“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.”
-Helen Keller
My blog post, “Giving a Gift That Matters,” was recently published on DailyGood.org. The editor of Courageous Creativity saw the article and was intrigued. She contacted me in hopes that my nine-year-old daughter would be interested in writing a piece about her uninhibited gift-giving practices.
As I read the editor’s message, the nine-year-old in me became giddy. Although I wanted to respond with a whole-hearted yes, I knew that would not be appropriate. Just because this would have been my dream as a child, it may not be my daughter’s. I hoped she would accept this unique opportunity, but I decided I would not pressure her; it would be entirely her decision.
That evening, as my daughter was preparing for bed, I told her about the email I received from the editor of Courageous Creativity. As casually as I could, I asked, “Would you be interested in writing an article about why giving gifts makes you happy?”
Suddenly the head that was lost in a sea of flannel popped out of the hole in her pajamas top. “Published … like in a real magazine?” my daughter asked excitedly.
The word “yes” barely escaped from my mouth when my child jumped straight into the air and screamed, “Yes, I would! I would!” Without missing a beat, she eagerly asked, “Can I get started right away?”
Although it was close to bedtime, I was thrilled by her enthusiasm. I offered her twenty minutes to write. My excited little author ran to get a pencil and paper then positioned herself next to me on the floor. Although it is my inherent nature to instruct, guide, and make suggestions, I said nothing. This was her story, not mine. Therefore, I knew the words must be hers, not mine.
So there the two of us sat in the peace and quiet of my child’s lemon yellow bedroom, each of us writing the stories on our hearts. My daughter wrote “Giving from the Heart,” and I worked on a blog post.
The twenty minutes flew by quickly, and soon it was time to call it a night. Reluctantly, my daughter agreed to work on her story a little more the next day.
After one more twenty-minute writing session the next evening, my daughter announced that her piece was ready to be viewed. I was given the honors.
Within the first paragraph, the teacher in me spotted a clearly stated main idea and thoughtful organization. I made a mental note to thank her teacher for the exceptional job she did teaching my child how to write an effective narrative.
I continued to read on, thinking there would be no surprises. After all, I was there that day my big-hearted child wrapped toiletries and used books in hopes of bringing cheer to homeless people in our city.
But as I continued reading, I realized I didn’t know everything.
And what I learned changed everything.
My daughter described driving into the heart of the city. Her story picked up where we saw hundreds of homeless people gathered for food. I remember exactly how I felt in that moment. I was scared. I wanted to protect my children, cover their eyes and spare them from seeing such despair, desperation, and hopelessness. I remember thinking: This was a bad idea.
But as much as I wanted to beg my husband to turn the car around, I didn’t. And now with my child’s profound words staring back at me, I was given confirmation that proceeding into that heartbreaking scene was the right choice for my child. In that moment, fear was the farthest thing from her mind. She wrote:
“We were in the downtown area of our city when we drove past something I will never forget. Many homeless people were crowded around this broken-down truck. A man on the truck was holding up an orange saying ‘Merry Christmas’ and throwing out the orange for someone to catch. When I saw people pushing each other to get to the oranges, that made my heart drop. They were fighting for a piece of fruit. That is how little they had.
Beside the truck, I saw an old man, maybe in his 60s. He was eating a sandwich with an orange and I thought to myself, “I want to help this man.” I quickly hopped out of the car, gave him a gift and said, ‘Merry Christmas, Sir.’ Earlier, he seemed so gloomy, but as we drove off, I saw a smile. I felt so good!”
Suddenly it all made sense. After that momentous day downtown, my child’s giving practices intensified. In fact, suddenly there was nothing my child owned that couldn’t be given away. I would find packed boxes of her most prized possessions in the closet. She would explain the boxes by saying, “Next time we go to the Autism Center …” or “Next time there’s a tornado ….” I also noticed that after the oranges experience, my daughter made a point to carry dollar bills in her purse if we were going into the city. As we walked the busy streets, her eyes searched for a cup or hat in which she could place her hard-earned dollars and make someone smile.
