{"id":5726,"date":"2013-09-08T19:10:13","date_gmt":"2013-09-08T19:10:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=5726"},"modified":"2013-09-16T22:11:52","modified_gmt":"2013-09-16T22:11:52","slug":"two-handed-living","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2013\/09\/08\/two-handed-living\/","title":{"rendered":"Two-Handed Living"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"surgery<\/a><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t expect my reaction to be so intense. After all, I\u2019d been told many times that it was \u201cjust\u201d rotator cuff surgery. For months, my husband made his procedure sound like it would be no big deal. But when he was hooked to beeping machines and ominous-looking drip bags and wheeled into the operating room, things didn\u2019t look so simple to me.<\/p>\n

As soon as the double doors of the operating room swished closed, I sequestered myself in the corner of the waiting room and cried. Because that is what happens when you know something deep down in your soul \u2026 \u00a0when you are certain of someone or something so much.<\/i><\/p>\n

The next day, while sitting side-by-side with the patient secured in an obtrusive black brace and resting comfortably on pain meds, I got the call. It was my first of multiple book deal offers. A lifetime of filling blank pages in hopes of holding a published book in my hands was suddenly close enough to touch. The eight-year-old storyteller in me jumped for joy and hollered, \u201cYou didn\u2019t give up!\u201d<\/p>\n

As soon as I hung up the phone, I bowed my head and cried. Because that is what happens when you know something deep down in your soul \u2026 when you are certain of someone or something so much.<\/i><\/p>\n

When I looked up from my joyful breakdown, there was my husband awkwardly reaching out with his one good arm. \u201cI would hug you if I could,\u201d he deadpanned. And then we both laughed hysterically and took a moment to drink in a blessed moment we knew we\u2019d remember forever.<\/p>\n

Within days, I accepted one of the amazing book deal offers and learned that my manuscript would be on a fast track to be published. This meant an exorbitant amount of writing, editing, and polishing would be required of me in one month\u2019s time. I looked at my husband who was becoming quite skilled at balancing ice packs on his right shoulder and tearfully said, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can do this.\u201d<\/p>\n

With enough conviction for the both of us, my husband said, \u201cYes, you can. This is your dream, and I will help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Help me? S<\/i>eriously?<\/i> I wanted to kindly point out that in his current condition he couldn\u2019t even open a jar of peanut butter or put on his own deodorant, but instead I bit my tongue and held on to faith. After all, faith had gotten me this far.<\/p>\n

After my husband and I shared the incredible book news with my two biggest pint-sized fans, my husband told them what we would need to do as a family in order for me to meet my deadline. The girls excitedly agreed to do their part. Everyone was on board to see the Hands Free Mama<\/i> book come to fruition.<\/p>\n

But I was unsettled. I knew this because when I am unsettled troubling scenarios play out in my dreams.<\/p>\n

But this time it was only one troubling scenario over and over. And it was horrific.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Every night for two straight weeks, I woke up in a sweat, frantically groping for my missing left arm. Of course, it was only a dream. My arm was not severed; it was whole. That\u2019s when I would turn my head and see an enormous black brace sticking straight up in the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah. It\u2019s his<\/i> arm, not mine,<\/i> \u201d I would remind myself. Then I\u2019d wiggle each of my fingers, one by one, for extra assurance that I had two able hands.<\/p>\n

After a fitful night of sleep, I would creep through house in the early morning hours gathering the strength and necessary materials for another intense writing session.<\/p>\n

With every completed chapter I checked off on my writing calendar, I felt a small sense of triumph. I was getting closer. But yet, the nightmares continued. Finally, one morning after the same hideous dream, I knew the time had come. It was time to dig deep \u2026 it was time to face difficult truths \u2026 it was time to come clean. After all, painful truths were what propelled me into this Hands Free journey in the first place.<\/p>\n

I looked at my writing schedule. I was right where I needed to be. I was set to finish by the deadline\u2014so why the recurring nightmare? \u201cWhat are you scared of?\u201d I said aloud, as if putting it out there into the universe might get me a faster, more definite answer.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when the words came back to me like a flood\u2014painful words I had written on the one-year anniversary of my Hands Free journey. I ran to my computer and quickly typed in the title of that fateful post. And there it was. What I was afraid of stared back at me in 12-point Cambria font. \u00a0It was eerily called, \u201cOne-Handed Living.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before, I was living life with one hand.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nOne hand always making a list,<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nChecking things off \u2026 checking things off.<\/i><\/p>\n

