{"id":9477,"date":"2022-10-07T07:51:31","date_gmt":"2022-10-07T13:51:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=9477"},"modified":"2022-10-07T07:51:33","modified_gmt":"2022-10-07T13:51:33","slug":"this-simple-five-second-rule-stops-words-before-they-wound","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2022\/10\/07\/this-simple-five-second-rule-stops-words-before-they-wound\/","title":{"rendered":"This Simple Five-Second Rule Stops Words Before They Wound"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Have you ever heard a statement that you immediately knew would change your life?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s how I felt when my then 15-year-old daughter Avery shared her thoughts about a negative comment made about her hair.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019d been going through some serious challenges at the time, and in an effort to individuate and gain a clearer sense of self, she decided to have her light blonde hair dyed a chestnut brown. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The change to her appearance was dramatic, and she immediately regretted it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We both agreed that developing a healthy sense of self requires trying things out \u2013 and through the risk she took with her hair, she\u2019d learned something about herself. Avery maturely accepted the fact that she would live with the darker hair until the color faded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At school, close friends were supportive of the new look, and most classmates barely gave it a second glance. My daughter was quite surprised when, about a week into the new look, an adult motioned her over and offered her opinion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHoney,\u201d the adult said disappointedly, \u201cYou had such pretty, long blonde hair. Why would you do that?\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Avery got into our car right after the inappropriate question was posed. As she relayed the conversation to me, I noticed my child\u2019s calmness, while I, on the other hand, was raging inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know what to say,\u201d Avery said matter-of-factly, \u201cBut it definitely confirms the five-second rule.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not knowing what the five-second rule was, I waited eagerly for Avery to tell me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo one should point out a \u2018problem\u2019 with someone else\u2019s appearance unless it takes less than five seconds to fix,\u201d she explained.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Avery then gave some examples of five-second fixes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n