{"id":1387,"date":"2011-04-21T01:15:39","date_gmt":"2011-04-21T01:15:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=1387"},"modified":"2011-04-22T01:49:36","modified_gmt":"2011-04-22T01:49:36","slug":"take-a-look-in-my-closet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2011\/04\/21\/take-a-look-in-my-closet\/","title":{"rendered":"Take a Look In My Closet"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

My friend, Lori, doing what she does best.<\/p><\/div>\n

A few years ago, I had a small group of women over to my home for dinner. My husband and I had resided in this location for about six months, and I had enjoyed getting to know these particular ladies and wanted to know them better.<\/p>\n

I will never forget when one of the women inadvertently opened the closet door instead of the pantry to discard her trash.<\/p>\n

Much to my embarrassment, an enormous accumulation of \u201ccrap\u201d fell from the sky. She protected her face from flying cookbooks, outdated school directories, headless Barbie dolls, school projects, half finished scrapbooks, and yes, even a dirty sock.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my gosh, I am so sorry!\u201d I gasped.<\/p>\n

I scrambled to uncover her, hastily brushing off the stale crumbs stuck to her forehead that had fallen off the completely over-used recipe for Mom\u2019s Banana Bread that had also descended from the closet.<\/p>\n

I will never forget the look on her face.<\/p>\n

Relief.<\/p>\n

Pure and simple relief.<\/p>\n

She looked me in the eye and said, \u201cYou don\u2019t know how happy this makes me. Thank God, you aren\u2019t perfect after all!\u201d<\/p>\n

I hugged her tightly and we both laughed.<\/p>\n

Although I hadn\u2019t yet experienced my Breakdown Breakthrough<\/a> to begin living \u201creal,\u201d the notion that I appeared perfect (until someone saw the contents of my closet) sat on my shoulder gently reminding me that it\u2019s perfectly OK to be imperfect, in fact, most people welcome it; most people actually embrace it!<\/p>\n

But it is not easy to show people the contents of your closet, the messy, unsightly, most unbecoming parts that we can hardly bear to look at ourselves, let alone allow anyone else to see.<\/p>\n

I recalled this incident vividly when a former classmate, dear friend, and fellow blogger recently made an announcement.<\/p>\n

She posted this message on her blog, \u201cWisdom Comes Suddenly<\/a>\u201d:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m headed in a new direction here at Wisdom Comes Suddenly, and I hope you\u2019ll like this chapter as much as you\u2019ve enjoyed previous escapades, because this chapter is\u2026um, well to be honest, it\u2019s REAL.\u00a0 Really\u2026real.\u00a0 It\u2019s begins with a new affiliate relationship I\u2019ve formed with a company <\/em>I blogged about<\/em><\/a> one year ago named \u201c<\/em>Celebrate Calm<\/em><\/a>\u201c.\u00a0 They specialize in teaching parents behavioral techniques for intense and\/or special needs children, i.e. Gifted, ADHD, ODD, OCD, Anxiety Disorders, Asperger\u2019s, Autism, Sensory Integration Disorder, and other learning or emotional disorders.\u00a0 That being said, I think their techniques are so common sense, they would work on any child.<\/em><\/p>\n

So here comes the real part: Sara is a special needs child, which would be the first time in 5 years I\u2019ve said that out loud.\u00a0 I like to refer to her as \u201chigh needs,\u201d because for some reason, I find it easier to say.\u00a0 It\u2019s ambiguous; ambiguous can be comforting when you climb a mountain with a child, only to look up and see another standing in your way. We live with the fuzzy hope that each mountain will be our last. <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Sara\u2019s diagnosis list is so long that it truly deserves its own post, and I promise to share that journey in the very near future.\u00a0 For now, I can tell you she is simply a very intense child who defies all common parenting logic.\u00a0 We are not alone in parenting an intense child, this much I\u2019ve learned.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I have been following Lori's blog for several months now marveling at her brilliance and endless talents. Although I am not \u201ccrafty,\u201d I enjoy her creative \u201c20 minute\u201d sewing projects that turn a piece of scrap into a sleeping bag for a doll (or a cat, if it is cooperative). I drool over her organic dinner menus and homemade pies that would give Paula Dean a run for her money. And I enjoy seeing Lori transform an ordinary room into something from a vintage bed and breakfast for next to nothing.<\/p>\n

But most of all, I love the warm and fuzzy feeling I receive each time I am invited into the beautiful life Lori has created in a home where love always comes first.<\/p>\n

And when I had a chance to look in her closet to see the messy, difficult, disorganized, and unpleasant parts of her life, I loved her even more.<\/p>\n

As I read her words <\/a>on my computer that night, I wiped away the tears. I applauded her courage. I admired her honesty. I anticipated her wisdom and her journey.<\/p>\n

And being a writer in a public forum, I couldn\u2019t help but think of Lori, the woman who had to push \u201cpublish\u201d on that bad boy.<\/p>\n

I can only imagine the hesitation, the deep breath, the anxiety, and the wonder.<\/p>\n

Because once you speak the words, you cannot take them back. Being real is not the easy path.<\/p>\n

But I would wager to say that every single person who reads of her new chapter feels a sense of relief.\u00a0 And like my friend who saw the contents of my closet, a bit of the \u201cthank-God-she\u2019s-not-perfect-after-all\u201d kind of relief. Maybe there is hope for the rest of us, after all.<\/p>\n

It is difficult, painful even to discuss the challenges of parenting life. We often withhold information because we think people will judge us or that people will think we are bad parents, but by holding back, you are diminishing your chance to connect with someone who says, \u201cI am going through this, too. Let\u2019s help each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lori is creating a community. She began by putting herself out there, by being real. And now there is a safe place to lay your worries. There is a safe place to say, \u201cI\u2019m scared.\u201d There is a safe place to say, \u201cI am having a really bad day.\u201d And there is a safe place to say, \u201cThings didn\u2019t quite turn out the way I had planned. Where do I go from here?\u201d<\/p>\n

And there will be my friend Lori, reaching out her hand providing encouragement along with humor, along with creative ideas like “I Promise<\/a>” and “Ear Comforters<\/a>” that work for her child and might work for yours, too.<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t this what it is all about? Living Real equates to Loving Real. Building a community that allows for scars, blemishes, struggles and messy closets?<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it when we expose the imperfections that the healing begins?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it when we stop hanging on tightly to perfection that we can truly grasp what matters? <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it when we open our messy closets that the joy, the laughter, and the love can find its way in? <\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it when we show each other our scars that we love each other more? <\/em><\/p>\n

I think so.<\/p>\n

Could those of us reading today become a community of people who embrace and welcome realness? Could \u201cThe Hands Free Revolution<\/a><\/em>\u201d become a group of people striving to grasp what really matters by living real and loving real? It starts with me. It starts with you. Open your closet. Uncover your scars. Let the healing light shine in. And while you\u2019re at it, spread the light to someone else by clicking the \u201cshare\u201d button below.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few years ago, I had a small group of women over to my home for dinner. My husband and I had resided in this location for about six months, and I had enjoyed getting to know these particular ladies and wanted to know them better. I will never forget when one of the women […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1389,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[262,24],"tags":[278,274,279,43,277,276,275,1521,273],"gutentor_comment":3,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Promise-Sewing-e1303314420862.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-mn","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1387"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}