I remember when she called me to the computer one day to show me a video of a child and his mother who had to walk for hours to get water—water that was contaminated and dirty. As tears dripped down my face, my daughter consoled me. “Don’t cry; there is a way we can help.” She proceeded to tell me all about “Water of Life” as if she was their smallest (and most convincing) spokesperson.
Now that I think about it, my child has always gravitated toward the world’s suffering—always been one to want to know the world in its truest state. Starting when she was very small, the recurring question at our nightly Talk Time was always: “Mama, tell me something bad that happened in the news today.”
I looked into those somber brown eyes knowing full well if I didn’t tell her, this resourceful child would find ways to know what was out there. So with reluctance, I explained in words she could understand about the atrocities that many faced, the dangers that lurked, and those who had lost so much. And then I stood by and watched her digest every troubling morsel I offered. Time after time, I worried that it was too much, too overwhelming, too disturbing. After all, the problems of the world are vast and insurmountable. At least that is what I used to think.
But thanks to the heart of a child, now I know differently.
That day when we drove into the city my daughter saw with her own two eyes the world her mother spoke of—the one that could be cruel, hungry, desperate, and cold.
But she was not scared.
Oh no, she had been waiting for this moment, dreaming of this moment, when she could do something to help.
You see, her eight-year-old eyes did not look at that scene and see daunting global issues like poverty, violence, hardship, and hopelessness. She saw one man whose entire day could be brightened by a mere piece of fruit. A mere piece of fruit.
And when you see something as painful and as beautiful as that, everything changes.
My child walked right up and stared directly into the eyes of suffering. She watched in awe as tears of joy collected in a man’s eyes simply because of her unexpected presence on a dingy city street on a cold day in December. And from that moment forward, this child became a full-fledged giver.
Because when you have the most important things in life – like love, faith, and family – there is nothing you own that you can’t give away.
********************************************************
Sometimes it is hard to allow our children to see pain and suffering or learn about the dark sides of life. Yet, by being the instrument in which they can turn to for difficult truths and information, we become a trusted resource. I have decided I want to be the one my children turn toward for things unknown, therefore the difficult truths must come from my lips in language they can understand. And perhaps by offering up these troubling issues, their hearts will lead them to help or perhaps they will realize they are not alone in their own struggles. Many hopeful options open up when you face life side-by-side with the people you love. If you have something to share about this topic, your comments are welcomed and cherished.
*Thank you for being a part of The Hands Free Revolution. The blog and Facebook page will be quiet next week as I unplug in honor of my children’s spring vacation. We intend to go where their hearts lead us. I know I will be in good hands!
**For anyone interested in reading my daughter’s entire piece (page 27) and the other inspiring articles in “Courageous Creativity,” click here.
The Holding a Piece of the Pain by Hands Free Mama, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Wow, this is so powerful! what a wonderful giving heart your child has! I want to develop that in my own kids. It takes a lot to go out of our comfort zones, but now I’m motivated to do it. I like out in a suburb, and rarely go into any cities, but I feel like this is something my kids need to see. My kids are 6 and 8, and it would be so powerful for them to actually see first hand, and feel the joy of giving something. I do find myself scared in areas like this, so I avoid them myself, but I want to look for opportunities now. I’ve thought about going to a shelter to volunteer, but often, they don’t allow children to volunteer.
Hi Elaine, I am so glad to know this post has inspired you to look for opportunities to volunteer with your children. There are several small shelters in our area — one for teen moms, and the other for homeless women and children — that allow families to come in a play with the children, do yard work/cleaning, or bring treats for the holidays. Maybe a local church could help you find shelters like these in your area. My children gain so much from these experiences. I think yours are at the perfect age. Keep me posted!
