{"id":7996,"date":"2018-03-02T08:29:17","date_gmt":"2018-03-02T14:29:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=7996"},"modified":"2018-03-02T08:41:20","modified_gmt":"2018-03-02T14:41:20","slug":"the-silent-art-of-picking-your-heart-up-off-the-floor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2018\/03\/02\/the-silent-art-of-picking-your-heart-up-off-the-floor\/","title":{"rendered":"The Silent Art of Picking Your Heart Up Off the Floor"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"\u201cBreathe in, breathe out,<\/em>
\n Move on and break down,<\/em>
\n If everyone goes away, I will stay.\u201d<\/em>
\n\u2013Mat Kearney<\/a><\/p>\n

My daughters and I traveled 500 hundred miles last week to visit my parents in Florida. The timing felt divine. My heavy heart knew I needed to retreat \u2026 to be quiet \u2026 to shut out the noise. I knew I was searching \u2026 but for what, I did not know.<\/p>\n

After dinner on the night of our arrival, I opened one of my mom\u2019s many magazines sitting in a pile on the coffee table.<\/p>\n

The initial line of an article caught my attention. \u201cIf meditation came in the form of a pill, it would be the best-selling drug on the market. It gives you the opportunity to delete stress on demand and puts everything in perspective,\u201d Suze Yalof Schwartz was quoted as saying. (Family Circle,<\/em> March 2018.)<\/p>\n

I continued reading and was encouraged by three surprising points:<\/p>\n

1) A mere sixty seconds of meditation was enough to decrease depression and anxiety and increase focus, memory, and productivity<\/p>\n

2) A still mind was not required. \u201cMeditation is not meant to eliminate thoughts. It simply teaches you to direct the mind\u2019s mental traffic\u201d -Leonard Perlmutter<\/p>\n

3) Meditation can happen anywhere. \u201cWhen you close your eyes, slow down your breath and get present, you\u2019re meditating,\u201d said Yalof Schwartz, which she stated could be done on the subway or while standing in line.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d always wondered about meditation, but it always seemed so elusive \u2026 until that moment. I marked the page by turning it down, but I knew I would not forget. The information felt like a map of some sort, a positive direction when I wasn\u2019t sure where to go.<\/p>\n

The next day, while drifting on a boogie board in the water next to my daughters, this new information came in handy. My younger daughter Avery had just been talking about an upcoming babysitting job and what to do if she didn\u2019t feel safe. It was just one of many new worries that appeared with the recent mass shooting in Florida. My older daughter Natalie had just been talking about a missing grade that was not in the online gradebook last time she checked.<\/p>\n

I looked at my children\u2019s beautiful faces and could practically read the worries, flashing like breaking news headlines, in their brains.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d I said. \u201cWant to try something with me? It\u2019s a 60-second breather that can bring an instant sense of calm.\u201d<\/p>\n

After describing the first two steps (close your eyes and let your focus go), I emphasized the third and most memorable step: \u201cDrift in the gap of nothingness, even if it\u2019s just for a millisecond,\u201d I recited from the article.<\/p>\n

\u201cGap of nothingness,\u201d Avery said giggling.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think I can be quiet for a millisecond,\u201d Natalie said jokingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cC\u2019mon, let\u2019s try it,\u201d I said. \u201cJust close your eyes and focus on a single point\u2014your breathing, a calming phrase, a sound, or an object for one minute,\u201d I instructed.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Both girls closed their eyes and were surprisingly silent. I couldn\u2019t be sure, but after the exercise, they seemed more agreeable and less agitated. I decided to suggest a \u201c60-second breather\u201d throughout our visit.<\/p>\n

Over the course of five days, my daughters and I used the meditation practice multiple times: after watching the news and worries were high \u2026 when minds began to race at bedtime … when traffic got stopped and we thought we\u2019d miss our flight \u2026 and during a walk to the park when there was a beautiful sight to behold.<\/p>\n

What I noticed most was a visible difference in anxiety levels upon the return trip \u2013 less angst about airport security, school assignments, appearance, and upcoming events, like the babysitting job. I wasn\u2019t sure there was a connection, but the difference felt like a stabilizer in an unsteady time.<\/p>\n

