![\"signing](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/DSC_0164-e1439674394316.jpg\")
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\u201cOwning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.\u201d My friend lost her sister to cancer four months ago. She talks about it\u2014the pain and disbelief, the pressure to move on, the things that help and the things that don\u2019t. She talks about the good days and the indescribably bad days.<\/p>\n I listen to everything she offers. I tuck it away for safekeeping. With her help, I\u2019ll know a better thing to say when someone hurts. With her help, I have some perspective on inconsequential problems when they\u2019re getting more attention than they deserve.<\/p>\n Each time my friend shares, I am struck by admiration and awe. I think to myself, she never wanted to be the messenger<\/em>; she never wanted to be an expert on grief; she never wanted to know what words, what actions bring a moment of solace to an aching soul.<\/em><\/p>\n But she is. And she does.<\/p>\n This is now my friend\u2019s story and as much as she\u2019d like to deny it, she\u2019s chosen to own it\u2014quite bravely and brilliantly, I might add.<\/p>\n I thought of my friend and her unchosen expertise when I had a CT scan in June. It was the first time I laid beneath a big scary machine and held my breath for dear life. When the machine began to inch forward slowly, I thought of my friend and her story. I wasn\u2019t sure how my story was going to play out, but I decided I would own it. Tell my close friends what I was going through. Say, \u201cI\u2019m scared,\u201d when I felt scared. Ask for help when I was in pain. Above all, I knew it was important to pay attention. So I vowed to take it all in\u2014the good and bad\u2014and perhaps discover something worth sharing in the process.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Four weeks after the CT scan that saved my left kidney<\/a> and possibly my life, I was home from the hospital. I was swollen and sore. I was groggy on pain meds. I was having trouble thinking of words. I was kind of a mess. But I had something I felt must be said. I pulled my laptop computer gingerly onto my lap and typed some words to my friends and family on social media. I remember worrying for a brief moment if there were incomplete sentences, misspelled words, and extra periods. Words were blurry through my grateful, teary eyes, but I pushed publish anyway. Here is an excerpt:<\/p>\n \u201cI am home from the hospital recovering from kidney surgery and feeling incredibly thankful to be here. It\u2019s been many months of infection and uncertainty, but I finally have peace. I am on my way to more years, more love, more life. My little public service announcement in the midst of this overwhelming gratitude is this: If you feel like something is not right in your body or mind, please don\u2019t dismiss that feeling. Make an appointment today. If you are not satisfied with the answers you get or things do not improve, keep searching. Keep asking. Keep listening. Keep going until you get answers. You are the only one who can truly look after YOU. And your people need you to be HERE.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n An interesting thing happened. Two of my neighbors contacted me over the next few weeks to tell me those words prompted them to action. One of them made an appointment regarding a persistent pain she\u2019d neglected to look into. Another friend said she\u2019d been worried about her spouse\u2019s health and my words were the perfect words to offer him.<\/p>\n I cried.<\/p>\n Though I\u00a0felt like a mess, I provided a vital message.<\/em><\/p>\n In that moment, I felt better than I had in months. The uncertainty and pain I\u2019d endured weren't all for naught. For the first time, I saw my story not a curse, but as a blessing. It was a blessing to be the messenger.<\/p>\n When all this transpired, you came to mind countless times. I have come to cherish every member of The Hands Free Revolution community<\/a> like family. Through this painful experience, I thought I could offer something that might help you see your life\u2019s mess in a new way. This is what came out in a tiny notebook<\/a> during my first walk outside after having two surgeries in one month:<\/p>\n You never wanted to know how to survive divorce. But you do.<\/p>\n You never wanted to know loss so devastating that your mind has trouble believing it\u2019s true. But you do.<\/p>\n You never wanted to know the pain of caring for a parent who doesn\u2019t remember you. But you do.<\/p>\n You never wanted to know a family could break. But you do.<\/p>\n You never wanted to know the perfect response when someone stares at your child. But you do.<\/p>\n You never wanted to know when it\u2019s time to sever the ties in order to have inner peace. But you do.<\/p>\n You do.<\/p>\n And perhaps as time has passed you\u2019ve discovered that to deny your story hurts more than the story itself.<\/p>\n So you\u2019ve chosen to own it.<\/p>\n To speak out, even when your voice shakes. You didn\u2019t ask for this story, but it\u2019s yours, and you\u2019re owning it.<\/p>\n And I thank you for that. I thank you.<\/p>\n The tears that streak your face at the most inopportune times of the day, at the most inappropriate moments, are the lines of your story. And when you own it, someone else is not alone in his or hers.<\/p>\n Though you feel like a mess, you are providing a vital message.