My favorite beach activity when I was girl was to rescue live starfish that had washed up on shore. I couldn’t bear to see helpless five-pointed creatures withering in the sun. Regardless of how long it took or how many times I had to bend over, I’d put every washed up starfish back into the water.
Somewhere along the line, I stopped saving starfish.
Actually, I can pinpoint exactly when it happened: My highly distracted years—when to-do lists took over … when the pace of my life was a constant mad dash to a finish line that couldn’t be reached … … when I gripped my devices tighter than the hands of my loved ones … when I said yes to everything requested of me outside the home and said no to the most important tasks inside the home, like playing, laughing, and making memories.
Family beach vacations during those years were no different. If I’d go out for a walk or a run on the beach, I was solely focused on logging miles, a revolving to-do list in my head, or getting back to the hotel to corral the troops for the next thing on the agenda.
I’d become so driven in my daily life that even on vacation I ceased to savor the journey along the way. And this meant walking right by washed up starfish.
I remember the day I noticed a stranded starfish for the first time in many years. I was in the process of waking up from my distracted state and slowly taking steps to reduce the daily distractions consuming my life. This particular beach trip marked my first family vacation since my Hands Free breakdown-breakthrough. I guess you could say What Really Mattered was on my radar.
As I ran along the flat sand, something caught my eye in a tide pool. At first I ran past it, but I just couldn’t keep going; I had to go back. Peering into the stagnant water, I saw a small starfish that was missing a limb. It appeared to be dead, but I felt compelled to wade in and be certain.
Oddly, my inner perfectionist didn’t even balk at the fact I had to get my running shoes wet to reach the creature. With urgency, I reached into the water and pulled it out. I turned the starfish over expecting to see no movement, but amazingly its tiny tube feet waved at me.
I surmised that the poor starfish had been the partial snack of a small predator. Yet despite missing a ray, it was alive—and it was fighting to survive.
“Breathe,” I whispered to the broken starfish. “Breathe.”
It suddenly occurred to me that tears were dripping down my face. I was not really talking to the starfish—I was talking to myself.
Because living a chaotic, overscheduled existence means you become too busy to breath. And I was tired, oh so very tired, of holding my breath.
Rescuing a stranded starfish like I did in the “good old days” stirred a deep desire in me to continue taking more small steps toward the calm, present, and gratitude-filled Hands Free life I wanted to live.
Right then and there it became crystal clear what I didn’t want the rest of my life to feel like. Here are the thoughts that went through my head that day—words that have become my daily prayer, my Hands Free mantra, my vow to breathe:
Vow To Breathe
No longer do I want to feel like I’m always running late.
No longer do I want to feel like I‘ll never catch up.
No longer do I want to feel compelled to rush my children through life.
No longer do I want to feel the brush of a hurried kiss on my husband’s lips.
No longer do I want to feel guilty when I sit down to rest.
No longer do I want to feel depleted and empty.
No longer do I want to feel like each day is a blur.
No longer do I want to feel half alive.
Instead, I vow to breathe.
I vow to look my children in the eyes and step into their world.
I vow to remember what my heart loves to do and then stop making excuses.
I vow to close my eyes in gratitude and open my eyes wide in wonder.
I vow to have face-to-face, soul-to-soul connection with the ones who share my life.
I vow to
read a book.
Dance in the rain.
Say, “Take your time,” and mean it.
I vow to
Give a good kiss.
Leave a surprise note.
Do absolutely nothing every now and then.
I vow to
Rest
Laugh
Play
Wait
Dream
And breathe.
And breathe.
So I can truly live.
It’s been a little over three years since I made this vow. My journey has not been perfect. Sometimes I stumble, but I get back up by reminding myself that the to-do list doesn’t contain the most important tasks of the day. It is my heart that tells me what I need to flourish and thrive—as long as I stop long enough to listen.
I have the power to save a life and so do you.
So pick up starfish.
And vow to breath.
This year really can be different.
*********************************************
Friends, the day is here! My book, Hands Free Mama, goes on sale today! Two years ago, I took the picture below of my younger daughter at the airport bookstore. I taped that picture to my closet wall and wrote: “My dream for 2012 is for my children to be able to see ‘Hands Free Mama' on the bookstore shelf. I am dreaming big, but I might as well—I only live once.”