When my daughters and I arrived home, there was a package waiting. A dear reader of my blog sent each of us a necklace that had a tiny map of the entire world. \u201cGo be love<\/em>,\u201d two of the beautiful medallions read. The other said, “Love knows no borders.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Natalie walked through the kitchen and immediately picked up one of the necklaces and asked where it came from. I told her about the giver and the note of explanation that was inside the box. In an effort to bring healing to a broken and isolating time in her life, this woman recently began a \u201clove mission,\u201d and our family was on her gratitude list.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow. This is pretty amazing considering I just applied for a learning trip to East Africa<\/a>,\u201d Natalie said.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d had the exact same thought when I saw the map of the world and the message inscribed.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

But what Natalie said next truly astounded me. \u201cRemember how you said an object can be a focus point in the 60-second breather? Well, I will be able to hold this charm throughout the day and remember my purpose when school pressures start getting to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

I must have walked by the other two necklaces fifty times before I sat down and really studied them. And when I did, I automatically closed my eyes and prayerfully listened to my breathing. Avery\u2019s elderly friend \u201cAnnie,\u201d who recently passed away, vividly came into my mind.<\/p>\n

Go be love. <\/em><\/h3>\n

The words echoed in my brain and felt like a direction I was supposed to take. I walked into Avery\u2019s room and said, \u201cI think we need to go to the nursing home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although she didn\u2019t have quite the same enthusiasm as when Annie was alive, Avery packed up her guitar and said, \u201cI\u2019ll play three songs for Mama J.\u201d<\/p>\n

As we were about to walk out of the house, Avery stopped at the necklaces lovingly displayed on the counter and asked me to put one on her.<\/p>\n

Go be love. <\/em><\/h3>\n

As we entered the building I noticed Avery closed her eyes momentarily. The temperature, the smell, the sights are a lot for a Noticer. I watched as she stopped to take her one-minute breather, as if prayerfully gathering herself to go forward in courage and love.<\/p>\n

Mama J was surprised to see us. Although this was our fifth visit in the past few months, she did not remember us. But as always, she tapped her hand on the blanket in time with the music \u2026 she told Avery she was a \u201crainbow in her cloud,\u201d \u2026 and that she was too tired to sing, but then she sang anyway.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Avery ended up playing more than three songs, and Mama showed her appreciation with candy from her big box of Valentine chocolates. Avery chose the only heart shaped piece in the box just as Mama J said, \u201cTake as much as you want, Baby. That is from my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Avery packed up her guitar, I noticed I did not have the same feeling of peace I normally do after a visit. I attributed it to Annie\u2019s absence, but that wasn\u2019t it.\u00a0It was the sadness radiating from Mama\u2019s roommate. I\u2019d been watching her beyond the privacy curtain throughout our visit.<\/p>\n

As we were leaving the room, I stopped at the foot of the woman\u2019s bed. Despite the vibe that screamed, \u201cleave me be,\u201d I spoke to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello,\u201d I said. \u201cHow are you today?\u201d<\/p>\n

She grumbled something incoherent.<\/p>\n

As I turned to go, she unexpectedly said, \u201cDid you bring a cat in here one time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. We brought in our cat Paisley,\u201d I said smiling at the unsmiling woman.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I remember you were wearing that hat you have on today,\u201d she said irritability.<\/p>\n

Suddenly I remembered her now too. \u201cOh \u2026 you have a cat at home, don\u2019t you? And you were hoping to get better so you could get back to your cat,\u201d I recalled.<\/p>\n

The woman looked down sadly. That conversation happened over year ago and not much had changed.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you getting better?\u201d I asked hopefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d the woman said, her bottom lip beginning to tremble.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am so sorry,\u201d I said gently. \u201cIt must be so hard to be here when you want to be home.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded as tears welled in her eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like us to bring Paisley to visit you?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

And just when I thought sorrow was permanently etched on this woman\u2019s face, her eyebrows raised ever so slightly. \u201cYou would do that?\u201d she asked in disbelief, her mouth curving upward into a partial smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, we would,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

