“We'll never be as young as we are now
The faces in the crowd are thinning out
And I'm not saying stick around, but stick around
And we may never have another like today, tomorrow is brand new start away
And we'll never be as young as we are now, as we are now.”
–Saint Raymond, As We Are Now
2015 ended with a few words I thought I’d never hear:
“Well, there’s no need to make another appointment today. Hopefully, I won’t see you for a long time.”
I was standing in my doctor’s office when I heard those glorious words. My doctor worked closely with my urologist (one floor down) and my gynecologist (across the street). They all agreed that with my internal pain slowly subsiding, my elevated blood pressure back to normal, and having pristine blood work and kidney ultrasound results, I was free to go on with my life.
It wasn’t until I pushed the elevator button—the one I pushed with shaky hands over and over throughout the past year—that I was overcome with emotion.
“I won’t be back here for a long, long time,” I whispered, both as a promise and a prayer.
I would never be able to un-see what I saw at my impressive collection of hospital stays, CT scans, and medical appointments over the past year. But what I saw at the cardiovascular institute for my recent kidney ultrasound offered the greatest motivation to care for this precious body God gave me.
A long, healthy life doesn't happen “by accident,” and I knew some of my poor habits would catch up with me eventually. Although I am a daily exerciser and healthy eater, I still had two problem areas that could greatly harm my health. I still hadn’t kicked my on-going Coke Zero addiction and often sacrificed sleep to get work completed.
“It’s time,” I said out loud, knowing the new year was an ideal time to ditch old habits and begin new ones.
“But … but … but …” my inner Taskmaster quickly piped up making a clear argument for keeping Coke Zero and late nights in the picture. And it was a good one: I had an entire book to write.
The manuscript for my third book is due to my publisher on March 1st. Due to the resurgence of health issues in November and December, I was not able to begin writing the manuscript as planned. This left me with the challenge of writing 70,000 words in eight weeks. Even for the most proficient writer, that is quite an undertaking.
“That’ll take a lot of Coke Zero and many late nights,” my inner Taskmaster said smugly.
“No, no, no, no, no,” my Self-Care Advocate piped up. She was new. I hadn’t really needed her until my on-going pain could no longer be ignored. She asserted herself to puzzled medical specialists who suggested I might have to “live with it”. I also heard her voice when I needed stern reminders to take care of myself so I can be here to nurture and guide my daughters as they grow.
Because it was not yet January 1st when I had this little talk with myself, I promised to think about it. Although it seems like a no brainer, sometimes productivity and perfection overpower self-care and common sense in my Type A brain. But this time, I promised myself I would consider giving up soda and late nights despite the writing challenge ahead.
On January 1st, I did what I always do before I begin writing a book. I created a Writing Calendar. Although writing is my passion, the thought of “writing a book” causes stress, doubt, anxiety, and feelings of overwhelm. Drafting a 70,000-word manuscript requires great discipline, focus, and stamina. And because I know from past experience how hard this process is for me, it makes getting started very difficult. So on January 1st, I did what I did for Hands Free Mama and Hands Free Life – I broke down the parts of my book into small, achievable chunks and wrote one chunk inside each box of my blank calendar. Eventually, those small chunks would add up to a completed goal—a finished book on March 1!
Banjo & Writing Calendar for HANDS FREE MAMA
Writing Calendar & book notes for HANDS FREE LIFE
The task for January 1st on my new Writing Calendar immediately stared at me. It said: “Book intro”. Of course, the book intro is the hardest part for me. I took a deep breath. “Time to start writing,” I said to myself.
“And crack open an ice, cold can of pure energy,” added my inner Taskmaster.
I ignored the temptation and instead reported to my family there would be no more Coke Zeros for me except on special occasions. My daughters actually got up and hugged me. Their relief and excitement was exactly the motivation I needed. I filled a pitcher with water and sliced lemons. I decided to keep track of my water consumption on a sticky note. The filled note at the end of the day would bring a feeling of triumph and fuel me forward.
My head began to hurt from the lack of caffeine, but I knew it would only be temporary. I was looking forward to being less tired and having glowing skin, among countless other health benefits attributed to increased water consumption.
Later that night, I came across an article entitled, “50 Ways Happier, Healthier, and More Successful People Live on Their Own Terms”. The title intrigued me (or maybe it was the photo of Bradley Cooper) so I began to read it. The first recommendation on the list was was “stop consuming caffeine”. It said:
“Although people think they perform better on caffeine, the truth is, they really don’t …With healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise, your body will naturally produce far more and better energy than caffeine could ever provide. Give it up and see what happens. You will probably get withdrawal headaches. But after a few days, you’ll feel amazing.”
I actually looked over my shoulder. Someone was definitely trying to tell me something.
