{"id":7050,"date":"2016-09-22T06:42:11","date_gmt":"2016-09-22T12:42:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=7050"},"modified":"2016-10-12T07:02:37","modified_gmt":"2016-10-12T13:02:37","slug":"i-hurt-with-her-she-said-i-took-note","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2016\/09\/22\/i-hurt-with-her-she-said-i-took-note\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cI Hurt With Her,\u201d She Said & I Took Note"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"dsc_0841\"<\/a>Imagine if you asked yourself for a minute,
\n<\/em>What if I had your heart?
\n<\/em>What if you wore my scars?
\n<\/em>How would we break down?
\n<\/em>What if you were me?
\n<\/em>What if I were you?
\n<\/em>-Five for Fighting, What If<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see the girl with the big smile, Mama? I hope we\u2019re friends someday,\u201d my daughter said as we walked away from the lemonade stand just days after moving into our new neighborhood.<\/p>\n

I saw her. Oh yes, I saw that beaming of ray of light. My heart did a summersault when my daughter was introduced to L. The girls were going into the same grade, and they both were new to the area.<\/p>\n

Within a few weeks, the girls were inseparable. Their shared love of music instantly bonded them. For hours, they\u2019d sing and dance in the basement\u2014their voices more confident and assured together than alone.<\/p>\n

The quickly developing bond between two friends was solidified on a painful bus ride home shortly after our move. I took note that fateful day, occurring exactly two years ago. I knew it was important to remember what I witnessed. So when my husband sent me a photo of the two girls on the football field the other night, I knew it was time to share their story and the photo.<\/p>\n

Let me just say, this is more than a friendship, and it\u2019s more than a photo. It is a goal \u2026 a model \u2026 an aspiration of what we could be if we collectively agree to take note.<\/p>\n

This is their story \u2026<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

When my daughter came off the school bus that hot September afternoon, it was obvious something was horribly wrong. With a weary heart, I suspected it was homesickness due to our recent move.<\/p>\n

Once my daughter\u2019s words came out, I would have paid anything for homesickness to be the problem.<\/p>\n

A boy on the bus had said these vile words to her precious friend: \u201cI hate black people.\u201d<\/p>\n

I began to shake with anger. \u201cWhat did you do, honey?\u201d I asked semi-calmly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI asked L if she was okay. She didn\u2019t say anything, so I just scooted closer.\u201d Wiping tears from her eyes, she admitted, \u201cI didn\u2019t know what to do, Mama, so I just hurt with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

I hurt with her. <\/em><\/p>\n

It took me a moment to recover from that.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou did the right thing,\u201d I said once I found my voice. I then told her I must also do something. I asked if she would prefer I speak to the boy\u2019s parents or the principal. She preferred the principal so I immediately notified her. Expressing deep concern, the principal assured both my daughter and myself that swift action would be taken and this would not happen again to her friend.<\/p>\n

The next day, my daughter proudly reported that her teacher unexpectedly walked the girls onto the bus. With her arms protectively around my child and her friend, the long-time educator announced to the boy and those seated around him, \u201cYou mess with my girls, you mess with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cL felt stronger and less worried after that,\u201d my daughter said. \u201cMy teacher had our back.\u201d<\/p>\n

My daughter had said, \u201cour back,\u201d not L\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

I took note. <\/em><\/p>\n

A few months later, my daughter had to get new eyeglasses. Just when she hoping her vision would magically correct itself, she required a new prescription.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan L go with us?\u201d my daughter asked the day we were going to pick out new frames.<\/p>\n

This struck me as an odd request. \u201cWhy?\u201d I asked curiously.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause she always gives me truth. She won\u2019t say what she thinks I want <\/em>to hear; she\u2019ll say what I need <\/em>to hear. She\u2019ll help me find the best pair for my face.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wow. Wouldn\u2019t we all like to have a friend like that?<\/em> I thought. Naturally, L went with us to the eye doctor. And just as my child predicted, her friend was a tremendous help. I sat back watching as L carefully selected frames that complimented my daughter\u2019s circular face shape.<\/p>\n

My daughter, still not keen on the fact she was getting a pair of glasses, looked half-heartedly at the frames her friend handed her.<\/p>\n

On the tenth rejected pair, I saw my daughter losing hope. I was about to suggest we come back another day when I heard L\u2019s voice get really excited. \u201cOh! Oh! You look so good in purple, Avery! Try these.\u201d L handed her friend a pretty lavender pair.<\/p>\n

The girls both peered into the mirror together; their smiles widened synchronously.<\/p>\n

\u201cThose are the ones,\u201d L said with certainty. \u201cYou look beautiful in those.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think so?\u201d Avery asked timidly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow would I lie to you?\u201d L asked, placing her hands on her hips.<\/p>\n