Before I turned to go, I asked if there was anything else I could do for her today. That\u2019s when she pointed to the television remote that was lying on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t been able to reach it all day \u2026. and it\u2019s my lifeline to the world,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n

When I gave it to her I purposely touched her hand so that I might be her real, tangible, loving lifeline to the world \u2013 even for a millisecond.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s when I knew what I\u2019d been searching for during a time of fear, hopelessness, and chaos for my children and our world:<\/p>\n

Go be love \u2026 but first, get quiet. <\/em><\/h3>\n

Get centered.<\/p>\n

Get balanced.<\/p>\n

When the world is off kilter, we must restore balance within ourselves.<\/h3>\n

Balance excessive information with thoughtful introspection <\/em><\/p>\n

Balance mindless talking with attentive listening<\/em><\/p>\n

Balance frenzied doing with prayerful being<\/em><\/p>\n

Balance biased opinions with heart-held beliefs \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Balance the superficial and fleeting with the deep and enduring <\/em><\/p>\n

Vital to our personal and global healing is holding our hearts. But how? That sounds so elusive. It is as simple as closing our eyes and focusing on the sound of our own miraculous breath.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What images come to mind?<\/p>\n

What truths come to surface?<\/p>\n

What hope comes to fruition?<\/p>\n

What prompts come to life?<\/p>\n

When we are willing to sit and be still in the gap of nothingness, the elusive unknowns aren\u2019t so elusive anymore. That is when our heart becomes a map of the world, giving definitive direction to hard questions like:<\/p>\n

What should I do?<\/p>\n

Which way do I go?<\/p>\n

How can I help?<\/p>\n

What should I say?<\/p>\n

What is my purpose here?<\/p>\n

Using our heart as our guide is how we find our way out of the dark, going to places where pain resides, saying things we didn\u2019t know we knew, and doing things we didn\u2019t think we had the courage to do.<\/h3>\n

That is when we get the opportunity to pick someone\u2019s heart up off the floor \u2026 and ours right along with it.<\/p>\n

And for a millisecond, the view of the world looks a whole lot brighter.<\/p>\n

Go be love. <\/em><\/p>\n

But first, get quiet.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\n**********************************<\/p>\n

Dear friends of the The Hands Free Revolution<\/a>, it gives me great joy and peace to see your faces in person at my speaking events. This Sunday, March 3rd<\/sup> I will be keynoting t<\/em><\/strong>he\u00a07th Annual Mom, Me, & Tea Fundraising Event<\/a>\u00a0for the MCR Foundation for the Prevention of Eating Disorders in Chattanooga, TN. On Thursday, May 3, I will be speaking at the <\/em><\/strong>University of Central Missouri. This is the inaugural event for the Whiteman Spouses\u2019 Club Speaker Series. The WSC provides resources and support to military families at Whiteman Air Force Base and to their surrounding communities.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>If you\u2019d like to be notified when tickets go on sale online, or arrange for a group of tickets, please email\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>wscspeakerseries@gmail.com<\/a>. There are more speaking events in the works and I will be adding them to my speaking page soon. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

If you have not visited the Hands Free Shop in a while, there are four gorgeous new prints: GET OFF THE SCALE<\/a>, FACING FEAR MANIFESTO<\/a>, and Only Love Today in edgy lettering<\/a> and in whimsical lettering<\/a>. Thank you for being part of the Hands Free Revolution! Your support and love give me hope.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

*The next session of SOUL SHIFT, my new online course, begins April 23. Feedback from current course members indicate life-changing shifts are occurring using the painful truths and healing tools I poured into this 8-week journey. Click here<\/a> to be notified when registration opens in April.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cBreathe in, breathe out, Move on and break down, If everyone goes away, I will stay.\u201d \u2013Mat Kearney My daughters and I traveled 500 hundred miles last week to visit my parents in Florida. The timing felt divine. My heavy heart knew I needed to retreat \u2026 to be quiet \u2026 to shut out the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":7995,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1826,1761,1769,1766,1780,1747,1760,1763,1785,28,1824,1768],"tags":[],"gutentor_comment":12,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/DSC_0473-e1519998254288.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-24Y","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7996"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7996"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7996\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}