<\/em><\/p>\n Perhaps you sit here in a mess that you haven\u2019t shared yet. Maybe you thought it had to be all figured out before you told someone. Maybe you thought it had to have a happy ending before it could all be revealed. Maybe you thought you had to have perfect punctuation and periods in all the right places for it to be seen.<\/p>\n I hope and pray you see it differently now.<\/p>\n Even if you are smack dab in the midst of your trial \u2026 even if have no idea how it\u2019s going to play out \u2026 even if it feels like you are failing miserably, your story can still resonate \u2026 it can still comfort \u2026 it can still enlighten \u2026 it can still inspire action.<\/p>\n Your jumbled mess, whether whispered as a prayer to one or shouted in desperation to thousands, could be the message someone needs right now.<\/p>\n And perhaps by sharing, your pain will ease \u2026 your hope will grow \u2026 your tomorrow will look a little bit brighter.<\/p>\n You there in your mess: Thank you for being<\/em>. Your life is a message. And through your story, there is power to save.<\/p>\n *******************************<\/p>\n Friends of The Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, you may have noticed that the comment section of the Facebook page<\/a> have become a safe haven where people freely share their stories\u2014both the struggles and triumphs of their messy lives. It is quite beautiful the way members of this community encourage people they have never met. Last week a member of this community bravely asked for help with her struggle to respond to her children in a more positive and peaceful way and shared that her children were picking up her harmful behaviors. She was initially met with a non-supportive response. Then a flood of encouragers followed, commending her for asking for help and offering their support and insight. She and I corresponded privately when I provided her with resources and strategies to create a more loving home environment. She told me she didn\u2019t know if she would ever ask for help again given the response she initially received. I promised her that by her openly asking for help, she spoke for someone else. Sure enough, I heard from another member of our community who was struggling with the same issues. Now there are two families getting the help they need because one of them shared their story. Through her life's\u00a0mess, she provides a vital message. I hope and pray she keeps asking and sharing so bravely. I'll be there to support her when she does and I know many of you will be too.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n RESOURCE<\/span> – In my latest bestseller, ONLY LOVE TODAY<\/a>, you will find short, inspiring, daily reads to reveal how to replenish your connection-starved soul. I reveal simple strategies to bring more presence, acceptance, and grace to yourself and your loved ones.\u00a0No matter what stage of life you'<\/span>re in or what challenge you face,\u00a0<\/span>ONLY LOVE TODAY<\/a> will inspire personal and relational transformation, and encourage you to build and maintain meaningful connections in an age of endless distraction and pressure. Stunning reviews<\/a> indicate this book is changing lives.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cOwning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.\u201d \u2013 Bren\u00e9 Brown My friend lost her sister to cancer four months ago. She talks about it\u2014the pain and disbelief, the pressure to move on, the things that help and the things that don\u2019t. She talks about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6524,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[1496,533,1499,484,1500,1427,1497,1428,1115,1498],"gutentor_comment":3,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/DSC_0087-e1439674361153.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1Hb","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6521"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6521"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6521\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6521"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6521"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6521"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/em>\u2013<\/em> Bren\u00e9 <\/em> Brown<\/em><\/p>\n![\"before](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/DSC_0087-e1439674361153.jpg\")
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\nYou never wanted to know the joys and heartaches of autism.
\nYou never wanted to know the signs of addiction.<\/p>\n
\nYou never wanted to know how to leave an abusive relationship.
\nYou never wanted to know it was possible to bounce back after a financial crisis.<\/p>\n
\nYou never wanted to be the strong one.
\nYou never wanted to know the car could be a safe place to cry.<\/p>\n
\nYou never wanted to know how to put the pieces back together in a new way.
\nYou never wanted to know a new normal.<\/p>\n
\nYou never wanted to know the courage it takes to ask for help.
\nYou never wanted to know how to find joy after having lost it for so long.<\/p>\n
\nYou never wanted to know how hard it is to say to yourself, \u201cEnough is enough. My loved ones deserve better. Change starts today.\u201d
\nYou never wanted to know the weight that can be lifted when you say to yourself, \u201cIt wasn\u2019t my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nTo tell the truth, even when it\u2019s not pretty.
\nTo encourage someone else, even when you can barely encourage yourself.
\nTo get up and face the world, even when you can barely look at yourself in the mirror.<\/p>\n![\"power](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/how-can-i-help--e1429282508441.jpg\")
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