{"id":9213,"date":"2020-08-05T06:54:28","date_gmt":"2020-08-05T12:54:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=9213"},"modified":"2020-08-05T07:17:53","modified_gmt":"2020-08-05T13:17:53","slug":"the-cup-that-changed-my-crisis-mode-response-fill-yours-up-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2020\/08\/05\/the-cup-that-changed-my-crisis-mode-response-fill-yours-up-here\/","title":{"rendered":"The Cup that Changed My \u2018Crisis Mode\u2019 Response. Fill Yours Up Here"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I am not the same person I was 37 days ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That may sound dramatic, maybe even impossible \u2013 but it\u2019s my truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

37 days ago, I was NOT in a good place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was living in reaction mode, allowing external factors to sabotage the peace and stability of my inner world.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt utterly inundated and completely empty. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was out of sync and needed a new rhythm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I did the most basic act of self-care act there is: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I filled my cup \u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

literally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I opened the kitchen cabinet that holds a collection of aluminum water cups. One particular cup caught my eye. Written on the side in bold script was the message: CREATE EVERY DAY. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I received this cup as gift from a publicity company after my third book <\/a>released. I remember rolling my eyes and thinking: Wow, the pressure to produce truly does come from every direction, even from our drinking cups! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The off-putting message almost made me give the cup away, but seeing it was of such good quality, I kept it. I completely forgot about that cup until 37 days ago when I sought to establish a new, healing life rhythm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each morning, I grabbed my CREATE EVERY DAY cup, filled it with water, and drank it. Along with that intentional action, I did something else. I paired a book (or two) with my phone, so that anytime I felt compelled to reach for my phone, I reached for a book instead. The book and the phone traveled everywhere together, allowing me to read several remarkable books in one week\u2019s time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Beginning the day with these two actions created momentum that caused the rest of the day to go in a more positive, loving, and intentional direction. Rather than letting external factors dictate my behavior, thoughts, and emotions, I was CHOOSING what to let into my inner world. In a relatively short time, I felt less anxious and more at peace. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Given my newfound stability, I decided it was time to do something I\u2019d been putting off for months. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Written in my July calendar were five words that marked the fruition of a two-year dream\u2014going back to Rwanda<\/a> with both of my daughters and members of my online community to meet friends we\u2019d made through African Road<\/a>. In May, it was clear the trip would not be happening, but I couldn\u2019t bring myself to officially remove it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was now time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I erased the words, \u201cOnly Love + Togetherness Learning Trip<\/em>,\u201d the calendar ripped, leaving a gaping hole. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I stared at the hole, my brain began taking inventory of the countless losses I\u2019d experienced, both personally and professionally, over the past few months. All at once, every single thing taken from me came to the forefront. Anger and despair welled up inside me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It didn\u2019t surprise me that the next morning, I had no motivation to fill my water cup, read, learn, and grow. In fact, I found it difficult to get out of bed.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If not for my daughter\u2019s multiple medical appointments that day, I am not sure I would have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On July 10th, Avery and I found ourselves getting in the car before the sun came up for an unexpected oral surgery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breaking the silence in the car, Avery blurted, \u201cWe are supposed to be in Africa with our Togetherness friends right now. Instead, I am having my fourth oral surgery and adjusting to another new back brace.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a moment, I paused. There was a response on my tongue \u2013 it was the typical response \u2013 that maybe this is the way it\u2019s supposed to be\u2026 that maybe this was the bigger plan all along\u2026 that maybe this is a blessing in disguise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But given my own painful awareness, I couldn\u2019t bring myself to say the typical response. In fact, I thought to myself: These times are anything BUT typical\u2014and to behave as if they are, only compounds the pain<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taking a deep breath, I said what I\u2019d want someone to say to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am so sorry, Avery. This is not how it\u2019s supposed to be.\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Period. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said nothing about hidden blessings or opportunities for growth \u2013 because<\/strong> until we acknowledge the hard that IS, we cannot possibly see the good that can BECOME.   <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For several days, I stayed close to Avery\u2019s side, helping her heal while feeling sorry for myself. I used the unexpected situation as an excuse to neglect the positive habits I\u2019d started at the beginning of the month. I stopped drinking out of my water cup and guzzled diet soda. I stopped carrying a book around with my phone and mindlessly scrolled. I stopped eating lunch on the porch with the trees and failed to properly nourish myself. I stopped reaching out to people and stayed closed up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s the use?<\/em> I asked myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Natalie, my newly turned 17-year-old daughter, unknowingly answered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, have you been Creating Every Day<\/em>?\u201d she asked one morning with a curious smile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was shocked. Not only had she noticed the water cup I\u2019d carried around for a week, but she\u2019d also noticed its absence.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suddenly, the cup\u2019s message had new meaning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Under normal circumstances, CREATE EVERY DAY is another pressure-filled message to produce tangible results that can be observed, measured, and judged in the external world. But through my daughter\u2019s eyes during a global pandemic, CREATE EVERY DAY meant engaging in small, intentional acts that bring invisible, yet vital peace to our INNER world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through two daily practices, I\u2019d created an impression \u2013 and this was not the time to give up! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I quickly retrieved one of the transformative books I\u2019d read during the first week of July. In author and activist Cleo Wade\u2019s<\/a> newest book, WHERE TO BEGIN<\/a>, she writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen we show up as a person who is cared for and loved, we have the energy and ability to approach the world\u2019s problems with optimism and hope. When we are cared for, we are in the best possible headspace to find solutions for our communities that are kind, humane, just, moral, and ethical. <\/em>

