“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” ~Benjamin Franklin
The other night, my 6-year-old daughter asked to see a picture of herself in her crib. We opened iPhoto and started our search in 2006, the year of her birth. However, with the click of one video, the desire to see the crib was quickly forgotten; my six and nine-year-old children couldn’t get enough of themselves as babies.
As my daughters delighted in their adorable expressions and babyish voices, my eyes kept filling with tears—from both amusement and nostalgia. Yet, there was also a tinge of discomfort while watching these clips—these 30-second snapshots of our everyday life. I remembered these events happening but from a very distant perspective; I was physically present, yet I wasn’t really there.
It didn’t take me long to figure out the reason for this troubling detachment.
As my children and I looked at videos and photos from 2006-2010, I realized there was a central theme:
worry …
worry …
and more worry
Clicking through random pictures and videos was like flipping through a rolodex of past uncertainties and fears. Sadly, I could remember exactly what worry was distracting me … consuming me … at that moment.
Here’s a small sample:
In the video of my youngest child putting on her new blue crocs at 14-months of age, I remember holding my breath hoping these shoes would be the ones she would finally keep on her feet. I wondered just how much longer I would be subjected to disapproving looks as I pushed by barefoot baby through the grocery store in the dead of winter. I was so worried about her disdain for shoes that I forgot to appreciate those itty bitty toes and what a happy, shoeless child she was.
In my worry, I lost a moment.
In the video when my oldest daughter celebrated her second birthday in our “Mommy and Me” music class, I worried about the way she buried herself in my lap, wanting nothing to do with the other children. While thinking that her extreme shyness and clingy nature would surely cause her to reside in my basement until age thirty, I failed to notice how happy she was tapping her sticks to the rhythm. I failed to take in the lovely sound that came from her precious little mouth.
In my worry, I lost a moment.
In the video where my youngest child dances on her knees in the living room, I was preoccupied by the fact that at 16 months of age, she still had yet to stand up and walk on her feet. I was so worried she would shuffle across the stage on her knees to receive her high school diploma that I failed to notice the way my older daughter tenderly held her little sister’s hands as they danced. I failed to notice the way my oldest child lovingly accepted her sister’s unique way of getting around.
In my worry, I lost a moment.
In the video where I took oldest daughter swimming for the first time with other mothers and their babies, I remember self-consciously trying to hide myself behind her little raft and become invisible. I was so distracted by my appearance in a bathing suit that I neglected to appreciate the way my first-born child joyfully splashed her little hands in the water, and how blessed I was to have such a supportive group of friends.
In my worry, I lost a moment.
My daughters and I watched video clips for an hour. We had just reached the year 2010 when I suddenly realized it was past their bedtime. I desperately wanted to keep watching to see if the theme of worry would slowly disappear from the pictures. You see, 2010 was the year of my breakdown breakthrough that propelled me on my “Hands Free” journey. I wanted to believe that if kept scrolling through the pictures and videos I would see a woman doing less worrying and more living. But as fate would have it, I would not look at pictures to see if I had made progress in letting go of worry; instead I would be tested.
The next day, I received several messages from concerned readers of my blog to inform me my website was not accessible. Sure enough, when I typed in my website address, I received a “fatal error” message. Fatal error. I had no idea such a ghastly term even existed. Although I was quite alarmed to see this message instead of my website, I couldn’t help but think that such a term was a tad bit dramatic for a technology problem. I couldn’t help but think the term “fatal error” should be reserved for situations far more serious.
I immediately called my web hosting company. The man from tech assistance began tapping away on his keyboard in an effort to uncover the problem. Within seconds, he reported there was good news, and there was bad news. The good news was, the problem could be fixed. The bad news was, it was out of their realm of services. Thankfully, I knew a technology guru that was pretty certain he could fix it, but it would have to wait until the next day.
That is when I knew I had a critical choice to make.
I could spend the next 24 hours worrying; I could worry about my readers not being able to access my site, about my zero stats, about whether or not the site could get fixed. I could worry about my content disappearing and whether or not I would I have to start over. I could worry the next 24 hours away, and in ten years I could look back on photos from this particular time period and see someone who looked like she was there, but really wasn’t.
Or
I could live.