Today on this 7th day of January 2014, my daughters and I are going to the bookstore. I will probably cry when I see my book on the shelf, and they might too. They know this book was written for them and because of them. Thank you, my supportive Hands Free Revolution community, for believing in my message and spreading it far and wide! Please continue to spread word of the book and if you have a moment to post a review on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or GoodReads, I’d be grateful. Those reviews are pure gold to authors—especially first-time authors like me.
*If you live in or around Birmingham, Indianapolis, Atlanta, or Austin, I would love to see you at my book signings! If the turn out is good, my publisher will consider adding more. My Events page has all the dates and times.
At last! The book is on sale today! Thank you for believing in my message! Please continue to share the joy of living Hands Free!
Oh, Rachel! That is beautiful!!
My mentor, the person who’s been beside me during my own hands free revolution, is always reminding me to take deep breaths. We do forget to breathe and need constant reminders of it…
Thank you for sharing this story.
I vow to breathe today, and every day!
Have a wonderful week, dear friend!
It’s always a pleasure to read your writing; this is a beautiful reminder for mindfulness. I have no doubt I’ve failed to rescue a starfish or ten in recent months because I was holding my breath.
What a beautiful post! I cannot wait to buy your book and start my hands free revolution! Thank you for inspiring women to be free from the constant pressures of society to do more every minute. Blessings to you.
Robin C.
i pre-ordered your book from amazon and it is coming TODAY!!!! so excited– i am in the AHA phase right now– i’m a yeller, a hurry-upper, a filly my time with FB rather than with my kiddos mom… and i am so READY for a change— my word for this year was PURPOSEFUL and i look forward to your book helping me get there. thank you 🙂
All I can say is AMEN! and me, too. Thank you all so much. I do not feel alone.
Wow! It could have been me that wrote this post! I just ordered the book, and paid for express shipping!
I sit here in tears as I read this…I’ve struggled to “breathe” for so long. I look forward to reading your book and also make the vow to breath! Thank you!
Time and time again, each and every post that I read here describes perfectly the chaos is that is my life currently. Your comment about being tired of holding your breath – it hits so close to home right now. I struggle so much on a daily basis with being in a hurry, being overwhelmed, exhausted, no time to slow down until I go to bed, and even then, when my body is still, my mind continues to race. I struggle on a daily basis with the frustration and irritability that comes from having this kind of daily life, and I continue to struggle every minute with the guilt I feel after taking out my frustrations on my kids, who just want to be kids and enjoy their life, which I feel like I am putting a huge damper on. When I’m at work, which is the only time I seem to have any down time, and I have time to think about things, and time to read your blog as well as other similar parenting resources, what I need to do – and what I need to STOP doing – becomes crystal clear to me. So why in the heat of the moment back at home do I have such an inability to employ what I have learned?? I hope I am able to figure it out one day. Until then I will continue to eagerly soak up everything I can in your blog. Thank you for putting yourself out there.
Amen, Christine.
Ditto, Christine. I am not sure if you have seen/read about the Stages of Change Model (originally explained by Prochaska & DiClemente in 1983). I found that it can be so overwhelming trying to change “everything” that breaking it down into tiny steps and reflecting on where I am in the cycle of change (Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Relapse, Maintenance) can be helpful. I wish you well on your journey.
I am so excited that my book is “out for delivery” from my UPS man! I preordered it from Amazon and it is arriving today. I am so excited to laugh and cry as your words always resonate so deeply within me. Thank you for sharing your story!
Oh, this is *lovely*! Thank you SO much for sharing this with us. As a mom of five, grandmother to 1+, I wish with all my heart that I had had this same epiphany when my older children were small. I missed a lot by pushing so hard to “get things done”. Keep preaching it so others won’t make the same mistakes that I did.
Yay! My book should be coming soon from amazon! Wonderful poem. My favorite part of the post? The picture of you and your girls in the water. My face lit up and I felt joy. Beautiful picture! Enjoy this amazing day with your family–yahoo!!!!!
Rachel, I was sooooo excited when I received a text form Amazon yesterday letting me know that your book is on it’s way to my home! While part of me CAN NOT wait to read it, the other part of me is a little nervous and afraid of what the book is going to make me realize about myself and the changes I need to make for myself and my family.
