{"id":9608,"date":"2023-02-27T08:20:18","date_gmt":"2023-02-27T14:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=9608"},"modified":"2023-02-27T09:46:47","modified_gmt":"2023-02-27T15:46:47","slug":"when-dreams-die-one-adjustment-you-can-make-to-nurture-new-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2023\/02\/27\/when-dreams-die-one-adjustment-you-can-make-to-nurture-new-life\/","title":{"rendered":"When Dreams Die: One Adjustment You Can Make to Nurture New Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"\"
“I'm terrified that I might never have met me<\/em>.”
-Noah Kahan, Growing Sideways<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n


I am a music lover. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One of my favorite things to do is introduce people to my favorite (and lesser-known) singer-songwriters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Years ago, this practice brought a member of my online community to the rich voice, crushing lyrics, and acoustic brilliance of Noah Kahan<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the fall, I received a message from this member asking if I was still a fan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I replied, thinking \u2018fan\u2019 was a huge understatement, especially considering I attended Noah's concert the very night before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I suspected the messenger might be surprised when I told him this, but I was the one who got the surprise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen you saw my son<\/a>! He\u2019s part of the band.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I got over my shock, I realized I didn\u2019t need to ask which member his son was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Throughout the concert, my friend, Maggie, and I were mesmerized by an unbelievably talented young musician. We\u2019d nicknamed him \u201cBaby Noah\u201d when we learned he shared the same name as the famous lead singer.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n


The father explained that when this incredible opportunity to join Noah\u2019s tour arose for his son (who had just started college), he felt inexplicable peace because he was already familiar with the artist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause of you, I knew him,\u201d the father wrote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I said I hoped to see his son in concert again, I wasn\u2019t expecting it to be so soon. Scott and I went on a road trip a few weeks ago to see \u2018the Noahs\u2019 in concert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amazingly, the father made a much longer trek to attend the concert with a friend who\u2019d known Baby Noah since he was an actual baby!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unbeknownst to the musician\u2019s dad, I got to see his face as he watched his child perform on stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I knew that look\u2014a beaming pride that spills from the eyes. As a parent, you hope and pray to see your child doing something they love, reaching their dreams, and touching lives with their gift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Watching this father watch his son share his musical talents with the world made me cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inspired\u2026 yes<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hopeful… yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Happy\u2026 yes<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But also\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Heartache <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was pain, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t that I\u2019d hoped to see my own musically gifted child up on stage one day, but never did I imagine her music would come to such an abrupt stop.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n


From age three to fourteen, Avery\u2019s music filled the house\u2026 and then, in the aftermath of a traumatic event, it didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trauma can take so much, toppling even the strongest tree with the deepest roots that you never expected to see come down.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This gaping hole, where music once lived in our lives, shook me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grief therapist, Jenni Brennan<\/a>, helped me understand why the impact has been so devastating. In her online workshop<\/a>, I learned her two-part definition of grief:<\/p>\n\n\n\n