{"id":6680,"date":"2015-12-04T06:32:50","date_gmt":"2015-12-04T12:32:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=6680"},"modified":"2015-12-16T06:33:55","modified_gmt":"2015-12-16T12:33:55","slug":"clues-to-cling-to-when-facing-lifes-mysteries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2015\/12\/04\/clues-to-cling-to-when-facing-lifes-mysteries\/","title":{"rendered":"Clues to Cling to When Facing Life’s Mysteries"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"cookies\"<\/a><\/p>\n

On Sunday I woke up with the feeling of angst. Monday was the day I was going to my urologist\u2019s office to learn the findings of my recent CT scan. I\u2019d done a really good job of not thinking about this day over the Thanksgiving holiday. But on Sunday morning I could not keep the anxiety at bay. I kept envisioning what the doctor would probably say.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry, but we didn\u2019t see anything.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Because those are the words I\u2019ve been hearing for many months now from several doctors despite many tests<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I decided that preparing myself for no answers<\/em> would be the best route. At least I won\u2019t be any worse off when I come out of the office than going in<\/em>; I told my shaky heart over and over.<\/p>\n

But uncertainty is hard. Uncertainty is uncomfortable\u2014especially when you are one who likes to know, plan, and prepare.<\/p>\n

I went to my paper calendar and reviewed the week\u2019s appointments and events.\u00a0My twelve-year-old daughter walked up and lovingly leaned against me. \u201cTomorrow you go to the doctor, Mama,\u201d Natalie said knowing this was an important day. \u201cWhat\u2019s he going to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, he will tell me the results of my CT scan, and then we\u2019ll go from there,\u201d I explained, not really knowing what else to say.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cI know what we can do,\u201d she said suddenly. \u201cLet\u2019s make your famous sugar cookies today!\u201d<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t sure where that idea came from, and I wasn\u2019t too hip about the mess we were about to make, but I felt strongly I should say yes.\u00a0I pulled out my trusty Betty Crocker cookbook and opened right to the sugar cookie recipe. It\u2019s the page hardened with spills and dusted with flour, so it\u2019s easy to find. This sight alone brought me a glimmer of peace.<\/p>\n

\"sugar<\/a><\/p>\n

When my younger daughter Avery heard us getting out the mixer, she came to help. Pretty soon we were rolling dough side-by-side like we did when they were little.<\/p>\n

Once the cookies were in the oven, Natalie worried that they\u2019d spread into each other while they baked. I assured her they wouldn\u2019t. I knew they\u2019d rise, but wouldn\u2019t spread. I\u2019d been making them for several decades.<\/p>\n

During that time together, we decorated, sampled, and laughed. The girls even helped me clean up the kitchen, indicating they really are growing up.<\/p>\n

The rest of the day took a positive slant from then on. I put a few of the cookies in the freezer for my dad because they are his favorite. Avery wrote a song and played it for me. (I proudly concluded that if Ed Shereen wrote worship music when he was nine, it would sound like this<\/a>.) I took a walk and listened to my favorite album, August and Everything After <\/em>by the Counting Crows. It\u2019s soothing to the soul when you know all the lyrics by heart.<\/p>\n

At bedtime Natalie whispered, \u201cThanks for making cookies today, Mama. It was so fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thanked her for asking and said, \u201cI\u2019m not sure why, but cookie baking made the whole day profoundly better.\u201d<\/p>\n

I slept unexpectedly well that night. But by the time I got into the doctor\u2019s office, anxiety was back on high alert. Although I was prepared to hear the doctor to say, \u201cWe see nothing,\u201d I knew those words would be very hard to hear. Tears teetered on the edge of my eyes. I hoped I wouldn\u2019t cry. I held my own hand <\/a>when the doctor sat down on the stool in front of me. What he said was not what I had expected.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are a medical mystery.\u201d<\/p>\n