Thank you for sharing your story with the world. It’s helpful to know that there are more people out there sharing in the same experiences and feelings I have/am experiencing. You inspire me to want to be a better mother and to take the steps to becoming a better person overall.
Thank you!!! Thank you!!! As I read your posts, especially about this book, I say “THIS IS ME!!!!!!” I feel like I am walking in your shoes to a T! All of these areas such as being in a hurry, not being able to relax without guilt, stopping and ENJOYING my children, enjoying life in general without the constant ‘to do’ list running through my head, it’s all so me!!!! I am PRAYING hard for freedom from this! I don’t want to be driven I want to LIVE!!!!
First off, good luck with the book.
Secondly, just seeing the beach and sand made me feel warmer on a cold day. Thanks for that.
I enjoyed the poem. On a related note, one of my students said why do you always walk so fast. I told him I like to and it’s just me. While this is true, I also feel rushed = gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, go, go. Walking with my 7 year – old, I actually practically have to pull him. Faster.
Congrats on fulfilling your dream Rachel. I’m sure this day is so very sweet for you. Enjoy it.!
Thank you for your courage – for your willingness to say the things that so many of us are ashamed to admit out loud. Thank you for helping those of us who desperately want to change to see that we are not alone, to see that there is hope, to see that real change is possible, to see that we can save a life – our own and our precious babies’ lives. Thank you, Rachel.
Congratulations on realizing your dream and helping so many people in the process! Myself included. Living life with a slowpoke, do everything “myself” 3 year old, I have to remind myself daily to let him take his time and to slow down and enjoy life as much as he is. I know lots of people in Seattle who would love to see you! Fingers crossed! 🙂
Congratulations on this great achievement Rachel! You are an inspiration to us all!
congratulations! when I preordered months ago, January 7th felt so long ago…today I cannot wait to get home for my delivery from amazon…I know that your book will, as your weekly posts have, continue to guide my dream of being more present for the husband and little people I love more than life itself. only love…
Congratulations! I look forward to reading your dream come true : )
Thank you, Lisa, & everyone who took time to write such sweet congratulatory words! This journey is so rewarding & fulfilling because I share it with all of you.
The other night i was rushing my 3 year old to wash his hands and hurry to get in bed. I couldnt help but think ‘how long does it take this kid to wash his hands! Its crazy!’ Then i heard a voice in my head tell me ‘whats the rush?? Whats the big deal if he wants to play with the bubbles? ‘. So i put my head right beside his and instead of seeing an adults view from above of water spraying everywhere, i got my sons view, right up close of bubbles splashing. Bubbles sticking inbetween his fingers. The water changing colors with the soap. And it made me feel young and happy and joyful. Now i put my head beside his everynight to watch in wonder with him. Thanks to you!!! My life is more full of joy thanks to you.
That is beautiful, Christie. Thank you for sharing that! It made me feel happy too.
I got my shipping confirmation and my copy is on its way!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT!!!! You have started changing my life in ways that you will never know…I am so grateful for you!!
Loved this post. Congrats on the book release- I’m super excited to read it!!
Thank you so much for writing this. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I am reading this weary and half asleep with an ice pack pressed against my lower back from incessant pain and not having the time to just stop, be, rest. It’s go, go, go all the time that I fear if I stop I’ll forget something, drop the ball somewhere and mess up. I too just want to be, to enjoy the time I have with my 2-year old after day care without rushing through dinner, bath time and bed time. I sleep next to her just to be close to her because that’s the only time I get. My heart is heavy with guilt and scared of losing out on more precious moments. I too can’t wait to get a copy of your book. Thank you for taking us with you on this journey.
Happy Book Day Rachel! Congratulations! Your posts truly help keep me grounded in the life I want for my family and myself. Thank you so much. Your words are a gift to all who read them. Many blessings upon you and yours.
Beautiful! And amazing vow! Must hang on my desk!
Your book is now on my kindle! Hooray!
Your book downloaded to my Kindle last night, and I vow to MAKE TIME to read it! And I love your mantra about breathing. I am guilty of all of those things. Thank you for making me look in the mirror on a daily basis. My goal for 2014 is not to lose weight (like it has been EVERY year-unsuccessfully), but to SLOW DOWN and not hurry my children through life. I am quite sure this is a resolution I can keep. Thank you for sharing your life and helping all of us hurried/frantic mothers out there. Bless you!.