I kept reading. Soon, I got to #14: “Get 7+ hours a sleep a night.” The article linked healthy amounts of sleep to:
- Longer life
- Decreased inflammation
- Increased creativity
- Increased attention and focus
- Decreased fat and increased muscle mass with exercise
- Lower stress
- Decreased dependence on stimulants like caffeine
- Decreased risk of getting into accidents
- Decreased risk of depression
Again, I had an overwhelming sense these words were written for me; they provided a solid base on which I could create more positive habits. By the time I got to #32: “drink 32-100 ounces of water a day,” I knew coming across this article was no coincidence. Whether used individually or as a collection, I felt certain these 50 recommendations were the building blocks of an improved, longer life. Hadn’t that been my promise and prayer? To care for my body and organs so they would last for a very long time. This required me to care for my body daily—not just when it was convenient or easy, but especially when life was challenging and stressful.
I knew exactly what I must do.
I printed out another blank calendar for the month of January and February just like I did for my book. I had a Writing Calendar and now I would also have a Living Calendar—each block would contain a few daily goals from the list of 50 that, over time, would add up to improved health, improved example setting for my daughters, and an improved way of life.
Since I’d already begun decreasing my caffeine intake and adding more water, I decided to adopt the water goal. I also needed the sleep goal. I wrote those three goals in my calendar boxes for 21 days, marking each one with a smiley face upon successful completion.
So far so good. I successfully consumed only four Coke Zeros over the past 21 days and had only one night with less than seven hours of sleep. For me, this was good—this was very good. A year ago I wouldn’t have even imagined writing a book without an IV of Coke Zero and perpetual all-nighters.
After 21 days I had the water goal down pat so I went back to the list and picked a new goal to add. Grasping joy is always important to me and harder to do when I am under a lot of stress. So I wrote down #12 from the list: “Do something kind for someone daily.” To me, offering kindness brings joy.
As fate would have it, I was quickly tested.
“Mom what was my first word when I was a baby?” my younger daughter said as we drove home from swim team practice.
I knew her sister’s first word, but I could not think of hers. “We will have to check your baby book sometime,” I said secretly hoping she would forget about it. I honestly didn’t even know if I had written it down.
“When we get home?” she asked.
I really didn’t want to—there was a lot to do—dinner, homework, bedtime, and book writing. But then I thought about my Living Calendar. Do one thing kind day. This would surely count as a couple days worth of kindness, I decided. “Okay,” I agreed and received a cheer of joy from the backseat in response.
Upon arrival, I immediately went to the family room cabinet. Buried beneath old photo albums was what my daughter was looking for. But instead of feeling relieved that I’d located it, my heart sank. I’d called it a baby book, but it was it was simply a calendar with one detail about the day documented in each box. It had been a rough year to say the least. Going from one to two children was a difficult adjustment for me—especially since Avery had raging colic for five solid months. To make matters worse, we moved to a new state, taking me away from my supportive parents and friends. My husband had to travel during the week. I was homesick, lonely, and depressed. Maintaining a baby book seemed overwhelming and impossible. I’d gone into the Hallmark store and cried with joy when I saw “Baby’s First Year Calendar.” Even on the hardest days, I was able to document one notable detail about this precious baby girl.
And now, nine years later, I was so thankful I did.
“Oh good! You found it,” my daughter exclaimed while patting the seat next to her. If she was disappointed by the flimsy excuse for a baby book, she sure didn’t show it. My child’s face held the look of pure joy, as if about to open a long-awaited gift.
I began reading my notes scribbled in tired handwriting inside each calendar box. Some details I’d forgotten. Other details triggered additional memories that I was delighted to share.
My daughter soaked up every morsel of information about her baby self. She laughed at some of the discoveries and said “awwww” at others. When we got to the square that contained her first word, “Dada,” we both laughed. That was her sister’s first word too.
“No fair!” I said. “I should have at least gotten ‘Mama’ from at least one of you!” I teased.
That’s when my girl wrapped her arms around me and said, “I love you, Mama! You took such good care of me. This is the best book ever!”
After she got up, I hugged that Living Calendar to my chest and felt an overwhelming sense of relief and hope for me and for you. Even in the most difficult periods, even when we face great obstacles, we can still do something good for our bodies, our beloved people, and our futures. And just one small effort each day can add up to something glorious.
To that tired, depressed mama dutifully caring for her precious ones …
To that weary book writer praying the words will flow …
To that feisty survivor wondering what the pain level will be today …
To that broken-hearted believer searching for answers and a little hope …
To the gray-haired dreamer not quite ready to give up on the dream …
To that fearful protector facing another battle on this bitter, cold day …
To that perpetual worrier wringing her hands over the state of things …
Just because you are in the midst of challenge doesn’t mean you can’t keep moving forward …
Tiny steps count.
Just because you face a giant obstacle doesn’t mean you should let it get in the way of living …
Small actions make a difference.
Just because you’re not out of the woods doesn’t mean you should stopping looking for the sun …
Miniscule efforts light the path.
Today offers one empty box in the Calendar of Life. Use it to do one good thing for your body, heart, mind, or soul despite its inconvenience at a time like this.
Then do it again tomorrow … and the day after that … and the day after that.
