Live Undistracted, Heart Led, and Hands Free....Every Day

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ABOUT THE BOOK

Rachel Macy Stafford, known as the Hands Free Mama, equips readers to breathe life into what really matters: the ordinary moments in our routine lives and the people in them.

Stafford’s inspiring words fill this beautiful book of short pieces constructed around the seasons of life. This flexible, non-dated, moment-to-moment resource of encouragement can be picked up whenever you need to find meaning in the meaningless…when your soul is weary…when your heart is heavy…when your connections are weak. Only Love Today’s life-giving words remind you of the tools you already possess and the insights you already have to guide you back to what matters most. Regardless of what you’re experiencing or what season you’re in, you’ll find wisdom and encouragement to move each day in a positive direction.

  • Only Love Today—is clarity when you’re conflicted.
  • Only Love Today—is unity when you’re divided.
  • Only Love Today—is faith when you’re uncertain.
  • Only Love Today—is a reset button directing you back to what matters most.

With Only Love Today, you’ll feel more aligned with your heart so love can fuel you forward.

Pre-Order Now

Free Bonus Materials

When you pre-order a copy of Only Love Today by March 7th you'll also receive the following:

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OLT Coloring Pages

4 Only Love Today coloring pages to download to your computer, print out and color.

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OLT Printables

4 Only Love Today reminders to breathe posters to download to your computer, print out and post.

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OLT Phone Lock Screen

A digital lock screen to download to your phone and use as a wallpaper.

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OLT Bookmarks

4 Only Love Today seasonal bookmarks to download to your computer, print out and use

See Details Below

BOOK TRAILER

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ORDER ONLY LOVE TODAY BEFORE MARCH 7, 2017

When you order Only Love Today before March 7, 2017, you'll receive

  • 4 Only Love Today Coloring Pages
  • 4 Reminders to Breathe Downloadable Prints
  • An Only Love Today Lock Screen for your phone
  • 4 Only Love Today seasonal bookmarks

First, go to the retailer of your choice and order Only Love Today. Then simply email a copy of your receipt to rachelmacystafford@gmail.com. Once we receive your email, we’ll email you back a link to your bonus materials!

olt_lp_aboutRachel Macy Stafford

Rachel Macy Stafford is the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama and Hands Free Life. Rachel is a certified special education teacher who provides readers with practical and motivating methods to let go of worldly distractions so they can live authentic and fulfilling lives. Since starting the blog Hands Free Mama in 2010, Rachel’s work has been featured in USA Today, TIME.com, MSN.com, FoxNews.com, Reader’s Digest, and she has appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, The Today Show, and Global News. Rachel loves being outdoors, baking, volunteering with homeless cats, and visiting nursing home residents. She lives in the South with her husband and two daughters who inspire her daily.

Join the Movement

Share your Only Love Today moments on social with #onlylovetoday.

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Media

For press inquiries regarding Only Love Today, please contact Jessica at westraeventsandmedia@gmail.com.

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My yearly #soulshift retreat is one of those rare My yearly #soulshift retreat is one of those rare occasions in our impersonal, hurried, and distracted lives that we can comfortably, authentically, and supportively connect with people from all walks of life who want to live with more presence, purpose, and joy. 

My retreat offers a natural way to make a new friend (if you want to) or just have personal time and quiet space to get reconnected with yourself and your inner dreamer. Time and time again, I hear this from participants: ‘I was scared to come, but I am so glad I gave myself this gift.’

Please feel free to message me if you have any questions at all about the upcoming retreat at @artoflivingboone in NC. If you feel like you should be there, let’s try to make it happen. 

My hand in yours,

Rachel 

Click link in bio or stories for details & registration. Thank you @amybpaulson for the beautiful photos you took of me at the center the past couple of years.
If we are neglecting our inherent needs, using neg If we are neglecting our inherent needs, using negative self-talk, or ignoring our stress, it is very difficult to connect with our kids and teens to help them cope with their own pressures and challenges.

Ask me how I know, I will tell you the truth — and the truth isn’t pretty — but moments of painful self-awareness can become catalysts for growth.

Like this self-realization:

“Helping my 14-year-old daughter overcome this traumatic event mustn’t be my life’s purpose. I need to invest in things that will help ME be a healthy companion for HER on HER healing journey.”

What I discovered was that even brief, imperfect attempts at being kind and loving towards myself made a significant impact during that trying period in my family’s life. Because here’s the thing: When we are kind to ourselves, we create a space that is free of judgment—a place that honors our pain and sees our mistakes as stepping stones.

My friends, our stumbles as we raise our kids and teens don’t call for shame or giving up; they call for compassion and honesty. And by being open about our humanness, we become a trustworthy and relatable guide for them to turn to as they navigate adolescence.

📣 Hear me when I say: Humanness is not a weakness in our relationships; it’s a strength. It’s a point of connection.

-Rachel Macy Stafford, New York Times best-selling author & certified special education teacher

***

🎟️ What I shared above is a tiny glimpse of what I will be presenting at The Everything Parenting Teens & Tweens Virtual Summit.