Just got my Amazon shipping notification! Can’t wait to read your book. Congratulations and THANK YOU. You have helped steer me into becoming the mom I want to be. <3
I am so excited for you! Your blog is changing my life and hopefully the lives of my children and husband too! Almost everything I read resonates with how I am feeling about my life. I pre-ordered your book from Amazon so hopefully I will be getting it soon and I cannot wait to start reading it to learn even more. Congratulations and please keep blogging! 🙂
Congratulations on the debut of your book, which I am recommending to all my younger friends who are still parenting young children. Nothing can undo the mistakes I made as a single parent of a very difficult child (now 25 and newly married) but I plan to buy a copy to give to her when she begins having children, with a note of apology for my shortcomings, for all the yelling, and a suggestion to do it your way, instead. I read every post of yours and most bring me to tears. Thank you for sharing these important thoughts and your journey with us!
Your post reminded me to look in the mail and there was my book! Congratulations. Thank you for helping so many by following your heart and passions.
Congrats on the book – I will be downloading it today! What I really want in the short term though, is the “Only Love Today” bracelet someone suggested in the “Bully to close to home” post you had. I NEED that desperately. I am the bully – not only to my 3 year old but also to my husband and they just can’t take it any longer. I plan to read the book, but I’m sure I will need that visual reminder on my wrist. Thank you so much for your writings, like the Starfish – I am one you have helped live.
Hi Wendy, the ONLY LOVE TODAY bracelets are expected to be ready by the end of the week. My sister-in-law can send you an email when they are ready. Send your request to: stacie@handsfreemama.com
Thank you for the beautiful message at the end about the starfish. That brings such peace to my heart.
Congratulations on the book launch Rachel. I wish you every success. You’ve certainly changed the way I think.
Anne @ Domesblissity
Can I get your permission to use your words vow to breathe on a scrapbook page? Thanks so much for writing this!
~God bless~
Yes, Janet. Thank you for asking me.
Hello…I just purchased the audiobooks so I can listen in the car…yay!
I bought one and can’t wait for it to show up! Congrats!
I cannot wait for my copy to arrive….though {achem} there is some irony that I feel a sense of anxiety when Amazon says 1-3 weeks, since we’re so used to instant gratification in our wired lives!!
I’m stockpiling my tea, and clearing my schedule, so I can just delve into this book when it does happily appear in my mailbox!!
Thank you for taking the time to share your journey, honesty and encouragement with those of us who *know* maybe something should– or has to– give, but haven’t yet seen the path…
Hi Rachel, your book was delivered to my Kindle today! It was very exciting to be able to ‘turn’ the pages. I am looking forward to all that your guiding, healing words will hold. Congratulations, to you and your family. YOU are making a difference.
My life sounds like it is now, where yours was three years ago. Of course, we all go through something at one point or another. As I though about ordering your book, I wondered if it was available in audio. Basically because I would be multitasking once again. I am going to have to wait and find some time so that I can sit down and just read. Thank you for being able to put your thoughts into words. We probably all need to hear them!
Congratulations! I so thrilled for you I hope you realize how many women’s lives you have touched! We are not alone and I feel so blessed that you are with us on this journey. I am always moved and cry every time I read your posts. I am constantly working on being a better mommy, wife. When I try to rush them, or feel like I’m getting frustrated. I think TTT treasure this time. Xoxox Heidi i
Soooo glad I preordered mine! Got an email last night that it should arrive today…so excited! Thank you for all you do.
Good luck with the book Rachel. I don’t live in or around Austin (I’m in the UK), I live with Austin – he’s my almost 4 year old. I’ve just started following your blog, and I’m trying to follow your advice, for him and his 2 year old brother. They deserve more than I’ve been giving them. And so do I. Breathe.
I’ve ordered your book, but I have to wait a while for it to be delivered to the UK! Looking forward to it though.
Thank you for your wise words.
Thankyou, just thankyou. 🙂
Hello! I can’t begin to tell you the impression you have made on my life. I am by no means even close to where you are but I strive to be. I have been reading your blogs and I can’t believe how you capture ME in your writings…thank you for the beautiful yet sometimes painful posts-only painful because of myse lf.
