{"id":6209,"date":"2014-11-03T06:56:11","date_gmt":"2014-11-03T12:56:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=6209"},"modified":"2014-11-18T07:04:19","modified_gmt":"2014-11-18T13:04:19","slug":"to-build-or-crush-a-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2014\/11\/03\/to-build-or-crush-a-dream\/","title":{"rendered":"To Build (or Crush) a Dream"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"dreamer<\/a>
\nThere is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. -R. Buckminster Fuller<\/em><\/p>\n

When I get in front of a classroom of children, I am home. I was a special education teacher for ten years before I became a full-time author and speaker. On occasion, my two passions\u2014writing and teaching children\u2014collide. I go into these situations on high alert. If there is ever a time to pay very close attention, it is in a classroom. Because if I do, I know I will be the one to walk away educated and inspired.<\/p>\n

Recently I had the opportunity to speak at my daughters\u2019 new school. I was prepared to be enlightened. I was not disappointed.<\/p>\n

This is my story …<\/p>\n

My presentation for both second and fifth graders consisted of two parts. The first part described the steps I took to achieve my childhood dream of becoming a published author. The second part of my presentation was a lesson and group exercise on descriptive writing.<\/p>\n

As I spoke to the children, my teacher training quickly spotted the ones who were having trouble sitting still … the ones who were weary to raise their hands but clearly had something to say \u2026 the ones who were fiddling with something inside their desk, perhaps thinking of their own passions. I tried to draw the children out, sustain their attention, and create a safe environment where all ideas were accepted and respected. When it was time for the students to craft their own sentences, I was pleased that most of them looked comfortable and engaged.<\/p>\n

As the students worked quietly, I was able to interact individually with each one. Their unique personalities surfaced during these brief exchanges\u2014their comments and posture revealing details about their life experiences, their confidence, and their strengths.<\/p>\n

As I was preparing to leave the fifth grade classroom, a boy asked for my autograph. This idea started a trend. As the children lined up with blank notebook paper in hand, I felt compelled to write more than my name or \u201cLive Hands Free.\u201d In black Sharpie I wrote, \u201cGo after your dreams!\u201d Then I paused and asked each child, \u201cWhat is your dream?\u201d<\/p>\n

Every single child had an answer.
\nThere were no hesitations.
\nThere were no duplications.<\/p>\n

Every single child, no matter how reserved or how outgoing \u2026 no matter how serious or how silly \u2026 no matter how neat or disheveled, had a dream. And more importantly, every child had a twinkle in the eye when speaking about it.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Veterinarian
\nActress
\nMajor League Baseball player
\nReporter
\nA scientist that cures cancer
\nA kind person who helps others
\nA chef
\nA marine biologist<\/p>\n

One after the other, I heard very specific dreams. I saw sparks of energy fly. I felt ripples of passion spread. As a teacher, I was often privy to children\u2019s dreams, but this time it was different. Hearing these aspirations as someone who\u2019d achieved her own dream made a profound difference. These aspirations weren\u2019t just words. They were power. They were possibilities. They were music of the heart.<\/p>\n

\"dreamer<\/a>
\nAs I handed each child an autographed paper, I said a silent prayer. I prayed that each one would feel supported and encouraged in their pursuits, no matter how outlandish they sounded.<\/p>\n

Naturally, I thought of my own fifth grade daughter. She\u2019d recently become very interested in becoming an orthopedic surgeon. The first time she mentioned it, I wanted to tell her that she\u2019d have to earn high grades and test scores. I wanted to tell her about the strong stomach she\u2019d have to have for broken bones and blood. I wanted to tell her of sacrifices she would have to make to study and pay for medical school. Me, the planner and the practical thinker, wanted to quickly point out all these things I \u201cknew\u201d about becoming a doctor. But for some reason, I didn\u2019t. I bit my tongue and listened. My daughter went on to talk about her new interest for nearly an hour that day. I couldn\u2019t remember when I\u2019d seen her this excited about something. I was thankful I didn\u2019t discourage her with facts and warnings.<\/p>\n

Since that conversation, I\u2019ve watched my daughter\u2019s interest in the medical field grow. She\u2019s been pouring through medical textbooks we purchased from the used bookstore. She\u2019s created a medical field journal where she jots down observations and information. We visited the natural science museum to see a display on the human body. She\u2019s been watching surgeries on television with genuine interest.<\/p>\n

\"dreamer<\/a>
\nI recently found a friend\u2019s business card on the desk in my daughter\u2019s bedroom. My child had\u00a0scratched out the original name on the card and put her own name. Beneath her name, she wrote, \u201cFuture Orthopedic Surgeon.\u201d<\/p>\n

I must admit, seeing it there in blue ballpoint pen in my child\u2019s best penmanship made it looked like a real possibility. As I propped it up on her desk beneath her swim team goals and notes of encouragement, a powerful realization came to my mind:<\/p>\n

There will be plenty of obstacles between my child and her dream, but I will not be one of them.<\/p>\n

The words, \u201cI don\u2019t think you can do that,\u201d are not going to come from my lips.<\/p>\n

Because how do I really know? How do I know what my child can and cannot achieve?<\/p>\n