Breaking down the practice of “Looking After Yourself” is something I wish I could share with every human being I encounter. Thanks to the hard work of Sheryl Gould of @momsoftweensandteens , I get to offer what I’ve learned in this FREE online series that has an incredible lineup of parenting educators.

The event kicks off on October 2nd with succinct & enlightening presentations specifically geared towards parents and caregivers of tweens and teens.

Secure your free ticket by clicking the link in my bio or stories!
I know someone going through a hard time. He’s I know someone going through a hard time.

He’s irritable and difficult to be around. 
That’s grief talking, I remind myself,
And my love expands like an umbrella in a downpour.

I know someone going through a hard time.

She’s moody and dramatic.
That’s teen angst talking, I remind myself,
And my love settles and steadies like a familiar song.

I know someone going through a hard time.

She’s anxious and uptight.
That’s fear talking, I remind myself,
And my love whispers to her like a calming prayer.

I know someone going through a hard time.

He’s grumpy and forgetful.
That’s growing old talking, I remind myself,
And my love supports him like a great oak tree.

I know someone going through a hard time.

He’s defensive and withdrawn.
That’s depression talking, I remind myself. 
And my love breaks through the clouds and warms his face.

It’s not easy to respond when I want to retreat,
To bite my tongue when I want to bite back
To empathize when I want to implode.

But when you’re going through a hard time, you feel shaky— 
like you’re suspended in a place you don’t want to be.

That’s why the steady hand of love is especially helpful during these times.

I know because that was me in March of 2017,
Suspended in darkness.
I was anxious, overreactive, defensive and moody.
But I was never alone.
Thank God, I was never alone. 
Being unalone is what helped me hold on.

So, when I see my loved ones going through a hard time,
I do the one thing I know helps:
I throw my weight behind them.
With feet firmly planted, I reach out my hand.

“We’ll get through this,” I remind them, as I remind myself.

Because it’s easy to forget hard times are temporary and our failings don’t define us.

If we can just hang on to the steady hand of love, we'll find our footing once again.

-Rachel Macy Stafford

✍️ Sometimes my own words come back to help me. Tonight it was page 208 in #livelovenow. With my chipped red polish I painted in honor of my friend Betsy, it’s open to you too.
Thank goodness for friends like Carrie who keep tr Thank goodness for friends like Carrie who keep track of life. She sent me a text this morning that left me (nearly) speechless, the same way Avery did when she coined the term “keeping track of life” at age six.

Avery had been sick, and we were up at all hours of the night. She’d asked me a tough question about how long her grandparents would live. When I fumbled to answer, I miscalculated my mom’s age. Of course, this observant child noticed.

“No, Mama. Grandma is seventy-three, not seventy-four,” she corrected.

And that’s when it happened: The moment I knew the book Hands Free Life must be written.
 
Illuminated by a crack of white light streaming from her bedroom closet, I saw Avery lift her hands in front of her face. Like the wings of a bird about to take flight, she spread her small fingers as far as they could go. This child with sweat fringed hair and flushed cheeks soberly stated, “I’m keeping track of life.”
 
I actually stopped breathing for a moment. 
 
Keeping track of life.
 
It was such a beautiful term that became almost magical given the way Avery extended her two free hands.
 
Suddenly there was a name for what I’d been doing right before my child’s eyes opened…

when I studied her face with the same intensity I would study for a final exam …

when I relinquished control to time and schedule, not thinking ahead to the next moment …

when I released the need to “fix” her pain and allowed myself to simply be there for her …

when I gave up hope for a full night’s sleep …

when I strived to memorize her child-like voice knowing it would deepen and grow.

In that sacred moment, I was keeping track of life—not letting it slip carelessly away only to later realize I accomplished much but lived little.

(p. 12 #HandsFreeLife)

***

📚 I am so grateful for those who purchased this book 8 years ago, which then led publishers to want to publish #onlylovetoday in 2017 and then several subsequent books. The books I write allow me to fulfill my purpose and provide for my family.
Fluffer & Nutter were the 2 Mourning Dove fledglin Fluffer & Nutter were the 2 Mourning Dove fledglings who recently left the nest. The smaller of the two, Nutter, left the nest 2 days after her brother but stayed on the ground near the bushes next to the porch.

Not for one day…
Not for two days…
Not for three days…
Four days… for four days that plump, gray fledging stayed mostly grounded. She enjoyed trotting around the bushes and taking occasional short bursts of flight into the branches of a small pine.

Yes, I was worried… well, actually, I was obsessed.

‘Something is wrong with her.’
‘Why won’t she leave? Have I been too nice?’
‘Maybe I should call the Bird Rescuers.’

But I learned from raising my human “baby birds” that it is a disservice to them to rush in and fix, control, dictate, or push my agenda; my job is the support THEIR process.