I could choose to focus on all that is going right in this precious day and let go of the undesirable circumstances of which I have no control. After all, through videos and pictures of my own precious life, I had witnessed the power of worry. Perhaps you, too, have experienced its destructive power:
Worry can remove you from the most beautiful moments of your life … as if you aren’t even there.
Worry can steal meaningful experiences right from your memory bank … as if they didn’t even happen.
Worry can prevent you from experiencing happiness, passion, and joy … as if you merely existed, rather than truly lived.
I decided worry had taken enough of my moments that matter—and would not be getting anymore.
So instead of obsessing over my broken website, I:
… played ‘Sorry’ with my 6-year-old
… watched my 9-year-old make a movie with her dolls
… worked with family and friends on an upcoming community event where shoebox gifts for children living in poverty will be created
… hiked in the sunshine with my children and their friends
… relished a long talk in the darkness with my husband
… enjoyed a cool evening run under the stars
In short, I lived the precious time that I was given instead of worrying those moments away. And in doing so, I realized this powerful truth: Everything I have ever worried about ends up being resolved one way or another despite my worrying.
My once barefooted, knee-shuffling youngest daughter now has no problem wearing shoes and walks on her feet. (She sometimes even sprints … to the ice cream truck.)
My once shy and introverted oldest daughter was recently described as a “social butterfly” by her second grade teacher. Her biggest problem now is trying not to talk to her neighbor.
My poor body image was shed with the help of exercise, adopting healthy eating habits, and developing a self-love for this imperfect body that hasn’t failed me yet.
Oh, and as you can see, my website was fixed. I think the term “fatal error” for technology problems is over-the-top. Most technology issues can be resolved, and if they can’t, it is certainly not the end of the world.
I think the term “fatal error” should be reserved for real life issues—like when worry becomes so distracting that it prevents you from living in each glorious moment at hand.
Because once that particular worry has been resolved, we cannot laugh and say, “Glad that’s over, now I can go back and enjoy everything I missed.”
Real life doesn’t work that way.
At best, you might be able to go back and watch lost moments through the capabilities of modern technology. But I think we can all agree, watching the best moments of your life happen on a screen pales in comparison to actually being there … mind, heart, body, and soul.
So my friends, my message today is simple: Be free.
Don’t make a fatal error by choosing to focus on what is wrong in your life rather than acknowledging all that is right and good.
Let go of that which you cannot control.
Let go and live.
*****************************************************
Because of the daily emails I receive from dear readers of my blog, I know some of you are facing difficult circumstances and future uncertainties. The point of this post is not to minimize anyone’s worries, but rather to bring awareness about the detrimental power of worry. My hope is that today’s message will allow you to let go of the worries that threaten your ability to be present and prevent you from grasping what really matters—even if the freedom is only temporary.
“How would your life be different if … you stopped worrying about things you can’t control and started focusing on the things you can? Let today be the day … you free yourself from fruitless worry, seize the day and take effective action on things you can change.”- Steve Maraboli, author of Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Please feel free to share your thoughts below. Thank you for being a part of this supportive and uplifting community, my friends of The Hands Free Revolution.
The Less Worry, More Life by Hands Free Mama, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
So good, painfully good. Guilty of the same malady. Maybe this is why grandparents enjoy the kids more, because they worry less?
You hit that nail on the head, from this blessed grandmother of 19 plus 1 on the way. One of my favorite quotes is “Worry is blind and cannot discern the future. Jesus has 1,000 ways to provide for us of which we know nothing.”
(author unknown)
Thank you, Jeaneen. When the grandmother of 19-with one on the way-speaks, I listen! Thank you for the voice of wisdom and assurance!
An important reminder that it is not just modern technologies that keep us away from living a “hands-free” life. Worry and stress, fear and uncertainty, keeping up with and/or judging others, living outside the moment; all of these things can take us away from the very important now.
Thanks, as always, Rachel.
Yes in deed, Bill. I call those distractions “internal distractions.” And our internal distractions can be as damaging as the cell phone and the computer when it comes to robbing us of our “moments that matter.” Thanks for the comment and encouraging words!
Thanks to your blog, I was able to give up the worry and have a moment. My oldest was invited to a classmates birthday party….my worries were that I didnt know the parents well, could my 2 y/o come with and be involved, what if they said something innapropriate or didnt have fun. Well I thought about what they would be missing if we didnt go, let go of my worry and we all had a great time. I met other parents from his class and met up with a few people I already knew. Both boys had a fabulous time and we all made memories…
You are my angel today! Thank you!
