{"id":6636,"date":"2015-10-28T05:34:00","date_gmt":"2015-10-28T11:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=6636"},"modified":"2015-11-03T07:07:47","modified_gmt":"2015-11-03T13:07:47","slug":"the-vacation-moments-of-everyday-life-you-might-be-missing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2015\/10\/28\/the-vacation-moments-of-everyday-life-you-might-be-missing\/","title":{"rendered":"The Vacation Moments of Everyday Life You Might Be Missing"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"what<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t realize how poorly I\u2019d been sleeping.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t realize how long that medical test kit had been sitting on my dresser waiting for my attention.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t realize how tight my shoulders were or how dark the circles under my eyes had become.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t realize how much I\u2019d missed the sound of certain people\u2019s voices, as texting had become my usual mode of communication.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t realize how much I needed to immerse myself in silence \u2026<\/p>\n

Until I did.<\/p>\n

Today I come off a two-week blogging break. It was a terrible time to go quiet. My new book<\/a> was just picked up by Target. It was being \u201ctested\u201d in stores nationwide to see how well it did last week. When I should have been tweeting, posting, and encouraging people to buy my book, I was getting my nails done by a 9-year-old with little manicure experience and carving scary faces on pumpkins.<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

My book<\/a> had just gained serious momentum, I knew going quiet\u2014no interviews, no viral posts, no podcasts, and no email\u2014would certainly not keep things going. Going quiet meant the glorious momentum would drop off. I could have pushed myself. After all, I have an impressive track record when it comes to powering through the exhaustion \u2026 ignoring the warning signs of burnout \u2026 and making excuses as to why I cannot slow down. \u201cSomeday, I\u2019ll have time to do that, \u201d slides off my lips quite well\u2014at least it used to.<\/p>\n

But \u2018someday\u2019 is nowhere to live your life. <\/em><\/strong>This I have learned.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I was once a professional putter-offer, meaning I consistently put off the best moments of life<\/em> to attend to the urgent demands of life<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Too busy to play<\/p>\n

Too busy to sit down and eat<\/p>\n

Too busy to just talk<\/p>\n

Too busy to think<\/p>\n

Too busy to breathe<\/p>\n

But in that delay of living well comes a pretty unpleasant side effect\u2014one you cannot hide. In that delay of living well, the worst side of you comes out. At least, that\u2019s how it was for me.<\/p>\n

All I have to do to remember how bad it got is look at this picture of my family.<\/p>\n

\"vacation<\/p>\n

We\u2019d rented a cabin in the mountains for a weeklong vacation. Circumstances were less than ideal, but it was safe and comfortable and my family was all there. But for three solid days, I was miserable. Nothing was good enough. Everything was inconvenient.<\/p>\n

I remember hurriedly brushing my daughter\u2019s hair one evening before we went to dinner. We had no timetable, yet I was still in an agitated rush. I\u2019d wanted her to wear something specific to dinner, but she insisted on something she picked out herself. She began to cry, and I was unsympathetic\u2014annoyed, actually\u2014as if it was her fault. As if a five-year-old could be at fault for her mother\u2019s misconstrued priorities and bad attitude.<\/p>\n

During that vacation, I was consumed by lack of Internet connection, overabundance of calories being ingested, commitments I wasn\u2019t fulfilling, and projects I needed to complete back home. It all seemed so urgent, yet I don\u2019t even remember a single detail about those duties now. That\u2019s how insignificant they were. But at the time, they were overpowering.<\/p>\n

Now here\u2019s the really tragic part:<\/p>\n

I talked my husband into leaving early.<\/p>\n

We left our dusty but cozy cabin in the mountains because my outer demands and outer approval<\/em> were more important than my inner needs and inner circle. <\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve only told one person that painful truth, and it was years after it happened. I\u2019ll never forget how my friend touched my arm gently and said, \u201cI am glad you don\u2019t shorten your vacations anymore, Rachel.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you start to shorten your vacations, you shorten your life.<\/em><\/strong> This I have learned.<\/p>\n

By \u201cvacation\u201d, I don\u2019t mean cabins, hotels, or beaches. I mean reconnection, restoration, and rejuvenation. Vacation moments can happen in your own home\u2014simply by turning off the world and turning toward your inner needs and inner circle.<\/p>\n

