{"id":6953,"date":"2016-06-30T06:54:48","date_gmt":"2016-06-30T12:54:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=6953"},"modified":"2016-07-31T13:51:04","modified_gmt":"2016-07-31T19:51:04","slug":"a-comeback-anthem-for-the-fighter-within","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2016\/06\/30\/a-comeback-anthem-for-the-fighter-within\/","title":{"rendered":"A Comeback Anthem for the Fighter Within"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"DSC_0831\"<\/a>“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”
\n-Helen Keller
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

I was a few months late coming in for my follow-up x-ray, but as soon as the technician began speaking, it was clear I was right on time.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long have you had the pain?\u201d she asked, ready to jot down my response on the form in hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cOver a year,\u201d I said matter-of-factly, sounding oblivious to the fact that a year was a long time for such a thing.<\/p>\n

She stopped writing on her clipboard and looked up. \u201cOh honey. I am sorry,\u201d she said like a dear friend would to another.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t expecting that\u2014that human response in this sterile room with ominous machines and cold floors and exposing gowns that made me feel small and scared.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think you need a new doctor?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been to many doctors and there have been many tests and scans\u2026 but everyone keeps saying they can\u2019t find anything wrong,\u201d I explained. \u201cWe were hoping that once my body recovered from the two kidney surgeries I had last July, things would go back to normal \u2026 but they haven\u2019t. Lately, it\u2019s been getting worse,\u201d I admitted.<\/p>\n

I thought she would give me that look \u2013 the disconnected one that said \u201con to the next patient, there\u2019s nothing to be done here.\u201d Instead her voice got strong and feisty, and she leaned in a little. \u201cKeep searching until you get answers,\u201d she said adamantly. \u201cDon\u2019t give up on this, okay? This is not over. You can\u2019t live like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d I promised. \u201cI won't give up.\u201d I detected a hint of determination in my voice that I hadn\u2019t heard in awhile. I was certain I was being fueled by this woman\u2019s unexpected support. In all my past scans, this had never happened before. It felt providential, like divine oxygen to my lungs, like an added boost of confidence to my shaky soul. \u201cThank you,\u201d I said as I laid back and held my breath.<\/p>\n

My pain is real. It\u2019s time to gear up for the fight.<\/em> I am not done. <\/em>I thought to myself for the first time in many months.<\/p>\n

Back in December, my doctor performed a cystoscopy in an attempt to figure out what was amiss. Unfortunately, I came home from the hospital that day with more questions than answers. After careful consideration, I decided it was time to surrender, at least for a bit. I\u2019d experienced many months of hospitals, scans, tests, unanswered questions, and hopeless faces. I decided the best thing to do next was gather myself, be still, and trust that in time I would know what to do\u00a0next.<\/p>\n

And now, in the confines of a small, dark room, I was given an empowering message: It was time for a comeback. I was not finished yet.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0844\"<\/a><\/p>\n

As I drove home from the hospital I thought about an exquisite piece of writing, perhaps one of the most powerful I\u2019d ever read, entitled, \u201cShe Was Done<\/a>,\u201d by Adrienne Pieroth. When I shared it on The Hands Free Revolution Facebook page<\/a>, I asked members of our community to use comment boxes to identify which line in the piece most resonated with them. That\u2019s when the piece rose to a whole new level. As I read each reader\u2019s highlighted line, the selected declaration became a masterpiece of its own. Some lines made me breathe easier. Some lines took my breath away. Some made me nod in agreement and feel less alone. Some made me feel like celebrating. But all of them made me feel like living, as opposed to simply existing<\/strong>. And it was clear I wasn\u2019t alone.<\/p>\n

As lines were posted and readers liked and shared, I could see people rising up \u2026 I could feel ah-ha moments happening \u2026 I could sense weary souls being resuscitated. A few of the most shared lines from Adrienne\u2019s piece<\/a> were these:<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was done beating herself up and being so hard on herself as if either of these things led to changes or made her feel better. She realized kindness and compassion towards herself and others accomplished more.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was done seeing hurt as something to be avoided, foreseen or somehow her fault. She realized hurt shaped her as much as joy and she needed both to learn and grow.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was done trying to figure it all out, know the answers, plan everything and see all the possibilities before she began. She realized life was unfolding and that the detours and unexpected moments were some of the best parts.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was done with regrets. She realized if she'd known better, she would of done better.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was done being tired. She realized it came from spending her time doing things that didn\u2019t bring her joy or feed her soul.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was done not following the desires that yelled out in her soul every day. She realized if she did nothing about them, they died a quiet death that took a piece of her soul with them.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was done being something she was not. She realized the purpose of life was to be truly, happily who she was born to be\u2026and if she paused long enough to remember, she recognized herself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The sheer volume of comments magnified the hope of the piece. It was as if someone gave the readers lyrics to the song of their hearts and they all began singing in unison, voices strong and triumphant.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe Was Done<\/a>\u201d was an anthem for renewal \u2026 recovery \u2026 rejuvenation \u2026 and revival.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe Was Done<\/a>\u201d was a comeback anthem for life.<\/p>\n

And I felt I had stumbled on it at just the right time.<\/p>\n

I got home from my x-ray to find a hot meal prepared by my husband waiting for me. Sitting around the table with my three favorite people\u00a0was just what I needed. My daughter Avery said grace. As per the last 22 days, her prayer involved cats.<\/p>\n

