“Every human heart beat is a universe of possibilities.” –Gregory David Roberts
This week is my birthday week, but honestly I feel like my gift came early. In fact, since receiving this gift 43 days ago, I’ve used it every single night. I share this gift with anyone striving to keep track of life. Because as we all know, life is so easily lost in the excess, the hurry, the agenda, the beeps, buzzes, and dings. But here’s one way to grasp what really matters …
When I first began speaking about my “Hands Free” journey in public, it wasn’t unusual for me to become emotional while describing painful details of my formerly distracted life. But now things are different. I’ve let go of past regrets and see each sharing of my story as an opportunity to help someone else grasp the moments that matter.
On this particular night, the room was filled with opportunity. It was by far my largest audience yet, and the people who filled the seats awaited my words with welcoming smiles.
The woman who invited me to speak stepped up to microphone to introduce me. She began by mentioning a “Hands Free” strategy that had greatly impacted her relationship with her child.
She told of “The Heartbeat Check.”
As the woman tenderly described the nighttime ritual I wrote about in 2011, I experienced two completely inappropriate reactions.
First, shock.
I couldn’t believe someone outside of my parents and their retired friends at the exercise club were reading my blog back then. And not only did this woman just acknowledge she’d been reading my words since 2011, but she had used them to create a family ritual that was still alive today.
I was shocked.
Then I was sad.
“The Heartbeat Check” that had once been a great source of connection with my own children was no longer in existence.
Where had it gone?
Why did we stop?
What have I missed?
As the clapping ensued, I realized that while I was quietly falling apart, my introduction had concluded. I quickly got a hold of myself—after all, I was about to take the stage and tell a very large group of people to let go of distraction, perfection, and regret. This was hardly the time to beat myself up over lost opportunities!
I managed to compose myself and make it through the 60-minute presentation with no other thoughts about the forgotten ritual. But afterwards, I made a point to tell the woman how much it meant to me to know she and her child did “The Heartbeat Check” each night.
The woman teared up as she disclosed a few more details about this sacred bonding time with her daughter. Then she covered my hand with her own and thanked me for bringing her closer to her child.
As I looked into her glistening eyes, I realized this was not a time to feel shame or regret; this was a time to be grateful for the powerful reminder I’d just been given. And by choosing to look forward rather than back, I could seize this gift—I just hoped it wasn’t too late.
The very next evening, I was on a mission to bring “The Heartbeat Check” back into play.
I started with the most likely candidate.
I crawled up next to my 6-year-old child who was cozily nestled in her lime green comforter awaiting my nightly tuck in.
To my child and her gaggle of stuffed animals, I immediately fessed up.
“Do you remember when we used to do ‘The Heartbeat Check’ at bedtime?”
This child, who remembers exactly where she placed her glasses in a sea of overgrown grass and the precise location of three long-gone bruises from a tricycle mishap in ‘09, nodded eagerly.
“Well, last night I realized we stopped doing ‘The Heartbeat Check,’ so I was wondering if we could start again,” I explained with hopeful anticipation.
Instantly I was reminded why being six is so awesome. When you’re six, you can always pick up where you left off. With no reprimand, no lecture, and absolutely no discussion whatsoever, my child abruptly peeled back her comforter to expose the panda on the front of her hot pink pajamas. She pointed straight to the fuzzy target and said, “Here ya go.”
I laid my head on her flannel-clad chest. Her heart sounded just as I remembered— calm, steady, strong.
Fearing I may have suffered hearing loss over the past two years, my child clamped her arm around my head and pushed it closer to her beating heart.
“What’s it sound like?” she inquired.
I mimicked the sound I heard with a “lub-lub, lub-lub” and then added, “Your heart sounds really happy tonight.”
Suddenly my daughter sat up and announced, “My turn!”
How could I have forgotten? With this particular child, listening to my heartbeat was just as important as listening to her heartbeat.
Suddenly a mop of unruly curls fanned my face. My affectionate child wiggled around until she got a clear sound.
“Your heart sounds like this: Boom, badoom, boom … Boom, badoom, boom.”
Hmmm … my heartbeat sounded eerily similar to the chorus of “Super Bass” by Nicki Minaj. And when I told her so, we both exploded with laughter.
I had forgotten how entertaining it was to have a ukulele-playing rock star check your heart palpitations.
