{"id":6299,"date":"2015-01-26T07:28:10","date_gmt":"2015-01-26T13:28:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=6299"},"modified":"2015-02-02T07:23:12","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T13:23:12","slug":"a-moment-longer-than-necessary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2015\/01\/26\/a-moment-longer-than-necessary\/","title":{"rendered":"A Moment Longer Than Necessary"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

\u201cGratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.\u201d ~ William Arthur Ward<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

While growing up, I periodically told my sister something I never told anyone else.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think I\u2019m going to die young,\u201d I\u2019d tell her matter-of-factly long before the popular song<\/a> made such a dismal fate sound glamorous.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t say that, Rachel!\u201d she protested the first time I said it. But after that initial disclosure, my sister seemed to get used to me saying it, especially around my birthday each year. By my twenties, my sister\u2019s reaction to my depressing prediction was always compassionate and often inquisitive.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Why do you think that, Rachel?\u201d she asked me as we drove to the mall on a bitter cold January day to shop for my 22nd birthday gift.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t know why. All I knew is that I could envision my demise like an intense movie trailer. In my 30-second preview, I could see I was around 33 or 34 years old and it happened on an Interstate.<\/p>\n

Much to my dismay, my husband and I moved from Indiana\u2019s slow country roads to Florida\u2019s six-lane super highways right before I turned thirty. Naturally, that time in my life held a subtle sense of foreboding. To add to my worries, it was necessary to travel on I-75 to get to many places I needed to go.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d driven on plenty of Interstates in the Midwest, but this particular thoroughfare was different. It was faster. It was bumper-to-bumper. There was no shortage of intimidating eighteen-wheelers barreling past. And no matter what time of day it was, I could always count on seeing numerous roadside accidents. By age thirty-two, I had a precious baby in the backseat of the car as I drove that 12-mile stretch. I remember my hands becoming so sweaty that I could barely grip the steering wheel. I remember praying the entire way, hoping that particular trip would not be my last.<\/p>\n

But here is where the goodness came in \u2026<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

When I got to my destination, I promptly removed Natalie from her car seat and held her for a moment\u2014a moment longer than necessary\u2014and let gratitude wash over me. No matter how stressful it had been to get out the door \u2026 no matter how much she'd screamed in that car seat \u2026 no matter how homesick I felt to see my family and friends three thousand miles away \u2026 no matter how uncomfortable I felt in my post-baby body \u2026 no matter how late we already were, the only thing I could feel in that moment was gratitude.<\/p>\n

Gratitude undivided
\nGratitude wholehearted
\nGratitude all encompassing\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In that moment, I was most accepting of my life as it was, even though it wasn\u2019t perfect.<\/p>\n

In that moment, I was most accepting of who I was, even though I wasn\u2019t perfect.<\/p>\n

In that moment, I was most thankful to be alive.<\/p>\n

Gratitude undivided\u2014it has the power to strip away the bad so you all you feel is the good.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I am now in my forties. I don\u2019t speak dismal predictions about my life anymore, but I still try to capture that perspective-altering type of gratitude every chance I get. Notice I use the word \u201ccapture\u201d because I believe gratitude doesn\u2019t find us; I believe we find it.<\/p>\n

As odd as it may sound, I find gratitude each morning while making beds. When I come around to my husband\u2019s side of the bed and pull up the covers \u2026 when I go into Natalie\u2019s room and peel back her fluffy blanket in sea foam green \u2026 when I go into Avery\u2019s room and move her beloved collection of stuffed animals, I always place my hand beneath the covers until I feel the warm spot. And when do, this is what comes to mind:<\/p>\n

\"bed<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes when I am making the bed after you\u2019ve gone,
\nI can still feel your warmth.<\/p>\n

And if I hold my hand there for just a moment
\nThis action has the power to
\nChange my attitude,
\nAlter my perspective,
\nSoften my heart,
\nAbout bed making
\nBath giving
\nLego dodging
\nFood prepping
\nStain removing
\nCar shuttling
\nHomework checking
\nPeace keeping
\nAnd other monotonous tasks
\nThat consume the minutes of my one precious life.<\/p>\n