You just made my day. Truly. xo
This is wonderful, TammyRae! I cannot tell you how many times I didn’t do something fun because I worried something wouldn’t go right or would be uncomfortable. But every single time I got the courage to go, I ended up being so glad I did. I think the anxiety of the unknown can be so debilitating. Thank you for the comment!
Well I have the perfect solution for you…do what i did and have a baby at age 42 when the kids are already over 18! I have enjoyed every minute of every day with my son, even the hardest mommy moments…my attitude is so different this time! Thanks for the important reminder about worry.
Love it, Julie! Thank you for this lovely perspective.
Thank you for such a touching post. I had tears all throughout. My baby girl just turned 1 a couple of weeks ago and being a new working mama I can only say these past 12 months have been jam-packed with worry. Is she eating enough, is she sleeping enough, why hasn’t she walked yet, will she talk soon. To be honest I try hard to be in the moment and enjoy her but the constant nagging reminders from my mother fuel my worry further. It’s hard to shut out the noise. I have recently shifted my meal time approach, now it’s all about her, enjoying the food, tasting, playing, we sing and I even belt out an entire Oliver Twist rendition, we’re silly and she giggles – yes, the kitchen is a mess, yes she needs 3 baths by the time we’re done, yes my aching body silently cries for bed time but we’re in that moment fully that I actually don’t want it to end, it is but a start I wish to fully incorporate stillness and presence in all my time with her, thank you again for such a beautiful reminder..
Thank you for your open and honest response, Shereen. I can relate so well to what you are saying. I have the same worries with my first-born. I really love the changes you have made to meal time. What a beautiful way to “let go and live.” I can only imagine how much your daughter enjoys this time with you. You have inspired me today!
Just yesterday I was scouring the internet looking for answers as to why my 17 month old isn’t walking yet. He loves to crawl and even walks on his knees but I’m so WORRIED that he’s behind. Also, I was just told recently that my 4 year old could possibly need some pretty heavy intervention and therapy to get him from walking on his toes and I’m just sick about that as well. I can’t help but worry. What am I doing wrong, why didn’t I give them more tummy time, what if I don’t do the therapy right, the list goes on. My mom shared this with me today and I have let go of my worry about my 2 wonderful sons and I’m going to start enjoying every little moment even more now. I’m going to enjoy seeing my litttle 17 month old find creative ways to keep up with his older brother. I’m going to enjoy the few minutes that my 4 year old and I get to ourselves a couple of times a day while I help him stretch his feet and legs. No more worrying. God is in control.
I hope you don’t mind, I just had to write: My youngest brother walked on his toes until well into his elementary years. In hindsight we think it was simply because he was so short. Funny thing is that of course walking on his toes gave him super muscular calves which then in turn caused the doctors to think he had some sort of muscular disorder. Of course this was not the case, he was and is totally “normal”. I have never talked to my mom about her state of mind during this time (As a mom of two young boys myself I am certain she was likely beside herself with worry). But I have often thought of this with a smile when I start to worry about these types of development things with my own kids…because my brother is now a very well muscled completely normally functioning adult who grew out of his walking on his toes in due time (with several verbal cues and reminders of course). Keep on keeping on. I fully believe that kids (when left pretty much to their own devices) will grow out of most things that we freak out about. Just ask my sister
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I am so glad to know your brother turned out just fine! Thank you for the words of wisdom and experience!
Oh Jill, I feel like I am reading my own thoughts from when my daughter was young. For months and months, I was so worried she was not walking. At 18 months, she just stood up and started walking around. My pediatrician assured me she was fine the whole time and would walk when she was ready. After my daughter walked, I wished I had just trusted what the dr. was telling me. I have tried to remember this when there is a new worrisome issue (it seems like there always is). I love reading your newfound commitment to enjoying the stages your children are in and using the stretching time with your son as connection time! I agree … God’s timing is perfect.