“Let’s do this every night,” she declared.
With relief, I smiled a whole-hearted YES. It was not too late to seize the gift.
Next, it was my 9-year-old daughter’s turn. With her, I was a little nervous. What if she had gotten too old for this? What if she thought I was weird? Oh well, I decided—this wouldn’t be the first time I embarrassed myself in the name of parenting.
After we read a chapter of her mystery book, I took the direct approach.
“Would you mind if I listen to your heartbeat like I used to?”
She gave me an exasperated look as if to say, “Are you serious, Mom?” But I noticed she didn’t say no. Her eyes rolled upward—she was considering.
Finally, this child who adamantly chooses her own clothes, walks by herself to her friend’s house, and wears deodorant four out of seven days a week informed me that it would be okay.
Then she did exactly what she did when she was seven. As I listened to the beat of her heart, she inhaled the scent of my disheveled hair and said, “Your hair smells good, Mama.”
It was comforting to know that although my child had grown in height and years, she had not outgrown this special ritual. It was not too late to seize the gift.
So every night for the past 42 days, this special ritual has occurred. While one girl’s heartbeat check brings laughter so intense that hiccups result, the other child’s heartbeat check inspires solemn talks of surgery, death, and heaven.
Yet, there is one commonality.
“The Heartbeat Check” offers refuge.
No matter how crazy the day … no matter how discouraged I feel … no matter how dismal the state of our nation, the heartbeat check offers refuge.
It brings peace when I am conflicted …
It brings calm when I am in chaos …
It brings opportunity when I feel like I’ve failed …
It brings direction when I am lost …
There is nothing more hopeful than the sound of the human heart. And every night, I am grateful to be reminded of this. Because truth be told, I have been thinking a lot about what the world will be like when my children have children—and to be honest, it scares me.
But then I walk by my daughter’s room and I see this:
Listening to the sound of Banjo’s purr
Maybe “The Heartbeat Check” is an even greater gift than I thought.
Perhaps one day when my children are parents and life just looks too bleak … or the news is too disturbing to hear … or the day has just been too damn hard, they will remember something they thought was lost is not lost at all.
And when they draw their loved one close, they will be reminded that the sound of hope is only a heartbeat away.
It’s never too late to lay aside past regrets or future worries and listen for it.
*******************************************************
This week as my age goes up by one number, I feel especially inspired to let go of the internal and external distraction that holds me back from initiating meaningful connection with the people I love. What meaningful connection rituals do you have or want to have? There is much peace to be found in the special moments of closeness and human connection. What a powerful way to impact your child’s life now and in the future.
Thank you for reading, commenting, and sending me personal messages about your own “Hands Free” endeavors. Each exchange with a member of “The Hands Free Revolution” is a GIFT that fuels my writing. Thank you for accompanying me on this journey.
The At the End of the Day What Really Matters by Hands Free Mama, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
That is SO awesome! I am so glad I came across your page… thanks for helping me be a better mom
Thank you for your support and kind words, Melissa! I am grateful to share this journey with you.
The truth lies in your words. Didn’t realize until I read your latest blog that our bedtime ritual brings PEACE, CALM, DIRECTION, and OPPORTUNITY to our home. Whether it be while my 3 1/2 year old son is lying in my “nook” while we read his bedtime stories or my daughter is lying in my arms nursing; no matter what has transpired throughout the day, this is time of day that I cherish the most. Thank you!
Oh this is so beautiful, Melissa! I am so inspired to know that you experience these hopeful emotions when you have your special connection time with your children at night. Thanks for sharing this.
I love the idea of the heartbeat check!! I have a wiggly toddler so it may be a while before he’ll allow it but I hope to make this a tradition too. So beautiful! Thank you Rachel!
Thank you for bringing tears to my eyes and being a reminder that the simple acts of interacting with our children bring life long changes. I shall certainly be doing a few heart checks in my household tonight – and hopefully every night for as long as I can.
Nothing would make me happier to think this piece inspired a few heartbeat checks tonight. My early birthday gift is just getting better and better! Thank you for sharing this journey with me, Kathryn.
very true!Nothing is more comforting than knowing that we all have someone who loves us.Recently I started reading aloud to my 11yr old son.It has meant giving up my own reading at bedtime,but the feeling of snuggling together and reading is so divine!