That warm spot where you peacefully slept
\nIs my reminder
\nThat gratitude won\u2019t find me.
\nBut I can find it
\nEven among tangled sheets and strewn pajamas pants
\nIf I rest my hand there long enough to feel it.<\/p>\n

And for one brief moment, I forget I am making a bed
\nAnd I remember instead that it is me
\nWho gets to feel your warmth
\nEach and every day,
\nEven when you are away.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I find gratitude
\nChanging my perspective
\nAbout my one precious life and what makes it so precious.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I find gratitude
\nStripping away the bad
\nSo all I feel is the good.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I find gratitude
\nReminding me that I can feel thankful simply because I\u2019m alive
\nIf I hold on a moment longer than necessary.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00a9\u00a0Rachel Macy Stafford 2015<\/p>\n

\"birthday<\/a><\/p>\n

************************************************<\/p>\n

Friends, this is my birthday week and I am grateful to have lived to see 43. I am incredibly grateful that at age 42, I was blessed to become a published author<\/a> with an incredibly supportive community to read the words that I write. In celebration of our journey together and my 43rd<\/sup> birthday, I have a gift for you \u2026<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Several years ago when I began blogging, I stumbled on Dear Audrey.<\/a> I cannot remember how I found this blog, but I instantly knew I would come back again and again. I felt as if I was reading something very private that I should not be allowed to read. Julia\u2019s exquisitely delivered words brought tears to my eyes and what really mattered to the forefront of my mind. I began to leave supportive comments to Julia who had unexpectedly lost her husband and was trying to go on for the sake of her daughter Audrey. My words always seemed insufficient, but I found out years later that even my awkward messages had meant something to her. Julia saw one of my pieces on The Huffington Post<\/a> and reached out to me. Much to my delight, she was still writing and just recently started a new blog called\u00a0Studies in Hope<\/a>. Isn\u2019t that beautiful? Be prepared to read life-changing words that will open your eyes and heart a little wider. Here are my three favorites to get you started:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Here I Am
\n<\/a>This is For You
\n<\/a><\/span><\/i><\/b>Buying Flowers\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/a><\/p>\n

Recommended resources for cultivating everyday gratitude:
\n<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span>It didn't occur to me that some of the practices I use to grasp what matters like the one I described in today\u2019s post could be meditative until my friends at Everyday Mindfulness<\/a> asked if I meditated. I didn\u2019t think I did, but my friend Shawn Ledington Fink<\/a> has me re-thinking that: \u201c<\/span><\/i><\/b>You don\u2019t have to sit on a cushion for hours to stay awake and be mindful. You can simply focus on each moment of your day as if it\u2019s your last.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I love these six ways to put yourself fully in the moment<\/a> by Shaun.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/i><\/b>I also found Mindfulness & the Power of Appreciation<\/a> by Alex Radcliffe to be incredibly enlightening.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Friends, do you have any practices that result in feeling Gratitude Undivided? Thank you for sharing your stories as well as your struggles. We can learn so much from each other. Thanks for being part of The Hands Free Revolution<\/a> community. You are truly a blessing to me.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

** The ONLY LOVE TODAY handmade leather bracelets<\/a> are back in stock!\u00a0As I mentioned last week, my sister-in-law is the amazing force behind the Hands Free Shop<\/a> and is expecting her new baby any moment now. Delivery of your items might be slightly slower than usual for this reason. Thank you so much for your patience & support!\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  While growing up, I periodically told my sister something I never told anyone else.\u00a0 \u201cI think I\u2019m going to die young,\u201d I\u2019d tell her matter-of-factly long before the popular song made such a dismal fate sound glamorous. \u201cDon\u2019t say that, Rachel!\u201d she protested the first time I said it. But after that initial disclosure, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[246],"tags":[1374,1375,1377,1376,49],"gutentor_comment":0,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1DB","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6299"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6299"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6299\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}