Someday, maybe nine days … nine months … or nine years from now, those small daily actions will be enough to fill an entire book.
And the title will be: I Didn’t Just Survive—I Lived.
One empty box. One positive action. Let the living begin.
**************************************
Friends of The Hands Free Revolution, thank you for taking your precious time to read the longest blog post I have ever written. Writing this post took more time and energy than I planned, but if I have learned anything from my on-going health issues it is this: leave nothing unsaid. When there’s a message on your heart, share it. I know I am not alone when I say taking care of myself does not come naturally. But I received the wake up call of a lifetime this past year, and now I feel compelled to talk about the importance of taking care of YOU. If this post inspires even one person to drink more water, sleep longer, visit the doctor, or sit down and rest once in awhile, I will be so happy. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to write these words, as well as my third book. I am trying not to take these glorious pain-free days for granted and use them for good.
I also need to tell you that you are the reason my third book is coming to fruition. Over the years, many of you have said how much you would love a book of daily inspirations to set your day in a positive direction or end your night on a peaceful note. My book proposal was accepted by my publisher and the book is coming to life in ways I never imagined. Your book is called ONLY LOVE TODAY, and it hits bookstores a little over a year from now. (Book publishing is a LONG process). I cannot wait to present ONLY LOVE TODAY to you! What a blessing it is to be the messenger for the important and hopeful truths contained in this book. What a blessing it is to walk beside you. Your prayers and words of loving supportive were instrumental to my recovery and optimism.
Friends, this is my birthday week so things will be quiet on the Hands Free Revolution community page as I practice a little extra self-care and do some celebrating. Indiana friends, I cannot wait to see you on Saturday, 1/30/16 at 2:30pm at the Indy Women’s Expo! Click here for all the information.
Hands Free Life is back in stock on Amazon! Thank you for showing my publisher how much you value and cherish my work through your purchases of my books! My family & I are so thankful for each & every one of you.
And lastly, if anyone is still interested in joining A Simple Year, 12 months of guided simplicity with me & eight other simplicity authors, it's not too late! Registration will be open through the end of January. Learn more here.
You inspire me every time I read your words, because your true heart is in every word. There is so little authenticity left out there, so thanks for being a little flickering light in the darkness.
Thank you, Susan, for this incredible compliment. I am so touched.
Rachel I’m here jumping for joy! Hooray hooray hooray. I’m so happy to hear that you got a clean bill of health. AND I’m so glad you made a calendar for living. What a brilliant idea. Yes to living! May I add that you add daily renewal time to your water, sleep list. I think we so often forget how needed that is. Even if it’s sitting for five minutes in the sunny spot in your apartment (that’s my favorite thing…).
You wrote the exact words I needed to hear today. I am thankful that you took the time to write this post. Have a very happy Birthday. Hope it’s filled with all the people and things that bring you the most joy!
Rachel,
I’m a Coke Zero addict too. How apt that I read your post today because it will be my 1st day without a Coke Zero in a long, long time.
I’ve done it once before, but somehow got suckered back in! This time, I am determined. One day at a time. If I slip a little bit, I won’t let it set me back.
Thank you for your beautiful words this morning! They inspire me and give me hope!
Jill
I’m actually surprised that none of your doctors suggested that your kidney and other issues had to do with the cola consumption ( or maybe they never asked). I hope you find yourself feeling better and better! The caffeine withdrawal is gone after a short while–take you daughter up on one of her lovingly made cups of tea while you’re writing. With the combo of more sleep and no caffeine + more water, you will find you have much better energy and your gut can heal itself from the cola acid damage. I’m looking forward to the new book!
I’m so glad I found your blog when I did. My daughter is 7 months old and your posts always remind me to slow down and appreciate every moment. It’s so easy to forget that sometimes.
I am enjoying the diversity that your blog has taken in the past few months. While I always appreciate the guidance in my parenting life, it is so wonderful to have your words in my head regarding other areas of my life. Because I also endured major amounts of pain last year I have also set a few goals for “taking care of ME” in 2016. I am grateful to have your wisdom and guidance in my life. I am so looking forward to ONLY LOVE TODAY, thank you for writing finally writing a daily motivational!
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Jenny
Thanks so very much for writing this and sharing your life with us(me). I have been struggling with health issues since the birth of my daughter almost 5 yrs ago. Just had a hysterectomy on the 5th and am trying to get to a much healthier me. Unfortunately I never did a book for her(I barely did for my oldest), but thanks to social media I have an electronic memory book 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement today. I will be praying for you, your healthy changes and your book!! God bless you!!
I have been following your blog for over a year now and every single thing you’ve ever written has really resonated with me but this is my first time leaving a comment. Everything from the driven, task oriented personality to the child who needs a little extra help finding her rhythm echos true in my own reality. I’ve been trying to give up an addiction to Diet Pepsi for years but like you it drives me, especially when 7 hours of sleep is still not possible with 9 month old twins. We are now embarking on a journey to downsize our home and start our own business in order to stay out of the rat race and your reminders to value work-life balance will continue to inspire and move me.