GKB
This is so inspiring to me, Geetha. I have a friend who also reads to her son who is older. This is a special time for them. My 9 year old has just gotten into mysteries. I enjoy the books she chooses, so I have found myself reading aloud to her just like I did when she was small. I hope we can continue this on into the pre-teen years and maybe even longer.
I do this, too! It always makes me remember how I loved to hear their heartbeats in the doctor’s office before they were born, and I always breathe in awe when I am listening now years later, realizing that this heart has been beating continuously ever since, regardless of whether or not I take the time to notice
. Life is so precious. I also like to tell my kids that the spark that makes it possible for their heart to beat in the first place is that Divine Energy that connects us all, to each other and to all living things. We are part of something so much greater than ourselves. What a great post – thank you.
Peace.
I always look forward to your beautifully written comments and lovely insights, Lisa. You are an inspiration to me.
Happy Birthday! May it be a day full of being present moments. Thank you for your words and for sharing your journey with the all of us as openly as you do. Your writing often brings tears to my eyes in a good way that my soul needs. Your journey encourages me so much on my own, thank you for that. Blessings on your special day of celebrating you!
I am so touched, Kristen! Thank you for such a beautiful birthday wish for me!
Awesome write! Thank you. My son is 9 and still loves me to tuck him in – think I will add the heartbeat check to this routine!
i confess, i’ve slacked off on reading your posts in the past few months but i can’t think of a better “welcome back” post than this one.
such a blessing. thank you for freely sharing with us, Rachel
Your stories always have a way of bringing tears to my eyes, thank you for sharing this part of motherhood with us.
My birthday was last week… So from one January mom to another…Happy Birthday!
I started something similar to the heartbeat check with my adopted son when he was an infant. I would lay for hours with him asleep or resting on my chest, learning the sound of my heartbeat, so that it could become the sound he reached for when he was in need of comfort or refuge. As he grew older, it became a wonderful bedtime ritual in which we would listen to each other’s hearts and reaffirm that they beat with love for each other. He’s now 4, and we’ve moved away from this ritual in the past few months – but reading this post, I’m inspired to reintroduce it as a comfort leading into the sometimes scary overnight hours of newly vivid dreams that he’s been experiencing. Thanks for reminding me about the power each heartbeat holds!
i was cleaning the house like mad and my kids kept getting their things out and making my clean places messy again….can you believe that?
i was getting so frustrated. i read this and immediately was reminded of what is important. we stopped everything and did a heartbeat check. giggles and “heartbeeps” were heard by all 3 of us. thank you for sharing this and thank you for also sharing that you hadn’t done it in a while…i loved being reminded that i’m not alone in starting something and forgetting…then picking it up again. God is so good. our family needs the heartbeat check! thank you!
I’ve been following your blog for a while and your posts always have a unique way of touching me and bringing tears to my eyes. This one was on another level, though. Thank you so much for sharing. I can’t wait to start this ritual with my family tonight. I think it would be a great way for me and my husband to reconnect at the end of the day.
I’ve been following your blog for a while and your posts always have a unique way of touching me and bringing tears to my eyes. This one was on another level, though. Thank you so much for sharing. I can’t wait to start this ritual with my kids tonight. I think it would be a great way for me and my husband to reconnect at the end of the day, too!
Oh yes, Jennifer–what a great point. This definitely should apply to other people in our lives that we love. I have been blessed to read several such experiences between married couples as one of them neared the end of their life. I am so touched by the responses to this blog post. Thank you for your kind words to me today.
Stumbled upon your blog recently, as I have a couple Facebook “friends” that follow it. It was timely for me, whose been attempting a similar lifestyle for a couple of years. So much I would love to share with you, just not here in these comments. I will say, however, that no matter the bedtime ritual, I think we all seek to accomplish the same thing…to make us stop for a moment, to remind us of the good, the special that each of our children has, and fill our spirit with the knowledge that we were blessed with one more day with them. No matter how crazy, how frustrating, or how rushed the day was, bedtime gives me a deep breath, a kiss, an “I love you.”, a chance to give myself completely to each one, even if only for 5 minutes.
This is just beautiful, Ester. I love what you have written here: “…no matter the bedtime ritual, I think we all seek to accomplish the same thing … to make us stop for a moment, to remind us of the good, the special that each of our children has, and fill our spirit with the knowledge that we were blessed with one more day with them.” I will remember and cherish your words! THANK YOU!