I LOVE this. And I love that you’re encouraging her to reach out and follow her instincts, even when it pushes your boundaries and makes you a little uncomfortable. I read her article, and it’s amazing! I am a former teacher who has read and scored a lot of middle school writing, and I must say that her writing is so clear and engaging — much better than much of what I’ve read by students a few years older!
It’s funny that you posted this today, because I’m on my own little journey regarding the homeless and how the Lord is calling me to minister to them and not just pass by. Blessings!
Hi Angela, thank you so much. I read your comment to my daughter and she lit up! What a compliment.
I love that you are on your own journey to bring love and compassion to those in desperate situations. One of my very dearest friends often stops to say a kind word and offer a loving touch to homeless women she encounters because they are so often not regarded as people. She tells me the most amazing experiences happen when she does. Thank you for sharing your lovely comment and inspiring journey with us.
Oh my goodness I am crying such tears over this beautiful post and your daughters beautiful heart and mind. What an inspiration. I am beyond blessed to have read this today. I have an almost 8 year with a heart and desires like this. Just the encouragement I needed to encourage him. Thank you! Blessings to you and yours as you all enjoy your spring break.
Lori, this means so much! I am so happy to know this post encouraged you! How beautiful to know that your son has such a generous heart and you recognize his gift. Please keep me posted on your family’s loving adventures. I know I will be inspired!
Amazing! You both have such a gift for the written word.
Thank you, Angee. I appreciate your loving comments. Thank you for being a faithful companion each week on this journey!
I love your article. It especially resonates with me because I help people tell stories with their photos. Much like ones memory of an event captured in a photo, your experience with your daughter was seen with your eyes & emotions. This reminds me to always ask a couple people what story they remember – as we are reminded – there are always two sides to a story and in this case both filled with authentic spirit and emotion
How lovely, Rita. Your occupation sounds incredibly meaningful and rewarding! I love what you said here: “There are always two sides to a story and in this case both filled with authentic spirit and emotion.” How beautiful!
Oh HFM! I wish you could give a seminar on how to raise such wonderful people with beautiful hearts!! I have an amazing 4yo little who is as selfish as they come
I want so badly to teach him to be giving. We are a very charitable family and I pray as he grows older he will have a fraction of the compassion your amazing child possesses. Good work Mama 
Thank you, Jennifer! You make me feel so loved! Don’t worry … at age 4 children are very much thinking about their own interests and needs. Just try to involve him in little ways when you are doing something kind for someone else — even if it is baking a treat or making a card for a teacher or a neighbor. Explain how good it makes someone feel to be recognized and appreciated. Have you read my post about the trash collectors? My girls were younger when we did this and it made an impact.
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2011/02/15/the-clean-lines-of-a-loving-heart/
What a beautiful piece. I value generosity like this, perhaps above all else. I often tell my children the XXX family is generous. My oldest is 9 and I was thinking that he was too young to take out to the local “tent city”, but you are making me rethink it. Thank you for sharing and more importantly for rasing such a beautiful daughter.
I am so glad. If you and your family decide to go, I would love to hear about it. Thanks for taking time to comment.
I want everyone I know to read this. And the people I don’t know too. Thank you.
Thank you, Genie. You made my day!
I am humbled. Because we are a military family. we often have to discuss scary and heartbreaking things like war and deployments. I have worried that our kids have grown up too fast, because of things we’ve had to share with them. My hope is that we are teaching our girls to appreciate the time we share together, and that our focus is on the things that matter.
The image of that orange will stay with me.
Thank you, Casey. I am in awe of your strength. I cannot imagine the uncertainties your family must face. How inspiring that you strive to keep your focus on the time you share and on what really matters. I wish you and your family love and peace. Thank you all for the sacrifices you make.
I love this post, and your daughter has definitely inherited your writing talent. Her article is amazing! So well written and she is such an inspiration. I recently came across another inspiring young girl, and I thought of your daughter. I think she would enjoy watching her video. Here is the link…
Maddie Cranston – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67sc9riA1_c
Oh my goodness, I just fell in love with Maddie! She is so bright, compassionate, articulate, and amazing! I cannot wait to show my daughter’s her video. Thank you for sharing this, Jen. And thank you for such kind words about my child’s (and my) writing. I am thankful to share this journey with you!