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for giving me hope that I can change.
I am so grateful to know this post resonated with you. I wish you strength, clarity, and patience as you embark on this new journey while taking care of you. Please keep us posted.
Oh Rachel, thank you. Thank you. I can’t tell you how often your words encourage and nurture my heart. I’m slowly changing. Yes, yes, yes. One step at a time, one breath at a time. Time for me to put my phone down (which I still pick up far more than I’d like), drink some water, and take my boys on a walk to the grocery store. You are in my prayers, as you listen, love, and write. Breath by breath, one step at a time. I will keep praying for you between now and March 1st. Blessings, dear one.
I cherish your message today and feel blessed by your prayers. Thank you, friend.
As a night nurse who had 5 children, I lived my life on little sleep and a fair amount of coffee and diet sodas. I have been retired for just over a year now and I still find myself sacrificing sleep to fit more accomplishments into my days. I no longer need caffeine or soda to fuel me because I now enjoy outdoor activities which energize me. I am inspired by your post to make my own calendar to track my water, sleep and fitness goals. If you can write a 70,000 word manuscript while taking good care of yourself and your loved ones, I believe I can take the tiny steps to live well, also. I read your posts each day and often share them. This post, however, has really motivated me to take better care of me. Thank you.
“This post has really motivated me to take better care of me.”
Cindy, this was my prayer for this post. Thank you for letting me know it was answered. And thank you for your contribution to the world as a night nurse. The night nurses who cared for me while I was in the hospital in July were angels. I had a hard time saying goodbye to them when it was time for me to leave. I am so glad you are going to invest in YOU after all you have invested in others. Bless you, dear lady.
Nine years and you’ve only just begun. Wonderful stories of God’s gracious recovery plans (individualized and implemented without question) and a lil’ Heaven-on-Earth. Since my incident 20 years ago, He has taken me around the world, to China for four times, and I’m just resting now with the Peace Corps in Macedonia. At 75 years of age, am I the oldest, current serving volunteer, dunno?? God’s richest blessings to continue for you and yours. glenn klein
Ironic that for your birthday, you have given ME a present! This post speaks so directly to issues I’ve been struggling with in the past month. My drug of choice is Dr. Pepper, and self-care has become a foreign concept to me this past year, as I cared for my 90 year old mother, my daughter and her new baby but not much at all for myself. The damage has caught up with me – a cervical spine injury from lifting my mother, combined with the world’s worst case of bronchitis created the perfect storm. The side effects of medications have been overwhelming, and my stomach can’t tolerate any carbonated drinks or artificial sweeteners. The inability to do anything physical for the first time in my life is humbling and terrifying. Thank you for these wonderful words, which feel like a compass to me, as I seek to restructure my life and my health so that I can return to doing all the things people need me to do. I am printing this to read over and over, and I am hopeful that I will find my way through this difficult season of my life.
My friend, you have made great sacrifices in the name of supporting the ones you love. I truly admire you for that. But today I celebrate this momentous day as the day you care for yourself as you do your beloved people. They need you here. We need you here. Cheering you on as you take your first step toward a long & healthy life.
Thank you Rachel for yet another inspiring blog post! I join with your many cyber friends in being thrilled for you that your health is improved! I am very excited for your third book as well! This post really struck home with me. I have a friend who was consumed by the stress in her life. She was practically raising two grandchildren, taking care of her aging mother, and consistently driving three hours to see her son who was in jail. When I would talk with her I could tell that she was constantly worrying about her family and never thought that she was doing enough. Nothing brought her peace. One afternoon another friend and I sat with her and she confessed that she had been having serious health issues for eight months. She thought they were heart issues. We begged, pleaded for her to go see a doctor. She said that she was scared to go because it might be something big and she was worried about the money. The leaders of our church said they would pay for the visit. My other friend and I offered to go with her, do anything we could to help her in order for her to go. She kept putting us off. Two weeks later I was woken up with a phone call saying there was an ambulance outside of my friend’s house. An aneurysm inside her brain had burst. When it happened she was in the bathroom and she fell and hit her head. That was two years ago this Sunday. One of the hardest days of my life. Today my friend is in the Alzheimer ward at a care facility. We go see her every month. She knows we love her but has a hard time with our names. Some days are good days. Other days as we talk to her it is clear that in her mind she is in the past, reliving all the stress and worry yet again. She is 62 years old. I am grateful for the knowledge that God loves us and that he knows where she is and is trying to help her. I echo your plea to people to take care of themselves. If you feel something is wrong, ask for help, go see a doctor. I don’t know for certain if there was anything a doctor could have done to prevent this tragedy from happening to my friend, but that “What if?” is something all those who love her will deal with for the rest of our lives. Thank you again for your post. I am always a better person after I read your blog!