Oh my gosh, this might be my favorite post yet! This line… “the sound of hope is only a heartbeat away”, is just perfect. Every night before I go to sleep, I look in at my son sleeping and I am amazed at the intense love that I feel so strongly that I have to place my hand on my heart, as if to keep it from exploding with joy. I am excited to try your ritual tonight. Thank you. I hope your birthday is wonderful.
Thank you, my friend. So glad to share this journey with you.
Given what my family has been going through as of late, with my son’s health issues, I get this post in a way that is . . . just really deep. And forgive me if I write like a lunatic but I’m so tired. Every night as of late, I’ve listened so carefully to his heart, praying that God will slow it down, hold it steady, and give his little heart a break. It’s been beating so fast, too fast, for months, and now his heart muscle has thickened, but it will go to normal once we get the blood pressure stabilized, or so the cardiologist says. And meanwhile, I stand close, hold tight, and instead of worrying about the book and all the things that go with it, “I pray please God just let him make it through this night, the night, so that we can see the morning light. Amen.”
Oh El, thank you for taking the time to come to my blog, plus read and comment, given all that you are going through with your son and the release of your book. I have read your blog posts throughout your ordeal. I thought it was amazing how you perceived the timing of your son’s issues with the debut of your book. I love that you realized that it was perhaps giving you something to focus on when otherwise you would be consumed in your worry. I am glad you have proceeded as planned with the book. Your reviews have been outstanding. I am not one bit surprised. I am so thankful you have been in the hands of such capable doctors and feel hopeful about your son’s health issues. You and your precious boys have been close in thought and prayer. I hope you have felt all the love coming your way. Now I am off to buy my copy of “Ripple” http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B2Q4G38/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb!
Thanks so much for this, Rachel. Our youngest is now 22 *gasp* and I’m sitting here savoring sweet memories of our ritual of songs & prayers. And I’m surprised by the realization that when visiting my very elderly parents in their home, I STILL kiss them both goodnight before heading to bed. Sweet memories and realizations… Again, thank you!
Oh Nancy, this is incredibly sweet and so meaningful. This is the future relationship I hope to have. Thank you for inspiring me.
I absolutely love your down to earth’ness’ and realism that you share. I found your blog on Pinterest, and have been following you ever sense. I am a single 30-something with no kids (just not my time yet) but you bring up some great ideas and points that are applicable to life in general. This particular post reminds me not to take the little things for granted, like a heartbeat. It is necessary for life, yet how often do we really just stop and pay attention? Don’t worry, I won’t go around to my coworkers and ask to listen to their heartbeats.
but in these crazy times, sometimes we need to stop and focus on the little things. A friend from several years past just lost her life in a car accident this past Monday. Her two young daughters were with her; one didn’t make it through the night and her other is still fighting. From someone who isn’t a mother yet, but longs for it…don’t take it for granted.
Alisha, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I cannot begin to imagine the suffering and pain of her family. Each time I hear about such tremendous and unexpected loss, it confirms my desire to be ALL here in the precious moments that I am given.
It touches me to know that you feel my messages apply to people of varying backgrounds and different life situations. I am amazed and thrilled at the response of today’s post and to know that the message resonated so deeply for various reasons. I feel incredibly blessed to write these messages that are divinely placed on my heart. Thank you for letting me know you are here.
Although my daughter just turned 5 we still rock her each night. I know this time will pass and someday she will be too big/old for this ritual but for right now we both still love it. When I was reading your blog it reminded me of that time. When I am holding her and she calms down for the night and I can forget the tears, or scolding, or impatience of the day and remember that I have God’s greatest blessing in my arms. Perhaps I will add the hearbeat so that when she is too big we will still be able to cuddle. Thank you!
Oh Connie, I could not agree with you more. That sacred time of connection allows me to be at peace with my children (and myself) after a not-so-great day. I have come to rely on those winding down moments. I think they have actually added years to my life!
Simple…’thank you’ for sharing this! and hope you have a great birthday
I’m going to do this with my boys tonight:) Thank you for the beautiful moment.
Love the idea of the heartbeat check! It will give me and my children to slow down and take the time with each other at night, rather than a quick peck and pat good night. You are always inspiring! Thank you for your posts.
