My seven-year-old sang “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to two beautiful babies when our family recently volunteered at a group home.
Yesterday I described the Hands Free transformation of one of my loyal readers. Through a series of what he refers to as, “little steps,” he has covered monumental ground.
Although he and I have different backgrounds and live very different lives, we both share the desire to grasp what really matters.
In order to do so, we both started this journey by taking the first step.
And today I want to erase any doubt in your mind that you are not equipped to take this step.
I want to impress upon you that anyone who wants to be Hands Free can be Hands Free. Regardless if you are high-strung Type A or low-key Type B (or somewhere in between), a Hands Free life is within your grasp.
So today is a List Day.
You may know by now that I am a list maker. Lists are powerful. Lists serve as reminders. Lists are powerful reminders that tend to stick with you far longer than long-winded paragraphs. And if this Hands Free Mama hopes that if anything sticks with you in today’s entry, it something, just ONE thing, from The List.
I will be overjoyed if one person reads the following list and says, “That’s it? That is how I begin to go Hands Free? Well, I can do that. In fact, I am going to start today.”
So to that person, and anyone else who is interested in seeing what a Hands Free Step looks like, here is my ever-growing list (with links to further information on how each can be played out).
Little Steps That Equate To Big Steps Towards A Hands Free Life:
-Go to the local library as family and leave your phone in the car.
-When driving, place your phone in the glove box.
-Do a household chore WITH your child (i.e.; folding laundry, doing dishes, cooking or baking).
-Create a Saturday morning ritual like making pancakes or going to IHOP.
-Turn phone to “all notifications off” when you are with your family.
-Sing along with the radio or a CD instead of talking on the phone.
-Enjoy the peaceful solitude of your inner thoughts.
-Keep a small notebook with you to jot down great ideas, the dreams for your life, and special memories.
-Stick up for someone.
-Have a “tech cleanse” for a day, two days, a whole week…maybe a lifetime.
-Think through accepting new commitments and determine if they coincide with what really matters to you.
-Go outside your comfort zone to join your child in something he or she loves to do.
-Spend the day with your family and do not look at the clock once.
-Turn off your computer from the time your children get home from school until they go to bed.
-Ask your child to make a sign to place on your computer. One dear reader shared that her daughter’s sign says, “Do not use, until you snuggle“.
-Make cookies or muffins with a loved one, and then give them away.
-Let your child bake or cook dinner without fear of making a mess or following a recipe.
-Share a favorite childhood memory with someone you love.
-Allow yourself to simply think with no distractions.
-Read the Bible.
-Give yourself Five Good Minutes of meditation a day.
-Read a bedtime story to your child.
-Have “talk time” with your child at bedtime.
-Go on a nature hike looking for usual and beautiful sights like clouds and bird nests.
–Ask your parent a question about his or her early years and then listen, really listen.
–Close your laptop when your loved one walks into the room.
-When your child or spouse walks in a room, greet him or her with happiness and eye contact.
-Every night think of five things you are thankful for with your child.
-Express gratitude to someone who was (or is) an angel in your life.
-Do something you loved as a child, like sew or play an instrument.
-Find a volunteer opportunity to do as a family.
-Write a love note to your child just because.
Ask your child, “What do you want to do today?” and then do it.
-Practice waiting joyfully.
-Contact that person who keeps popping into your head time and time again…there’s a reason he or she keeps coming to mind. Find out what that reason is.
-Sit down on the couch and cuddle with your child or significant other. (Remember this line? “No matter how much she wants to, needs to, or would love to….my child cannot kiss a moving target.
Well, that is the end of the list for now. But with each day that I strive to go Hands Free, a new idea arises. And believe me, I will write about it.
To those of you who previously joined me on this journey, I know you have your own Hands Free “baby steps” to add to the list (and I would love to hear them).
To those who are just arriving at this place, now you have a starting point. Your Hands Free journey begins today. Simply choose something from the list that appeals to you then watch as something beautiful, something unexpected, unfolds before your eyes.
With each “baby step” you grasp a piece of what really matters within your hand. And there is nothing little about that.
Do you have any Hands Free baby steps to share? If so, please leave a comment or send me an email. Read the list again, circle it, star it, and invite someone to join you as you take your first step into a life worth living. Better yet, share the list with someone you love. Invite them to be your Hands Free partner, and take the step together.
Love this list! Of course you know how I feel about spending time in the kitchen with the kids….. but I really appreciate your suggestion to ask your parent a question about their life and really listen.
I have a friend whose father is in the final weeks of fighting cancer. My friend just flew up to NY to spend some time with his Dad. My friend came back today and mentioned that he was surprised his Dad was watching so much History Channel TV. Turns out his dad had majored in history in college. My friend had no idea! He’s assumed since his dad was an optometrist (or was it ophthalmologist?) that he’d been pre-med. Obviously his Dad had/has a strong interest in history, but my friend never knew. My friend didn’t say it, but I could tell he was somewhat saddened that he’d missed out on learning some of these things about his Dad … and that he’s only learning them now (when his Dad will probably pass in the next few weeks).