HI Jill,
I have a 21 year old daughter who walked on her toes, the only time I worried was when the judgemental Principal of the school would make comments and laugh. (Yes i did panic!) But now at 21 no problems she is a very terrific young lady despite her little imperfections at the time. I cannot say the same for the “perfect” students that didn’t walk on their toes!!!!! Love life and your beautiful family
I need to wash, rinse, and repeat this every day! I am such a worrier and am actively trying to get better at letting go. Great reminder, Rachel!
xo
@ Susie,
I am able to enjoy my grandchildren more because I don’t worry about the details of their lives. I am, however, guilty of over worrying about their parents, my parents, and my life. The message I am taking from this post is that I need to abandon worry in ALL areas of my life. It’s a hard road but I have been minimally successful and I feel better and more present because of the effort. Thanks for the thought inspiring post.
Megan
Thank you for this article! I pop in to your website now & then but this article struck so close to home for me that I had to comment. I totally see myself in the worrier that you describe. In fact I justify it to myself saying ‘that is what being a mom is all about – worrying!” But your words made me pause and re-evaluate and honestly, I’m sick of being the worried, always tired, always planning the next thing mom. I just want to BE. And BREATHE. And enjoy my beautiful, loving boy – moment after moment!
Thank you Usha. I love your last line so much: “I just want to BE. And BREATHE. And enjoy my beautiful, loving boy – moment after moment!” I am right there with you.
I’m not trying to be contradictory, but I think if you are a good parent, worrying comes with the territory. We worry because we care. I get what you are saying, though, that it is pointless to worry about things you cannot control. The thing is, it is often difficult to know if there is something you can do or not. Also, worry is usually the thing that pushes us towards action. For instance, when my son started kindergarten this year, I worried that he wouldn’t make any close friends, as he is better one on one than in big groups of kids. The worry caused me to send out an email to the parents asking for interest in play dates after school. He had two different play dates, and seemed to really connect with the kids and seemed more eager to go to school afterwards. I do try to be present in the little everyday moments, though, and I think that is your bigger message here. I guess what I’m saying is… don’t worry about worrying too much!
Thank you, Jen. I totally agree. Worrying does come with the territory when we care and love these precious children so much! I guess what I have learned is to distinguish between the worries that are beyond my control, and those that are within my control. I think you made a great point that our worries sometimes are positive motivators. I really liked the example you gave. Just the other day, I kept itching the same spot on my leg. I became worried about it, so I was motivated to call and get an appointment with the dermatologist. But what I don’t do anymore is proceed in WORRYING about the issue every day until the appointment because now it is out of my control.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspective!!!
Sounds like it might be eczema. If so, nothing to worry about. Try hydrocortisone cream until the appt.
Thanks, Jen. I hadn’t thought of eczema. I will definitely try the hydrocortisone cream! xo
I have been reading your posts for several months now, and every single time I feel like I am reading about my own life. I have been trying to figure out why I haven’t been happy lately (and let me say, I am truly blessed with a wonderful husband, a career I love, a nice home and two great children), but why am I not happy. Everything in my life seems so perfect. Well, since I started reading your blog I have realized why. The pressure I put on myself is unbearable, I can’t take it anymore. I loved your post recently about the pressure we face with each new season and how to have a “hands free” fall. This post today is another one that got me. Thank you so much for being so honest and real. You are definitely helping me change my life.
This means so much to me, Jill! I am so grateful to know that you have been able to figure out what is causing your unhappiness. I, too, have felt that same despair when there was no reason in the world I should feel that way. That unending, unachievable pressure to have things a certain way and “do it all” can literally suck the joy from your veins. When I finally let go and simply allowed things to BE, my joy and passion for life slowly came back to me. I am sending positive thoughts your way, my friend. There is hope. You can find your happiness. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. xo
Wonderful reminder to be present in the moment and not miss it-I never thought of worry as robbing me of moments but I can see now that it has.
Love this message.
We all worry. It is in our nature. But handing the worry over will set you free.
Check out my personal (and funny!) worry story here!
http://thesimplystated.blogspot.com/2012/08/worry.html
Thank you, Susan. I just read your post. I think we have the same mom! My mom would have done the same exact thing. Your post was hilarious, but it got me at the end. What a beautiful way to incorporate the protective love we have for our children. Thank you for sharing! What a lovely post.
Perfectly timed post, Rachel! I’ve the past two weeks worry about something over which I have absolutely no control. I’ve missed opportunities to laugh and serve and learn.
For me, worry is always accompanied by fear, and I know that when I’m full of fear, there’s no room for faith.
Thank you for the reminder!