I won’t be surprised if this is the most powerful piece of writing I read this week — and I read a lot. I cried and I smiled to think of your daughter holding out her gifts in such perfect love. If only all of us could keep the heart of a child inside us and see with the eyes of your daughter. Encouraging her to share herself through words is the best thing you can do, both for her and for us. Thank you.
What a beautiful thing to say! I am so touched by this incredible compliment. There are so many amazing blogs and talented writers out there! I love what you say about encouraging her to share herself through her words. What a beautiful reminder. Words are healing and empowering, aren’t they? Thank you for taking the time to share your lovely insight and thoughts.
I only recently began following your blog and I’m rarely one to comment on posts, but I feel so compelled to tell you how incredibly touching and world-changing I feel your words, thoughts and stories are. I’m moved to tears on a regular basis by what you share. Thank you for bringing so many important life lessons into focus for so many of us. I’ll continue sharing your posts and blogs with the hope that others will be as positively impacted as I have been.
I hope and pray I’ll be able to continue to teach my sweet 3 year old baby boy about what’s truly important and valuable in this crazy world as well as you have done with your children. Thank you for sharing your heart and hope.
Stephanie, I am so honored. To say that my writing is “world-changing” is an incredible gift to me. I will treasure your comment for years and years to come. It means so much to know I am making a difference in your life. Thank you for blessing me today.
Your daughter is AMAZING!!! Thank you for sharing her story and your perspective!
Thank you for such encouraging words, Kendra!
Your family continues to amaze me every time you write about them! Your children have clearly picked up on the altruistic, kind nature of your heart (nature AND nurture) and you keep spreading joy in this world.
xo
Thank you, friend. You have one of the most beautiful hearts of anyone I know. Love that we found each other through sharing our hearts through our blogs.
I have to say that I too have only just recently started reading your blog, and am always fighting back the tears at the end of every piece. I’m a student studying business, ethics, and mediation. It’s people that come from families like yours that inspire great things – Keep it Up!
Thank you, Rachel. What an interesting combination of studies! I am sure you are very busy with your studies. I am honored you take a little of your precious free time to read my blog and leave such a kind word. So glad you are here.
As always, your articles are wonderful and bring me to tears! Thank you for helping me keep my focus on what is important!
So happy to share this journey with you, Lorana!
Thanks ever-so-much for sharing this inspiring message with your readers. Like her Mother, your daughter is filled with so much love in her heart. There’s nothing more rewarding than reading the rich writing through the eyes of a child. Your daughter’s writing is so filled with incrediable voice – a strong element in any writing piece. What an amazing message of giving every adult and child needs to read! In a society that focuses so much on the negative in newspapers and on television it confirms my belief there are many giving and caring people who never receive credit for brightening the lives of others and making the world a brighter place. Give your daughter a hug and word of thanks for making a difference from this reader! God Bless!
Thank you, Lloyd! I passed along your kind words and hug to my daughter. She was very happy to know she brought a smile to your face and hope to your heart. I am so glad you found my blog. Your encouraging words are a blessing to me!
This is so moving. Your daughter’s bravery and compassion are exactly what myself and almost 100 other families in my city (Boulder, CO) are hoping to instill in our own children. I started our group, “Raising Little Heroes” this past summer and I work hard to find ways in which we can all give back, volunteer and regularly think of others together with our small children. Your daughter is an inspiration and I admire here fearless frank attitude. We all have a lot to learn from her and others like her. Thank you for recognizing and nurturing that truly unique, special and important quality in your daughter and for sharing your point of view as a mother in this respect. I will be sharing this and your daughter’s essay with our group for sure.
