“In the morning to another day,
twisting and dodging the drops of rain
Now I know what I wanna be,
it's what you already see.”
-Sister Hazel, You See Me Beautiful
This is a picture of my Noticer of life child and Lacie, a kitten we fostered over the summer. This photo was taken right before Lacie’s new owner came to take her to her forever home. When I looked at my camera after taking the picture, I knew I had to tell you this story, and I knew today, August 12th, would be the day.
Lacie didn’t arrive at our house when the other kittens did. Lacie contracted a tick-transmitted disease from her mother and was very sick. She wasn’t expected to live. About two weeks into our fostering duties, we got a joyous call from the vet that Lacie had recovered was well enough to join her siblings. My Noticer went with me to pick her up. This kitten was tiny, fragile, and scared. My daughter consoled her all the way home. She vowed to look after her.
My daughter spent endless hours holding Lacie in her lap. Oddly enough, the kitten would look directly into my daughter’s eyes during these cuddling sessions. My child and Lacie sat together just looking at each other. When a prospective adopter came to our house to select one of the six kittens, she sat down on the floor. Lacie immediately curled up in the woman’s lap and looked into her eyes exactly the way she did with my daughter. That moment sealed the deal for this kitten. Once she was big enough to be spayed and immunized, Lacie would go home with this kind woman.
My daughter continued to love this kitten every day for four weeks knowing she’d eventually have to give her away. The above photo was taken right before Lacie’s new owner came to retrieve her. Some might look at this picture and see sadness, but I see peace. My daughter knew the love she gave made something really, really special happen—even though it was not hers to keep.
When I look at this picture, it speaks to me. It says: Love makes good things possible.
And that’s what I needed to tell you today. I share this reflection not because I think you might be parting with a kitten; I share it because there’s a good chance you’re making a priceless investment today. I suspect you’re pouring love into someone or something despite knowing you’ll have to part with it someday. A selfless act such as this can feel depleting, trying, and at times, frightening.
Investing love into the life of another being is not easy; sometimes it’s downright painful, but let us not forget why we do it: Love makes good things possible.
As my daughter so beautifully demonstrated through the care of this kitten, love is not ours to keep. Love is ours to give away, and when we do, we make good things possible.
So let there be peace in our hearts today.
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My friends of The Hands Free Revolution, today is my Noticer’s 10th birthday. She’s taught me so much over the past decade. If you have read the Firefly post, the Hurry Up post, or either of my books, you know this little girl has changed me for the better; she’s taught me to slow down, notice, and keep track of life. When I share a message my Noticer inspires me to write, I often read her your comments. They make her smile like a sunflower on steroids. Your words build her up. They inspire her to keep writing music, singing to despondent elderly people, and talking up the depressed cats to prospective adopters. Today I wanted to thank you for loving her as I do. It does not go unnoticed.
I leave you with one final picture of my daughter holding Lacie at the vet before she was spayed and immunized. Avery was assuring her furry friend that she would be okay. Turns out, she was more than okay. She was loved. Thank you for being part of our supportive Hands Free community on Facebook and Instagram. Your comments never cease to enlighten and encourage.
* For more truthful story-telling and practical strategies to keep track of life, please see my books, Hands Free Mama and Hands Free Life. For gorgeous reminders to choose love in metal, leather, silicone, or paper, see the Hands Free Shop. Enjoy free domestic shipping on all items in the shop for one more week with the code: LOVESCHOOL.
P.S. If you enjoyed this short reflection meant to bring a cleansing breath and a heart-led focus your day, you will love my forthcoming book, ONLY LOVE TODAY: Reminders to Breathe More, Stress Less, and Choose Love, available for pre-order now.
Thank you for this sweet message. Happy Birthday to Avery. It’s my birthday too and your words are a lovely gift.
Oh Teresa, happy, happy birthday!!! This is a glorious day in my mind when people with loving hearts were born to make the world a better place. I am so glad you are here! Sending lots of love. Wish you could join us tonight for brownie sundaes!!!!
That first photo is your “noticer” giving that kitten a dose of love and courage to go on the next adventure. The idea of it showing sadness didn’t even cross my mind. And, I’m sure that twinge was in her heart but she was holding it back, not letting the kitten see it. Happy birthday to your sweet girl! May she continue to notice all of the special things in life and enjoy each day fully!