How beautiful, Emily. You have such a way with words … and such a lovely insight on life. I love your comments.
I’m just so glad it all worked out. My apologies for being so slow on the texting. I rarely check my phone. By the time I read them, Greg was already all over it. He knew much more about what to say than I ever could!
I hear you on the worry. It has robbed me of far too much of my life. Some of it turned out to be true, but I don’t think worrying helped me solve the problems. You know what they say in India, “It will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end.” I’m trying to make that my mantra. I’ll let you know how it goes!
MISS YOU. Are you coming home anytime soon?!
You know I adore your tech-savvy husband, Lori. He is my TECHNO-Angel on this journey. He is also the voice of reason and calm whenever something goes amiss in Blog-Land.
You have quoted one of my favorite quotes of all time: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay then it’s not the end.” I had forgotten it, though. Thank you for reminding me.
We are coming home for Thanksgiving. It is always packed full of family functions. We may have to meet up in August when it is just me and the girls. I miss you, too! XO
I can relate to this post, unfortunately. I feel like I am always looking for something to be wrong with my baby. She is not talking much, and of course I’m worried about that. I’ve never thought about the moments I was missing though.
Oh my goodness! So guilty (but I think that is the wrong label to use!). I look at baby photos of my now 8 year old and after I smile at his sweet chubby face, I cringe. And all I see is the young me who desperately finding her footing in life while getting divorced. I worried so much about everything – life choices and doing the dishes.
But I do have the choice of how I view those pictures now. I can look at them and worry that I wasn’t enough when he was a baby. Or I can look at them and see his smile. Because I was enough then. and I am enough now. I just worry a lot less as I’ve grown up along side my baby.
Oh Kristy, I loved how you re-framed it. I love this: “Because I was enough then. And I am enough now. I just worry a lot less as I’ve grown up along side my baby.” I will remember your lovely words!!!
My goal is to someday read your blog without bawling my eyes out. You read my mail. With two and Jr. High and one in 4th grade, I still struggle with so many regrets; how I wish I had your blog to remind me when my kids were small. I had the shoeless kid too and got my share of disapproving comments. I have a precious picture of my girls on Santa’s lap, both shoeless. All I can think of when I see it, is the remarks of other moms about them being barefoot in the middle of Dec. The list of things to worry about has only gotten longer the older they get and I grieve over my missed moments. Hopefully I can learn to let go of my failures of the past and start where I am…
Thank you, friend. You bring me comfort in knowing I am not alone in my worries and struggles. You are not alone either. We do the best we can with what resources and knowledge we have at the time — and we love them, we love them so much it hurts. But now we have an awareness we didn’t have before. We see worry for what it is — in most cases, it is a waste of our precious time. Let’s try to focus on today and what is right and good in today. I am here for you, friend. Thank you for being along on this journey with me.
I’m telling you, it was a good day when I found this blog! I worry. A LOT. I suffer from anxiety and the constant worry, oh it’s just a shroud. It requires a lot of effort to shake it off, but thanks for reminding me that I need to really try and SHAKE IT OFF.
Lovely, well-written, and timely as always. Thank you again for sharing your life.
Jill….I too had a boy that walked on his toes…..And everyone had advice as to how this would affect him down the road. It worried me to think I hadn’t done things correctly. It turns out he is 16 and has become a great athlete and is a child with an amazing vertical. A great skill for volleyball and high jump. He sometimes still creeps onto his toes…..he is a normal functioning teenager. Gentle reminders were all that he needed. Enjoy every moment…..time passes quickly.
The root of all of our worry is really fear. And FEAR is a four letter word worse than the F-Bomb everyone seems to use today.
Thank you Rachel. This post was very very good. It’s funny about worry and anxiety. They both take loving and present reminders in order to die : ) I have found that anxiety is focusing too much on the future and the expectations laying in wait there. For years this was killing me. Emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. I finally came to a crossroads realization: Living in the future only works in science fiction movies…
Then I realized my anxieties, ALL of them, were my feeble attempts at controlling the world to ultimately either minimize or obliterate pain and/or discomfort in my life.
I was trying to do Gods job (stewarding the universe). Like a worn out yappy dog trying to “protect” his humans from the mailman. Sheesh…
Next I saw that I was feeling disconnected from just about everything that matters. And the reason was that I thought I couldn’t be bothered by today. I had to think about tomorrow. Only tomorrow never comes. It just turned into more moments I was blowing by.
