminded me of my amazing Mum who when I was about 10 and having regular nightmares and afraid to be on my own in a room, she would lie next to me as I fell asleep. She did this every night for months, and now at 30 and with a 9 month old daughter of my own, I am still so grateful to her.
Rachel, thank you so much for this blog. I’m just at the beginning of this journey of motherhood but I have already found it to be so encouraging, rewarding, challenging. God is using it to prepare me for the now and for the years ahead.
Beautiful story about not giving up. Thank you for sharing it.
Once again, you touched me with your words. Your words ring so true not just for children but for all of us. I know that I have been loved through some really big challanges in my life and I don’t forget these acts of love or take them for granted.
At present, I am loving my 2 grandchildren through their challanges in life by raising them as my own. Their mom, my stepdaughter, left them after the youngest who just turned 6 was born. Her brother is just 14 months older than her. Both of them have different fathers who are not involved with them. Their mom comes to visit from out of state a couple times a year. In the early years, it was very difficult as the eldest had a lot of behavior issues and the youngest was extremely colic for her first year. When we started out on this journey, it started as us helping her out and considered it babysitting even though they were with us 99% of the time. Eventually she moved out of state and eventually we had to take legal custody of them which emptied our savings account. They are now with us permanately and we are raising them as our own.
She has caused a lot of confusion, turmoil and hurt in their lives. Through every step of it my resolve was just to love them through it. Nights of walking the hall and rocking in the dark with a screaming baby and during the day dealing with a little boy that threw constant tantrums, made himself throw up and was developly delayed was at times more than my heart could take. Yet through it all I believed in the power of love to heal and would not give up. The eldest has brown skin and we live in a predominately white rural communtiy and now that he has been in school he has had to deal with bullying. So loving him through those hurts and helping him to learn about forgiveness has been a struggle yet watching him triump and be the super sweet 7 year old boy that he is makes my heart burst with pride.
Both of them have come so far in their journey over the last 6 years. They are happy healthy little’s that have so much love for everyone. We still have set backs after every visit from their birth mommy but they are confident in the love we have for them. I am sure we have many bumps and mountains ahead to conquer with them but I know love is a powerful thing and it will see them through! Sorry for such a long comment!
Lori, you are one amazing woman. You have brought me to tears with the sacrifice given and the unconditional love you have provided your grandchildren. What an incredible investment you have made in two precious lives. They sound like very special little people who are already leaving a beautiful imprint on this world. Their triumphs are your triumphs and yes, love will prevail through the other times. May God bless you each and every day. Thank you for opening your arms and your heart. You are my hero.
Lori – I can relate to your story. My husband and I are virtually raising our 7-yr-old granddaughter. It is challenging, heart-breaking, wonderful, an honor and exhausting, all at the same time. I am just glad we can be there for her and we do the best we can. I’m disappointed when I fall short, but I get back up, apologize and start over. She’s been through more in her short life than I have in my entire life! Rachel’s blog (and God’s word) helps tremendously to keep my priorities straight! God bless you for caring for your grandchildren. You are making such a difference in their lives!
Thanks, Rach. Made me cry.
Thank you, my beloved supporter and friend. Thank you for believing in my ability to write a story before I believed in myself.
I so needed to read this story today! Thank you for sharing!!
I am an LPC (clinical therapist) who deals primarily with children in foster care. I am finding more and more that the main thing these kids need from me is to just know that I am there. I can’t fix everything, I can’t make it all better, but I am always there. So many days it just doesn’t feel like enough, and I often need reminders that, to them, it is everything! Thank you for reminding me.
Dear Rachel, I’ve been reading your site for awhile and decided it was time for me to thank you for your heart-words. I am a mom of two beautiful boys aged two and two months old. One year ago I left my hometown, my family, and my extended family to go to a state and job that felt ever so far away from anything good. Without giving to much backstory I just want to thank you for writing your heart, it is a beautiful thing and has encouraged, challenged, and blessed me in my journey of motherhood. Having left all of my supports in a different state, it was God’s perfect timing when I stumbled across this site. Thanks for your honesty, and not only writing about the shoulds but for just doing it. You touch many lives and I’m grateful to be one of them.