Thank you, Beth, for taking time to share this absolutely critical message. This is a wake-up call of the most powerful kind. My heart breaks for your friend and also for you. Thank you for loving her through it all. If you don’t mind, I am going to add your comment to the comments on The Hands Free Revolution FB page so there will be thousands of more eyes opened through your friend’s story.
Thanks for writing this post. Despite not having children, I love your FB page and this really resonated with me today. In the last 7-8 years, I have made myself extremely ill (physically and emotionally) through pushing myself too hard, and the taskmaster still hasn’t stopped – even through 3 years of therapy. Although I know all this stuff, somehow reading it today was perfect, so thank you for taking the time to write it, and keep up your good work!
I am that “broken-hearted believer searching for answers and a little hope.” Fortunately, I found both here today. Life has been so overwhelming for me, good-bad-happy-sad overwhelming, and burdensome. Thanks for somehow reaching me through the chaos and busyness and reminding me that hope is simple, love is simple, tiny steps are simple. God’s Peace to you Rachel.
Holding your hand from afar, dear Bill. I hope you feel a little less alone, a little less hopeless knowing how much I care. May the light peek out today and cover you.
I needed this. Today is my annual physical with my doctor. I’m planning on telling her a couple of my personal issues that I usually avoid. One thing I’ve begun doing since writing a blog and going to poetry groups is being honest with myself—opening up with others. I hope it goes well today.
Really? That was your longest post? It felt like a handful of sentences…honestly, your writing is so good, I could eat it. Thank you for the reminder…just one positive action is enough. I am being challenged at the moment, having treatment that is making me feel worse than I ever have, in the short term. Hopefully the outcome will be worth it. My energy is sapped, I feel snappy and nauseous. I just made myself a bowl of home made chicken noodle soup and sat down to read your blog. Reading it encouraged me, this bowl of soup is my positive action today and it is enough. Thank you Rachel for your work, you are changing my world, x
I love this, Ruth. Thank you for taking the time to have your soup and lift my heart.
Rachel,
I’m so glad to read this update! I have been following your story this year and wanting you to find answers. I considered asking you about diet soda but felt like maybe I would be overstepping especially when I read you were taking some time to just be with the unanswered questions a little while ago.
I am worried that there is something in diet soda that is harmful to people and may be causing more issues than people realize. I don’t think it is very well researched. Here is one study however: https://www.kidney.org/news/kidneyCare/spring10/DietSoda
As an alternative, perhaps some unsweetened iced tea with just some lemon could give you the bit of caffeine you need while also possibly having a health benefit. Here is another article talking about that. http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/antioxidants-in-green-and-black-tea
Wishing you and all the fellow readers out there (including myself) a year of healing and health. There are things I need to do and I promise myself to make progress this year. Thank you for the gift of your words and inspiration to act.
Kerry
I loved this post and got goosebumps when I read the title of your 3rd book!!! I wear an Only Love Today bracelet everyday and it has helped me stay grounded, calm and to focus on LOVE. My goal this year is to be healthy in mind, body and spirit, your writing helps me achieve this goal. I look forward to your 3rd book and already have people in mind to gift it to. Thank you for sharing your love.
Hoorayyyyy! No more doctor appointments needed. Breathing a sigh of relief along with you! Love your focus on little steps and use of a living calendar for habit-changing. Simply brilliant! Documenting successes makes all the difference. Thank you for sharing this <3
Oh how I needed to read this today !!! I am glad that things seem to be turning in a better direction for you, though perhaps more slowly than anyone would want. I am in a similar situation… different health issues… but many, many commonalities. I have Adrenaline Burnout. It is also referred to as Adrenaline Fatigue or in its most devastating form, Addison’s Disease. Most doctors do not have a clue as to how to treat it. And there are no medications… as they were not deemed worthy of creating. Although there were some in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s that were successful, they are not big money makers so the research is minimal. I am on my own basically with medical texts and my doctor guiding and God guiding. A lot of it is lifestyle changes… permanent changes… new ways of thinking and living and sleeping and eating and prioritizing. Avoiding stress that is created by overload. And about 90 supplements … vitamins, minerals, herbs… as I could not eat enough to correct the imbalance and continue to live in real life. Stress is part of life and I need to learn new ways of dealing with it.
This condition was created by a lifetime of abuse of various forms beginning in childhood with verbal abuse and emotional abuse from my mother who did not want me. Forgiveness is key and that happened long ago but the voice tracks in my head are deep. Then one bad relationship after another due to very low self esteem which led to more abuse… emotional, verbal, manipulation and control, sexual abuse (I was a victim of date rape by an old friend who was on drugs one night), and increasingly more dangerous physical abuse until one day about 13 years ago I was beaten to a pulp and stabbed about 30 times and almost died… I would have been DOA if they had chosen an ambulance over a helicopter as I had only 2 minutes before I would have bled out when I arrived. So from birth to 45 I was constantly in fight or flight mode… living like the energizer bunny … trying desperately to please everyone… and never able to do so. A few years after the incident the burn out started to show up, but having no real guidance I went from doctor to doctor and no one knew what to do. Finally I found someone who would work with me and I started researching the disease and got a few good medical texts, some old and new, and some nutrition books. So my doctor and I and God created a plan. Similar to yours in many ways.
