{"id":9191,"date":"2020-06-09T06:56:21","date_gmt":"2020-06-09T12:56:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=9191"},"modified":"2020-06-09T08:13:57","modified_gmt":"2020-06-09T14:13:57","slug":"when-we-set-start-points-to-fight-hate-love-gets-feet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2020\/06\/09\/when-we-set-start-points-to-fight-hate-love-gets-feet\/","title":{"rendered":"When We Set Start Points to Fight Hate, Love Gets Feet"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
\u201cConversations about race are really conversations about human pain<\/em>.\u201d –Krystle Cobran<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I can tell you where my anti-racism journey started. <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d walked through the Kigali Genocide Memorial in Rwanda where 250,000 victims of the mass slaughter of nearly one million people <\/sup>have been laid to rest. The visitor center exists for those wishing to understand the events leading up to the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi and remember those who perished. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For hours, I walked somberly through the memorial, studying the names, faces, and stories of children and adults who were brutally killed because of their ethnicity. To see how far hatred (and the silence of many unwilling to speak up) could take human beings that they would commit atrocities against their family, neighbors, and friends was painful to acknowledge and difficult to comprehend. 

When it was nearing time to leave, I noticed a member of our learning team, a Black woman, who\u2019d sat for a long time by herself in the memorial garden. When she got up, I quietly asked if I could walk with her. After a few moments of walking together, I asked if she was ok, and then I listened. What she described as a Black woman living in America today compounded the unease I felt in my stomach from what I\u2019d just witnessed in the memorial. All at once, I felt the magnitude of my privilege that had allowed me to be ignorant of the realities and tolls of racism and injustice in our country. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can tell you where my anti-racism journey started. <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Upon returning home, I set out to learn what I did not know about systemic racism and oppression from Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) who live this experience daily and have given permission for others to learn from them. I began with the work of Rachel Cargle<\/a>, Austin Channing Brown<\/a>, and Brittany Packnett Cunningham<\/a>. I began following No White Saviors<\/a> on Instagram. More often than not, what I read and learned was uncomfortable; I began to see clearly how I\u2019d benefited from a society that entitles whiteness and its cost on the lives of Black and Indigenous people. I began to see that I had a great deal of work to do to recognize my own racial biases and prejudices, unlearn beliefs that were developed in isolation of BIPOC, and reconstruct a new sense of reality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can tell you where my anti-racism journey started. <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As I sought to listen to voices of Black educators and those directly impacted by racism, I came across inclusion specialist and author, Krystle Cobran<\/a>, and her podcast The Space Between Us<\/a><\/strong>. While on a walk one afternoon, these profound words Krystle spoke literally stopped me in my tracks: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd what I realized is, I\u2019d run into what I call, The Space Between Us<\/strong>. And it goes like this: So, there\u2019s this person who is not a person of color, and there\u2019s this deepening awareness about the daily life experiences of people of color. It\u2019s either a gradual awakening or it's a super-fast awakening, and as the person is coming to this awareness, there\u2019s this, \u2018Oh dear God, how could I have missed this? How could I have not understood that this is life for so many people?\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And there is then a reaching out across the space. 

On the other end, is a person who is a person of color who has been living the experience and is sort of like: \u2018I see you, but I can\u2019t unpack this for you because this pain that invades every facet of my life is too much to bear\u2026 so I cannot unpack this for you.\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, there\u2019s this space that exists between us, and we don\u2019t know how to cross it. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The way we cross that space as human beings is by finding ways to share what the experience of race feels like from multiple angles, which brings us to the podcast and why we\u2019re having the conversations we\u2019re having this way. This is a coming together of our stories; it\u2019s a learning to see one another in the fullness of our humanity; it\u2019s learning to listen and share in ways that draw us deeper into connection and belonging. 

Thank you for listening; thank you for having the courage to connect; thank you for sharing your story; I am so excited to walk this journey with you.\u201d (source<\/a>) <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Upon hearing Krystle\u2019s words, I sat down on the curb of a quiet street and wept. I wept with gratitude that this human being named Krystle Cobran existed in the world and was willing to share her pain, her experience, her wisdom, and her skills to create a world where human beings are seen, heard, and valued. From the curb, beneath the hot July sun, I sent her an Instagram message expressing my deepest thanks for her work and her invitation. 