This is getting printed for my notebook of things I want to read over & over! Your posts always inspire me. Thank you for “letting go” and sharing with us!
Love it! We have a few “connection” rituals.
(1) She asks me to do the “scoot over” … this is where I’m crawling in bed with her and I say, “Sccoooot over” and squish into her… but I squish more than I need to squish. She giggles. I say, “Sccooot over” again or “My heiny is hanging off!” and squish her some more. She giggles. I’m not sure how we started this or why she likes it – but she intentionally starts at the edge of her bed so that I have to scoot her over.
(2) I ask her what she noticed today. Sometimes, when I ask her how her day was or a specific question about who she played with, I get rote responses or one-word answers. But when I ask her what she noticed, I ALWAYS get an interesting, thought-provoking response. Always. She notices fascinating things.
(3) We have these Kimochis that I got her for Christmas when she was 4. They are little stuffed faces when emotions written on the back. We pull a kimochi out of her bag … then we all take turns describing a time that week when we felt that way. It always brings us closer when she knows that Mom and Dad felt “left out” or “guilty” or “happy” or “angry” about something, too – and it also helps her reflect on how certain experiences made her feel.
(4) Similar to the kimochis … we have a deck of cards with emotions on it. We play “Go Fish” … when you get a match, you have to describe a time that week when you felt that way. Normally, we do kimochis OR cards on Fridays. More of a weekly connection point.
Your story reminded me of the journey of my fathers death from lung cancer. During those many weeks of his final moments on earth, I laid night after night in the same room, often on the floor, listening for his breathing. Although I could not hear his actual heartbeat, I paused and listened for each breath – so that I would know that he was still with me, my connection to him still earthly. Often he would stop breathing, and I would stop and listen, gasp and begin to cry, and then another struggled breath would come. I began a ritual of praying to hear no more breaths and to let him go in peace, then taking it all back and dying to hear just one more as I was not ready to let go. Once he was gone, I found myself laying in my own bed back home, straining to hear the sound of my husband breathing too – in and out – and remembered the rhythm of life. Your article brought be back to that precious time I spent as my father exited this life, and I was reminded how important it is to hear the beats of life of those I love today, right now! I will start a new tradition tonight and lay my head on my daughters chest so that I can hear the sound of her beautiful heartbeat and will thank God for that most amazing miracle. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Cynthia, I am so moved by the recollection you have shared today. Several people have written to me today to share the ways in which the heart beat or the breaths of their loved ones provided sacred comfort in the later years in life, particularly those last days. What a gift it is to be able to be that close to someone and share those intimate moments. I thank you for taking time to share your beautiful story of connection, pain, peace, and hope.
Even though my kids are growing up fast,22,18&13, I can still capture varied versions of this and not regret what I have missed. Thank you for coming into our life and teaching us how to love and slow down again. These peaceful calm traits have been lacking so much and turn life into a busy scurry that only creates lots of stress. So nice that someone can nail these pieces of life we are missing.
cheers & thank you for your changes you are making to our world. Happy Birthday XX
I really appreciate your kind words and encouragment, Anneleise. It inspires me to know you are out there finding ways to love and connect with your children through their stages of growth.
My Bible Study is just starting a new book called “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp (www.aholyexperience.com) and her message parallels yours on so many levels that I thought it warranted mentioning. Thank you for your writings.
Wow. That is one of the nicest compliments about my writings/message that I have ever received. I love Ann’s writing style and am inspired by her profound message. Thank you for making me smile tonight, Janelle.
Read this tonight and was very inspired by your idea. I tried it with my little girl and it was such a sweet moment. Glad I found this I can’t wait to try it with my other daughter tomorrow night. ♥
YAY! Thank you, Julie. This means SO much to me!!!
Thank you, thank you! I SO needed to read this today. My soon-to-be-4-year-old seems to have grown up overnight and now loves to play outside with her new friends more so than spending time “playing” with me. And now I am painfully remembering all the silly or special things we used to do before I got so busy with my second child, and have since been forgotten or faded. And adding to it, I am realizing that my second has not benefited from many of those fun activities either. I need to remember that it’s not too late!
I look forward to reading your blog posts as they help me to gain perspective on life and are an opportunity to reinforce my approach to parenting. I feel honored to be a mother of 2 beautiful boys and reading your blog is helping me to be the best mother I can be for them. Thanks so much for sharing & Happy Birthday!