\u201cDear God, thank you for helping Natalie write the note that made Daddy say yes to us adopting little Paisley. Thank you for letting us save the lives of all 6 kittens. Please let us find homes for the remaining 5. Please don\u2019t let them have to go into the PetSmart shelter. And please let Mama be okay.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d I said to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am not done<\/em>,\u201d I said to myself.<\/p>\n

After dinner my daughters and I prepared six tiny syringes of medication for the kittens. I was quite the pro by now. I held up little Lacie first. She had not been with us originally. When the mother cat and her kittens were rescued, Lacie was so weak and unresponsive that she needed immediate medical treatment.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0808\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I then lifted Madras and Clover, the nearly indistinguishable two who I found lifeless one night shortly after their arrival. I remember crying as the two kittens drug themselves across the floor to get to the food I\u2019d set out. I remember how the cat shelter owner came immediately to take all the kittens to the emergency vet. I remember her warning me that those two probably wouldn\u2019t make it through the night. Something told me they would survive. I could see they were fighters.<\/p>\n

And now here we are, watching all six of the kittens run, jump, and play … so full of life.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0673\"
\n<\/a>I don't think it\u2019s any coincidence my family has spent the first month of our summer giving life to\u00a0these amazing little beings. At just the right time, they\u2019re serving as a powerful reminder of the lesson I most often forget. I must care for myself as I care for the ones I love.<\/strong> What this means is, I need nourishment. I need rest. I need playtime.\u00a0I need love. I need medical attention if something\u2019s not right. We all do. And sometimes this critical reminder is given to us through the words of a kind stranger working in an imagining center or through an author on the Internet. And somehow these words become an anthem of renewal \u2026 recovery \u2026 rejuvenation \u2026 and revival.<\/p>\n

These words become a comeback anthem for life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My anthem sounds like this:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not done. I have so much yet to do. There are things I have not seen. There are moments in my children\u2019s lives I want to witness. I want to grow old with my husband. I want to write more books<\/a> that help people. But I must fight. I must refuse to accept there is nothing wrong. I must be my own advocate. I am determined to find someone who can help me get past the pain so I can truly live.<\/em><\/p>\n

As I reflect back on our time ministering to these precious kittens, something stands out. Oftentimes Avery would just sit with kittens and sing. Apparently they had a favorite tune: \u201cFight Song\u201d by Rachel Platten. Quietly, yet fiercely, Avery would sing<\/a> these lyrics over and over to the kittens:<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is my fight song<\/em>
\nTake back my life song<\/em>
\nProve I'm alright song<\/em>
\nMy power\u2019s turned on<\/em>
\nStarting right now, I'll be strong<\/em>
\nI'll play my fight song<\/em>
\nAnd I don't really care if nobody else believes<\/em>
\n‘Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Image
\n<\/a>Perhaps the kittens took those lyrics to heart. Perhaps there\u2019s a little something in that song for all of us. Perhaps if you don\u2019t have an anthem, you can start with Fight Song<\/em>. Avery sings it so beautifully here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

My friends, if today finds you weary, confused, burdened, joyless, hurting, or empty, I have a message for you:<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t give up. You are not done. There is so much life yet to experience. Start by giving yourself some nourishment\u2014perhaps a decent meal, a short nap, a walk around the block, or a chat with a trusted friend. Seek professional help if that\u2019s what you need. Put yourself first on the priority list. Your people want you to be well and happy. They want you around for a long time. You must care for yourself as you care for them. Come back to life. Come back to joy. It\u2019s time to run and jump and play like you once did.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re a fighter. I can sense it. Hold my hand. I\u2019m a fighter too.<\/p>\n

Together we\u2019ll lift our voices high, and let the world know we are not done.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0552_2\"
\n<\/a>**********************************<\/p>\n

My friends, you may have noticed in some of the photos I'm\u00a0wearing beautiful metal cuffs that read “only love today” and “come as you are.” These phrases and metal cuffs\u00a0were suggested by YOU as items you hoped to see in the Hands Free Shop<\/a>. I can't tell you how grateful and strengthened I feel when I look down and see these anthems on my wrist. Although “see flowers not weeds<\/a>” quickly sold out when I showed it on the Facebook page<\/a>, it is back in stock today (quantities limited). \u00a0<\/strong><\/em>The following three phrases on copper and aluminum cuffs can be pre-ordered now and will ship to you in\u00a0mid-July:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

ONLY LOVE TODAY<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

COME AS YOU ARE<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

TODAY MATTERS MORE THAN YESTERDAY<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

SEE FLOWERS NOT WEEDS<\/strong><\/a> – This cuff is currently available and was requested by readers after I posted\u00a0\u201c<\/em>Taking Away My Daughter\u2019s Smile<\/a>.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

One final note: Beginning tomorrow, this blog and The Hands Free Revolution Facebook page<\/a> will be quiet for the month of July as I care for myself and spend time with my family. I would be so delighted if you might choose to join me in a media break\u00a0so you can quiet the noise of the world and hear the anthem in your heart.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>I leave you with a photo of the newest member of our family: Paisley Stafford. As Natalie said in her letter to her daddy: \u201cI knew I loved her from the moment I saw her.\u201d My friends, I love you all and cherish your hand in mine as we fight to grasp what matters most in this precious life. See you in August.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

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“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” -Helen Keller I was a few months late coming in for my follow-up x-ray, but as soon as the technician began speaking, it was clear I was right on time. \u201cHow long have you had the pain?\u201d she asked, ready […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6948,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[1661,1664,1517,1660,1663,168,1427,1662],"gutentor_comment":84,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/DSC_0831-e1467285388333.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1O9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6953"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6953"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6953\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6948"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}