Oh how much I love your interpretation of the photo, Meg! Thank you so much for commenting with such lovely words and wishes for Avery.
Now wait a minute – there should be no making me cry on a Friday! ?
Seriously though, that picture is a once in a lifetime shot – the serenity in both child and kitten is palpable! I don’t think it looks sad at all. It’s a framer, for sure. She’s full-on, rock star amazing, that daughter of yours. Genuinely exceptional.
If you hadn’t taken the time to notice your sweet Noticer, and allowed her to bloom the way she has, none of us would get to revel in her sweet nature. None of us would be reminded to enjoy our kids exactly for who they are, even when that doesn’t look like what we expected. None of us would get reminded to sing, even when we are scared, or to risk loving old people or kittens who might leave us too soon. She is thriving because you allow her to be herself, and we are all the better for it.
I feel like a broken record – constantly thanking you for your blog and FB posts (and books, of course). Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get where you are. But I’m so thankful that you share All The Things that you are so very brave to share. I know I am not the only one whose world is better because of it.
Happy, happy Double Digits, sweet A!!! I hope it is your best year yet! ???
Oh Lynn, you just made the mama of this special girl cry like a baby! Thank you for taking the time to affirm and encourage me. I was not expecting that, but it sure lifted my heart to the sky. Please know that your “broken record” is my symphony, and it keeps me going on days I wonder if I should be doing something else with my life.
Happy Birthday to Avery! What a giving, beautiful girl! I can’t imagine my heart handling loving Lacie only to give her up. Avery you are strong and kind and so very special! May God bless you and keep you all the days of your life. ?
Thank you, Faith. What beautiful words. I will read them to her tonight when she gets home from school. I can already see her smiling.
Happy Birthday! What a wonderful picture of love and support.
Happy birthday, Avery! I hope it’s a great one! I enjoy all the stories.
Thank you, Angela! That means so much!
Wow. I have to say that I believe this was for me. I have a Noticer too and in 2 weeks I’m taking him to collage… in France. I’ve been reflecting on his growing up and how much he changed me. “Let me be the radio, Mommy!” That encouraged me to listen. Shut off the radio and listen to him. “What if we could fly, Mommy?!?” That encouraged me to think and wonder and imagine with him. And oh-so-much more!! Now, this wonderfully positive, patient and talented light in my life is going to be so far away! I’m so excited for him! He’s starting a whole new chapter in his life. And I’m going to miss him so much!! Thank you for reminding me that THIS is why I raised him. This is the purpose of parenting… to give them wings to fly.
This is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing … & many blessings to your brave son & to you too, dear Mama.
I have tears in my eyes as I write this…not tears of sadness, but tears of thankfulness. Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your beautiful daughter’s story. And thank you to sweet Avery, your kind heart and generous spirit are exactly what we need more of in this world.
Thank you, friend. How lovely of you to share.
This post touched my heart! Your daughter is amazing and little Lacie looks so much like my sweet Kelsey, who has gone to “kitty heaven.” I still miss her so much, but pictures of kitties that remind me of her always bring back wonderful memories of Kelsey. It must be so hard to say goodbye to kitties that you have fostered. But you can take pride in knowing that they get off to a great start, knowing they are loved so much. Happy 10th birthday to Avery! May she always be a noticer . . . and teach others that love truly does make good things possible! ???????
I love this!!!! I have a Noticer, too, and this just speaks to my heart! Just a thought–we need a “love makes all things possible” bracelet!! :). Happy Friday, and thanks!!
Oh that’s not a bad idea, Brooke!! Thank you for the suggestion!
Wishing a very happy birthday to your little noticer. May God bless her with love and peace.
thank you so much!!!
Happy, happy birthday, Avery. And, thank you for helping all of us to be more present and to connect with Life more deeply.
Happy birthday to beautiful, kind and thoughtful Avery! ?? The first photo you shared should be printed and placed in two spots in your home…one in Avery’s room so that she can reflect on how her kindness helped save a tiny life, and one in a place for everyone to see what a lovely person your daughter is! ?
I love your idea. Thank you, Tammy. I will do that!
Happy Birthday, Avery! Hope you enjoy your special day to the fullest!
My very best friend in the whole wide world was born on this day too.
It’s nice to know she shares this special day with you.
Hugs and blessings from Alaska. ?