I am so touched by your words, Jess. Thank you, friend.
This came to me at the perfect time. I went out on a midweek date tonight and the sitter put my 5 year old son to bed for us tonight. She told us of the story they read and how he had fallen off to sleep so peacefully and quickly. This is when I was struck by a surprising feeling…envy. I was upset to have missed my favorite time of the day. You see, my son has autism and the time we can connect most is bedtime. For a long while, early in his diagnosis, he banged his head for up to two hours to “soothe” himself to sleep. As a mother this was a heartbreaking experience. His pediatrician recommended a small dose of melatonin to help him get to sleep. We were nervous but took her advice, I will never forget that first night when my little man , that hated to be touched, fell asleep in my arms! I listened to his soft breaths and when daddy came to take him to his own bed, I refused to let him go. Therapy has brought us out of a lot of things, but our night time cuddle is not one of them. He will love this heart check, I am so blessed to receive this addition to our special time. Bless you!
Oh Dee, this is such a beautiful story! What a blessing that the pediatrician had the insight to offer that suggestion. It seems to have made a world of difference. I am so happy to read about experiences like this. Thank you for taking time to share and inspire. You just never know who might read this and gain something valuable from your story.
I have missed a few posts lately, but am so happy I read this one. I have two toddler boys that I am pretty sure won’t let me do a heartbeat check, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try
If not I know they will at least let me cuddle with them for a minute or two, and this post made me realize I should do that every single day. I often feel like their childhood is going by too fast, but your post make me see I have the control to slow down and cherish it. Thanks again for the reminder 
Everything you write is beautiful…thank you!
Happy birthday Rachel – I am glad you received such a wonderful gift! xx
So good to hear from you, Deb! I went to your site a few weeks ago, as well as your FB page, and just marveled at the success you are having. I love your beautiful headshot and the layout of your FB page. You are continuing to do GREAT things, lady. I am so glad you stopped by today. xo
Beautiful.
Just beautiful.
I love reading your blogs. Thank you xo
Rachel, I am so grateful that I stumbled across your blog tonight. I have just spent nearly 3 hours reading some of your past entries and I lost count of how many brought me to tears. Your writing is so powerful and the lessons that you have learnt and chosen to share are truly life-changing. As a mother to 3 beautiful girls (3, 6 & 6), I am just beginning on my journey to become more present and am now presented with a new dilemma – I’ll be desperately checking my email for any new updates from you to help guide me!! Have you ever considered writing a book? lol.
Hi Melissa, when I hear that someone went back and read older posts … well, that just makes my day! I am thrilled that you found my blog and wish to join me on this journey. You need not check your inbox too often — I post only once a week (always towards the beginning of the week.) This gives readers time to really absorb the content and incorporate the practices into their lives, if they so desire. Once-a-week posting also enables me to practice what I write — to be Hands Free with my family and grasp the moments that matter. About the book … yes, there IS going to be a book. It has been a life-long dream to become a published author, but especially since starting this blog. A handful of amazing publishing companies are currently reviewing my book proposal. I hope to be sharing some very good news in the weeks to come. Thank you for letting me know you would buy it! Best wishes, Rachel
Happy Birthday my dear friend. We’re just getting better with age!
I love being on this often-crazy, but oh so rewarding, journey with you, my friend.
I started following you about a month and a half ago. You changed my life for the better. =) My life with my daughter and my family is already so much better. Today you’ve made me tear up at work and I’m ready to go pick her up from daycare and spend the evening with her! Our evenings are so much different than they had been before. Our family is so much different than it had been. We hadn’t been bad, we just hadn’t been THERE.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Kerry, I am so honored. It is messages like this that I keep in the forefront of my mind as I spill my heart into my writings. Some experiences are easier to share than others, but messages like this yours ALWAYS keep me going. Thank you, thank you!
Once again, you say just what I need to hear. I subscribe to quite a few blogs (running, food and inspirational/spiritual), but yours is the one I always read first when you have a new post. Oh how I wish it was every day! One of my bedtime rituals has been going on for about a year now. I have a son, age 7, and a daughter, age 5. I put my hands on each side of their face and look deep into their eyes and say “do you know who my FAVORITE little girl (or boy) in the whole wide world is?”, and then they giggle and say “ME”! Actually, my son has started rolling his eyes when he says it, but there is still a smile on his face. I guess I just want them to know how special they are to me. I think I will incorporate the heartbeat check too and see how they respond.
