{"id":985,"date":"2011-03-10T02:09:06","date_gmt":"2011-03-10T02:09:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/?p=985"},"modified":"2011-03-10T07:13:05","modified_gmt":"2011-03-10T07:13:05","slug":"regret-no-more","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.handsfreemama.com\/2011\/03\/10\/regret-no-more\/","title":{"rendered":"Regret No More"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

This is my visual reminder that tomorrow has no guarantee. Find an object that reminds you to live life without regret and keep it where you can see it.<\/p><\/div>\n

A few years ago I received a phone call that brought me to my knees. In fact, the news was so unbearable, so devastating that I crawled into the corner of my daughter\u2019s closet, as if hiding there would make it go away.<\/p>\n

The painful words I heard on the other end of the phone were words that my brain could not believe or understand. \u00a0Even now, many years later, I find them incomprehensible.<\/p>\n

As painful as it is to imagine, chances are I will receive another phone call like that in my lifetime.<\/p>\n

In a post entitled, \u201cI Have Today<\/a>,\u201d I wrote, \u201cThere are no guarantees that life will be as wonderful as it is today.\u201d And I know that it is true.<\/p>\n

I know I should prepare in some way for that heart-breaking day, and I have spent several years trying to figure out how.<\/p>\n

But it is difficult, if not impossible, to fully appreciate each and every wonderful part of one\u2019s life until that part is no longer there. You know the saying, \u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve got until it\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought about that a few weeks ago when my dear neighbor and friend walked into a dinner at our church wheeling her beautiful mother who is currently being rehabilitated for a stroke that impaired her ability to verbally communicate.<\/p>\n

Shortly after the stroke, my tearful friend said, \u201cIt has been so hard not to be able to talk to my mom every day. We always talk every single day.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then she added something that I can\u2019t seem to forget.<\/p>\n

My friend explained, \u201cEver since I can remember, my mom has always said, \u2018I love you today\u2019 because you don\u2019t know what tomorrow will bring.\u201d<\/p>\n

I remember feeling a blanket of warmth surround me when my friend spoke those words. Here is a mother who had always told her daughter, \u201cI love you today\u201d just in case she was not able to say it the following day. And now this mother has lost (temporarily, I pray) her ability to say those words.<\/p>\n

The first thought that came to my mind upon learning of this mother\u2019s beautiful daily ritual was unexpected. My first thought was not one of sadness, nor one of disbelief. My very first thought was this: \u201cNo regrets. This extraordinary woman has no regrets.\u201d<\/p>\n

How? Because this incredibly wise and loving mother told her child every single day that she could, \u201cI love you today.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was in awe. I was inspired. I was moved beyond words.<\/p>\n

This mother had prepared\u2026.prepared for the heart-breaking day when you find yourself in the corner of a closet praying to God that you are dreaming and will soon wake up.<\/p>\n

How do I prepare for tragedy? How do I prepare for devastating loss? How do I prepare for indescribable pain?<\/p>\n

For me, this is one answer: No regrets.<\/p>\n

Regret No More.<\/p>\n

And now it is time for a list. Lists are concise. Lists are powerful. Lists are undeniable. Lists serve as concise, powerful and undeniable reminders.<\/p>\n

I have made a list of regrets. Some are mine. Some are yours. Some have been gathered through an informal process in which I call, \u201cHands Free Mama Research.\u201d<\/p>\n

I regret\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Worrying about opinions that didn\u2019t matter<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Accepting less love and respect than I deserve <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Too often telling my children \u2018not right now\u2019 when they asked me to play<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not looking into the eyes of my children when they talked to me<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ruining a perfectly good day with a bad attitude<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Complaining about everything while people who truly suffered complained about nothing<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Taking my eyes off my child <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Choosing my own needs over those who needed me<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Thinking some people are less important than other people<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not saying, \u201cI love you,\u201d when I had the chance<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Holding a grudge until it was too late.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I regret\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Every self-depreciating name I called myself<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Putting unrealistic pressure on myself<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Never knowing God<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Figuring out what really mattered after it was too late<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not listening enough and talking too much<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not saying \u201cThank you\u201d more often<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d more often<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ignoring that little voice in my head<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not following my dreams<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not turning off my phone in my car when my children were present<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ignoring God\u2019s calling on my heart<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not making amends with those I had wronged<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not taking time to appreciate the unappreciated people who made my life easier<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Neglecting to ask my parents their favorite memories while I still could<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not encouraging my children every chance I got<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not letting my children help me make dinner before they stopped asking<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Neglecting to help that person when they were down and out<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I regret\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Shortening my lifespan by the choices I made<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Rushing through life<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not getting out while I still could<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not embracing my body\u2019s imperfections<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not taking the time to rejoice every single day<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Worrying instead of praying<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not living in the moment<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Pretending I was fully present when I really wasn\u2019t<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Failing to recognize and appreciate every single gift in my life<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Taking my loved ones for granted<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Taking my life for granted<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

What about you? What would your personal \u201cI Regret\u201d list look like? Make one today; no one has to see it but you. \u00a0Then slowly begin crossing out a \u201cregret\u201d as you begin changing the way you live\u2026with no regrets. Just imagine the overwhelming joy you will feel on the day when you can look at your list and see that it has dramatically shortened.<\/p>\n

Before I conclude this post, I feel compelled to share with you what happened after I crawled out of my daughter\u2019s closet on that fateful day.<\/p>\n

I was given a gift.<\/p>\n

I call it a gift because it has proven to be the most powerful \u201cRegret Preventer\u201d in my life.<\/p>\n

A grief stricken father stood before a crowd of mourners who gathered to celebrate the short, yet extraordinary life of his four-month-old baby girl.<\/p>\n

This father spoke with undeniable strength and steely resolve for the words he spoke contained a truth so painful that it drained the color from his face.<\/p>\n

As he spoke these words, I held my breath. And at that moment, his reality was etched across my heart.<\/p>\n

With remarkable composure he said, \u201cHug your child every day because you never know when it will be the last.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Now is your chance. Take one regret and begin living life in such a way that allows you to wipe it off the list. Whether it is to make amends, stop belittling yourself or your child, love your body for everything it has endured, stop talking or texting on the phone when your children are present, or to put your life-long dream into motion\u2026whatever that regret may be, begin erasing it today. You have the power to prepare for what may come. You have the power to Regret No More.<\/p>\n

The meaning of those eight words is so incredible they bear repeating: You have the power to Regret No More.<\/p>\n

And that, my friend, is an incredible gift.<\/p>\n

Before you start writing your list of regrets, please press the \u201cshare\u201d button below. Every one of us is living with the heavy burden of regret. Lighten someone\u2019s load today; tell him or her the time has come to Regret No More.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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