such a beautiful heart touching story. I myself feel unable to say much when confronted with someone’s pain. But I’ve learned with experience that just a hand held at the right moment can be life altering! am glad I found you in the blogging world. I am sure I will gain a lot from your words
HELLOOO Rachel, I haven’t visited your blog in a long time but you have been in my thoughts. I work as a school nurse so I was off for the summer and did some traveling and hands free grand mothering and nurturing to our two granddaughters who stayed with us for the whole summer. Now that I am back at school, I needed to hear your story to remind me to always reach out to children with an open heart, hands and ears. You are an earth angel in our midst who brings us divine message.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this. I had quite the similar experience when I was student teaching…I took off after this 10 year old “runner” as well. It was frowned upon, but I was scared and wanted to help. It was frowned upon for me to do so, but I did catch her at the front door, thank goodness. I often wonder what happened to her. Again, thank you for sharing your experience
Hi Rachel,
I have never commented on a blog before but feel compelled to do so… I have been reading your blog for a while now and find it to be the most refreshing and inspirational reading I have come across in a long while! You are quite the inspiration to me and obviously so many others as well! I have also started sharing your posts with my husband who is a special education teacher here in WI. This specific post resonated with both of us for different reasons. My husband is an amazing teacher (I am biased, I know) but really he goes far beyond what the average teacher does to reach out and connect with his high school students. We also have a 5 yr. old on the autism spectrum. (we have 5 yr. old twins) I took a leave from my teaching position to study and learn everything I could learn about autism to best meet our childs needs. We are happy to say that three yrs. after his diagnosis, he has progressed at a rate that we have been told hasn’t been seen very often. He is a happy, healthy and loved more than life little guy. (so is his twin sister!) This post showcased that we never give up on our kids or someone elses child for that matter, children are our future and they deserve to feel loved, respected and cherished. Thank you for your posts, I look forward to seeing each one in my inbox. If you have a chance to check out my husbands new blog about children/family life/having a child with autism. He would be honored. johnwhiteautism.blogspot.com
Miriah
Thank you for your kind words, Miriah! And thank you for letting me know about your beautiful family. I just read John’s post about shooting hoops with your son. I would have to agree with you–he IS an amazing teacher. And the love he has for your family comes through clearly in that beautiful post. I am honored that such a remarkable family finds value in my messages. That means a great deal to me. Thank you for letting me know about your husband’s blog. It was inspiring to read that entry today.
Rachel
Beautiful story! When I was a teacher, I tried to find something to love about each child. It wasn’t easy, but once I found it, it made teaching that child easier.
The thing that upsets me most about politician’s talk about education reform is that they don’t understand where some children are coming from. They don’t understand that a few hours a day in a classroom doesn’t outweigh every challenge that child has to face outside the school day.
You did a wonderful thing for that boy. I hope he remembers it to this day.
Hi Rachel,
What synchrony to come across this story and blog today. I tossed and turned again last night as I worried about my son once again and his many difficulties in school. It all started 4 years ago when he began in a new school for Jr. High. It’s only gotten more difficult.
We’ve not only dealt with failing grades, total loss of interest, but the problems have progressed to juvenile delinquency. We have tried many things to get him on track, and some days I am swallowed up by worries and fear… One thing I always promised my son is that I would NEVER give up on him. But last night my fear got the best of me and I thought to myself, I don’t have the answers anymore, I don’t know what to do, if he gets in any more serious trouble, then I will not come to his rescue, I will not support him… I was turning to tough love. But then your story showed up today in my email, sent by DailyGood.org and I realized, well, I may not always have the answers, and that’s ok. But, I was doing something right all along by letting him know I will never give up on him, and I am here when he decides he wants my help.
Thank YOU!
kara
Kara, I am so touched to know this message brought you a little peace, a little hope today. What a GIFT you have given your son by not giving up on him. It may be very difficult right now but for your son to be able to know there is this one constant, your love, that he can count on no matter what is powerful. I truly hope that a reprieve from the difficulties is near. I will be keeping you and your son close in thought and heart. Thank you for sharing this with me today.
Thank you Rachel for the quick response. I feel like Universe was listening last night. Receiving your story today was certainly a good sign, and answer to my worries. I feel confident at least that a difference can be made and improvement is possible and likely. I am smiling where there were tears!
Thank you again, I will definitely be tuning into your blog, so glad I found it, I can definitely relate to you philosophy and way of life as you describe in your right hand column.
kara
Thank you, Kara! It was an unexpected and wonderful gift to receive the request from DailyGood.org to publish my post. And then when I received your message right away, I knew why. The whole reason I began this sharing my Hands Free journey was to touch one life. And when I sit down to write each day, I just hope for one person to be lifted. Thank you for being that person. In a way, this was exactly what I needed today. So you have, in turn, inspired me. What a gift. Thank you, friend. So happy to have you along on this journey.
WOW! Thanks for sharing that Rachel, makes this whole message all that more important, and timely.
I don’t believe in coincidences and when you are living a hands free life, you pay attention to all the little clues God gives you!
Thanks!
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This really touched me! You showed Kyle you cared and sometimes that can make such a difference to child. Thanks you for sharing!
I just read this again and it made me cry. Thank God for you and others who make a difference in the life of a child who feels so little hope in his everyday life.
xo
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Wow what an amazing and impactful story, thanks for sharing. It is my first time here but I’m really glad to meet you. Having read your about me page, I really get where you are coming from.
Mich x
What a truly beautiful story. I am sure he would be so happy to know he made as much an impact on your life as you did his.