I Have Today<\/a>,\u201d I wrote, \u201cThere are no guarantees that life will be as wonderful as it is today.\u201d And I know that it is true.<\/p>\nI know I should prepare in some way for that heart-breaking day, and I have spent several years trying to figure out how.<\/p>\n
But it is difficult, if not impossible, to fully appreciate each and every wonderful part of one\u2019s life until that part is no longer there. You know the saying, \u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve got until it\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought about that a few weeks ago when my dear neighbor and friend walked into a dinner at our church wheeling her beautiful mother who is currently being rehabilitated for a stroke that impaired her ability to verbally communicate.<\/p>\n
Shortly after the stroke, my tearful friend said, \u201cIt has been so hard not to be able to talk to my mom every day. We always talk every single day.\u201d<\/p>\n
And then she added something that I can\u2019t seem to forget.<\/p>\n
My friend explained, \u201cEver since I can remember, my mom has always said, \u2018I love you today\u2019 because you don\u2019t know what tomorrow will bring.\u201d<\/p>\n
I remember feeling a blanket of warmth surround me when my friend spoke those words. Here is a mother who had always told her daughter, \u201cI love you today\u201d just in case she was not able to say it the following day. And now this mother has lost (temporarily, I pray) her ability to say those words.<\/p>\n
The first thought that came to my mind upon learning of this mother\u2019s beautiful daily ritual was unexpected. My first thought was not one of sadness, nor one of disbelief. My very first thought was this: \u201cNo regrets. This extraordinary woman has no regrets.\u201d<\/p>\n
How? Because this incredibly wise and loving mother told her child every single day that she could, \u201cI love you today.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was in awe. I was inspired. I was moved beyond words.<\/p>\n
This mother had prepared\u2026.prepared for the heart-breaking day when you find yourself in the corner of a closet praying to God that you are dreaming and will soon wake up.<\/p>\n
How do I prepare for tragedy? How do I prepare for devastating loss? How do I prepare for indescribable pain?<\/p>\n
For me, this is one answer: No regrets.<\/p>\n
Regret No More.<\/p>\n
And now it is time for a list. Lists are concise. Lists are powerful. Lists are undeniable. Lists serve as concise, powerful and undeniable reminders.<\/p>\n
I have made a list of regrets. Some are mine. Some are yours. Some have been gathered through an informal process in which I call, \u201cHands Free Mama Research.\u201d<\/p>\n
I regret\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nWorrying about opinions that didn\u2019t matter<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nAccepting less love and respect than I deserve <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nToo often telling my children \u2018not right now\u2019 when they asked me to play<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot looking into the eyes of my children when they talked to me<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nRuining a perfectly good day with a bad attitude<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nComplaining about everything while people who truly suffered complained about nothing<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nTaking my eyes off my child <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nChoosing my own needs over those who needed me<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nThinking some people are less important than other people<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot saying, \u201cI love you,\u201d when I had the chance<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nHolding a grudge until it was too late.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nI regret\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nEvery self-depreciating name I called myself<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nPutting unrealistic pressure on myself<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNever knowing God<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nFiguring out what really mattered after it was too late<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot listening enough and talking too much<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot saying \u201cThank you\u201d more often<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d more often<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nIgnoring that little voice in my head<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot following my dreams<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot turning off my phone in my car when my children were present<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nIgnoring God\u2019s calling on my heart<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot making amends with those I had wronged<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot taking time to appreciate the unappreciated people who made my life easier<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNeglecting to ask my parents their favorite memories while I still could<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot encouraging my children every chance I got<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot letting my children help me make dinner before they stopped asking<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNeglecting to help that person when they were down and out<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nI regret\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nShortening my lifespan by the choices I made<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nRushing through life<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot getting out while I still could<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot embracing my body\u2019s imperfections<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot taking the time to rejoice every single day<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nWorrying instead of praying<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nNot living in the moment<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nPretending I was fully present when I really wasn\u2019t<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nFailing to recognize and appreciate every single gift in my life<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nTaking my loved ones for granted<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nTaking my life for granted<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n