Before, I was living life with one hand.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nOne hand always planning ahead,<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nOn to what\u2019s next \u2026 on to what\u2019s next.<\/i><\/p>\n

Before, I was living life with one hand.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nOne hand always trying to please,<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nMake everyone happy \u2026 make everyone happy.<\/i><\/p>\n

Before, I was living life with one hand.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nOne hand always striving for an illusion,<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nMake sure it\u2019s perfect \u2026 make sure it\u2019s perfect.<\/i>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

Before, I was living life with one hand.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nOne hand always reaching full speed,<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nDon\u2019t slow down \u2026 don\u2019t slow down.<\/i><\/p>\n

Before, I was living life with one hand,<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nOne hand always gripping the device,<\/i>
\nDon\u2019t miss a text \u2026 don\u2019t miss an email.<\/i>
\nInstead miss your life. <\/i>
\nBecause one-handed living is not really living,\u2028<\/i>
\nNot living at all.<\/i><\/p>\n

Deep in my soul, I yearned to grasp what really matters.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nAnd I knew I couldn\u2019t do it with one hand.<\/i>
\nSo I let go.<\/i><\/i>
\nI let go of distraction.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nI let go of overcommitment.<\/i>
\nI let go of perfection.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nI let go of pressure. <\/i>
\nI let go of excess.<\/i>\u2028<\/i><\/p>\n

And when I finally had two free hands,<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nI embraced life.<\/i><\/p>\n

<\/i>I embraced life with two free hands and one whole heart.<\/i>\u2028<\/i>
\nAnd that is when I truly began living.<\/i><\/p>\n

(The Hands of Time<\/a>; July 2011)<\/i><\/p>\n

So there it was. I was afraid of one-handed living. Because with the book deal came talk of opportunities, responsibilities, and expectations\u2014factors that could possibly corrode the Hands Free life I had desperately strived to create and protect. I couldn\u2019t bear the thought of going back to the way things used to be \u2026 the way I<\/i><\/b> used to be.<\/p>\n

So I sat with that recognition for a few days. I had come clean about my fears, but I wasn\u2019t sure where I was supposed to go from there. I decided that by letting go of the need for an immediate answer, a peaceful resolution would find me.<\/p>\n

And one evening, a mere 32 hours from my publisher\u2019s deadline, it did.<\/p>\n

I was down to the last chapter of my book. It was crunch time. My parents had come from out of state to help out in these critical last days.<\/p>\n

My mom came from my older daughter\u2019s bedroom. She quietly approached my work area that was littered with piles of papers, empty Coke Zero cans, and a mountain of discarded sticky notes. Mom gently touched my arm and told me that my daughter had requested her nightly Talk Time.<\/p>\n

Without hesitation, I got up from my keyboard and headed straight for my child\u2019s room. My mom called out after me as if sensing what I needed to hear. \u201cI tried to tell her you had a lot of work to do tonight but she said, \u2018Grandma, my mom always comes. Even if she has work to do, my mom always comes.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

I stopped mid-stride. My hand covered my mouth to suppress the emotional joy I felt from this sudden revelation.<\/p>\n

That was it!<\/i><\/p>\n

The little girl who knew exactly what nights her mother most needed encouraging notes placed on her computer saw something I didn\u2019t. Through my daughter\u2019s observations of me, she provided the peace I needed to stop the nightmares and provide the assurance that my Hands Free journey did not have to end with a book deal.<\/p>\n

My child knew that her mother\u2019s eyes had been opened. She knew I was not the same person I was three years ago when my distractions obstructed my view and caused me to lose sight of what was truly important in life. She knew I was now keeping track of life and would never lose sight of it again.<\/p>\n

And along with my child\u2019s hopeful observation came the definite answer to the recurring question I receive from readers of my blog:<\/p>\n

I am an executive officer working for a Fortune 500 company. Can I be Hands Free?<\/i><\/p>\n

I am a single parent living in a homeless shelter. Can I be Hands Free?<\/i><\/p>\n

I run a home-based business that requires a great deal of online work. Can I be Hands Free?<\/i><\/p>\n