He got out a medical picture book and began pointing to the illustrations. \u201cThere is definitely something amiss,\u201d he said as he pointed to an enlarged left ureter. But the cause for my condition (hydronephrosis<\/a>) could not be detected on the CT scan.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a medical mystery,\u201d he said again. \u201cAnd that\u2019s not a good thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor began talking about a surgical procedure he\u2019d perform to relieve the condition and find the possible cause. Not knowing how I was supposed to feel about all this, I took notes and asked him to spell words I did not know. Anesthesia and operating rooms make my teeth chatter<\/a>, this was what I knew.<\/p>\n

\"what's<\/a><\/p>\n

As the sun began to set later that night, I called out to Avery who\u2019d just finished practicing her guitar. \u201cIt\u2019s beginning to get dark,\u201d I said, \u201cLet\u2019s take a walk around the block. Many of the neighbors put up Christmas lights over the weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Without protest, Avery slipped on her shoes and we headed down the driveway. She began chattering about her upcoming school play and what part she wished she\u2019d gotten. About five minutes into the walk she stopped suddenly and said, \u201cSmell, Mama. It\u2019s the scent you love.\u201d Pointing to the brown house she explained, \u201cThey\u2019re doing laundry, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tears sprang to my eyes.<\/p>\n

Throughout the month of October we\u2019d taken walks to look at Halloween lights. When we got to a certain point on our walk, I\u2019d always comment on the smell of fresh laundry drifting through the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s definitely coming from Luke\u2019s house,\u201d she said. \u201cLuke smells good every day in class,\u201d she confirmed.<\/p>\n

I put my hand over my mouth for fear I\u2019d burst into tears right then and there.<\/p>\n

I am a medical mystery. I face a medical mystery. But there is beautiful evidence of LIFE to cling to in this time of uncertainty.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cookies will rise \u2026 my dad will be pleased I saved him a couple of frosted angels \u2026 my child will taste the icing again and again \u2026 the Counting Crows will soothe my weary soul \u2026 my little songbird will keep writing her songs<\/a> \u2026 that sweet family will do their Downy fresh laundry, and Luke will smell good when he sits in class.<\/p>\n

No matter what mysteries we face today, there are clues all around us indicating hope is near \u2026 goodness is abundant \u2026 and we are being held in loving, faithful hands.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My friends, whether we are facing small mysteries or gigantic ones \u2026 whether they\u2019re mysteries for ourselves, our loved ones, or the world in its most troubling state, I am certain this is how we must deal. We must:<\/p>\n

Carry on
\nBake on
\nSing on
\nDecorate on
\nStrum on
\nPraise on
\nPray on
\nDance on
\nLove on
\nBelieve on
\nTwinkle on
\nInhale on
\nExhale on<\/p>\n

Because when we do, our people are thankful we joined in.<\/p>\n

Because when we do, we see, taste, and smell beautiful things we might have missed.<\/p>\n

Because when we do, angst diminishes and hope swells.<\/p>\n

Because when we do, the beautiful Evidence of Life<\/em> becomes stronger than any troubling mystery we face.<\/p>\n

I am a medical mystery. I face a medical mystery. But nothing will stop me from carrying on. Please join me, friends. Let\u2019s carry on. Together, hope swells higher.<\/p>\n

\"park<\/a><\/p>\n

*************************************************<\/p>\n

Dear friends of the Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, I am so grateful for your supportive comments, prayers, and well wishes. Last week when one of you wrote on the Facebook page<\/a>, \u201cI will give you my kidney,\u201d I cried. Your support and love has been the beautiful evidence, the warm blanket, the lifeline to carry me through. My surgery is taking place on Monday (12\/7) so I will be taking some time to recover and heal. I will have my Tiny Topics notebook<\/a> handy to jot down anything that might help us all live better and love more in the new year. Thank you so much for keeping my books, HANDS FREE LIFE<\/a> and HANDS FREE MAMA<\/a>, in mind as you purchase holiday gifts! Please enjoy 30% off all items in the Hands Free Shop<\/a> through December 6 with the code: <\/em><\/strong>MERRY30. The stylish vintage tee\u2019s<\/a> have been reduced to $10. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Final note – Although I prefer to share my messages through the written word, I have been told my voice is calming and mesmerizing. I heard a little of that here<\/a> in this enjoyable television interview that recently aired on 100 Huntley Street<\/a> in Canada. Enjoy! <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I am so grateful for every single one of you!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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