{"id":7526,"date":"2017-04-21T07:18:43","date_gmt":"2017-04-21T13:18:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=7526"},"modified":"2017-04-21T07:38:29","modified_gmt":"2017-04-21T13:38:29","slug":"having-more-fun-is-not-as-elusive-as-you-think-and-why-you-shouldnt-wait","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2017\/04\/21\/having-more-fun-is-not-as-elusive-as-you-think-and-why-you-shouldnt-wait\/","title":{"rendered":"Having More Fun is Not As Elusive As You Think … And Why You Shouldn’t Wait"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I used to trade loving goodbyes for on-time morning departures.<\/p>\n

I used to trade vacation days for getting home early to get things accomplished.<\/p>\n

I used to trade peace for pride \u2026 cuddling for career advancement.<\/p>\n

I used to trade authenticity for approval.<\/p>\n

I used to trade joy for control \u2026 happiness for perfection.<\/p>\n

I used to trade my safety and the safety of others for prompt text message replies.<\/p>\n

I used to make a lot of bad trades \u2013 trades that were not in the best interest of a fulfilling and joyful life. While I don\u2019t make those particular trades anymore, I still make bad trades. And lately, they\u2019ve been called to my attention.<\/p>\n

I trade food enjoyment for calorie counting and wearing a certain size.<\/p>\n

I trade sleep to meet deadlines.<\/p>\n

I trade peace of mind to reach career\u00a0goals.<\/p>\n

I trade healthy blood pressure readings for high quality content.<\/p>\n

And for what? For what?<\/p>\n

At the end of my life, my pant size, my book sales, and my ability to meet\u00a0a deadline will be irrelevant.<\/p>\n

I know this. I\u2019ve pretty much always known this. But it didn\u2019t really sink in until I saw this truth with my own two eyes.<\/p>\n

The day before his life ended, my father-in-law rejoiced in the fact his children and grandchildren surrounded him. He delighted in the countless memories of time spent with people he loved. Besides those two things, nothing else mattered \u2013 not how much money he had in his bank account, not the size of his house, not his list of career accomplishments.<\/p>\n

Due to his cancerous tumor, Ben pretty much lost his appetite. But on his bucket list was having a slice of homemade cherry pie. My husband made a cherry pie for his dad. Ben took one bite, and his eyes lit up. With one bite, he was flooded with memories of eating cherry pie at family gatherings throughout his lifetime. Ben put the fork down after one bite \u2013 he didn\u2019t need any more. Love would sustain him.<\/p>\n

Relationships, memories, and love<\/em>. That was all he needed in the end.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A few days after Ben died, my husband and I walked together on one of the busiest downtown streets in the country. With no destination in mind, we walked along the bustling city street processing the week\u2019s traumatic events out loud.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, my husband stopped walking. Right there in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, he grabbed my hand and declared, \u201cI want to have more fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

I can still smell the muggy spring air, the exhaust of the cars rushing past, the thunder storm brewing off in the distance. I haven\u2019t forgotten my husband\u2019s words, and I don\u2019t think I ever will. I want to have more fun too, but \u201chaving more fun\u201d can be elusive. What does it mean? What does it look like in a life with duties and responsibilities?<\/p>\n

Well, I recently got an idea while listening to my current song obsession, Suit and Jacket<\/em><\/a>. Judah and the Lion sing:<\/p>\n

\u201cI ain't trading my youth for no suit and jacket
\n<\/em>I ain't giving my freedom for your money and status
\n<\/em>So don't say I'm getting older
\n<\/em>Cause I'll say it when I do.<\/em><\/p>\n

Cause everybody I know, everybody I know
\n<\/em>Is growing old, is growing old too quickly
\n<\/em>And I don't wanna go
\n<\/em>So how am I supposed to slow it down so I can figure out who I am?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Hmmm \u2026 perhaps putting an end to my bad trading practices is a good starting point to having more fun.\u00a0Through Judah\u2019s musical inspiration and some divine guidance from Ben, I\u2019ve made some decisions.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided \u2026<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not trading a conversation with my daughter for a mindless scroll on Instagram.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m not trading a proper hug and kiss to get out the door on time.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m not trading unity\u00a0for getting in the last word.<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m not trading \u201clikes\u201d for real love.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m not trading sanity for sales.<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m not trading a double scoop of chocolate chip ice cream for a number on the scale.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m not trading real\u00a0conversation for an unblemished reputation.<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m not trading a walk in the sunshine for stacks of folded laundry.<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m not trading stellar sunsets for stellar stats.<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m not trading sound mental health for an empty email inbox.<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m not trading family tranquility for 24\/7 availability.<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And just in case I needed a little more encouragement to ditch the bad trades once and for all, I stumbled onto a visual representation of a 90-year-old lifespan<\/a> in years, months, weeks, and days. I was taken aback. It was hard to believe that even people blessed to live ninety years could fit all their days on a single sheet of paper!<\/p>\n

But it was when the\u00a0author measured life in events and activities that I was most intrigued. He estimated he had 60 Superbowls left \u2026 15 more presidential elections \u2026 60 more jumps in the ocean \u2026 300 more books for to read for pleasure. The ocean jumps and books really got me.\u00a0As I read on, I saw how many \u201cin-person\u201d times with his parents the author had used up over his lifetime and how many he estimates to have left. That visual<\/a> was the most painful of all. The author wrote:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life.\u201d [source<\/a>]\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I took screen shots of those powerful visuals to keep as reminders, but I was quite certain I wouldn\u2019t forget them. Little did I know these visuals would immediately alter my behavior in ways I\u2019ve never experienced before.<\/p>\n