{"id":6161,"date":"2014-12-31T05:52:54","date_gmt":"2014-12-31T11:52:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=6161"},"modified":"2017-01-02T15:49:13","modified_gmt":"2017-01-02T21:49:13","slug":"a-question-to-live-by","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2014\/12\/31\/a-question-to-live-by\/","title":{"rendered":"A Question to Live By"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"small<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cEverything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.\u201d \u2013Fernando Sabino<\/em><\/p>\n

I was standing over the shrimp dip when a family friend approached me. Although he was known to ask thought-provoking questions, and this was<\/em> my going away party, I was not expecting this one. \u201cSo once you get settled in your new home, what do you imagine that moment will look like when you feel like everything is going turn out okay?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

In one mere sentence my friend went straight to my greatest fears, my greatest insecurities, and my greatest hopes. Funny thing is, I knew the answer to his question. I\u2019d envisioned it a thousand times as I\u2019d prepared our home to be emptied. Tears began dripping my face. An unsightly sea of mascara, I was sure, but I could not stop the tears if I tried. My friend didn\u2019t act like it was any big deal. His wife, who is also my dear friend, had probably exposed him to spontaneous sobbing a few times. My friend just waited. Then he listened.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen my children come home from school and say, \u2018I met a friend today, Mama.\u2019 That is when I know it\u2019s gonna be okay. One friend makes the whole world better, you know. One friend for each girl. That is the moment,\u201d I replied. Then I dabbed my eyes with a yellow party napkin and smiled because friends like that just make you smile even when you\u2019re crying.<\/p>\n

I thought that conversation concluded over appetizers and farewell hugs, but it didn\u2019t. For the past two months, that conversation has continued in my head.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

As I pulled away from our old house, car loaded, and deafening silence from the little people in the back seat, I drove straight into a torrential rain storm. Well, this is definitely not The Moment! <\/em>I screamed in my head, sad and angry and unable to see the yellow line through tears and rainwater.<\/p>\n

A few weeks later, my friend\u2019s question came to mind when my daughters\u2019 best friends came for a weeklong visit and nearly knocked them down with hugs and squeals. This is The Moment! Yep! Everything is going to be okay.<\/em> I sighed with relief.<\/p>\n

But then a few days later we watched fireworks in an unfamiliar place surrounded by strangers and every boom made my child shudder and moan, \u201cI want to go back home\u2014our real home.\u201d This sure isn\u2019t The Moment<\/em>! I thought with frustration.<\/p>\n

And then Meet-the-Teacher day happened and my child was lovingly noticed by the P.E. teacher<\/a> and introduced to the sweet principal and associate principal. Now this is The Moment!<\/em> I thought leaping for joy.<\/p>\n

But the next day it was swim team suit try-on day in a crowded locker room with no air conditioning. So sweaty. Too small. New team. Missing old team. Tears. Homesick. Definitely Not The Moment.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hmmm. I thought. What\u2019s the deal? When will it be THE moment everything\u2019s gonna be okay?<\/p>\n

That\u2019s about the time my younger daughter, Avery, got off the school bus with a miniature notebook hanging from her neck with\u00a0a long, green ribbon.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d I asked secretly delighted to see my child not just carrying, but actually wearing, one of my favorite objects in the whole entire world. By the look of sheer joy on my face, she may as well have been carrying a tray of Godiva chocolates or round-trip tickets to a tropical island.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is my Tiny Topics Notebook. Our teacher wants us to write down small moments in our life,\u201d she said matter-of-factly while holding out the leopard print covered pad for me to see.<\/p>\n

Is this for real? I thought happily. A Tiny Topics Notebook! Could there be anything cuter? I was practically salivating now. If Rachel Stafford knew anything, she knew about Small Moments and Small Notebooks. My speechlessness must have led Avery to believe she needed to elaborate. \u201cOur notebook is going to help us write stories \u2026 you know, Mama,\u201d she said in a tone that sounded a lot like \u2018duh.\u2019<\/p>\n

Avery knows about my ridiculous collection of small notebooks with pages and pages filled with important scribbles. She knows they are kept with my most important documents and can never be thrown away. Avery knows I wear an utterly tasteless fanny pack when I take walks so I don\u2019t miss documenting any ideas. It\u2019s creative writing at the most unstylish level. Truly. But a second grader with a miniature notebook strapped around her neck is a whole different matter. It is adorable. For days, Avery wore that thing around. Pushing her glasses up on her nose as she jotted down important little details when the mood struck her.<\/p>\n

I was dying to know what was inside that flip pad that fit perfectly in her little hand. One night as I was tucking Avery in bed, I asked if I could read her Tiny Topics Notebook that she placed next to her bed each night. Avery said yes and gave me permission to share. Each page held one idea:<\/p>\n