Wow! Sarah, I am so inspired! “Raising Little Heros” sounds like an incredibly meaningful community doing beautiful work! I am going to check out your website now. Thank you for sharing this message with your group!
Thank YOU for visiting our RLH site and leaving such a wonderful note. So glad I could inspire you in return for the inspiration you gave me today. My big dream for our group is that the work we do will motivate people to start their own groups in their own communities. There has been something truly magical since we all started seeking these opportunities in a big group. Organizations that normally say they don’t provide opportunities for really young kids like ours have been willing to listen because I’m able to say “I have almost 100 people on my mailing list…”. Together we’ve found it easier to “think outside the box” and to convince organizations to do the same and consider working with us. The response from families has been overwhelming. Most people say they’ve been meaning to do this sort of thing for a long time but didn’t know where to start. Anyway, thank you again. To your incredible daughter and you for sharing her story.
Simply beautiful.
Thank you, friend.
I love your words especially the bit at the end, because when you have love, faith and family there is nothing that you own that you can not give away. I think that you are brilliant!!
Thank you, Amanda. You found my favorite line. I struggled with getting the words just right in the last paragraph, but when I did, I got a little teary. That doesn’t usually happen when I write! I am glad it touched you, too.
So proud of your daughter! The way she wrote about what she saw through her eyes is very moving.
Not only that, the lines where you said “it would be entirely her decision” and “this would be her story, not mine” says so much about your thoughtful parenting style. I’m a true believer in “we do what we see” and it sounds like your kids have picked up on your passion and kind way of seeing the world.
Thank you, Elizabeth. I appreciate you making note of that. That is a new thing for me — letting go of the need for my children’s work to be perfect and to control everything. My Hands Free journey has shown me the beautiful results of letting my children take responsibility for their actions, both the positives and the mistakes.
Such a beautiful story of authentic love. How fortunate is your daughter to have a chance to live out the blessing of “first fruit.” How grateful I am to have the fortune to read it. Enjoy your spring break. Maybe your and your daughter’s being find respite from doing. Somehow I know you will.
Thank you, Gayle! What a lovely comment.
Thank you so much for your encouraging articles! I look forward to a new one each week! What great reminders they are to just live in the moment and not get distracted by all the technology, etc. that we are surrounded by each day. I have gleaned so much from what you write, and I pray that you will continue to share from your heart because I truly believe that God is using your words to touch others’ lives.
And I was incredibly touched by your daughter’s article! What a gift of mercy and love and giving she has!
Blessings,
Angie
Thank you so much, Angie. What a beautiful comment. You have touched my heart.
The world is so different front the eyes of the 8 yrs old…sometimes I wish if we all were like that, the world would be a lot more peaceful, with more love & more hope.
Wonderful post, what an awesome daughter you have there. Mine are still a bit younger but they have enjoyed helping at the church outreach lunches and pack shoeboxes at Christmas each year. I love it that they now talk about world aid and how we can help. I think their father and me travelling to different parts of the world with charities has really helped them understand this is a real problem but there is hope. Thanks, Mich x
Rachel,
What a beautiful post and a beautiful daughter you have! I am saving this story to remind me the courage you have to let your daughter experience the world. My children are still young but I am inspired by your words and story. I loved hearing your daughter’s perception. It brings a lot of hope to what often feels like a broken world. She is a special gal and you are a fantastic mom!
Best,
Meg
WOW!!! That was such an amazing read. I stumbled upon this blog as I was searching for something else i had read. I glanced at this and thought, I don’t have time to read all of this… but I couldn’t stop reading. It was truly AWESOME! you and your daughter are amazing people. She woulnd’t be who she is without your example. I am so unbelievably impressed! and now late for a meeting, but very happy I took the time!
Thank you, Tania! I so greatly appreciate this encouraging feedback! Welcome! I am so glad you are here! This is an amazing journey and the community here is so uplifting and supportive.
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Thanks for sharing, this brought tears to my eyes. Powerful.