{"id":7802,"date":"2017-11-20T07:15:49","date_gmt":"2017-11-20T13:15:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=7802"},"modified":"2017-11-20T07:15:49","modified_gmt":"2017-11-20T13:15:49","slug":"not-another-defeated-depleted-years-end-give-yourself-something-truly-sustaining","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2017\/11\/20\/not-another-defeated-depleted-years-end-give-yourself-something-truly-sustaining\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Another Defeated, Depleted Year’s End: Give Yourself Something Truly Sustaining"},"content":{"rendered":"

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A few months ago, I was interviewed by a writer for a mental health magazine about the concept of my latest book, ONLY LOVE TODAY<\/a>. The article was scheduled to run in their November issue. I have searched and searched and cannot find the magazine anywhere. I find this a little funny because at the time of the interview, that was my hope. I really didn\u2019t want people reading about the unhealthy habit I confessed to the interviewer. But given what\u2019s happened since then, I feel it needs to be shared. So here goes \u2026<\/p>\n

I remember this phone interview vividly because the interviewer\u2019s very first question was abrupt and caught me a bit off guard.<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand the importance of approaching life with a positive lens of acceptance and kindness, but what about bad habits \u2014 damaging habits that make you unhealthy?\u201d she said skeptically. \u201cDo you just throw up your hands and say, \u2018Well, this is who I am. I am going to love myself as is, and I don\u2019t need to change?\u201d<\/p>\n

No!<\/em> I wanted to outwardly object, but then I\u2019d have to explain how I knew this \u2013 and that explanation would go into the magazine. I debated for a moment, then took a deep breath and spoke honestly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, as a matter of fact, I\u2019m working on a bad habit right now. I\u2019m trying to break the habit of drinking large quantities of diet soda. And approaching it \u2014 or any other damaging habit \u2014 from an accepting, grace-filled way is quite motivating. It means you don\u2019t berate yourself when you slip up, so you keep trying. It means you focus on progress, not perfection. It means you remember you\u2019re human, and each stumble only gives you more experience and greater wisdom to use next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

In other words, shame and condemnation are not motivating; acceptance and grace are.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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I witnessed this first hand\u00a0when I taught special education for adolescents with severe behavior issues. They often came to me so defeated because they\u2019d grown up only hearing what they did wrong. They often believed they couldn\u2019t change. One of the first things I did was break down their goal into tiny, achievable steps. By mastering that tiny step, they got their first taste of success. This sparked belief and motivation.<\/p>\n

I decided small, achievable goals was exactly what I needed to overcome my unhealthy habit. As I contemplated my goals, a term mentioned by a blog reader came to mind. When I referred to my diet soda consumption an \u201caddiction,\u201d this reader countered that it was not <\/strong>an addiction \u2013 it was a choice. After my initial feeling of defensiveness, I googled the term she suggested would help me: Intuitive Eating<\/em>. These are some descriptors of Intuitive Eating<\/em> that quickly jumped out at me:<\/p>\n