However, about a week before Christmas… just when I was beginning to feel a teeny, tiny bit better… a chain of events began… some personal … some family… a few devastating financial blows that we are still trying to recover from… and now I feel like I am back at square one. But, your post gives me hope and a good idea of how to reconstruct my life one step at a time. You have re-inspired me and given me a shot of hope !!! Thank you as you share the realities of your life with every day honesty and down to earth truth. Again, soooo needed this !!!
Bless you, Bonnie Jean. You have been through so much. Yet, here you are, sharing your heart so openly, shining your light so brightly. You will overcome.
Happy Birthday, Rachel!!! Thank you for taking care of yourself. Thank you for writing. Thank you for spreading love and hope and joy. You are a mentor to me and many others.
I appreciate your beautiful message today. Thank you.
Your words slow me down. I read them in quiet. I go through blog posts and chapters of your books slowly, savoring each word, letting them seep in. I wear reminders on my wrist. . .and slowly, my world is changing. It’s a process. One breath at a time, one choice at a time. . .but I thank you for getting my attention and making me pause and take heed at the life that was unfolding in front of my eyes, that I was missing because I was too busy looking ahead to what needed to be done…often with aggravation and annoyance. Only Love Today will be another gift, I’m sure. Thank you.
Thank you, Janene. This is so beautiful & spoke right to my heart.
I needed to read this TODAY! Thank you!
Happy Birthday, Rachel!!! Thank you for taking care of yourself. Thank you for writing. Thank you for spreading love and hope. You are a mentor to me and so many others.
Rachel –
As I sat reading this blog this morning, tears flowed down my cheeks. You inspire me continually. I had written a lengthy reply, expressing all my thoughts & emotions – but hit the wrong button on my phone & my words vanished.
Please know I am personally thankful you took the time to write this blog today. Sharing your journey helps me in ways I truly cannot articulate. God just knew I needed you at exactly the time your writings were brought my way.
Thank you for being what I would call a “soul sister” and just KNOWING.
Truly, from deep within my heart – thank you for helping me get out of my own thoughts of being I accepted as I am, feeling I have to perform in order to be loved, and helping me find a new way to look at what seem huge tasks.
Virtual hugs of gratitude … and prayers of thanksgiving that you are feeling much better!!
#ChooseLove is my one of my sayings for 2016 – solely inspired by YOU.
Always,
Robin
Thank you, dear Robin, for taking the time to write a beautiful message of thanks – not once, but twice! Your heart is open and you stand in the light of authenticity bearing your scars. They look beautiful to me. I admire you and celebrate you. You give me such support in the midst of your trials. You are goodness through and through.
Rachel, thank you for this post. I think it might be one of the most important things you’ve ever written. It certainly is for me — I stumble so much with self-care. My brain knows it’s so important but somehow my choices fall out of line. But I know that the falls mean I just need to try again in a different way. Your writing reminds me of that. Truly, I think the world could be an entirely different place if more people could give themselves the care we really need, the kind of loving attention that a person can only give themselves when they are honestly treating themselves like their own Best Friend. Blessings to you, so glad to hear that you have come through the tunnel.
This means so much to me, Illana. Thank you for taking the time to tell me.
Hi, you have given me an idea. I hadn’t ever thought about being my own best friend and am thrilled at the idea. I am going to treat myself as such beginning today. Thank you.
“Miniscule efforts light the path.” Love this thought. May be my new mantra!
Thank you for letting me know that line resonated with you!!! That brings me joy.
Oh Rachel, congrats on the new book! It sounds wonderful. I also loved this post and I’m long overdue for a health calendar. I do live for my morning coffee and I’m not quite ready to give it up I may try to do the next best thing and forgo the sugar! Water is definitely missing from my life as is, all to often, enough sleep. After years of going to bed with my (sleepless) babies, I’m enjoying reading and writing in the evening but all too often I fall into an Internet hole and then see how late it is. Since my kids do still wake at night (less often thankfully) my sleep is interrupted so I really do need to honor what I can for my health. Thank you for this important reminder.
Thank you for contributing to the conversation, dear Dana. I love hearing your thoughts & perspective.
Oh, Rachel…do you realize…
1. you always come through for me – your words are just what I needed to see/hear,
2. a few weeks ago, I purchased a beautiful calendar/notebook to use to give me direction on a daily basis – your post gives me that direction because that beautiful book was still empty,
3. I am thankful for finding you and your blog,
4. wishing you a happy birthday full of abundant joy and blessings,
5. only love today…and a grateful heart.
Thank you!!
You made me smile five times. Thank you for helping me realize.
Happy birthday, Rachel! Your words are full of encouragement for so many, myself included. Thank you for being you!
This was an absolutely wondering post. I really enjoyed reading it as I do all your posts!