Happy birthday to your best friend!!! It’s a very special day!
Your message was sent from God to me thru you. My mother is dying. I don’t want to part with her..not now…not ever. Your post helps me see that I can pour my love into her while she is still here…and remember that love makes good things possible.
Thank you!
I am so very sorry to hear of your situation, Margie. I pray that the memories you’re making and storing in your heart will comfort you during the times ahead. You and your mama will be in my prayers.
Dear Margie, you have touched my heart deeply. I am so sorry for the pain and heartache you are experiencing. Your mother is blessed to have a daughter who is pouring love into her hours and days. I wish you both countless special moments that will live forever in your heart.
Kristy, thank you for being so kind. I am grateful to know you are in the world, freely giving comfort and blessings.
As I sit here with big fat ugly tears rolling down my face after reading such a timely reminder as I have just returned from visiting my dear old Dad at the hospice. So thank you and thank you too Lacey, thanks for sharing your message
My heart is with you, dear Dallas. Bless you and your sweet daddy.
This is beautiful and it touched me so much. This has been a trying year for our family as I have been going through treatment for cancer. There have been many unexpected bumps in the road. To top it off, my oldest is leaving for college in 2 weeks. He and I went to our favorite breakfast place this morning and I was telling him stories of himself when he was little. Even though he rolled his eyes, I know he liked hearing them. I am holding the memories close lately and trying not to cry. I am so excited for him and what comes next. You are exactly right. Love is about letting go. Happy birthday, Avery. Enjoy your special day!
Mari, I will be thinking of you and praying for you — both for healing of your body and balm for your heart as you make this difficult transition with your son. You are loved, my friend.
Happy happy birthday. As always your posts come to me at just the right moment – I wish I knew you – you and your daughter are beyond lucky to have each other . ?❤️???
Happy Birthday Avery! That was a beautiful reminder to keep loving – I loved these words – “… love is not ours to keep. Love is ours to give away, and when we do, we make good things possible.”
Thank you. I read this standing next to the precious thirteen month old boy I’ve been fostering for nearly a year. He’s leaving soon for his forever home. I’m reading this after having poured my heart into a friendship for several years and just finding out in a heartbreaking way that I didn’t know her like I thought I did, no one who loves her did. I needed this reminder today.
My hand is in yours today, my brave and beautiful friend. Thank you for choosing love. My heart is comforted knowing you are in the world.
Rachel, I always have to be careful to choose where and when I read your posts! They always bring tears !.
This post reminds me that love given multiplies. Because of the special love your noticer gave the kitten, it learned how to give love. It sounds like the lady who adopted the kitten needed just that kind of love.
How brave of your daughter to be able to develop such a special bond with this kitten and then encourage it to have a special bond with someone else! What a wonderful gift of love she has given to both this kitten and it’s new forever mom.
Thank you, dear Ruth. Much love to you!
Words cannot express what this post means to me today! Last night we had to let go of our 16 1/2 year old yellow lab Louie. It was an agonizing decision to make but we knew it had to be made. I thought to myself last night I will never get another dog again. I cannot go through this pain of loss again. But you have reminded me of the love and life we had for the last 16 years. There will always be pain but love always wins! It has to! ❤️?
Christene, I read your comment and had to reply… in mid-June I lost my 13-yr. old cat, Bogey, to renal failure. He was my best pal and helped me through some incredibly difficult times in my life. It was heartbreaking to make the decision to let him go, but I knew the time had come and I needed to give him that gift. I, too, said I would never open my heart like that again… but a few weeks ago we adopted a puppy, Oscar, and he has brought so much joy to our home. I still miss my Bogey like crazy, and have struggled with getting a new pet when I still cannot believe he is gone, but loving Bogey like I did helped me take a chance on a new furry friend. I pray that if and when the time is right, you will choose to open your heart again, too. The risk of loss will always be there, but as you said, the gift of the love you share – for however long you share it – is so sweet and fulfilling. I’m so so sorry for your loss of your precious Louie.
I am so sorry for your loss, Christene. I pray that healing and peace occur in your hearts & perhaps you consider rescuing a pup from the shelter. There are so many beautiful dogs there just waiting for someone to love them! I bet Louie would approve! With love and blessings, RMS
Dear Avery, happy, happy birthday! Thank you for being a noticer and someone who pours out love into the world. We need people like you.
