![\"choose](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/choose-love-challenge-2-e1443113772689.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
* On September 22, I posted a passage\u00a0on The Hands Free Revolution page<\/a>\u00a0illustrating how ‘Choosing Love' as a first response\u00a0might play out in a typical day. The concept deeply resonated with many people. I've added it to this post and decided now was the perfect\u00a0time to bring back this transformative 21-day challenge. Let love start this day. Let love end this day. Let love transform the minutes in between\u00a0\u2026 I never know where interviews are going to take me \u2013 but I can almost always be sure they will take me back\u2014back in time. And although most days I try my best to look forward, sometimes it\u2019s enlightening to reflect back and see something I can only see with time. This is my story, as well as a challenge, should you choose to accept.<\/p>\n It was this, the second to last question during my interview<\/a> on Better Worldians Radio that stirred something inside me:\u00a0\u201cWith the success of your book and popularity of your website I imagine you could be busier than ever. How do you keep the balance and keep living Hands Free?\u201d asked Gregory, one of the show\u2019s hosts.<\/p>\n I briefly described several strategies I used when I began my journey that are still in practice today. Wanting to place emphasis on what I feel is the most important one, practicing daily distraction-free rituals, I shared this story \u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The night before the Hands Free Mama<\/em><\/a> manuscript was due to my publisher I was working furiously to meet my deadline. My parents had come from Florida to help me any way they could.<\/p>\n It was around 8:30 p.m. and I was bent over the keyboard surrounded by empty soda cans, crumpled papers, and used sticky notes.<\/p>\n I felt my mom gently touch my arm. She\u2019d just come from my older daughter\u2019s bedroom. \u201cNatalie requested her nightly Talk Time, Rachel,\u201d she whispered softly.<\/p>\n Without hesitation, I got up from my work and headed straight toward Natalie\u2019s room.<\/p>\n Suddenly my mom called out after me, neither of us knowing that what she was about to say would become one of my greatest Hands Free motivators. \u201cI tried to tell Natalie that you had a lot of work to do tonight but she adamantly said, \u2018Grandma, Mama always comes.\u201d<\/p>\n Mama always comes.<\/em><\/p>\n I stopped midway up the stairs in an effort to wrap both my brain and hands around those sacred words and accept them as mine.<\/p>\n It hadn\u2019t always been that way, you see. But somewhere along my Hands Free journey, I'd become someone my child could count on to come to her bedside each night to talk\u2014no matter what.<\/p>\n As my radio interview began to wrap up, I was amazed that out of all the things the host could reiterate from our hour-long discussion, he chose this:<\/p>\n \u201cI think these three words are words we all want to hear sometime in our life, even just once: \u2018Mama always comes.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Hearing the interviewer say those words made me feel just like I did when my mom spoke them that very first time. I was crying now. I desperately hoped the show\u2019s listeners could not sense that I\u2019d become a blubbering mess. With tears dripping down my face, I realized something I could only know now looking back in retrospect:<\/p>\n I could have easily kept working the night my daughter asked for Talk Time, but I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Why? Why did I not explain that I was under a tight deadline and it would all be over the next day? Why did I not mention that my author advance and reputation were riding on a punctual submission? Why did I not quickly run upstairs and give Natalie a kiss and promise we\u2019d have Talk Time in the morning?<\/p>\n Of all the times I could have said, \u201cNot tonight,\u201d I didn\u2019t. Why?<\/p>\n Because I chose love<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Just like I did the night before \u2026 and the night before that \u2026 and the night before that \u2026 and the many nights before that.<\/p>\n I chose love that night just like I did on the very first day of my journey when I had no idea how to transform my distracted, joyless, maxed-out life into one of meaningful connection and peace. I wasn\u2019t sure of anything that initial day of my journey except that love was the right choice. Love could never be the wrong choice.<\/p>\n But here\u2019s the most critical element, the piece that made this choice a doable, repeatable action that stuck:<\/p>\n Sometimes I showed up to love without a smile. Despite the obstacles \u2026 despite the excuses I could\u2019ve made \u2026 despite the pressures and distractions of the outside world \u2026 despite the mean voice of my inner critic, I continually showed up to love.