I am divorced and only have my kids part-time. Can I be Hands Free?<\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve made a lot of past mistakes. Is it too late to be Hands Free?<\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019d always believed the answer was YES\u2014anyone with a desire to live a present and meaningfully connected life can be Hands Free. But now I had certainty.<\/p>\n

It is not your occupation, your life circumstances, or the number of available hours you have a day that determine whether or not you can grasp what really matters in life. It is awareness and action.<\/i> It is the ability to recognize what is truly important and then making an effort to choose <\/i>what matters in some form or fashion each day.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what pulls you to her bedroom even when you have 3,000 more words to write.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what urges you make a surprise visit to the school cafeteria despite a looming deadline.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what compels you to jump on the trampoline even though you\u2019re out of shape, uncoordinated, and might look a bit silly.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what makes you shoot baskets when the overgrown lawn could really use some attention.<\/p>\n

It's what urges you to push away the distractions and focus on the love of your life for a few hours.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what causes you to beam with approval at your kindergartener who dressed herself in mismatched clothes and an abundance of sparkly accessories.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what makes you turn off your phone on the way to soccer practice so you can talk to the precious cargo riding in the backseat.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what makes you sing your toddler to sleep even though you are bone-tired and just want to crawl into bed.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what wills you to take your elderly parent by the arm and patiently stroll to the pace of slow, shuffling feet.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what inspires you take advantage of the time that you are given \u2013 no matter how much or how little you have \u2013 by being all there<\/i> with the people you love and cherish.<\/p>\n

Living Hands Free means your eyes have been opened to see what is truly important. And once your eyes have been opened that priceless awareness can never be taken away from you\u2014no matter what circumstances arise in life.<\/p>\n

I stood outside the doorway of my child\u2019s bedroom in an effort to collect myself before entering. After taking a few deep breaths, I peeked around the doorframe. Cuddled in a mass of blankets, my child\u2019s sleepy face peeked out with a smile of assurance. \u201cHi Mama. I knew you would come,\u201d she said with satisfaction.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. Thank you,\u201d I whispered in response to my child but also as a prayer of gratitude for so many blessings that suddenly became clear to me \u2026<\/p>\n

Thankful my child knew me better than myself \u2026<\/p>\n

Thankful my family believed and supported my aspirations as a writer \u2026<\/p>\n

Thankful my husband was healing and would soon regain the use of both arms \u2026<\/p>\n

Thankful for the friends I\u2019ve never met in person, but we meet here each week as we strive to grasp what matters in life \u2026<\/p>\n

Thankful I could soon share my book news with them \u2026<\/p>\n

It was time to do what I had come to do. I opened both arms and drew my child to my heart. And when I realized I was embracing life with two free hands, I couldn\u2019t help but cry.<\/p>\n

Because that is what happens when you know something deep down in your soul \u2026 \u00a0when you are certain of someone or something so much.<\/i><\/p>\n

Two-handed living \u2026 I am forever yours.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"two<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

****************************************<\/p>\n

For everyone who has written to me and asked, \u201cWhere do I start? What steps do I take to become Hands Free?\u201d …<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

For everyone who has said, \u201cHave you considered writing a book? I\u2019d love to keep it on my nightstand to start and end my day,” …\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

For everyone who comes here and reads\u2014leaving a thoughtful comment or just nodding in agreement as tears cloud your eyes …\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/i><\/b>Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.\u00a0 It is my honor and privilege to officially announce that Zondervan, a division of HarperCollins, is the publisher of:<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\"Hands<\/a>

Hands Free Mama:
A Guide to Putting Down the Phone,
Burning the To-Do List,
& Letting Go of Perfection
To Grasp What Really Matters!<\/p><\/div>\n

My book hits shelves on January 7th<\/sup> but is currently available for pre-order on Amazon<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Barnes & Noble<\/a>.\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Thank you for being my faithful companions on this journey and encouraging readers of my words. You, my friends of The Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, have made all the difference.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\"celebratating<\/a>

celebratating a completed manuscript with the man who was an incredible help despite the brace!<\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn\u2019t expect my reaction to be so intense. After all, I\u2019d been told many times that it was \u201cjust\u201d rotator cuff surgery. For months, my husband made his procedure sound like it would be no big deal. But when he was hooked to beeping machines and ominous-looking drip bags and wheeled into the operating […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":5725,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"gutentor_comment":135,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/surgery-handsfreemama-e1378662065301.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1um","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5726"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5726"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5726\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5725"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}