{"id":7587,"date":"2017-05-25T07:21:22","date_gmt":"2017-05-25T13:21:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=7587"},"modified":"2017-05-25T07:21:22","modified_gmt":"2017-05-25T13:21:22","slug":"shaming-the-distracted-child-only-hurts-our-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2017\/05\/25\/shaming-the-distracted-child-only-hurts-our-world\/","title":{"rendered":"Shaming the Distracted Child Only Hurts Our World"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

By now you may have heard about the progress report my younger daughter came home with several years ago that said: \u201cDistracted in large groups<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

You may also know (or can relate to) the fact that this comment did not surprise me. Since she was a toddler, this child has offered astute observations of the world around her. But what did <\/em>surprise me is how badly she wanted to know what those words next to the low mark said. I hesitated, sensing this was a pivotal moment that could define her sense of self.<\/p>\n

Telling my daughter not to worry about it didn\u2019t seem right and neither did being dishonest. So, after pointing out all the positives on the progress report, I gave her truth.<\/p>\n

Upon hearing the news, my freckle-faced kindergartner looked down shyly. With an uncertain smile, she said, \u201cYeah, I do look around a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I bent down, looked her straight in the eye, and described all the important things she notices each day \u2013 people\u2019s hurts, people\u2019s joys, people\u2019s names \u2026 where the car is parked (thank goodness), where her big sister left her library book (thank goodness) \u2026 \u00a0the tiniest seashells, and the biggest, puffiest clouds \u2026 who is being left out, who got a new haircut, and who has a peanut allergy.
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The word \u201cNoticer<\/em>\u201d came to mind as I assured my daughter she did not need to change. \u201cI don\u2019t ever want you to stop noticing because that is your gift,\u201d I said with conviction. \u201cIt is your gift that you give to the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

Out of all the conversations I\u2019ve had with my child, now ten years old, that conversation ranks among the most important. As time passes and Avery continues to grow, I marvel at her evolution as a Noticer. My initial instinct to deem her \u201cdistractedness\u201d a gift rather than a problem is often confirmed in powerful ways. This week, we received one such confirmation. Avery had applied to become a member of the Safety Patrol at her elementary school next fall. The application required a written paragraph as to why the student thought he or she was well suited for the job. I marveled at the way Avery sat at the kitchen table writing that short essay. She needed no help from me.<\/p>\n

She wrote:<\/p>\n

\u201cI would be a good safety patrol in school next year because I love helping and guiding kids. I am also very observant and will not let anyone get hurt! If someone does get hurt, I will help them. Lastly, I would be having lots of fun while helping out. This seems like a great job for me. That is why I, Avery Stafford, would make a good safety patrol.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I smiled at her convincing words. Her \u201cdistractedness\u201d was hardly a problem; it was her \u201cgift,\u201d and it had the power to protect lives.<\/p>\n

A week passed, and Avery came home to report she\u2019d been selected. I\u2019d barely gotten out my congratulations when she expressed sadness for her classmate who did not get selected.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you know she didn\u2019t get selected? Did they announce it?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I saw her face; I just knew<\/strong>,\u201d she said sadly.<\/p>\n

I have no doubt my daughter\u2019s assumptions were correct. Noticers are perceptive. They just know.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I hugged my daughter and thanked her for noticing and caring so much for others. I reminded her that very quality was the quality that would make her such a great Safety Patrol.<\/p>\n

Oddly or perhaps not so oddly, I thought of my child\u2019s new role as I watched the devastating news unfold about the recent terrorist attack outside the Ariana Grande concert<\/a> in Manchester. I became obsessed with the homeless man, Chris Parker, who picked himself up from the blast to aid lost children and comfort the wounded. News reports praised Chris for cradling a dying woman and wrapping a bloodied child\u00a0in merchandise t-shirts. The press called him a hero, but I am quite certain he is a Noticer.<\/p>\n

Upon seeing the news reports, the man\u2019s estranged mother put out a plea to reunite with her son<\/a>. \u201cNo matter what\u2019s happened in the past, Chris has done so well, and I am very proud of him,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n

