{"id":5743,"date":"2015-11-05T04:00:12","date_gmt":"2015-11-05T10:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=5743"},"modified":"2015-11-12T07:17:00","modified_gmt":"2015-11-12T13:17:00","slug":"life-saving-reminders-for-a-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2015\/11\/05\/life-saving-reminders-for-a-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Life-Saving Reminders for a Child"},"content":{"rendered":"
\""If

“If I can stop one heart from breaking,<\/em>
I shall not live in vain;<\/em>
If I can ease one life the aching,<\/em>
Or cool one pain,<\/em>
Or help one fainting robin<\/em>
Unto his nest again,<\/em>
I shall not live in vain.” -Emily Dickinson<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

The term cyber-bullying sounds so futuristic \u2026 so foreign \u2026 and so far-off. \u00a0When I heard the word about a year ago, I thought I had plenty of time before this type of threat could touch my family. Part of me wanted to believe we could avoid it altogether\u2014that it was something that happened to “other people”.<\/p>\n

But now I know that kind of thinking is just foolish and na\u00efve. I know this because cyber-bullying has been getting frighteningly close to home. Family friends and loyal readers of my blog are telling me just how easily it happens \u2026 just how damaging it feels to the victim \u2026 just how helpless it feels to the parent \u2026 and in some case, just how devastating it feels to be the bully who never intended for things to take a tragic turn.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve made a conscious effort to protect my children from the dangers of the online world by installing filtering and accountability software. I have established an open line of communication with them and am involved in their online activities. But despite having these external protections<\/i><\/b> in place, cyber-bullying (and good-old fashioned face-to-face bullying) can still happen and is<\/i> happening. In many instances, these attacks are coming from trusted friends and classmates within a child\u2019s social circle. [source<\/a>]<\/p>\n

At times, I\u2019m tempted to banish technology from our lives\u2014but I know that is not a realistic solution. Electronic devices are becoming an integral part of the education system. For my older daughter, these devices have quickly become tools that are required to complete daily schoolwork. I watch in awe as she uses technology to create, navigate, and acquire important skills for the future.<\/p>\n

It is imperative that I continue to provide external protection for my child in the digital world, but that is not enough. I must also provide internal protection<\/i><\/b>\u2014protection of her heart, mind, spirit, and emotional wellbeing. I must provide affirming words and beliefs that she can use as armor if and when she is attacked.<\/p>\n

A very brave mother spurred this action in me. Her beautiful and vibrant daughter, Rebecca, took her life after being a victim of cyber-bullying<\/a>. As I read the significant actions that Rebecca\u2019s mother, Tricia Norman, took to protect her daughter and remove her from the toxic environment, I couldn\u2019t help but weep knowing the outcome. The mother noted that she thought things were going better for Rebecca at her new school, but the child kept her distress from her family. \u201cMaybe she thought she could handle it on her own,\u201d Ms. Norman said.<\/p>\n

Maybe she thought she could handle it on her own.<\/i><\/p>\n

After reading that particular sentence several times, my role as a parent of a child growing up in the 21st<\/sup> century became crystal clear. I want to be sure my child knows she doesn\u2019t have to go it alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I felt compelled to immediately tell my child that she is not alone\u2014no matter what the circumstances are. I wrote a letter to my daughter that contains reminders I will communicate to her often and in ways that she can understand as she matures. I share this letter to help others who want the children in their life to know they are not alone. Perhaps these words can help start the conversation.<\/p>\n

To my dear daughter,<\/b><\/p>\n

Technology is becoming a part of your life more and more. Eventually you will want a phone and will want to start communicating with others online. Before that day comes, it is important for me to tell you a few things. You will hear these words a lot from me\u2014you might even get sick of them. But these reminders are important. When the time comes, you will know how important they are. When you are hurting, let me remind you of these things.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/b>Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

When <\/b>you are teased, hurt, or humiliated, that day will seem horrible and unbearable. Just know that when you make it through that night, things have a way of looking more hopeful in the morning. Tomorrow holds possibilities that you cannot see today. I will help you see the promises in tomorrow when you can\u2019t see them for yourself.<\/p>\n

<\/b>Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

With me, you can be honest and real. With me, you can cry, scream, and let out your true feelings. My love for you cannot be changed by revealing the feelings going on inside you\u2014no matter how hard they are to say out loud.<\/p>\n

<\/b>Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

You are worthy of love, respect, and kindness. If other kids hurt you, together we\u2019ll figure out a way to help you work through those problems or distance yourself from them if needed.<\/p>\n

I encourage you to find that one loyal and kind friend to go through the school year with \u2013 don\u2019t let societal standards fool you into believing friends must be popular, good looking, or cool \u2013 at the end of the day, kindness is the most important quality to have in a friend and be in a friend.<\/p>\n

Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

If you have been humiliated or teased, facing certain people may seem impossible. But you have the courage and strength within you to show others they cannot hold you back from living your life.<\/p>\n

Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

No matter how personal the attack, it is about them\u2014their insecurities and issues\u2014not about you.<\/p>\n

Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

No matter how humiliated you are or how embarrassing it is to tell me what happened, when I look at you, I see my beautiful and amazing child. No one can change the way I see you.<\/p>\n

Let me remind you \u2026 <\/b><\/p>\n

You can come to me with anything\u2014even if you made a mistake, even if you used bad judgment. There is nothing that is \u201ctoo bad\u201d to tell me. Believe me, I have made plenty of mistakes and even though it was hard to let someone else in, I was so relieved not to carry the burden alone.<\/p>\n

Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

If your gut tells you what someone is doing is wrong, it probably is. Don\u2019t take part. Letting an adult know about someone who is being harmed or bullied does not make you a coward\u2014it makes you courageous and compassionate; it makes you a good friend who can look back on this later and life and proudly say, \u201cI didn\u2019t turn the other cheek. I tried to help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Let me remind you \u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/b>I cannot make your problems and hurts go away, but I can listen. And together we can come up with a solution. There is nothing we can\u2019t get through together. You are never, never alone.<\/p>\n

I love you forever & always,<\/p>\n

Mom<\/p>\n

On the very same night I wrote the letter, I spoke to my child about cyber-bullying. Although I did not read the above letter word for word, it helped to formulate my thoughts ahead of time.<\/p>\n

I brought up the topic at bedtime, not sure she would have anything to say in response. I quickly realized she\u2019d been waiting for an opening. My daughter began talking freely about her own personal observations about bullying that applied to her 10-year-old life and peer relationships. She articulately described how it felt to be betrayed by someone she trusted. That is when I told her about Rebecca and other young people who had ended their lives as a result of being tormented.<\/p>\n

Suddenly my daughter sat up abruptly, as if the words she was about to speak could not be said lying down. Gripping the edge of her sheets tightly in her hands, she declared, \u201cI would never kill myself, Mama! I have you, Daddy, my sister, and Banjo. I have too much to live for!\u201d<\/p>\n

Not too long ago, I couldn\u2019t have imagined such grave words coming from my daughter\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n

Not too long ago, such words would\u2019ve made me want to cry.<\/p>\n

Not too long ago, I might convinced myself we didn\u2019t need to talk about such things.<\/p>\n

But things are different now.<\/p>\n

And now talking about these things with my daughter and listening to her express her feelings is giving me peace. I may not be able to prevent a tragedy, but I vow to provide her with as much internal protection<\/i><\/b> as I can\u2014protection of her heart, mind, spirit, and emotional wellbeing by expressing my unconditional love every chance I get.<\/p>\n

Like many other parents and caregivers, the world of technology is pushing me into territories unknown and places I never wanted to go. But for the sake of my precious child, I will go there so she doesn\u2019t have to go it alone. She has too much to live for.<\/p>\n

And I will be here to remind her in case she should ever forget.<\/p>\n

\"longer<\/p>\n

*************************************<\/p>\n

Dear friends of The Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, let today be the day the children in your life are reminded that they are not alone. Let today be the day the children in your life hear all the things you love about them. Whether bullying is a part of that conversation or not \u2026 whether they are toddlers or teens \u2026 today is always a good day for a child to be validated\u00a0by a parent or caregiver.
\n<\/em><\/strong>
\nThe story you just read is part of my new book, HANDS FREE LIFE<\/a>, in association with Chapter\u00a0#3: Build a Foundation. The three practical\u00a0habits\u00a0outlined in this chapter\u00a0illustrate how to\u00a0build strong internal foundations in our children despite societal pressures, the overabundance of technology, and everyday challenges. \u00a0My new book, HANDS FREE LIFE: 9 Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better, & Loving More<\/a>, released on September 8 and was an instant #1 bestseller on Amazon in three categories: Inspiration, Family Relationships, and Women\u2019s Studies. In addition to\u00a0Amazon<\/a>, Barnes & Noble<\/a>, it is\u00a0now available at Target stores just in time for the holidays. To see how the\u00a0book is changing people\u2019s lives, read any of the Amazon customer reviews<\/a>. I'd be grateful if you would consider my book for your holiday gift list for yourself or someone you care about. It has the potential to bring renewed\u00a0peace, presence, and love to 2016.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

* Today is the final day to receive free shipping on the ONLY LOVE TODAY bracelets<\/a>, as well as all the items in the Hands Free\u00a0shop<\/a>. Many families are using The Hands Free Pledge<\/a> and The Hands Free House Rules<\/a> to be more intentional with their time, energy, and presence. Use the code: FREEFALLSHIP at checkout for free shipping on domestic orders and discounted shipping on international orders.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you for being a part of The Hands Free Revolution<\/a>. \u00a0Together, there is so much hope.
\n<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The term cyber-bullying sounds so futuristic \u2026 so foreign \u2026 and so far-off. \u00a0When I heard the word about a year ago, I thought I had plenty of time before this type of threat could touch my family. Part of me wanted to believe we could avoid it altogether\u2014that it was something that happened to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[1135,1132,890,1136,1130,1131,1546,1421,1133,1137,1134],"gutentor_comment":47,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1uD","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5743"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5743"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5743\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5743"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5743"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5743"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}