Oh Tanya, this is exactly why I want to live “Hands Free.” I can’t bear to think that my distraction would cause me not to really KNOW my parents or my children, but I know that there was a time in my life when it did. I am so thankful my eyes were opened and now I ask more questions than I ever did — and I listen, really listen to their response.
Thank you for sharing this powerful story.
One of my “hands-free” practices is NOT to answer YES immediately to every request I receive in different areas of my life. Most of the time, I try to take 24 hours to pray and think about the opportunities given to me. Even though it is tempting to encourage and help someone with a task or project, I want to make sure that I don’t “over-schedule” my life. It’s better to do a few things well instead of a lot of things mediocre. I ask God to help me with organizing priorities on a regular basis. Otherwise, I end up with endless “crazy” days trying to keep up–that’s not being “hands free.” Thank you for your time and your heart…you communicate the “hands free” life beautifully! SMILES!
What great advice, Susie! Before I became “Hands Free,” I often said YES to things without thinking. I was afraid I would feel guilty if I said NO. But once I started my Hands Free journey, I wrote a mission statement for my life. What is most important for me to accomplish while I am alive on this earth? From there, I was able to quickly scale down my activities and focus on what really mattered to me. Thank you for bringing up this great point about how over-scheduling our lives prevents us from being “Hands Free.”
You are my muse in my ear to avoid distraction! I have already started doing some of these things, and I have discovered that my 2yo likes talking to Grandma on the phone himself while we’re in the car instead of me talking on the phone.
Also, I’m making this for my husband – a low-tech way to show him that I love him:
http://thestewartestate.blogspot.com/2011/12/love-message-board-tutorial.html
Kristin, thank you for this wonderful comment and idea! I went to the link and I LOVED that message board idea. I could see that sitting on the dresser in our bedroom. I recently gave my husband a journal in which I jot little notes to him and leave next to the bathroom sink. I too often neglect to tell him how much I love and appreciate him — this journal has really helped me make effort in that area. I love the results! Thank you for sharing here today. I know someone is going to have a great Valentine’s Day idea from you!!!
For me, I need to put my laptop in a very inconvenient place – like the garage – during those hands-free times, so that I’m not distracted by the “I need to send a quick email” (that turns out to be not so quick) when the kids are home from school. And keep a list of internet/email to-do’s and do them all at once during a specified time.
Thank you, Sarah. Great suggestions.
I think I need to turn the computer OFF during certain times of the day… see, it’s located in my kitchen right now.. and the temptation to be always checking it is so very strong!
and I wonder why I feel so scattered all the time!
Hi
Awesome.I just decided to go home early from work instead of lingering around and browsing websites aimlessly and I am planning to surprise my kids by baking cookies with them.Also I am going to try ice skating tomorrow with them- I have never done it before.
One other thing I have begun doing is to sit with my hubby and son while we drink our morning tea instead of running to check emails..I hope to urge my hubby to do so too.I found that even if we are not talking just sitting there and enjoying the early morning peace together starts off the day on a much better note than most mornings when everyone is rushing around to do their stuff and get out of the house.
Keep it coming lady!You rock!
GKB
I cannot tell you how much I love this comment, GKB! I am so inspired by the choices you are making. Don’t you find that when let go of distraction and connect with your loved ones that your whole mood improves … your whole perspective improves? That is what happens to me! And I just love that you are all sitting together while you drink tea. I have found that when sitting together, even in silence, something lovely will happen … look, a smile, a conversation … and I will be so glad I chose connection over distraction!!! I am grateful you took time to write and share your story. So glad to be on this journey together!!!
GKB’s comment gave me pause. Currently, when I wake in the morning, the first thing I do (before even getting out of bed) is pick up the iPad and read email, blogs, and Instagram. My husband and two boys are drinking coffee and watching the news before work/school. My husband calls the iPad/iPhone little black boxes. Tomorrow, I’m going to grab my journal and sit with them. Thank you for creating this list. It’s one thing to know that I want to make a change, it’s another all together to have a plan ready to implement.
~Diane
This thrills me to read your message today, Diane. It is truly the little changes we make to let go of our distractions — even for a few minutes — to connect with the people we love that begin to help free us from our distracted state.
What do you suggest as an alternative to relying on phone notifications, if you are used to using them for reminders? I use the ical and reminders apps on my iPhone for EVERYTHING. Of course they are ALWAYS going off. I even have one to remind me to check my reminders in the morning, thinking I’ll better plan my day. They help at times, but I really don’t “notice” these notifications anymore. I miss stuff anyway, and wonder how did my mother remember to defrost the meat, turn my orthodontic expander at night, or sign that permission slip for school?? Will going “hands free” retrain my brain to better remember all the regularly occurring, and one-off tasks I need to do?
What about going low-tech? Use a wall calendar (like Flylady’s) and build routines on index cards or simple post-it notes? Then you don’t have to carry all the reminders in your brain, which is what is really happening when you ignore the reminder beeps 🙂