Hands Free Mama
Letting Go...To Grasp What Really Matters
Subscribe via email to get Rachel's posts in your inbox!
Mary Blake says
May 22, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Thanks so much for sharing…it’s exactly what I’ve been dealing with and looking for some reassurance. I feel like I’ve been handling all of my children’s little mistakes–ALL WRONG. Thanks for your encouraging words of wisdom.
Emily Hoffman says
May 23, 2013 at 12:57 am
Thanks so much for sharing. Really appreciate the perspective and words of wisdom.
May you be blessed with continued strength to keep calm and carry on.
Jenn Van Harmelen says
May 23, 2013 at 3:09 am
I needed this. Thank you.
May 23, 2013 at 4:28 am
I am going through this realization at this time.
I want to stop terrorizing my child, but when the steam goes off, it does.
Thanks for yhis inspiring post!
May 23, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Hi! Thank you and God bless you for sharing this. One of the great things about your sharing is that it shows courage; courage which in turn helps others with the same problem. I am a yeller and I have tried to stop. I have prayed, I have asked for forgiveness from my children but I still explode, as you said, like an overinflated balloon, tired out by spills, lost shoes, feeling like a referee between 2 six year olds, repeating the same thing over and over again… And I forget… I forget that they are children, that we all make mistakes and that their hearts are pure…
May 23, 2013 at 8:25 pm
I would love to read the poem but the printing is too small for me. Would you be able to type it out somewhere on this site? 🙂
May 24, 2013 at 11:13 pm
if you are using windows, press the ctrl key and the + key and scroll your mouse button up. or if you have no scroll button on your mouse, try using the arrow up key. i have a visually impaired daughter (and am aging myself and had to use it to read the poem as well!) and there are all kinds of magnifiers available as add-ons to help you see.
May 23, 2013 at 8:44 pm
It has taken me almost 2 years to withdraw from that life. Glad to hear it took someone else the same! I feel so much clearer now. I have patience like none before. What I need to watch now is getting frustrated with the old me that I meet in others!
May 23, 2013 at 9:49 pm
Thank you for sharing your words, they have truly hit a spot in my heart and knowing that others experience this, makes me feel I’m not alone or dealing with this by myself.
May 24, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Thank you so much for putting my thoughts into words. It’s coming at the perfect time.
May 24, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Absolutely beautiful. Growing up with a very loud and verbally abusive father, I hate to see his behaviors in my own parenting. I have to be ever vigilant about not breaking my bond with my kids through yelling like my dad did. Thanks so much for this.
Tera Pemberton says
May 24, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Thank you. This was me about 6 years ago and I’ve seen ‘that look’ in my children’s eyes. Vowed never again – had a breakdown-breakthrough myself and I actually have them approach me with a hug after I’ve ‘not’ over reacted and told me thank you for not getting mad, but for helping them. This is so important, and I’m definitely sharing with others.
May 28, 2013 at 4:13 pm
It’s so good to know that there are others who feel the same way. I’m thankful that the Lord brought me upon this read through Facebook because I find myself getting angry with my young girls (age 4 and 2) over dumb, kid things. Then, I look back at how I behaved and how they reacted and realize….that’s not the person I want to be. I just became a stay-at-home mom, but also run a home based business. It’s been hard for me to find a balance between the two, but when I see my daughter’s react the same way you describe, I know that I need to (and I will). Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement to know that I’m not alone.
May 29, 2013 at 2:53 am
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It is very applicable to me at the moment, as I too am trying to do too much and take it out on the kids. It needs to stop!
Isabel Eddleman says
May 29, 2013 at 4:29 pm
Thank you so much for sharing. It must have been hard to write, but so that you know… It has opened my eyes to something I have closed my eyes to without realizing it.
linda morin says
May 31, 2013 at 1:54 pm
too small to read 🙁
May 31, 2013 at 6:01 pm
please see my reply to ‘ourhouseoflife.’ it will let you know how to use a keyboard tip for magnification if you are usingwindows as your browser. hope it helps!
June 3, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Thank you for sharing this with us. I think this happens to most of us due to the stressful lives
we live. I have cried reading your story because I feel like that at times. I promise
it needs to end once and for all. It will also make us a happier family once we resolve our problems.
July 18, 2013 at 3:50 am
Like the others, I’d like to say thank you as well. I needed to read this. I can’t thank you enough for helping me realize I am like this too. I love my girls, who are also 6 & 9, more than life itself. They don’t deserve a mother who can’t control her emotions and not understand that they’re just babies. They don’t know anything but what we teach them. We have to be the example for them in everything. Thanks so much!!!!
July 19, 2013 at 11:47 am
Thank you for sharing this. I did go through a yelling phase as well, but it was reserved for when I felt my son wasn’t listening. When my son was little, a pastor once said, “Never yell over spilled milk.” I kept that close and never yelled about the innocent messes, I calmly taught him to clean the mess. As a single mother, I felt the deep loud voice might help with the listening part.
July 28, 2013 at 2:22 am
As I read this, I am in tears, this is the exact point I am at right now, overwhelmed and frustrated. Thank you for making me realize , I am not alone
Rachel Macy Stafford says
July 29, 2013 at 4:27 pm
I am grateful that you have found a ray of hope here. Please write to me anytime.
Sara Davenport says
October 8, 2013 at 3:16 pm
I feel like you wrote this for me … as though you were a fly on the wall at my own house. Thank you.
October 8, 2013 at 4:13 pm
Thank you for sharing. I was in tears reading this. I was a yeller. My boys are in university and high school now. I wish I could go back but I can’t. Thankfully I have a great relation with my boys and I don’t yell anymore. I wish I would have seen something like this earlier. But knowing that I wasn’t alone makes me feel a little better.
Jen Jurden says
October 11, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Wow! This is powerful! Thank you for laying your heart bare for all to see. I observe alot of moms that struggle with this, and I am one of them. I have an older child and then a big gap between her and my younger two. I feel that with the knowledge and experience with my first I can learn from all the mistakes I made with my first and in a way have a second chance with my younger two at being a better mom. However, I feel like I am slipping into this evil, constantly frustrated, impatient mom…something I have worked hard not to be with my younger two since their births 3 and 4 years ago. I know why. Thanks for highlighting what your distractions were. They are mine too, and reading this blog has reminded me to get back to the things that are important and back to the mother that I so desire to be with a legacy of remember a loving home! Even with my oldest who is not living at home any longer. To see the results of your sacrifices…which for me are things I strive for acceptance and affirmation and quite frankly a way of escape (a very selfish endeavor for sure!)….reminds me that I am not alone but then to see the result of your sacrifices and the things that your children have learned from you in your learning to be a better responder to your children is so powerful to hear and see for me personally. I believe The Lord has been whispering to my heart for a few months now to lay aside my selfishness for the sake of my children’s hearts. Now I believe The Lord has used reading this blog to put feet to my thoughts and actions to my desires. Thank you again for writing this. And God bless you!
Steve Medhurst says
January 19, 2014 at 1:49 pm
Thank you for sharing, you may off just saved my relationship with my daughter but more inportantly with my wife. Thank you
January 23, 2014 at 8:25 am
I really am mind blown by how similar your story is with my situation it just scared the living lights out of me and I was thinking that’s something really wrong with me but now reading your story made my eyes water and you can’t image how thankful I am camping across your story.
Thank you ever so much for writing this and make it possible to help others !
Dad of 2 great boys.. And I really will be great dad after reading your story.
January 23, 2014 at 9:31 am
Thank you for telling me, George. It means a great deal to me to know my story touched your life and your boys’ life too.
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
The Hands Free Revolution