Avery laughed out loud.<\/p>\n

But it wasn\u2019t until L said, \u201cI\u2019m going to ask my mom if I can get some glasses too,\u201d that my daughter\u2019s look of worry completely dispelled.<\/p>\n

\"image-1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Sure enough, L\u2019s mom later reported her daughter came home begging for glasses.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you don\u2019t need them,\u201d her mom pointed out.<\/p>\n

L knew this, but she wanted to stand with Avery in her time of discomfort and insecurity. She wanted to scoot closer. She wanted to cover their back.<\/p>\n

I took note. <\/em><\/p>\n

A month ago, our families visited the church of the girls\u2019 guitar instructor. Miss Kaitlin<\/a> was beginning her role as worship leader and we wanted to support her. Afterwards, the families took an unplanned stop at a famous donut shop featured on the Food Network<\/em>. I was shocked when my daughter looked at the mouth-watering display and said she didn\u2019t want one. I immediately felt her forehead. She must be sick.<\/em> I thought.<\/p>\n

\"dsc_0477\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll just have iced tea,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until we got home that she admitted the reason for passing on the donut. \u201cI really wanted one, but they didn\u2019t have a gluten-free donut for L. I decided if she had to go without, I would too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, I took note. <\/em><\/p>\n

Next month, my daughter is trying out for a basketball team. L\u2019s been coaching her and encouraging her at several camps and clinics they\u2019ve recently attended together. Although L is much more advanced and ready for a more competitive team, she\u2019s choosing to play in the less competitive league as well \u2026 for Avery.<\/p>\n

Again and again, I take note of what these two friends have to teach me about loving each other.<\/p>\n

And today, I pray the world will take note too.<\/p>\n

What if we collectively responded to the injustices of our brothers and sisters with empathy rather than defensiveness or indifference? <\/em><\/p>\n

What if we collectively looked into our brother and sisters eyes to acknowledge their pain rather than closing our eyes or looking away? <\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

What if we collectively understood our privileges and blessings would be far greater if shared by our sisters and brothers?<\/em><\/p>\n

What if we collectively agreed it is not \u201cyour back\u201d or \u201cmy back,\u201d but \u201cour back,\u201d if we are to create a unified and peaceful world for future generations?<\/em>
\n
\nWhat if we collectively remember, \u201cI\u2019ll hurt with you,\u201d is something we can all do when we don\u2019t know what to do? <\/em><\/p>\n

I think we can all agree there is a lot on the line for our country right now. Unity, compassion, empathy, peace, understanding, and love are all on the line, and it\u2019s not looking like they\u2019re going to make the cut.<\/p>\n

But then my husband sends me a photo. And what I see on the line at a local football game gives me hope.<\/p>\n

\"image-2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The goal of this mighty little team is not to win \u2026 or have the most \u2026 or be the best.<\/p>\n

The goal of this little team is to love \u2026 to love each other as they want to be loved.<\/p>\n

The goal of this team is to have \u201cour back.\u201d<\/p>\n

For they know they are stronger together than they are alone.<\/p>\n

Let us take note.<\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s so much on the line.<\/p>\n

But love can prevail.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"dsc_0718\"<\/a><\/p>\n

******************************************************<\/p>\n

My friends of the Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, what are your hurts and what are your hopes today? We can learn so much about loving each other through our stories. I am so looking forward to looking into the eyes of my Tennessee friends in just two short weeks. On October 4th<\/sup>, I will be speaking <\/em><\/strong>at the Chattanooga Theater Centre as a fundraising event for the MCR Foundation for the Prevention of Eating Disorders. Click here<\/a> for tickets. On October 6th<\/sup><\/em><\/strong>, I will be speaking in Clarksville at the 6th<\/sup> annual Tickle Me Pink Breast Cancer Luncheon. Click here<\/a> for tickets. If you plan to attend the events, feel free to bring copies of my books HANDS FREE MAMA<\/a> or HANDS FREE LIFE<\/a>, and I will be happy to sign them. There will also be books available for purchase. Thank you for walking beside me on this journey to choose love over distraction, perfection, productivity, and pressure. #onlylovetoday #teamlove<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Imagine if you asked yourself for a minute, What if I had your heart? What if you wore my scars? How would we break down? What if you were me? What if I were you? -Five for Fighting, What If \u201cDid you see the girl with the big smile, Mama? I hope we\u2019re friends someday,\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":7049,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[1232,1695,1693,1694,700],"gutentor_comment":72,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Image-2-1-e1474546237649.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1PI","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7050"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7050"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7050\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7049"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}