Thank you, Laura. This made her smile so big!
I would LOVE a bracelet that says. . . LOVE makes good things possible! What a warm reminder all day, every day!
Rachel, my family is grown and I am a proud ‘Gran’ of 4. You touch many hearts with your wise words.
Thank you, Pat! I will see what I can do!!!
Rachel,
This post, along with the photos – especially the photos – brought tears to my eyes. Not just because of Avery’s sweet sweet soul, but because I am still grieving the loss of my beloved Bogey – my constant feline companion of 13 years. Losing him to renal failure was one of my life’s biggest heartbreaks, and I can only imagine what Avery felt giving up her little pal. Yes, she knew the kitten she loved so completely and selflessly was moving on to a new home and continued love, but it still had to be painful. I love that she took the risk of opening her heart, and I pray she continues to do that throughout her life. Love = risk. But as you said, love brings so much good. Today as I think about my precious Bogey, I am grateful I had the opportunity to pour my love into him and enjoy the many years we had together. Please wish Avery a very happy birthday! xoxo
My hand is in yours, dear Valerie. I am so sorry for the pain you feel. Many blessings, dear one.
I am one of those depleted souls. I truly needed this right now. and it touched and affected me deeply. Thank you for sharing your amazing little girl and her experience. I do believe you may have an “old soul” on your hands ? You’re an amazing mama to have such an amazing girl. Thank you for just the encouragement I’ve been needing. ?
I pray that your soul is refueled in ways unexpected, dear Cate. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate the sweet encouragement.
Happy Birthday Avery! May this coming year be filled with beauty, magic, awe and peace! You have not only taught your mama many lessons of slowing down; you have helped me to slow down and allow my boys to live at their pace in this hectic world. Big hugs to you!
Thank you Rachel for being exactly who you are meant to be!
Thank you, Melissa!
Happy double digits, Avery! Today is also my son’s 11th birthday. He is a noticer, too. Rachel, your posts and book have helped me slow down and more fully enjoy walking to school together with my son. I used to rush (and I’ll admit that I sometimes still do) and hurry him out the door, missing so much connection. It was your encouragement and example that helped me trust, give him time, and learn so much more about him and the beautiful world around us. We stop to notice the birds, to kick pine cones back and forth, and just to let him share about his day. I’m so glad for the days that I did slow down, as he starts middle school this year and we will no longer be walking together to school. I’ll look for new ways to connect with him as he continues to grow. Thank you for this reminder that love is what matters most. It does make good things possible, even when we don’t see what those good things are, we can trust in knowing that loving is always the right decision. Avery, thanks for sharing that look of pure joy and love on your face while holding Lacie. Thank you for sending that love into our world. It sends a ripple effect that we can all feel when we pause and take time to notice.
Happy Birthday Sweet child. I feel honored to share a birthday with such a loving, wise, and observant soul. As you celebrate double digits may you laugh, smile, and feel contentment. Many blessings!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET SWEET GIRL!!! Enjoy every moment! This brought me to tears. Love is all we need ❤️
Thank you Rachel, I am caring for my grandchildren as their parents prepare and repair their new “old” home for their move in….and we have a kitten who has shown up and chosen them to love. I am caring and preparing the kitten and the grandbabies for her new home with them as well. But mostly this made me think of 3 very special friends who foster children. They so need to be reminded of the wonderful thing they do. Thenk you for sharing your family with us.
Lovely writings. No doubt you are a Noticer as well.
I take that as one of the most divine compliments I could ever receive. It brought me to tears. Thank you.
Happy Birthday, dear Lacie! Thank you for all that you’ve helped your Mom learn, and all that she in turn helps other Moms who are “addicted to busy-ness” to learn. You may never know just how much God has used you to bless others. . . {{{Hugs to you!}}}
I loved this post so much, though it definitely caused major optical leakage. It reminded me of my relationship with my boyfriend. From the day we met, he’s looked at me in much the same way I imagine your Noticer looked at Lacie, a look that says “I see you. Not what you look like, not what you’ve been through. You.” A look like that, and the gentle love behind it, is so healing for a scared and tattered soul. Thank you, Little Noticer, for blessing this kitten the way you did and for reminding me how blessed I am to have my sweetheart. Great job, mama! May God bless y’all.