And then a harsh reality about achieving my own dream hit me:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretty sure if eight-year-old Rachel had said, \u201cI am going to be a New York Times Bestselling Author someday,\u201d there would have been a long line of people shaking their heads and more snickers than I could count. Simply voicing my goal of becoming a published author a few years ago was often met with doubt and many unsolicited doses of reality.<\/p>\n

I was often warned that very few people ever land a book deal. I was reminded that electronic books have changed the publishing industry all together. I lost track of how many people told me it was necessary to know someone in the business to get published. Sometimes when I voiced my dream it was met with no words at all; yet the look on the person\u2019s face said it all.<\/p>\n

Once in awhile I was given encouragement. \u201cI believe in you,\u201d were my all-time favorite words. I remember the names of those who said that to me. Because those words were like fuel to a hot air balloon\u2014lifting me up so I could soar.<\/p>\n

Going through this experience provided an unequivocal confirmation of what role I wanted to play for other people. I realized I have the power to be a Dream Crusher<\/em> or a Dream Builder<\/em>. I\u2019ve chosen the latter.<\/p>\n

\"classroom<\/a>
\nAfter signing thirty-one autographs in the fifth grade classroom that day, I gathered my things to leave. A young lady who\u2019d been quietly observing suddenly came forward. She asked me to sign two papers\u2014one for her mother and one for her. This child didn\u2019t have to tell me of her struggles; I could see. She whispered her dream into my ear. It was a beautiful dream. On her paper I signed, \u201cI believe in you,\u201d and then held up my hand for a high five.<\/p>\n

I didn't let her hand go right away. I held on for a moment. I\u2019d touched my dream, and I hoped and prayed she would someday touch hers.<\/p>\n

I conclude today\u2019s post with a message inspired by many hours spent in the classroom with many extraordinary individuals. May it help you encourage someone else\u2019s not-so-impossible dream \u2026<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Change, Extraordinary One<\/strong><\/p>\n

They say he\u2019s too quiet.
\nThey say she\u2019s too inquisitive.
\nThey say he\u2019s too energetic.
\nThey say she\u2019s too sensitive.
\nThey say he\u2019s too absent-minded.<\/p>\n

They say these things thinking it will help,
\nBut it doesn\u2019t really.
\nIt only causes worry and the pressure to conform.
\nThe truth is, changing would be a tragedy.<\/p>\n

Because when they say \u201ctoo quiet,\u201d
\nI see introspection.
\nDon\u2019t change, thoughtful one.
\nYou\u2019re gonna bring quiet wisdom to the chaos.<\/p>\n

Because when they say \u201dtoo inquisitive,\u201d
\nI see problem solving.
\nDon\u2019t change, little thinker.
\nYou\u2019re gonna bring answers to the toughest questions.<\/p>\n

Because when they say \u201ctoo energetic,\u201d
\nI see vitality.
\nDon\u2019t change, lively one.
\nYou\u2019re gonna bring love and laughter to desperate times.<\/p>\n

Because when they say \u201ctoo sensitive,\u201d
\nI see heart.
\nDon\u2019t change, deep feeler.
\nYou\u2019re gonna bring compassion to hurting souls.<\/p>\n

Because when they say \u201ctoo absent-minded,\u201d
\nI see creativity.
\nDon\u2019t change, artistic dreamer.
\nYou\u2019re gonna bring color to lifeless spaces.<\/p>\n

They might say change is needed.
\nBut I ask that they look a little deeper and observe a little longer.
\nFrom where I stand, these individuals are just as they should be \u2026
\nOn their path to bring the world exactly what it needs to thrive.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t change, extraordinary one.
\nYou\u2019re gonna light this place up.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 Rachel Macy Stafford 2014<\/p>\n

\"dreamer<\/a><\/p>\n

***********************************<\/p>\n

I realize this blog post may draw criticism from those who believe it is important to be realistic and practical when a child voices a lofty aspiration. I understand and respect that opinion. My children are eight and eleven. Right now I find it greatly beneficial to allow them to pursue what makes their hearts come alive. If they ask me questions about requirements for desired jobs or talents, we research the answers together and I try to let them draw their own conclusions as much as possible. As I think back to painful conversations with both my volleyball coach and an academic advisor, I realize I was given the \u201cyou don\u2019t cut it\u201d message from people outside of my parents. This was significant to me and will serve as my guide as I support my children in their endeavors. I welcome your comments and experiences below.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Friends, this week I have the honor of speaking about my forthcoming book, Hands Free Life<\/a>, at a national sales conference with my children joining me in this special experience. Since my focus will be on making memories with my kids and helping others through my writings, The Hands Free Revolution page<\/a> and this blog will be quiet for a spell. Thank you for being my faithful companions on this journey to live more & love more in the time we are given! \u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

*In the meantime, please check out these extraordinarily talented people who have helped me touch my dream:<\/p>\n

Christi McGuire<\/a> for all things in need of editing, polishing, & publishing guidance<\/p>\n

Blogger Boutique\u00a0<\/a>for all things blog design related<\/p>\n

JuiceBox Designs<\/a> for all things logo, branding, and book covering<\/p>\n

For the Love of Letters<\/a>\u00a0for all things hand-lettered<\/p>\n

Oliver\u2019s Twist<\/a> for all things paper & art & technology combined<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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