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n Because I never left the same way I arrived.<\/strong><\/p>\n I always walked away a little lighter \u2026 a little more at peace \u2026 a little more hopeful \u2026 a little more grateful \u2026 a little more joyful. Love was always the right choice. I never once regretted choosing love over all else.<\/p>\n So I showed up to love again Making it a habitual practice to choose love changed my inner fiber, the wiring of my brain, and my entire life perspective regarding what was important. Thus, I\u2019ve come to believe there is one single action that has the power to transform negativity to positivity \u2026 distraction to presence \u2026 disconnection to connection: Choosing love\u2014choosing love as much as you humanly can.<\/p>\n On any given day, there\u2019s probably 101 things running through your mind\u2014from what you need to do \u2026 to what you should do \u2026 to what you didn\u2019t do \u2026 to what you wish you would\u2019ve done. I know because this was me. It was exhausting. I felt like I was failing a lot.\u00a0Now I try to go with one action over and over and over. This singular action helps me focus on what matters and let go of what doesn\u2019t. It helps me make better choices and move on when I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n Every minute of every day, I try to CHOOSE LOVE\u2014two transformative words that become ingrained with repetition.\u00a0Let me show you how CHOOSING LOVE could play out in a typical day:<\/p>\n 1. Wake up. Mind starts racing. So much to do. So tired. Instead of reaching for the phone or grumbling about all there is to do, think: CHOOSE LOVE.<\/p>\n It might sound like this: Today is a new day. I am thankful I have been given this gift. My goal is to get out of bed and greet myself and my family with love. Love is how I will start this day.<\/em><\/p>\n 2. Child not getting ready. Frustration rises. Instead of threatening or yelling, think: CHOOSE LOVE.<\/p>\n It might sound like this: How can I help? Let\u2019s set a timer. How quickly do you think you can do clothes, shoes, backpack? Okay, let\u2019s do it. On your mark, get set, GO!<\/em><\/p>\n 3. Traffic is horrendous. You are going to be late. The whole day is going to be off. Instead of cursing, reaching for the phone, or making a dangerous U-turn, think: CHOOSE LOVE.<\/p>\n It might sound like this: I have just been given uninterrupted time. I will take this time to breathe. I will ask my child to sing me a song. I will listen to that voice and know it won\u2019t always sound like this. I will take this moment of frustration and turn it into gratitude. It might sound like this: Their negative response is not about me. It is about them. I refuse to let their toxicity contaminate my day, my job, or my life. I will smile and let it go.<\/em><\/p>\n 5. Perform your duty\/assignment, and it is not as good as you\u2019d like. Instead of berating yourself or trying to make it perfect, think: CHOOSE LOVE. 6. Evening packed with sports, meetings, dinner, and homework. Instead of bemoaning your chaotic, crazy life, think: CHOOSE LOVE.<\/p>\n It might look like this: Sometimes it is hard to be here. Tonight is one of those nights. But I am needed. Tonight I will focus on the smile I receive when my loved one spots me on the sidelines. Tonight I will focus on the sound of contentment I hear when my loved one digs into the meal I prepared. Tonight I will focus on the goodnight kiss that is offered to me. I am needed. I am loved. I am here.<\/em><\/p>\n 7. Fall into bed. Mind starts racing. Instead of reviewing mistakes, failings, and what you didn\u2019t accomplish today, think: CHOOSE LOVE.<\/p>\n Think of all the times you chose love today. And even if it was only once, celebrate it. In the midst of chaos, inconvenience, frustration, and crabby people, you chose love. With the millions of other choices you could\u2019ve made, you chose love. Love is how this day will end. My friends, consider the possibilities for a moment: What might result if love becomes your default choice for 21 straight days? What opportunities might open up? What connections might be repaired? What moments might you grasp\u00a0that otherwise might be\u00a0missed? Who might you become?<\/p>\n Instead of<\/em><\/p>\n The One Who\u2019s Always Too Busy You might just become The One You Always Wanted to Be \u2026<\/p>\n A Listener Why? Because good things start with love.<\/p>\n Just show up to love today. Then do it again.<\/p>\n *****************************<\/em><\/p>\n Friends of the Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, although I\u00a0did this challenge back in February, I feel now's the\u00a0time to do it again.