Congratulations on your self-care AND your forthcoming book too, dear Rachel! So relieved to hear that you are out of the woods. Thank you for sharing your story – I loved reading it, and it also prompts me to take my tired self to bed early tonight rather than trying to squeeze in just a little more work!
PS – Only Love Today is the perfect title … how fitting that you’re LIVING its message at the same time that you’re WRITING it. 😉
Thank you, Caroline. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but yes, yes! You are so insightful!!! “Only Love Today is the perfect title … how fitting that you’re LIVING its message at the same time that you’re WRITING it.” Wait til you read the book. You will have chills in seeing how well your decription fits!
Bravo! I love the reminder that life is built up of small choices (just as a 70,000 manuscript is composed of small chunks). I gave up Diet Coke cold turkey in March 2015 and have never looked back. Still a coffee drinker for now, but agree with you entirely on the hours of sleep, the water, the fresh air … xox
I love when you pop in and leave a beautiful comment on the blog. I love to know you gave up DC and never looked back. This gives me hope.
Rachel, as always, your timing is impeccable!! I was JUST looking at my screen saver which is a screen shot of Only Love Today. I literally just sat for a minute looking at it and breathing.
I suffered from poor self care essentially. I’m not sure if that is in essence what you had but it is what I had. Repeated UTI’s from not drinking enough water, not getting up to go when I had to (just finish this one more thing…) and chronic sleep deprivation. I am a year into more sleep, more water and more breathing time. I guard my time ferociously now because I feel so human and I am nice again. I smile and even laugh. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I am giving myself a good foundation to build a happy life with my family.
I hope you have a wonderful week!
I feel less alone after reading your story. I am so glad to know you are in the world. And so happy to hear what your screen saver is!!! 🙂
And I am so glad you are in the world!!
Dear Rachel, a very beautiful blog, thank you. I’ve never been a Coke drinker but can relate to the stimulation of an ice-cold fizzy drink … am wondering if you’ve considered getting a Soda-stream and making your own ice-cold soda (plain) with lemon or lime juice? It’s delish! refreshing and the fizz is a-tingle!
With love and appreciation of you, Marian
Yes, Marian! It’s the fizz I love! I will have to look into the soda-stream idea! Thank you!
Rachel, I absolutely love love love your ‘Self Care Advocate’…the thought that mine is in me too and I can choose to hear her voice over the part of me thinks productivity and perfection are more important is so reassuring, comforting and helpful to me right now. Thank you for your posts. Your writing lifts me up.
This means a lot to me, Naomi. Thank you.
I am ashamed at how I pass over my own health. If I were to treat my children, with this level of neglect? I’d be the worst parent alive. Why are we a P.S. in our lives? And why do we think we’re not important enough to stop and care for? I only a few years ago, promised myself that my mantra would change from “I don’t have time” to “If this were your child, what would you do.” That settles everything.
I am so happy to know you.
Thank you for your hope filled words on this hard, hard day. I am struggling with chronic pain, depression, and a spouse who understands none of it. Life just seems exhausting, overwhelming. Tasks are impossible, yet I’ve always defined myself by them. You reminded me the big picture is made up of individual brushstrokes, and I AM capable of baby steps, every day, that will get me back on track, help me find my joy. Thank you.
We’ll take tiny steps together, dear Cindee. I am right beside you, cheering you on.
I forgot to mention in my earlier comment: when I quit soda, I missed the fizz factor. I started drinking seltzer water over ice with a little fruit juice mixed in. It gave me that fizz I was craving! 🙂
Don’t you just love it when you come across a blog post that is just what you needed? That happens to me so often and I love the little nudges of encouragement and understanding I get from that. Thank you for saying what needed to be said. So many others need to hear it…well, I do, anyway. ☺
There’s nothing more wonderful than being released from medical hell. Its like getting out of prison. I would definitely stay away from all soda. God knows what’s in that stuff. Your body will thank you.
I have been faithfully reading Hands Free Mama for years, ever since I stumbled upon How to Miss a Childhood. This is the first time I’ve left a comment. Many times I have read your insightful words through tears because they touched my heart. As I’ve struggled to find balance they were there encouraging me. Helping me to believe that I’m not a failure as a mother and that even when today is hard there was good in it and tomorrow is a fresh start. Today as I sit at home on stress leave over the implosion of my 15 year marriage five days ago, once again I find hope in your words. Everything is so overwhelming right now that I can barely breath. “Tiny steps count. Small actions make a difference. Miniscule efforts light the path.” I can do that. One day at a time. Even (especially?) during this darkest hour, I will choose only love today. Thank you.
Thank you, Nicole, for bravely sharing your struggle and letting me know of your faithful presence alongside me on this journey. I am so glad you are here. Your message in itself is a bold, first step, a significant action towards hope. Please know I am holding your hand from afar as you gain clarity with each positive step.
