{"id":6424,"date":"2015-06-02T05:18:28","date_gmt":"2015-06-02T11:18:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=6424"},"modified":"2015-06-09T22:06:35","modified_gmt":"2015-06-10T04:06:35","slug":"if-life-could-begin-again-it-might-begin-like-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2015\/06\/02\/if-life-could-begin-again-it-might-begin-like-this\/","title":{"rendered":"If Life Could Begin Again, It Might Begin Like This"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Popsicles<\/a>Just living is not enough \u2026 one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
\n<\/em>-Hans Christian Andersen<\/em><\/p>\n

Last week I shared my hopes and intentions for our children to have an All-Senses Summer<\/a><\/em>. Yet something quite unexpected happened when I described the smells, tastes, and feelings I associated with my childhood summers\u2014it inspired you to share yours. Like me, you have your own summer memories that conjure up feelings of joy \u2026 freedom \u2026 creativity \u2026 relaxation \u2026 comfort \u2026 and contentment.<\/p>\n

But things might be different now.<\/p>\n

Adult Summer<\/em> may not produce\u00a0such positive feelings.<\/p>\n

For many, Adult Summer<\/em> has its own challenges, bringing forth feelings of worry \u2026 guilt \u2026 comparison \u2026 impatience \u2026 frustration \u2026 and stress.<\/p>\n

I have to work. I wish I had more time to play with my family.
\n<\/em>I desperately need a moment of peace. I cannot breathe.
\n<\/em>I am embarrassed to wear my bathing suit. I wish my insecurities didn\u2019t hold me back.
\n<\/em>We can\u2019t afford a vacation right now. How will this be a memorable summer?
\n<\/em>Will my kids regress over the summer? We cannot afford to lose what we gained. <\/em><\/p>\n

As adults, it\u2019s not like our responsibilities disappear in the summer. It\u2019s not like we are suddenly free to do whatever we please. It\u2019s not like we are released from the stresses and burdens of our everyday lives. But Summer<\/em>. We are talking about Summer<\/em>. If we cannot find new freedoms, forgotten smiles, and more breathing room in summer, when can we find them?<\/p>\n

\"park<\/a><\/p>\n

As I read each of your beautiful summer memories and felt profound peace in your recollections, I was determined that we, as adults, should not to give up on having an All-Senses Summer.<\/em> No matter our age, no matter our family situation, no matter our life circumstance, I believe it\u2019s critical to our well being to keep making positive summer associations. And then I read this:<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.\u201d<\/em> \u2013F. Scott Fitzgerald<\/p>\n

Life is beginning over again in the summer.<\/p>\n

Life is beginning over again in the summer.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

We may have run ourselves ragged the past nine months.
\nWe may have raised our voices more than we like.
\nWe may have missed some opportunities.
\nWe may have a deficit of memories in the memory bank.
\nWe may have never experienced a fun\u00a0summer during childhood.
\nWe may have unresolved issues and low morale.
\nWe may have forgotten how to have fun.<\/p>\n

But what if that doesn\u2019t matter today?<\/p>\n

What if this summer is a new beginning for us?<\/p>\n

If we cannot begin again in summer, when can we begin again?<\/p>\n

Whether we work inside the home or outside the home \u2026 whether we have a gaggle of children or a quiet house \u2026 whether we manage stress very well or not-so-well, we all long to breathe. We all deserve<\/em> to breathe. Shouldn\u2019t summer be a time to breathe?<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0911\"<\/a>So I have an idea.<\/p>\n

Last week you embraced the list<\/a> for your children. You made your own lists. Many of you took the time to share them with me, and I was overjoyed by the things that I saw. So then I thought perhaps a list for adults would be beneficial too. Not a more to do<\/em> list. No way. But a Permission to Live<\/em> List \u2026 a Reminder to Grasp Joy<\/em> List \u2026 a Small Daily Progress<\/em> List \u2026 A Life Begins Again This Summer<\/em> List.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not get caught up in the idea that the items on the list must be checked off each day. Just aim for one. If you do one, your day could be better. If you do one for a month, your summer could be better. If you do one consistently for the whole summer, it could change your perspective \u2026 and possibly your life.<\/p>\n

I know because I\u2019ve been living out this list. It\u2019s quite different from the lists I used to live by. You see, I was once a to-do list maker of the most ferocious kind. But the most important tasks of life were never on it. Plus, I was so tied to my to-do list that I could not rest until everything was checked off. But everything was never checked off because I kept adding tasks. So there was little rest \u2026 little joy \u2026 and little connection in my days. My daily to-do list lacked what was most important in life. But things are different now.<\/p>\n

It is no longer about how much I can accomplish in a lifetime, but rather how much living and loving I can do each day. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Here is what I try to accomplish each day. Some actions are easier than others. Some happen consistently; some do not. But I keep trying. I just keep trying. As long as I am still breathing, it\u2019s not too late to keep trying.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>10 Important Things To Do Today<\/u><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Learn one new thing I didn\u2019t know about my loved one.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
      \n
    1. Ask: \u201cHow are you feeling about things?\u201d and listen\u2014really listen.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
        \n
      1. Take a 3-second pause<\/a> whenever I feel stressed out or upset.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
          \n
        1. Give one airport goodbye.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
            \n
          1. Give one eyes-light-up hello.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
              \n
            1. Swallow complaints and say a word of gratitude or encouragement instead.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
                \n
              1. Have one do-nothing-moment. (And then really do nothing.)<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
                  \n
                1. Write soul-building words<\/a> on a sticky note for my loved one to find.<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
                    \n
                  1. Save up a little patience, energy, or love. At the end of the day, give it to the people who matter most.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
                      \n
                    1. Remind myself that today matters more than yesterday.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      Extra credit (harder actions with big impact): <\/u><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n