Hi Rachel,
Thanks so much for today’s post. I cannot wait for your new book to come out as short daily stories will be the perfect boost to remind me of what’s really important everyday. I wanted to wish your daughter a very happy birthday. My two children just turned 3 and 5 and you and your family are a constant inspiration. Truly. I feel that I have learned so much from your heartfelt and honest stories and reflections. I know it must not be easy to divulge so much of yourself out into the open, but please trust me, I am so grateful you are doing this with your life. I reread your blog posts and your books frequently. Also, you turned me on to Dr. Laura Markham and her website which have helped me so much in my journey to become a peaceful parent. There are many, many things I do with my family because of you but just a few are talk time with my daughter at night, posting our family rules which start with “In our family, we…”, kindness projects, and constantly remembering that I do not get a do-over. You have helped me bask in the short lived early years and know that on the hard days, this too shall pass.
May you all enjoy your brownie sundaes tonight and your first days of the new school year too!
Happy Birthday, lil Noticer!
Thank you for sharing your mom and your life with us. We are inspired by you and your beautiful gifts. Best wishes for a wonderful upcoming school year.
XOXO,
Katie
Happy Birthday, Avery the Noticer! Hope you are enjoying the day with your family. Thank you, Rachel, for sharing all the insights your family inspires.
Thank you so much for sharing such intimate moments. Happy Birthday to your sweet daughter!
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. We are foster parents and have the privilege of caring for two sisters who will be returning home at the end of be month. This reminds me that love never returns void even invested, as hard as it is to let them go. ???
Happy Birthday to Avery! Today is my 50th birthday and this beautiful post (like all of your writing) is a gift, Rachel. You and your daughter’s are so inspiring to me. I was not lucky enough to receive the kind of loving, conscious parenting that you are giving your daughters but whenever I read your posts, I feel as if I am also reaping the benefits of your loving, caring, accepting ways. Your words of wisdom are healing and they always help me to be a better parent to my two teenaged children. Thank you so much for sharing your gift with the world. You are truly changing lives and I hope you never stop writing and inspiring your readers.
Happy Birthday Avery! I thank God for you and ask that He continue to richly bless you and your Mama.
I love this post. Choose love ?. If you haven’t already read, Love Does by Bob Goff, you’re going to love it. Enjoy.
Your writings inspire me and keep me going at the moments it seems I need it most. My daughter struggles to keep up with her peers in school, physical activities,and social understandings. Against family advice to take on another “responsibility” I decided to get her a kitten 2 months ago. Best decision ever!!
Dear Rachel,
When I looked at your photo, my first thoughts were: look how sweet and peaceful Rachel’s daughter looks. Studying it a second time, I noticed that the kitten also looks peaceful. In fact, it is amazing how the kitten is mirroring Avery’s facial expression! Neither Avery nor the kitten look sad to me. Happy birthday to your sweet girl. Your writing is a joy; I look forward to reading your blog every week and I read your second book recently.
Happy Birthday, Avery! You are doing a beautiful thing loving on these animals. I am a Title 1 reading tutor and this summer during our school’s Summer Literacy Camp, we went to our local animal shelter and read to the animals. Reading aloud is great practice for struggling readers (and non-strugglers, too!) and animals don’t care about mistakes; they just love the relaxing sound of the children’s voices. This helps the children build their confidence and helps the animals adjust to their new life at the shelter. A calm, unafraid animal is more likely to be adopted, so it is a win-win-win! Keep on noticing and loving the world around you, Rachel and Avery!
August 12 is my birthday too. I lived this, thanks 🙂
Happy birthday, dear Melanie!
I have a Noticer too… My 2nd child Brina. She sees everything and has the sweetest voice. She is now 5, but almost didn’t make it past 27 months old. Oddly enough her Appendix ruptured and I kept taking her into the ER and Dr. She had emergency surgery that saved her life. Even during her recovery she thanked her nurses before they would leave. I have 4 girls, but I can’t imagine my life without any of them. Life is hectic at times. But I sure am blessed! Thank you for this precious reminder ❤
Thank you for sharing your amazing story, Tandalyn. I am thankful Brina is okay and is here to touch lives with her beautiful heart.
You’ve taught your daughter so much with this kitten. I love giving children the gift of pets. I can’t think of any greater lesson for kindness and responsibility.