\u00a0I am excited about the renewed\u00a0connection & peace\u00a0this challenge will bring to our lives over the next 21 days. If you are joining me, I\u2019d be grateful if you\u2019d you leave the words, \u201cI Choose Love<\/strong>\u201d in the comment section and share this challenge with someone else.\u00a0Let\u2019s see what transformations can happen in our relationships, our life\u2019s work, and in our own hearts if we commit to choosing love as often as we can for the next 21 days.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n As a powerful visual reminder, the\u00a0I CHOOSE LOVE bracelets<\/a> are reduced by $5 until Monday, September 28th. They are available in aqua green<\/a> & pink<\/a>. I CHOOSE LOVE also comes in a vibrant blue non-leather reminder band<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n For more Hands Free Life Daily Declarations<\/strong> like the one below, check out my new book,\u00a0HANDS FREE LIFE<\/a> , a #1 Amazon bestseller in Inspiration for 3 straight weeks. I will be doing a Hands Free Life<\/a> Q&A with Andrea Nair<\/a> & signing books at\u00a0Chapters at Square One Mall, 189 Rathburn Road, Mississauga at 7pm on September 30, 2015. \u00a0Hope to see many of my Canadian friends there!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n “Today I will choose love. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" * On September 22, I posted a passage\u00a0on The Hands Free Revolution page\u00a0illustrating how ‘Choosing Love’ as a first response\u00a0might play out in a typical day. The concept deeply resonated with many people. I’ve added it to this post and decided now was the perfect\u00a0time to bring back this transformative 21-day challenge. Let love start […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[1149,360,1378,297,49,1305],"gutentor_comment":8,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1DJ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6307"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/em><\/p>\n![\"talk](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/talk-time-2-782x600.jpg\")
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\nSometimes I showed up to love feeling ugly, worthless, and inadequate.
\nSometimes I showed up to love alone and scared.
\nSometimes I showed up to love when I didn\u2019t know what I was doing.
\nSometimes I showed up to love when it was the last thing I wanted to do.
\nSometimes I showed up to love even though I had so much to do before the day\u2019s end.
\nSometimes I showed up to love when my patience was gone.
\nSometimes I showed up to love when I had no love to give.<\/p>\n
\nAnd again
\nAnd again
\nAnd again
\nUntil one day I was known as \u2018The One Who Always Comes\u2019 to a little girl whose opinion mattered more than the world.<\/p>\n![\"closer](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/closer-than-I-was-before-2-e1412628137717.jpg\")
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\n<\/em>
\n4. Arrive at destination only to be met with criticism, judgment, or rudeness. Instead of taking it personally, wasting your precious energy, or saying something you\u2019ll later regret, think: CHOOSE LOVE.<\/p>\n
\n<\/em>
\nIt might look like this: I have spent ample time and energy on this project. It is good enough for today. My effort is enough to make a positive contribution and that is what matters.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n<\/em><\/p>\n
\nThe One Who Overreacts
\n<\/span>The One Who Never Listens
\n<\/span>The One Who Rarely Slows Down
\n<\/span>The One Who Always Looks Miserable
\n<\/span>The One Glued to the Phone
\n<\/span>The One Missing All the Fun
\n<\/span>The One Who\u2019s Given Up<\/span><\/p>\n
\nA Hugger
\nA Forgiver
\nA Take Your Timer
\nA Belly Laugher
\nA Risk Taker
\nA Silly Grinner
\nA Moment Grasper
\nA\u00a0Liver of Life<\/p>\n
\nDon\u2019t worry about what you look like or what yesterday looked like.
\nJust show up to love.
\nSomething tells me you\u2019ll walk away a little better than when you arrived.<\/p>\n![\"longer](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/longer-than-necessary-hold-1-900x600.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/em><\/strong>Tomorrow I will choose love.
\n<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>And the day after that, I will choose love.
\n<\/em>If I mistakenly choose distraction, perfection, or negativity over love, I will not wallow in regret. I will choose love next.\u00a0<\/em>I will choose love until it becomes my first response \u2026 my gut instinct \u2026 my natural reaction.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>I will choose love until it becomes who I am.”\u00a0<\/strong>
\n<\/em>-Rachel Macy Stafford\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n![\"i](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/i-choose-love-e1443110698424.jpg\")
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