As Krystle and I came to know each other on a personal basis, I was able to ask if she would permit me to recommend her when I received podcast interview requests. Krystle said yes, and during one interview, she mentioned where she lived. I was overjoyed to learn that we lived within an hour of one another. She suggested we get together, and it became customary to meet in person and talk about life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

During one such lunch that we shared, Krystle told me what it was like to navigate this world as a Black woman. Through her emotion, her story, her truth, I committed myself to continued self-reflection in order to be an effective ally<\/a> for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I told Krystle what I\u2019d witnessed and realized during my trip to Rwanda, she said something I\u2019ve never forgotten: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOnce you see, you can\u2019t unsee.\u201d <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Krystle\u2019s words have come back to me again and again, but especially over the past two weeks as I, and many others, have realized that being non-racist is not enough; we must be actively anti-racist<\/strong>, which requires education, accountability, and action, in order to fight for justice and support Black lives. (source<\/a>)  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can tell you where my anti-racism journey started. <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Two days ago, Avery and I drove an hour from home to attend a peaceful gathering that gave young Black people the opportunity to speak of the pain they have endured and their hope for real change. Leading off the event with an Indigenous land acknowledgement was our beloved friend, Kaitlin Curtice<\/a>, who is an author<\/a>, speaker, and member of the Potawatomi Nation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Avery and I stood beneath the blazing noonday sun in awe of this woman whose work has opened our eyes to the impact of colonization and Native erasure, as well as revealed decolonization as an invitation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We stood in awe of each young Black person who bravely shared their story and their prayer that they could one day live safely and equally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We stood in awe as Black ministers and leaders called on each person in attendance to take action in our own communities and invited us to walk with them on the long road ahead. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Avery and I made our way to the car afterwards, she said, \u201cThank you for bringing me here. I know what I am going to do.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt the urge to ask Avery what action she was going to take in the fight against racism, but I didn\u2019t. This is her<\/em> anti-racism journey, not mine, and it had begun, as it would begin again and again, until our Black, Indigenous, and friends of color are truly free.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I can tell you where my journey towards anti-racism started.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
And I hope you can tell me your start points too.

But wouldn\u2019t it be even better to show <\/em>one another through the real change we begin to see in society as a result of our individual and collective efforts to live love<\/em>?<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Poet and activist, Cleo Wade<\/a> says it best in her poem, Love Is an Action Verb<\/strong>, from Heart Talk<\/a><\/em>: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI loved back 
Not because 
Their love 
Sounded sweet
But because 
Their love 
Had feet. 
It did not 
Tell you where 
It was going
It showed 
You\u201d<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear ones, where are we going? It is up to us. Our eyes have been opened, and we have been offered resource upon resource that show us how to build a more humane, inclusive, and just world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the first time in history, we might just fill The Space Between Us<\/strong> with love in motion<\/em>, strong enough to break down barriers and create monumental change. 

My hand in yours. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Dear friends<\/strong>, last week, on my social media platforms, I participated in the #AmplifyMelanatedVoices challenge<\/a>. Created by mental health therapist Alishia McCullough and activist Jessica Wilson, the challenge called social media users to mute their own content and elevate and celebrate the voices of Black activists, artists, educators, and business owners. I encourage you to visit those posts on my FB page<\/a> and IG account<\/a>, as well as explore the links included in today's post, which include the women who have most profoundly impacted my anti-racism journey, as well as educators, healers, and leaders I have recently discovered. <\/strong><\/em>

Because our narrative about self and fellow human beings is shaped and informed by the voices to which we listen, listening to the lived experiences of others is a vital practice for the wellbeing of humanity. I am committed to continuing to use my privilege and platform this way, but I will also be doing deep, reflective work using this brilliant guide, JUSTICE IN JUNE<\/a>, created by Autumn Gupta and Bryanna Wallace. I have asked two friends to be my accountability partners, so we do not burden Black educators with our questions but instead use the countless resources in existence to find answers and stay committed to doing the work. I share my personal commitment in hopes that it encourages you to seek out sources of education and awakening, as well as join initiatives under the leadership of Black people in your own communities. Please be certain to pay and support the work of those who educate and lead you. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Together, there is hope.  <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can tell you where my anti-racism journey started.  I\u2019d walked through the Kigali Genocide Memorial in Rwanda where 250,000 victims of the mass slaughter of nearly one million people have been laid to rest. The visitor center exists for those wishing to understand the events leading up to the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9195,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1862,1837],"tags":[],"gutentor_comment":1,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/IMG_8621.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-2of","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9191"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9191"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9191\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9191"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9191"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9191"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}