First – Congratulations on your book! Can’t wait to read it!
Second – I feel like you write this stuff just for me…it all hits home like a ton of bricks!
Third – In regards to today’s post, well…..maybe you are writing this all just for me. About a week ago, I started saying to myself “Just breathe” as I seem to be rushing through so much these days that I practically find myself holding my breath just trying to get to the next thing. So I will carry with me your post from today (as I do many) and will hopefully……breath a little more!
Lastly – Thank you so much for your words of wisdom….I am no where near being the mother/wife that I want to be…..but I am so greatful for your posts as they have me at least thinking and slowing down a teeny, tiny bit….I’m still working on it! God bless you!!!
I’m going more slowly through the book than I thought I would. I find I must really digest it. I like the idea of taking the year to reflect. I’m on Chapter 3, and even though I’m pretty connected, I saw many ways to improve the peace at home (especially by paying attention to Greg!). More looking in the eyes, just a little more saying yes to letting an empty day get derailed by games and activities…just a little more was enough. Thank you so much for sharing this dream! It’s a game-changer for so many!
Congratulations! I only aspire to be as “in the moment” as you. I’m hoping your book can help me do that. I have 3 beautiful young daughters of my own and a loving, caring husband- I want to live and love them every second of every day without worry, guilt and the rush of our day to day. Thank you for making me stop- breath- and live love.
-Linda L
Your words inspire me….
Thank you for saying what needs to be said.
Hi there, thank you for that lovely poem! Please may I share it with my parenting page fans by posting it on http://www.facebook.com/ConsciousParentingApproach? I invite you and your fans to come say Hello to us!!
My book shipped today! I’m so excited to get it in my hands 🙂
I have only read the first few pages (and would have continued reading non-stop, however my daughter needed me, so I had to put it down ;), but I can tell this is a book that I will be taking to heart. Your timing is impeccable – this book is *exactly* what I need in my life right now! Thank you so much for baring your soul in your work and sharing this with us. Looking forward to the journey!
Wow.This is incredible feedback, Mary! I feel overjoyed by your words. XO
Love every word of the book so far! You give voice to my internal struggles, hopes, wishes, fears, sorrows, shame, and longing for who I want to be as a parent and human! Thank you!
I live in Australia and CAN NOT WAIT to receive my book I ordered last week. Congratulations on your blogs – they keep me going in between and are a constant reminder to breathe and focus on the important family that surrounds me when I go off the rails xx
Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I stumbled upon your blog not too long ago, and I am so glad I did. Your words are so inspiring. I have 3 young children and a long to do list. I would love love love to apply the words of wisdom in this poem, but if I did this everyday my house would look like a health and welfare case. I firmly believe that there is a balance. How have you found that balance in your life?
I love your posts, balm to my heart and soul – and I love that there´s going to be an unabridged AUDIO version of your book, too!!!
Sending Love from the other side of the big pond :o)
– Anka
Beautiful post (and photo!). Jenn Read introduced me to your blog (our daughters are friends) and I plan to attend your book signing in Indianapolis. I too am a writer with a dream of publishing a book so I love to see other writers reaching their dreams. Congrats! 🙂
This brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t expect to be brought to blubbering and inspiration this early today but you have touched me! Congrats and many, many blessings on your book and continued hands free crusade!! Ill be printing out your mantra for myself…..I’m a new fan!!
Refreshing thoughts for the new year ahead. Congratulations on making your book dream come true! I look forward to picking it up.
I just purchased the Kindle version of your book today and can’t wait to start reading! I read the article on the huffing post website about yelling, which is how I found you, and I’m am truly happy that I did! I am a full time working mom of 3 children- that I yell at frequently, I’m always short with, and don’t have time for. I hate it…
Every post I have read on here so far has brought tears to my eyes. Vow to Breathe. Wow. Awesome. You are an inspiration. Thank you for all that you do. 🙂
Just wanted to say that my son came in our room while I was busy getting ready for work this morning. He asked if I would get in bed with him for a minute. My first thought was “I don’t have time” but then I saw his cute little 4 year old face and thought “how can I not have time for this?” It was a sweet, cuddly moment – probably set the tone for the day. This shift in thinking was prompted by your writing! THANKS!
