Do you do that before you leave a hotel room, a friend\u2019s house, a coffee shop, or an airplane seat? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did I leave anything behind<\/em>? You ask, surveying the area for material items you can see with your eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But what about the things you can\u2019t see? <\/p>\n\n\n\n As I surveyed the cozy guest room as the morning light streamed in, I had an unusual response to the typical question, did I leave anything behind? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes.<\/em> I thought to myself. I left behind a piece of fear, and I\u2019m going to leave it there. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope it gets swept away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Three days prior, I\u2019d vowed I would not forget how I felt when I walked into that room for the first time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Afraid. <\/p>\n\n\n\n What have I done?<\/em> I\u2019d said all those things to myself when I arrived. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Using a coping strategy that helps me be brave, I said: By Monday morning, it will be a memory. Just three days, and it will be over. You can do this. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n After freshening up from my long travel day, I\u2019d walked across campus to the beautiful building where I would teach the first evening session. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Who might also feel scared?<\/em> I wondered as I entered, immediately noticing the warm wood, the high beams, and the feeling of sanctuary surrounding me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She said: When I learned you were coming here six months ago, I began building up to being away from my son who has severe anxiety. We started with a couple hours\u2026 an evening\u2026 and little by little, we made it to this weekend. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She said: My partner didn\u2019t see the value nor understand why I needed to get on a plane and be at this retreat. He wondered why I couldn\u2019t just get my girlfriends together instead. I told him, I need this; I know I\u2019m supposed to be here. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Grieving the loss of her beloved child, yet traveling 2,000 miles to thank me for the \u201ckiss on the hand\u201d moments she\u2019d experienced with her daughter for three sacred years before she passed away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Describing an emotional breakdown she'd had earlier in the week that inspired her to find this retreat, and how she moved heaven and earth to get here. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Confessing the daily torment of staring at a wall in her work cubicle when she knows she is made for human connection, creativity, and purpose. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Over and over that night, I found her and him, <\/strong> What makes a person go to such lengths and expend such effort to answer their heart\u2019s calling when it would be easier to ignore it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n I heard the same reason over and over: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Because a little voice of belief said, \u201cYou are supposed to be here, and you will walk away different <\/em>than you arrive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n After the last person left the building that night, I surveyed the room. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Did we leave anything behind? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes. Oh yes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Doubt I marveled at the remains scattered across the floor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Come morning, I hoped they would be swept away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The next day, our group of fifty-one had the honor of gathering near the Mother Tree\u2014a 1200-year old Sequoia that is surrounded by several smaller trees that are connected to her at the base. That morning, we\u2019d worked on The Practice of Presence and had time for thoughtful introspection. There, in the sanctuary of the redwoods, people were invited to share their hearts. One by one, five brave women came forth to share their truths and revelations that began with: \u201cI am closest to what matters when\u2026 and I am farthest from grasping what matters when\u2026\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n As we began working our way out of the amphitheater to go to lunch, I noticed how people gravitated towards each other. Through the stories shared out loud, people who experienced similar childhoods, similar challenges, similar hopes and dreams were able to find each other. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I turned and looked back at the stage decorated with seeds from the tall trees. I saw what we\u2019d left behind\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n Painful baggage Come morning, I hoped they would be swept away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n On the last morning of the retreat, I\u2019d asked one of the participants who works in the tech industry to contribute his thoughts on a definition. After doing so (and making us all laugh in the process), he asked if he could say something to the other participants. Being a young man, he had a unique perspective and wanted to share it. To put it simply, he said, \u201cI see you. I see the effort you made to be here for yourself and your families. I see the lengths you go to bring love into the lives of those you care about. I may have not told my mom I appreciated her, so I am saying it now.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I felt the whole room release a deep exhale, and I was then aware of what I must do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019d been thinking about one particular participant and knew that in two weeks she would attend a memorial service, marking the one-year-anniversary of her daughter\u2019s passing and the passing of three other beloved community members who were killed in the same tragic incident. The beautiful woman admitted this would be extremely hard for her, but knew it was something she felt called to do. Perhaps if she could see<\/strong> visual evidence of where she\u2019d been and the strength she possesses, she would be fueled. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As she was leaving, I gave her a tangible anchor. I was not expecting her sister to give me something in return, right off her wrist and onto mine. It was a piece of her niece\u2019s glorious light. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Did precious Autumn leave anything behind? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh yes, yes\u2026 I rejoiced. I felt it, deep down in my heart. And I would carry it with me as I continue to share the kiss-on-the-hand moment that led her mother to my work five years ago and enabled them to experience a sacred connection to one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Three days later, I am sitting in my house with a sick daughter, staring at work duties that have piled up, preparing for an interview that I have no energy to give, and finding it hard to remember the hope I felt over the weekend. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I stare at the list of interview questions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One jumps out at me: <\/p>\n\n\n\n What does it mean to live fully? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I knew the kind of answer that was expected\u2014something positive, warm and fuzzy, and uplifting\u2026 but living fully is not always these things I decide honestly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It means finding your voice, even when you feel unheard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It means facing painful truths, even when it would be easier to push them away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It means showing up, even when you don\u2019t feel ready or equipped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It means reaching for connection, even when your hands shake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It means forgiving yourself, even when you don\u2019t feel worthy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It means tuning into the small, still voice of belief, even when doubt is loud and obnoxious. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Living fully is not something we can see. Most of the time, there is no evidence of it. Most people will walk right by, having no idea the lengths a human being is going to SHOW UP as herself to make her unique contribution to the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But during the Soul Shift retreat, I saw it\u2026 because I felt<\/em> it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And suddenly, I felt fueled to do the interview so I could share these important truths\u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n The most significant achievements are not measurable. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The most beautiful moments are not capturable. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The most divine places not locatable. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The most important progress is not quantifiable. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The most astounding transformations are not visible. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n They are felt, On night five of Avery\u2019s horrible sickness, she asked if I would read to her. She is thirteen, so this is not a common request. I hurriedly looked for a book before she could change her mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I grabbed my father-in-law\u2019s copy of Only Love Today<\/a><\/strong> <\/a>that has sat on my bedside since his passing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI have the best book to read to you,\u201d I said jokingly to my daughter who was hunkered down in her bed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I flipped to the table of contents to see what reflection she might like best. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhen I Changed You\u2026\u201d Avery read aloud. \u201cI bet that\u2019s about me changing you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n We read that one and several other stories that made us giggle over my former controlling ways and sweet observations she\u2019d made as a child. Then she made one of my poems into a silly song and we could not stop laughing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It was the first time I saw Avery laugh in five days. How remarkable that these honest reflections that were not my shining moments years ago were my shining moments now\u2014now that mistakes had become stepping-stones to a more loving version of myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I was about to close Avery\u2019s door and say goodnight when I looked back to see if I\u2019d left anything behind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Among tangled sheets, half-filled glasses of water, and used tissues, I saw: mistakes of the past I closed my eyes in gratitude. Thank God, I did not let the mistakes of my past sabotage the opportunities of today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is what it means to live fully. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Dear ones, at this moment, I am looking around this space we share, looking for someone who might feel scared, worn down, unseen, and perhaps a bit hopeless. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And right now, I\u2019m asking you to stop what you are doing and survey the area. <\/p>\n\n\n\n What did you leave behind as you show up, bravely, boldly, flawed and full of hope today? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n See the evidence of living fully that cannot be detected with the human eye. <\/p>\n\n\n\n See it in the unmade bed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n See it in the changing colors of the trees. <\/p>\n\n\n\n See it in the lines of your hands. <\/p>\n\n\n\n See it when your people breathe easier when you\u2019re near. <\/p>\n\n\n\n See it when you dare to document your greatest hopes and dreams. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether you realize it or not, you have a persistent voice of belief within you, and you\u2019ve chosen to listen to it time and time again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Stop and take it in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Marvel at what you\u2019ve left behind as you stepped forward in courage and love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Come morning, may the things that once held you back be forever swept away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n **************************************<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends of the Hands Free Revolution, many of you expressed a desire to attend my first-ever Soul Shift retreat at <\/em><\/strong>1440 Multiversity<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, so I felt it was very important to offer this glimpse of the weekend to you in words and photos. The photos in this post were taken by my dear friend <\/em><\/strong>Amy Paulson<\/em><\/strong><\/a> who has an extraordinary gift for capturing the moments that matter. She often travels to various parts of the country to offer family and individual photography sessions. They are nothing short of remarkable so stay informed <\/em><\/strong>here<\/em><\/strong><\/a>. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I was truly heartbroken by the number of people who messaged me the week of the retreat saying they did not know about it in time. I began promoting the retreat on my blog, <\/em><\/strong>Facebook<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, and <\/em><\/strong>Instagram<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, six months ago and shared it every month until the week before. This is the tricky thing about relying on social media to stay informed about events and invitations I offer because the algorithms on those platforms severely limit my reach. Therefore, if you are not an email friend, PLEASE become one today by simply entering your email <\/em><\/strong>here<\/em><\/strong><\/a>. Those who receive my newsletter\/blog are the first to receive exclusive invitations and special offerings. If you get my emails, then you will not miss knowing where I am speaking next or where I will be leading future retreats. There is an incredibly important invitation for connection coming in mid-November that I am certain some of you will want to take part in. There is another one coming in January and another in February. Please be my <\/em><\/strong>email friend<\/em><\/strong><\/a> and do not miss the invitations. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In a related note, my next speaking event is happening on November 7, 2019 from 11am to 1pm. I will be delivering the keynote address at <\/em><\/strong>Girl Talk\u2019s<\/em><\/strong><\/a> inaugural, \u201c<\/em><\/strong>Live Confidently, Lead Fearlessly<\/em><\/strong><\/a>\u201d Luncheon in Atlanta, Georgia. Funds raised will serve 10,000 girls this year through <\/em><\/strong>GIRL TALK\u2019S<\/em><\/strong><\/a> transformative peer-to-peer mentoring program. The amazing Haley Kilpatrick founded the first Girl Talk Chapter in Albany, Georgia, as a high schooler in 2002 to help her sister through the challenging years of middle school. Today, <\/em><\/strong>GIRL TALK<\/em><\/strong><\/a> has over 485 Chapters and has inspired over 70,000 girls across the nation and the world. Please consider joining me on Nov. 7. Together, we can impact even more girls to live confidently, lead fearlessly, and grow into women who support and encourage one another. Click <\/em><\/strong>here<\/em><\/strong><\/a> for tickets & sponsorship opportunities. Exactly one week ago, I took a photo of the room I stayed in during my three-day Soul Shift retreat in California. It was the first time I\u2019d led a retreat, and in order to show up for it, I had to listen to the persistent voice of belief rather than the pesky voice of doubt. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":8919,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1747,1760,1816,1741,1753,1736,1838,1785,1745,1746,1781,1854,18],"tags":[1850],"gutentor_comment":6,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1167_SoulShiftTeaching_amyp_October19-4-2.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-2jk","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8886"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8886"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8886\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8919"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/IMG_1922.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Now I have to do this.<\/em>
This feels like a lot. <\/em>
There\u2019s no going back. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1027_SoulShiftDetails_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nI found her. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I found her. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I found her,<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I found her, <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I found her, <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Human beings overcoming tremendous obstacles\u2014fear, other people\u2019s opinions, doubt, pride, negative self-talk, expectations, and logistic challenges\u2014to come to this place and be seen just as they are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1035_SoulShiftTeaching_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1022_SoulShiftTeaching_amyp_October19-2.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Fear
Shame
Unworthiness
Resentment <\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/IMG_6536.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1166_SoulShiftTeaching_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1159_SoulShiftTeaching_amyp_October19-405x270.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Damaging beliefs
Hurtful comments
Guilt
Regret <\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1029_SoulShiftGroupImages_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1071_SoulShiftGroupImages_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1042_SoulShiftGroupImages_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1094_SoulShiftTeaching_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nLiving fully means letting your heart lead, even when the world tries to dissuade you and derail you. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1057_SoulShiftDetails_amyp_October19.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
in the heart
in quivering hands
in eye to eye contact
in soul to soul connection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1167_SoulShiftTeaching_amyp_October19-2.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
guilt
shame
belief that it was too late to change. <\/p>\n\n\n\nI found you.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
I may not know exactly where you\u2019ve been on your brave journey, but I am certain you have been somewhere worth recognizing. <\/h4>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/1037_SoulShiftGroupImages_amyp_October19.jpg\")
Thank you for your love & support of my life's work. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"