Today I am very thrilled to say I am very invested in what is important NOW.
My wife and her amazing little ways she cultivates and nurtures seemingly everything in her path…
The incredible and alive folks I am so honored and blessed to serve and pastor week in and week out…
And things so small and fulfilling like feeding my fish and swimming with my wife.
Thank you Rachel for being another friendly reminder of who I am called to be as well as the dangers that lay in forgetting this.
May God continue to bless you and your husband and your children with a beautiful, unpredictable, invaluable, and messy life that spurs you all on into even greater heights of love and trust and forgiveness!
If any one person I am aware of can claim they are walking out redemption for all to see, it is you dear Hands Free Lady.
Thank you Rachel.
Your resolve is contagious.
-Brion
thank you. thank you for becoming hands free and inspiring so many of us. i needed this post today. i have shared it on my blog. you inspire me and so many others. may God bless you and your family.
http://cbhamilton.blogspot.com/2012/10/letting-go-living-life.html
This is just what I needed today. Thank you so much for this!
I say this to myself several times a day “just for today, do not worry.” It’s so helpful. It instantly gives me peace. I don’t have to worry today! Loved this post. Thank you
Thank you, Sarah. I love your mantra! Mine is: “I can’t worry about that right now.” I say that when I know I cannot do anything to rectify the situation. Once I tell myself, “not right now,” time passes and a resolution happens! I shall try yours, too. I can use as much help keeping the worries at bay as I can get!
Thank you so much Rachel for reminding me that worrying is pointless and doesn’t change anything!!
Thank you for being here, Bridgette!
This really spoke to me. At 5 months old, my oldest daughter was labeled “Failure to Thrive”, and the pediatrician declared I’m one of those women who “can’t” make enough milk. I cried, but persisted and nursed, because a small part of me believed the doctor was wrong. Well, my baby grew… never on the chubby side, but she grew. But the gnawing worry was always there. Is she getting enough to eat? Is she growing fine?
20 months later, I gave birth to a chunky baby who soon became a real butterball. The “mother who simply can’t produce enough milk” suddenly had on her hands a baby who topped the charts. As of now, at 4 and 2, my daughters retain their “baby form”: the older girl is tall and slender; the younger has a stockier build. But both are beautiful and healthy.
I’ll never forget the bitter worry, though. The nursing experience with my first child was all marred by worry, fear and guilt. It can never be brought back and undone.
Thank you for sharing, Anna. I, too, experienced such horrible time with nursing with both my girls. The first time, I beat myself up. The second time, I was able to let go of the unrelenting pressure and give her formula. We cannot go back and change the past, but thank God, we can control how we see today. I am looking with fresh eyes and trying to see what is good. I am grateful to have you along on this journey.
Hello. I’m a very new reader; just learned about you today, in fact. Normally, I’m not one to chime in with blog comments; I find some comfort in simply lurking. However, I wanted to say that I couldn’t agree more with your message today.
My own experience on the point of worrying: I’m 36 years young. I’ve been afraid of death — and all things that can somehow lead to it — for about 30 of my years on this rock. The fear (worry) that some choice I might make could very well lead to my own demise was so powerful that I truly didn’t do very much living. I chuckle when I sit and reflect. I didn’t stop worrying about death until I was told a year-and-a-half ago that I have stage 4 cancer. Essentially, in my brain I was told that I was going to die. My fear was brought to reality. In that moment, the thing that I had worried most about every single day wound up driving me forward to claim the most out of every day that I have been given. There IS so little value to be earned in worrying. There IS so much more to be gained by celebrating and reveling in the everyday.
Dearest Anne, let me first say how honored I am that you chose to leave a comment here today. As I type through my tear-filled eyes I am grateful for you. I am grateful for the words you share. I started this journey to let go of distraction and grasp what matters … and some days, unexpectedly, what really matters gets posted on my blog. Like today, when you wrote. You have captured it so beautifully, so eloquently the “what really matters” in life. I shall remember these words always: “There IS so little value to be earned in worrying. There IS so much more to be gained by celebrating and reveling in the everyday.”
Today I celebrate you. I celebrate your life. I celebrate the fact that you no longer worry, but instead LIVE … live the precious hours and minutes of each day. I join you, my friend. I join you. Thank you so much for being here today, dear one. Sending you love and peace.