For the past two weeks, I stepped away from blogging and scaled back my productivity level. In return, I received:<\/p>\n

The warmth of real voice and a real face \u2026<\/p>\n

A collection of precious three-year-old nephew questions to last me for eternity \u2026<\/p>\n

The relief of finally completing a medical test I\u2019d been putting off \u2026<\/p>\n

Reading a book that was not work related \u2026<\/p>\n

Long naps with my husband \u2026<\/p>\n

Chilly fall night walks with my 9-year-old songbird \u2026<\/p>\n

Popcorn and couch time with my brown-eyed tween \u2026<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

As a result, my little Moments that Matter<\/em> notebook that had been running dry has been replenished. I haven\u2019t been able to fill it fast enough.<\/p>\n

For the first time in months, I\u2019ve slept soundly \u2026 laughed loudly \u2026 listened intently \u2026 loved deeply.<\/p>\n

It was not a good time for me to step away, but it was a necessary time<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I was beginning to fade.<\/p>\n

I was beginning to doubt.<\/p>\n

I was beginning to withdraw.<\/p>\n

I was beginning to put what was urgent in front of what was important.<\/p>\n

But instead of continuing on that damaging path by saying, \u201cSomeday, I will get back to living and loving,\u201d I said, \u201cEnough. Enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

And with two hopeful hands, I shut out the noise and darkened the screens. And just as quickly as life\u2019s distraction had threatened my health and happiness, I was able to fix my eyes on what mattered most.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0632\"<\/p>\n

When you take away what is urgent, you find what is necessary.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

My friends, let me tell you what I found is necessary <\/em><\/strong>just in case your vision is a little blurry or your heart is a little weary today:<\/p>\n

It is necessary to nurture our bodies.<\/p>\n

It is necessary to nurture our minds.<\/p>\n

It is necessary to nurture our souls.<\/p>\n

It is necessary to nurture our romantic relationships.<\/p>\n

It is necessary to nurture our parent-child bonds.<\/p>\n

It is necessary to nurture our friendships, our passions, and our faith.<\/p>\n

And if you are like me and sometimes need to be reminded of what is not necessary<\/em><\/strong>, here's some reality:<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to respond to all the emails in the inbox.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to text back immediately.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to have social media apps at your fingertips or electronic notifications turned on.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to look at the phone first thing in the morning<\/a> or right before bed.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to feel guilty when you say no.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to please others at the expense of your family or health.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to do duties at 110% proficiency level.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to clean the kitchen before sitting down.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to take a homemade baked good to the party\u2014store bought works just fine.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to wash your hair to go out\u2014a hat works just fine.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to deprive yourself of sleep to get everything accomplished.<\/p>\n

It is not necessary to deprive yourself of LIFE to get everything accomplished.<\/p>\n

Whether it\u2019s for ten minutes, ten hours, or ten days, decide it is NECESSARY to push back the world for a spell so you can tend to your inner needs and your inner circle.<\/p>\n

There will never be a \u201cgood\u201d time.<\/p>\n

But perhaps that ache in your soul or those tears on your cheeks indicate it is a necessary time<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Please take out your calendar right now and designate a little white space for Something That Is Necessary<\/em><\/strong>. I have a feeling you know what it is.<\/p>\n

Watch what happens when you use that white space for reconnecting, replenishing, and restoring. When a space is filled with someone\u2019s hand, a medical appointment you\u2019ve been putting off, an easel, a picnic, or a book in the sunshine, you will receive immediate confirmation. You\u2019ll know it was the right thing to do with that sacred space. You\u2019ll hear yourself laugh or cry or exhale and you will say, \u201cI didn\u2019t know how much I needed this \u2026 but I do now; I do now \u2026 I\u2019ll try not to forget.\u201d<\/p>\n

We cannot change the moments of our precious life in which we were emotionally absent. But we can do something about the moments we feel ourselves fading from today.<\/p>\n

We can push away what is urgent so we can see what is necessary.<\/p>\n

And then we can hold it to our chests for dear life.<\/p>\n

\"hands<\/p>\n

****************************************<\/p>\n

Friends of The Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, I have THREE important things to tell you today and all of them are valuable resources for creating vacation moments<\/span> in your everyday life: <\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n