Your post is like a friend to me… I always feel very relaxed and of course inspired after reading your blogs. Thank you for reminding most important things….
Love your blogs.
Congratulations on the book! How exciting! I can completely relate to ‘just breathe.’ I keep this in my head from a song by Anna Nalick called Breathe
“And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.”
Hugs!!
Rachel, I came across you through an introduction by Bill Peebles (I Hope I Win A Toaster), a blogging buddy. He’s got a lot of nice things to say about you, your book, and being “Hands Free.”
And “breathing” is great advice, on so many levels. My wife and I recently moved to a tiny town in the mountains north of L.A., to get away from the go-go-go busy commercial smörgåsbord of Orange County. It’s not an easy place to find work, and we don’t make much money, but we make enough. And in the meantime, we go on a lot of hikes, play at the town’s single playground, visit the small local library, and basically just try to enjoy time together, with nary a mall or Chuck E. Cheese in sight.
Glad to have found you! And cool you’re from Alabama – that’s where I grew up!
I am reminded of The Starfish Story.
http://www.esc16.net/users/0020/FACES/Starfish%20Story.pdf
And thank you for your wisdom and insight. You matter to me.
Just hit the “buy” button at Amazon…can’t wait to get my copy of your book!
I find you to be an outrageous hypocrite. For someone who is “hands free”, you are all over social networks. I wish that people like you would stop using your self serving insights to make others feel bad about themselves. But I see that you have a book coming out, so we’ll played on your grand marketing scheme. I wish there was a way that I could block your blog from ever appearing on my Facebook page.
WOW a little negative are we? I guess you never heard of the stop following on FB. Every FB post has a little down arrow where you can ignore posts. Stop blaming others for your lack of knowledge.
I have my book, it arrived in the mail today and the timing is wonderful! I proudly wear my hands free bracelet everyday. I can not wait to read this book! Thank you Rachel and congratulations! 🙂
Congratulations on making your dream come true. And you accomplished this admirable task while taking time to breathe. A true accomplishment indeed. I appreciate you sharing your story and I am inspired by everything of yours I read.
Heard about your book via Ali Edwards and pre-ordered it through my local, independent bookstore. Was THRILLED when they notified me that it was in. Picked it up on Saturday and have LOVED everything that I’ve read so far. Tonight, while my husband and two little boys sat together at our computer playing games on PBS kids websites, I enjoyed a bubble bath while reading your book. Each time that I glanced up from the book, it was nice to WITNESS their interaction and to HEAR all of their excitement. Being a stay-at-home mom, I get to experience these things anytime, while (my husband works a ba-zillion hours so that I can stay home with them) he’s the one that misses out on so many little details in life.) Congratulations on your book. LOVING IT!!!
This one hit close to home today. They all hit close to home, but this one especially. I have been trying my best to live hands free, however I haven’t even had time or energy to sit down and continue reading your book since I bought it on the 7th. I have been feeling a bit under the weather today, and my husband told me when I got home from work that my job was to “be lazy”. While that sounded great, for the past two hours, all I have been thinking about is stuff that needs to be done at home. Then I remembered you had posted a new blog post today, so the last few minutes here at work I decided to go read it. Read it, loved it. Then I read this one. I needed to read this one, today. So now, I am about to head home from work, crawl in my bed, and continue to read your book! And I don’t feel guilty about planning to do absolutely nothing.
Thank for being open & real, Stephanie. I think many of us can relate to the feelings you describe. I hope you were able to rest & read tonight. There are several chapters that address exactly what you are talking about here. Much love to you.
Just ordered my book and I can’t wait! Your emails help remind me (so sad that I need to be reminded?!) what is really important. I know in 2014 I need to truly become more hands free when my own mother (just like yours) told me I was too hard on my oldest son. Time for change for sure!
Rachel, I have never met you, yet I know you-I am you! Everything you write, I say, “That is exactly what I am thinking!” But I am not smart enough to put it into words like you do! Thank you from the bottom of my soul for what you write. A forever fan and reader….
This is beautiful! Your messages are always so timely for me…I cherish this! Thank you for sharing and yes I’m vowing to breathe 🙂
I don’t understand why after abusing your child for years you should be rewarded by book sales- wouldn’t that be rewarding your bad behavior. I would have more respect for you if you donate the proceeds to a abused children.
Kathryn