{"id":7307,"date":"2017-01-27T08:14:26","date_gmt":"2017-01-27T14:14:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=7307"},"modified":"2017-01-28T10:08:03","modified_gmt":"2017-01-28T16:08:03","slug":"a-group-of-middle-schoolers-just-summed-up-everything-we-need-to-know-about-loving-our-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2017\/01\/27\/a-group-of-middle-schoolers-just-summed-up-everything-we-need-to-know-about-loving-our-children\/","title":{"rendered":"A Group of Middle Schoolers Just Summed Up Everything We Need to Know About Loving Our Children"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI went looking for someone I left behind<\/em>
\n Yeah, but no one just a stranger I did find …<\/em>
\n Different places, yeah, but they all look the same<\/em>
\n Dreams of faces in the streets devoured by names …<\/em>
\n Words dismantled, hey, and all the books unbound<\/em>
\n Conversations though we utter not a sound<\/em>
\n I heard a rumor, I don't know if it's true<\/em>
\n That you'd meet me where the flame turns blue.\u201d<\/em>
\n\u2013David Gray, Flames Turn Blue<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Two days ago, I walked into my assigned classroom and took a deep breath. Here, I would speak to four groups of middle schoolers (100 students in all) about being an author<\/a>. I knew I was invited to Career Day<\/em> to expand the students\u2019 knowledge and horizons, but I felt certain my role that day was to facilitate something far greater. Simply coming to talk at<\/em> them felt like a wasted opportunity, a tragedy of sorts. I yearned to hear their voices\u2014never-before-heard truths that could lead to triumph for us all.<\/p>\n

But first, I had to tell them about life as an author. Yes, I would cover job details and facts, but more importantly, I\u2019d build a foundation on which an important question could be posed. In order for truths to come forth, they must be properly invited. The goal of my talk was to create a safe environment where authentic sharing could take place, no matter how unpleasant or difficult it was to hear.<\/p>\n

I swallowed my pride and proceeded to make it clear that truth and vulnerability were welcomed and encouraged here.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

To groups of twenty-five students at a time, I shared my childhood dream of being an author that I\u2019d suppressed for nearly thirty years. I told them about the awkwardness and insecurities I felt growing up, except when I was writing. I shared painful revelations like realizing my inner bully was causing me to engage in self-destructive behaviors in order to be deemed \u201csuccessful.\u201d I told them about my addiction to a device that I held more often than my child\u2019s hand. I told them about the \u201cbadge of busy\u201d I wore proudly despite the way it left me empty and scarred my soul. I opened up about yelling, controlling, and criticizing the people I loved under the guise of \u201cgood intentions.\u201d I described the near death of my Noticer\u2019s<\/a> beautiful spirit by the hands of productivity and efficiency.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese are some of the difficult truths I\u2019ve written about on my blog and in my books<\/a>,\u201d I explained, \u201cPeople see\u00a0themselves in my stories in a way that inspires them to change and grow as I change and grow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although my audience consisted of thirteen and fourteen year olds, their glistening eyes and nodding heads indicated the struggles I spoke of were not exclusive to adults. I could see the wheels turning inside their perceptive minds. For all our sakes, I hoped they were about to let me into their worlds.<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe each one of you has a special purpose\u2014a contribution to the world only you can make,\u201d I said when the final five minutes of the session remained. \u201cI believe your voices hold great value, and it is not by accident that I am here today. I want to amplify your voices so the world can learn from you<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n

If anyone was sleepy or disinterested, they were awake now. Postures straightened. Heads raised. Expressions became pensive. They were up for the task. This was their moment to be heard.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

As I handed out index cards on which to write their responses, I posed one single question: \u201cIf you could tell the whole world something and knew they were listening, what would it be?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

To be sure the students understood this was an open, mistake-free invitation, I emphasized these four freedoms:<\/p>\n

Your response could be anything you want your parents, peers, or the world in general to know.<\/em><\/p>\n

I do not need names. <\/em><\/p>\n

There are no right or wrong answers. <\/em><\/p>\n

Remember: Your voice holds value. Don\u2019t let anyone ever tell you anything different.<\/em><\/p>\n

To be honest, I was not expecting every student to participate\u2014but they did.<\/p>\n

I was not expecting every student to take it seriously\u2014but they did.<\/p>\n

Their responses were raw, powerful, enlightening, thoughtful, heartbreaking, mature, and useful. Their responses could also be life-changing<\/em> depending on what we<\/em> do with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

For a moment, will you push aside all other thoughts and distractions and read these truths \u2026 \u00a0these pleas \u2026 these wisdoms and recommendations? Will you imagine them coming from the lips of a child or teen you love? Because it could be\u2014it could be very well be the voice of someone you love today\u00a0or in the future.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re talking to us.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a moment and really listen:<\/p>\n