No matter what your day looks like, I encourage you to find a moment to give yourself care. Self-care is how we claim peace of mind.<\/span> When we know how to gift peace to our inner world, the pathway to creating peace in the world around us is so much clearer.\u201d <\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Never in a million years would have thought the C in \u2018crisis\u2019 stood for CREATE, but that was before the world turned upside down, forcing us to acknowledge the holes, inconsistencies, and inequities in our society that we powered through or blatantly ignored before. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The C in \u2018crisis\u2019 is a call to create something that never existed before\u2014loving ways of existing that honor our most inherent needs so we have the strength to advocate for a more loving world for all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through intentional self-care practices, we can replenish ourselves as well as the world\u2019s scarcest commodities, such as connection, calm, compassion, kindness, empathy, peace, awareness, and understanding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And on the days we find it difficult to get out of bed, let\u2019s access the other C\u2019s: crawl, cry, comfort, call out for help \u2013 but we must not give up. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the fourth day of Avery\u2019s healing process, I heard the C chord coming from her bedroom. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although she could barely open her mouth, she was attempting to sing and strum her guitar, the most beloved act of self-care that she practices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stood at the door listening and crying because her self-care practice goes far beyond self, reaching hurting souls in need of comfort and acceptance. The song she was composing would someday create healing for someone else, just as it was for her in that moment.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although I still couldn\u2019t bring myself to say, \u2018this is how it\u2019s supposed to be,\u2019 hearing Avery creating in crisis <\/em>brought me inexplicable peace, as well as the inspiration to fill my cup every day since. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My friends, now\u2019s our chance to create new rhythms and new, loving responses in a culture that\u2019s conditioned us to control, consume, and compete. This is how we\u2019ll CREATE CHANGE. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not the same person I was 37 days ago, and under normal circumstances, I might be reluctant to share my invisible transformation. But these are not normal times, and to act as if they are, only further isolates us and compounds our pain. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

 So today I extend my hand and offer you a bit of the peace I am creating within myself. I hope you\u2019ll accept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because filling your cup fills my own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s do it together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n

My friends, please accept these special opportunities to join me in becoming part of healing stories and communities of hope: <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) At the end of the month, I am leading another session of my shame-free, hope-filled online series, Soul Shift<\/em>. I\u2019ve updated the course to include hand in hand guidance and personal engagement as we face our current challenges together. I\u2019m calling it Soul Shift LIFT <\/em>and the journey begins on August 31st<\/sup>. Click here<\/a> to enter your email to be notified when the registration page goes live at an early-bird discounted rate.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) On August 16th<\/sup> at 4:15 PDT\/7:15 EDT, I invite you to be on my Only Love + Togetherness Team. We will virtually attend and support the African Road Virtual Gala Fundraiser<\/a> and enjoy dancing, drumming, and stories of hope, progress, and empowerment. Together, we can create more impact; more ID cards <\/a>to affirm the dignity of Indigenous people, more sustainability for Togetherness Youth Coop<\/a>, more savings and strength through VICOBA Plus<\/a> groups, and more Hope for Girls<\/a>. Together, with local Changemakers like our beloved Steven Turikunkiko<\/a> and Alice Kajoina<\/a>, we can create a more loving and just world.  

Click here<\/a> to register for $10 and reserve your virtual space. Do so by August 9, and you\u2019ll receive a lovingly prepared African Road Party Kit in the mail. After you register, please send an email to events@africanroad.org indicating you are part of Rachel\u2019s team so that I can properly thank you for joining in! Your participation in this Gala Fundraiser for an organization that is so near and dear to my family\u2019s heart means so much!  <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am not the same person I was 37 days ago. That may sound dramatic, maybe even impossible \u2013 but it\u2019s my truth. 37 days ago, I was NOT in a good place.  I was living in reaction mode, allowing external factors to sabotage the peace and stability of my inner world.   I felt utterly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9214,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1826,1761,1778,1742,1747,1760,1741,1763],"tags":[],"gutentor_comment":4,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_9286-scaled.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1fUJF-2oB","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9213"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9213"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9213\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9214"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}