Rest assured, Mama, a Noticer will find your son<\/em>, I thought to myself tearfully.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been praying about Chris and his mother\u2019s reunion. I hope when she looks at him, she does not see his past mistakes or his \u201cproblem\u201d areas. I hope she looks him straight in the eye and says, \u201cI see you. I see your inner gifts. I am so proud to call you my son. I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s never too late to say the things you wished you\u2019d said years ago.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s never too late to look at someone and see their \u201cflaws\u201d in a whole new light.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s never too late to wrap your arms around your Noticer and say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t see your light before.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Yesterday I filed\u00a0through the papers\u00a0on my desk until I found the gift Avery gave her father and me in February as our Valentine\u2019s Day gifts. She prefaced the gifts by saying they were the most important folders we will ever own. Two \u201cHow to Be a Noticer<\/em>\u201d folders had been handed to us proudly. What seemed humorous a few months ago seems critically important now. Perhaps Avery knew Noticer Training<\/em> would be in order, and she was born to lead that initiative.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I look at the Noticer checklists inside the folder and see it\u2019s about having heightened awareness\u2014looking around \u2026 paying attention \u2026 taking in life\u2019s most important details and responding with heart.
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I hope the world takes notice. \u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start right here \u2026<\/p>\n

Perhaps you love a Noticer. Perhaps you are <\/em>a Noticer. Some very special people possess the Noticing gift but are made to feel like it\u2019s a problem, so they hide it, squelch it, or numb\u00a0it.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not do that anymore.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d like more people to embrace their Noticing gifts proudly. That\u2019s why I give updates<\/a> on the Evolution of my Noticer who was once called Distracted. Her latest progression feels like the most monumental one yet. She is about to begin her new role of keeping kids safe \u2026 sensing troubling situations \u2026 running toward, not away, from the hurt, the scared, and the lost. Just like Chris Parker did.<\/p>\n

Could there be a more important job?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n

I share this latest update in hopes it reaches a parent wondering if acceptance is the right response when the system is telling you differently.<\/p>\n

It is.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I share this update today in hopes it reaches that distracted little boy or girl feeling like there is something wrong with him or her.<\/p>\n

There is not.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I share this update today in hopes it reaches that grown-up little boy or girl still carrying the shame of low marks and negative comments about who you are.<\/p>\n

You are perfect.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

And we need you desperately.<\/p>\n

Because\u00a0the truth is,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

We are all just waiting for someone to notice\u2014notice our pain, notice our scars, notice our fear, notice our joy, notice our triumphs, notice our courage. And the one who notices is a rare and beautiful gift.
\n(from Only Love Today<\/em><\/a>) <\/strong><\/p>\n

I close this post with a message I received from a sixty-year-old woman. She wrote, \u201cWhen I was six, my dad took me to the circus, and I kept turning around. My dad scolded me and told me I needed to watch the show. I rather watch the people behind me. All my life I thought there was something wrong with me. Now I know, there is not. I am a Noticer<\/strong>.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s never too late to see yourself in a whole new light.<\/p>\n

Let go of that shame, and let your light shine, dear Noticers.<\/p>\n

The world is safer with your bright eyes upon it, looking out for who to help next.<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

***************************************<\/p>\n

For bite-size\u00a0inspiration and simple strategies to know and understand your Noticer or a loved who is perceived as \u201cdifferent,\u201d please consider my latest book, ONLY LOVE TODAY: Reminders to Breathe More, Stress Less, & Choose Love<\/a>. It is a flip open, read anytime\/anywhere source of daily encouragement with emphasis on and strategies for loving ourselves and children \u201cas is.\u201d\u00a0ONLY LOVE TODAY is a $2.99 eBook\u00a0special<\/a> for the month of May! Just a few days left to take advantage of that price. Thanks to all who are using the beautiful hardcover version<\/a>\u00a0as a gift for anyone who is in need of hope and positivity.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Thank you for walking beside me, my friends of The Hands Free Revolution. Please join our supportive community on Instagram<\/a> or Facebook<\/a>. The beautiful comment sections never cease to make us feel unalone and give us hope. I appreciate you.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By now you may have heard about the progress report my younger daughter came home with several years ago that said: \u201cDistracted in large groups.\u201d You may also know (or can relate to) the fact that this comment did not surprise me. Since she was a toddler, this child has offered astute observations of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":7573,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1761,1778,1748,1781,1789],"tags":[],"gutentor_comment":38,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/DSC_0632-e1495711003161.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-1Yn","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7587"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7587"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7587\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7587"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7587"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7587"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}