Oh Rachel, I just can’t explain what your blog has done for me. It makes me very conscious of what I do and how I live. I am also on a journey of taking care of myself and this post is right on time. Rachel, its like you read my mind. Its like you know me somehow. I am continents away yet everything you write relates too well. I always say you are God sent. You have changed my life in ways you may not imagine. I am no longer the same person. Even when I go wrong, I always know there is hope for being a better person, a better mother and a better wife. Thank you Rachel, may God bless you!
You are such a blessing to me, dear Winnie. Thank you for these affirming words. It means everything!
Thank you for this! I love the idea of the Living Calendar and switching in new goals when you feel like you’ve accomplished a previous one. That makes conquering new things seem so much simpler and manageable! And the last part of your post was very encouraging to me as I am currently experiencing the difficult (and often overwhelming) adjustment to two kids. My heart knows that just loving these little ones is enough, but my head always tries to tell me I need to be doing more or doing “better.”
Laurel,
As a mom of a 2.5 year old and 5 month old, know it will get easier. As crazy as it sounds, make sure you sleep more. Sleep deprivation is real and you will be a different person. Don’t try to do it all today. Get more sleep. I promise it will make a difference and changed the life of my family when I finally listened to that advice!
Hi!! I loved this article! I’m a mommy of three ages 4, 6 and 8 in Oregon. I’ve struggled with chronic pain as a result of three c-sections and vascular issues following pregnancies and would love to write a little piece on that subject if you’re ever in need of such an article. I know it’s a struggle for many women, and while I’m part of an online support group it’s not a public forum. I’ve found a way to stay active and on my feet but it’s been quite a journey.
Just wanted to say thank you for your honesty. Slowly but surely, I am incorporating many of your ideas into my life/family and it is just amazing. I always look forward to reading your words because I know that they will help me in that very moment. So again, you are appreciated! So happy that your health issues are a thing of the past!!
Thank you for letting me know this, Kelly. This is why I write. You have blessed me beyond measure with your words and actions.
Rachel, I always enjoy your posts and look forward to the Only Love Today book to go along with my bracelet. I wanted to share with you a followup from your sky of possibilities post a bit ago. I’m working on stating my own blog and its purpose is to reach that one person going through a medical crisis who it might make a difference for. The audience will be parents of special needs children as the birth of my special son has changed me forever! Keep up the great self nurturing and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Oh Stephanie, this is such incredible news! Your blog sounds incredibly helpful and I love your meaningful goal. Please share the link when your blog is live! This makes me so happy. Big hugs to your special son for the inspiration he brings!
She’s amazing & I’m confident her blog will continue to share the message of hope & faith that you’ve started here.
Hi again Rachel,
Congrats on finishing your 3rd book! I can’t wait to read it :). You and my friend Katrina are two of my soul changers. As a result, my blog goes live on 3/17! I know I have a lot to learn but I’m excited to finally start putting some of our journey out there to be read! Thank you ?
I am so excited for you, Stephanie!!!
Thank you, Rachel! Oh, how I ABSOLUTELY needed that. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I am a fan of yours n I really wish you feel better and get better. One of your classic blogs on yelling made me cry. I am going through one of the most craziest phase of my life and each word of yours soothed me. I have been trying lose weight, I am not sure of whether I chose the right career early in life (I have a CA degree in India which is CPA equivalent or even higher in the US) I had to give up my career for many reasons out of my control. I had been depressed about it but I wheeled in all my courage and started building my own practice, but my heart is set on becoming a writer. I want to write but frankly am so lost I don’t even what to and am super scared that I might ending up failing. Writers like you and Elizabeth Gilbert somehow always are so inspiring that I still nurse the hope of following my writing dream. I want to thank you that from such a faraway have managed to fill hope in my heart. I wish I could meet you someday. Till then ALL THE BEST WITH YOUR HEALTH. Lots of prayers and love to you. GOD BLESS YOU.
So glad your health is on the road to recovery!!! Also, it isn’t necessarily the caffeine in the Coke Zero that is dangerous, it is the artificial sweeteners that are dangerous. A friend of mine has MS, and his Dr. believes it was the aspertame and the chemicals in his diet Coke that may have contributed to his disease. That stuff truly is poison!!! May the Lord bless your new found health! 🙂
Jill, This is somewhat unrelated to Rachel’s post, but could you tell me more about what your doctor told your friend about aspartame? I don’t technically have MS (yet?) but could develop it based on symptoms I had a number of years ago. I’m not sure if hormones and pregnancy are related as well. What area of what country is your friend in? I’d love to know more and can give you my email address if you’d be willing to share more with me. Thanks Stephanie
Your words always inspire me. I don’t always have time to read them the day they come out. But lucky me, I get to them binge on them when I have the time. I’ve read 3 today and shed more than 3 tears. You have such a gift and I am grateful you decided to share it with me. You make me want to be a better mother, wife, friend and person. You inspire me and give me hope that I actually can be those things. Motherhood is difficult and the world we live in today is scary. I worry so much about my kids growing up in this day and age. So many scary things and people out there. Thank you for sharing your insight and giving me strength and the words I need when I can’t form them myself. 🙂