\u201cmoveing to a new place\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cplaying a song called Peace on my guitar\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cgoing to a new school\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cvisiting a water park\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI got nurves in swiming and I could not swim.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cpainting nails with my sister\u201d<\/p>\n

\"small<\/a><\/p>\n

Of course in my head, you know what I was adding to each detail, right? This was Not The Moment. This was The Moment. This was Not The Moment. This was The Moment. Because of course, little people have Moments and Not Moments too.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese are all very important details,\u201d I said proudly. \u201cI like how you write about the hard moments as well as the happy ones,\u201d I added as I carefully placed the notebook back in its special spot next to her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, sometimes there are bad moments, but if I keep looking, there\u2019s always a good one that pops up. So I keep on looking.\u201d Just when I thought that little notebook couldn\u2019t get any more precious, that little author of mine spoke those very wise and hopeful words.<\/p>\n

I instantly knew that Avery and I had two people we must thank. I would have to thank my friend back home. His question had served as my Tiny Topics Notebook. The act of looking for The Moment and distinguishing it from Not The Moment became a practice of expectancy and hope during a difficult transition for me. We would also have to thank Avery\u2019s teacher. Through this journaling process, the hard moments were less discouraging because Avery realized a good moment was bound to come if she kept on noticing.<\/p>\n

And now I hope to help you. Pretend we\u2019re talking over an insanely delicious chip\u00a0dip or the best guacamole you ever tasted and you have your favorite adult beverage in hand. And let\u2019s pretend I ask you a question. Pick the one that makes you stop for a moment and maybe even makes you tear up a little.<\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when that long-held resentment begins to wane?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when you begin to love yourself \u201cas is\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when you begin choosing calm reactions over angry outbursts?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when you stop delaying your life with \u201cas soon as I \u2026\u201d and start living now?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will be that moment look like when you begin to move forward and stop looking back?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when you stop putting off your dream and take the first step?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when you decide to live by heart and not by outside pressures and opinions?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when you forgive yourself?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

What will that moment look like when you start\u00a0to believe things are going to turn out okay?<\/em><\/p>\n

I hope one of those questions becomes an on-going conversation in your head over the next few weeks, months, or even years. And I hope it inspires you to keep looking. Because there is something to be said for preparing your head and your heart for That Moment \u2026<\/p>\n

In the act of looking for That Moment, it becomes a real possibility rather than a far-fetched dream.<\/p>\n

In the act of looking for That Moment, you find it is not a single moment, but rather a meaningful collection of moments that keep fueling you forward.<\/p>\n

In the act of looking for That Moment, you gather the courage to keep showing up,\u00a0even when it\u2019s scary, even when it's hard, even when\u00a0it hurts.<\/p>\n

In the act of looking for That Moment, it has less chance of passing you by.<\/p>\n

Last Sunday my family walked into a new church with new friends \u2026 new friends we met through a recent blog post<\/a> \u2026 \u2026 new friends who said, \u201cIt seems like we were best friends before and then we got amnesia and found each other again.\u201d That kind of friend. And there was one for each girl. And there was even one for me.<\/p>\n

It was The Moment alright. Maybe it was even The Best One so far. But in any case, I will keep looking for more moments. After all, there are many tiny notebooks to fill.<\/p>\n

\"small<\/a><\/p>\n

***********************************<\/p>\n

Dear friends of the Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, many of you have expressed interest in hearing me speak about my truths and strategies to overcome distraction and grasp the moments that matter. Well, today I am delighted to share this soul-bearing interview<\/a> I recently had with nationally acclaimed author and speaker John O\u2019Leary on his LIVE INSPIRED Podcast<\/a>. In this interview, we touch on combatting the inner bully, overcoming negative body image, creating healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy, and redefining success. If you don\u2019t have time to listen now, check out the The LIVE INSPIRED 7 <\/a>which is a series of 7 questions, shared \u201crapid fire\u201d and answered boldly (without prep!) by John\u2019s guests. His hope is to leave you reflecting on my answers and YOUR answers. May the truths and tools I share today\u2019s show help you live an inspired life in 2017! Thanks for being part of\u00a0The Hands Free Revolution! I am coming to Jupiter, FL next month (February 2017) to the THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER<\/a> conference! Early bird ticketing still available. Click here<\/a> for more info. \u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cEverything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.\u201d \u2013Fernando Sabino I was standing over the shrimp dip when a family friend approached me. Although he was known to ask thought-provoking questions, and this was my going away party, I was not expecting this one. \u201cSo once you get […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1742,1741],"tags":[1285,1287,437,1288,49,1289,46,1286],"gutentor_comment":2,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1Bn","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6161"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6161"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6161\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}