Thanks again, and keep the posts coming!!
Thank you, Denise! I know there are so many great blogs and sources of information out there, so to know that my posts are special to you means the world. I love the story you have shared here. That little exchange that you share with your kids is the type of thing they will remember long into their adulthood. It is the kind of thing they will remember when they feel like the world is against them or in times of disappointment, failure, or despair. There you will be, a vivid memory so clear in their minds that it almost seems real, reminding them that you love them no matter what.
Every time I read one of your posts, I end up in tears. Thank you for helping us to slow down and breathe, and to relish the simple blessings of life. Please keep up the marvelous work of reminding and re-reminding us of these important truths.
oops…incorrect blog address. It’s too long!
I read all of your posts and am grateful for the reminders of what really matters. This post really spoke to me and while my “baby” is 18 years old, he’s not too old for me to always be looking for new ways to connect with him. I am also blessed to have grandchildren and I so want to be a positive force in their lives as they grow in our world. Thanks for a wonderful post & Happy Birthday!!
Thank you for the reminder that it is never too late. No matter how many days you “missed” the heartbeat check, your children are more concerned about the fact that it’s back in place. Focus on how you are making them happy now and they will continue to be happy. God bless you!
I became the one to tuck my daughter (my pet name for her is Sunshine) in every night beginning when she was 3, I am up early and usually gone before my wife and daughter get up but she is now 15 and has for the last 2 weeks been getting up earlier and coming out and I greet her “good morning Sunshine” and give her a hug, before I leave for work. It is such a wonderful start to my day and gives me the opportunity to wish her a great day as well. I feel and hope it gives her as much of a lift as it does me.
This is simply beautiful, Daniel. This gives me something to strive for. Thank you for sharing.
I am still reading your archived posts but you have most certainly inspired me on my mindful journey. I referred to your blog today on this post. http://amindfuljourney.com/a-distracted-mind/ I was nervous about my phone confession but hopefully others will relate rather than attack. Thank you for being a support in this journey!
Hi Rachel, I’m a new reader. My friend shared your blog, and I’ve really enjoyed reading your reflections. I posted an image on my blog, inspired by your writing, with a link to this post. Loving touch–listening to heartbeats and playful roughhousing–is so important! You can find my image here: http://stepsandstaircases.tumblr.com/post/41572191392/loving-touch-roughhousing-the-art-of Thank you for your thoughtful reflections, ideas and resources.
Hi! I am so encourage to read this post. The world is such a hectic, crazy place and my husband and I strive to live a faith-filled, simpler life for our girls. We have these cute little baskets that hang from each girls’ bedroom doorknob. It is their ‘inhouse’ mailbox so to speak
We write each other letters and send little things to each other at any time. It is such a special connection. We spend family time a lot around with our Bible, and that is important to us. The ‘inhouse’ mailbox offers privacy, if needed, to share special feelings, thoughts and expressions of love. It’s a way to embrace each girls’ unique self and another way for them to know that they are much loved and very important.
thank you, i’ll start the heartbeat check tonight. i read to my 4 year old at night, in bedtime.
what other closeness we have, playing the piano together. with this article of yours, i have decided not to enrol her in any piano exams, let this be a journey solely for fun, no cert, no exam, nothing.
thank you..
This is beautiful! I was thinking of doing this and imagining how the rituals would go as I kept on reading through the comments. Then, it hit me for a second that I wouldn’t be able to actually hear the heartbeat. I floundered, feeling a bit sad, then laughed at my silliness. Of course, I *can* “hear” heartbeats. I can simply press my head or hand against where the heart lies and feel it!
Deaf parents or parents with deaf children, you can still do this. Just feel the pulse. Feel vibrations of the heart beating against the sternum. It may be even more magical than hearing.
hands free mama, thanks for sharing this post! It’s wonderful.
THANK YOU, Kayla, for blessing my blog with your wisdom and love. Your words are powerful and inspiring.
What a truly awe inspiring writing/ritual/experience, which shows us how intangible happiness is! You just got a new fan. =)
Yay! Always love it when someone joins our Hands Free community! Welcome!