What I find even more interesting is the opportunities that are missed. It is natural for humans to worry; we are loss adverse. Losing something we already thought was ours is more painful than losing something that was never really ours. So it hurts more to lose your iPhone than it does to not land the new client.
My question is: What opportunities are being missed when focusing on worry? Could there have been an opportunity somewhere to inject some laughter? In the article ‘I was so worried about her snuggled in my lap at her birthday party, I missed her tapping to the beat.’ Could the situation been resolved more effectively if the opportunity that tapping symbolized was realized?
Cheers to being proactive with your children. I am a huge fan of proactive parents!
I am in tears almost each time I read your blog as I struggle daily with living “hands free”. My biggest struggle is that after being blessed with 2 kids after years of trying, prayers and tears, I struggle with the guilt of not completely enjoying every single moment with them and wanting to fulfill their needs above mine. Keep the posts coming as there are many of us out there that need reminding. Thanks!
Such a great post Rachel! So often we consume ourselves with worry and completely miss the moment.
It is such a struggle as a parent to stop worrying about our child’s development, our parenting, what other people think of our parenting, when really all that matters is our love for our children and our time spent with them. Who CARES what anyone else thinks! 
Anne,
Wow! Just wow! What a profound message you wrote. God bless you on your journey.
I, too, have battled a fear of death, but with me, it is the fear of losing others, especially my parents. I’ve come to realize that one of the main reasons that this fear was so profound was that I had never truly lost anyone I loved. This past September I lost my 94 year old grandmother. She was so ready to go. I was relieved to see her suffering end. What I realized was that death truly is the ultimate release from all fear, worry, sorrow, and sadness, so, as a Christian woman, why in the world would we worry about that. Since that time, I’ve learned to release some of the worry that held me down for so long and instead embrace the time I have with the people I love, especially my parents.
Thank you so much for your beautiful post.
This is such a powerful insight you share! I commend you for what lessons you gleaned from your grandmother’s well-lived life. I love this line: “Since that time, I’ve learned to release some of the worry that held me down for so long and instead embrace the time I have with the people I love, especially my parents.” I will remember your eloquent words. Thank you for taking the time to share your beautiful thoughts.
I was first introduced to your website two days ago when a friend posted your “More than ‘I Love You’” post on Facebook. It made me cry, and I shared it with my students today. Because your words moved me so much, I couldn’t get enough. I am sitting here in my classroom (while I should be grading papers) reading as many of your posts as I have time for.
I have been living and teaching in Egypt for the last six years. My Egyptian husband and I have decided to move to the US in August. All I do is worry: Is he going to be able to apply for his green card with all the drama that is going on here? Can we afford a lawyer to help him? Why do we really have to prove to the government that this is not a green card marriage when we have been married twice over the last four years? Am I going to be able to find a teaching job in this economy? Am I really going to have to live with my mother and all her drama while I look for an apartment I can afford? How am I going to save enough money to go home without sacrificing my sanity because I can’t do anything anymore? Can we afford to do one more round of in-vitro before we leave because we can’t afford it in the states? All I do is worry to the point where I just want to sit and cry on a regular basis.
This post is the one I am commenting on because I don’t want to be that person who can’t enjoy the present because the future is terrifying. I am bookmarking your site because your words are inspiring. I feel like anytime I begin to lose perspective and appreciation for people and things today, I can read your words and be reminded of what is truly important in life.
Thank you so much for being a beacon for those of us who are momentarily lost.
Tonya, you have truly touched my heart. It always means so much to learn that someone stumbled upon my blog and felt compelled to keep reading and keep visiting. I can feel the weight of your worries in your words and am saddened by the struggles you and your husband have and are facing. If you can find a glimmer of hope and light in my messages, then take them in — each time I write a post, I write praying that it will touch one person. I am certain there are many posts here for you, friend. Thank you for writing to me and letting me know you are here. Wishing you peace in your heart today. xo
I just found your blog and I have already been crying and laughing. I soooooo needed to “hear” your different messages. Thank you God for sending me to this site! God bless you and keep on writing!!!
I am so glad you found me, too, Vicki! Your beautiful comments today have touched my heart. With encouragement like this, I have no choice but to keep on writing! Thank you for walking this journey with me!