So, I spent a lot of time out there with Nutter, the Ground-Happy Bird. She’d let me get so close that I could have picked her up. (Don’t worry, I refrained myself.) Judging by the way she fluffed her feathers, I think she really liked it when I said this:

“You are your own bird, and you are learning to trust your wings. I am not here to compare you to other birds; I am here to COMMEND you for being true to yourself.”

On the fifth morning, to my dismay, she was still in the same area. I decided it was time to call in the Bird Rescuers. But by the time I came back with my phone in hand, Nutter was gone. I must have checked a million times that day and the next and the next. To my delight, she’d decided it was her time to fly!

Watching these baby birds has provided a lot of lessons — but I think Nutter’s might be the most relevant to so many of us right now. If I had to put it into human terms, it would go like this:

“Today I will not push the process. I am becoming. The person I love is becoming. We are becoming.

It may feel like others are passing us by or reaching higher heights, but I am my own person. My loved one is their own person.

We are developing into who we’re meant to become. And such a miraculous process takes time.

Let's keep trusting that our internal navigation system will know when it is time to fly.” RMS 🪺
16 days ago, I got some news that qualifies as a “stressful event,” one that I will be navigating for an undetermined amount of time. This was on top of a professional commitment that required intense energy and sustained focus for two solid weeks.

I remember thinking, “This is the kind of stuff that makes you turn on yourself. Get your supports in place. Talk to your trusted people. Keep up your care routine. You can handle this difficult period without hurting yourself.”

And I did… for ten straight days I responded to stress in healthy and self-compassionate ways.

And then… I stopped. And after two days of unhealthy coping mechanisms & self-sabotage, an alarm sounded.

I drove to the place where I like to walk, but I did not get out of the car. I listened to this song and released everything I was holding through my tears:

“You are enough 
I am enough 
Breathe in the love 
We are enough.” 
-The Many

The song was sent to me one week ago from Lenora Rand, a member of a band called The Many. Lenora explained that we have a mutual friend and that mutual friend thought I would like this song. 

Thank you, mutual friend.

Thank you, The Many.

4 days ago, the bridge of this song served as my personal bridge from despair to hope…

“No matter what you feel right now, 
No matter what you’ve heard, 
Love has the final word.”
 
I’d like to think this song is for me, but I am not naive; I know I am just one of The Many for whom this song was written.

It feels pretty special to get to introduce it to you today.

Please do yourself a favor: Go to a quiet spot and listen on repeat.

Let the chorus sink in and get stuck in your head. 

Maybe in time, you and I will even start to believe the truth of those words.

© Rachel Macy Stafford 2023

‘We Are Enough’ is available on all music streaming platforms (Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, Pandora, Amazon Music, etc). @themanyarehere
I recently witnessed an argument between two peopl I recently witnessed an argument between two people who love each other.

When one member of the disagreeing party left visibly upset, the person who remained looked at me as if to say, ‘Can you believe that reaction?’

I had a few options. I could try to explain why the other person had such an emotionally charged reaction or I could offer a direct statement. And if the person really wanted to understand and repair this painful disconnect, this truth would be a starting point.

I chose the direct statement:

“People just want to be heard.”

It’s as simple and complex as that.

If you don’t feel heard…

like your feelings are not valid
like your opinion is dumb
like your needs are secondary,
there’s going to be pain in the conversation.

there’s going to be an increase in volume

there’s going to be emotion displayed

Instead of saying to that person, “Geez, calm down!” maybe try saying, “I sense this is really important to you, and I really want to understand what you are saying to me.”

Then listen. You don’t have to agree… that’s not what people are asking. They are simply asking to be respected as an authority of THEIR feelings and THEIR needs.

Once I understood this, a whole world opened up—

a world where I didn’t have to know what was best for someone else…
a world where people I loved could learn to trust themselves…
a world where I gained knowledge and empathy by hearing experiences I hadn’t lived.

This is why I love to hear people’s stories. From my kitchen counter to cab rides to retreat center studios, I covet people’s stories.

Sometimes it’s just giving them a long pause; sometimes it’s giving them the floor.

Every time I do, I witness the healing power of someone knowing their story matters.

People just want to be heard.

RMS💗
To the nurturer tired of holding up the world… To the nurturer tired of holding up the world…

To the dreamer done with setting your passion on a shelf…

To the deep feeler overcome with compassion fatigue…

 To the warrior continually losing to the bully in their head…
 .
To the hope grasper who has lost their grip…

To the peacemaker tired of keeping the peace that’s never theirs to have…

Dear one, do you know that you are worthy?

Worthy of protecting your peace
 
Worthy of reclaiming your joy
 
Worthy of fulfilling your inherent needs and outlandish dreams

Worthy of experiencing the love you so generously give.

Even if you’ve never done this before…

Even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else…

Even if it feels highly uncomfortable to advocate for yourself…

You are worthy of experiencing Autumn joy just as much as the people for whom you create it.

I'm inviting you to experience this reclamation for yourself.

And with my hand in yours, it's not a journey you have to take by yourself.

If you're with me, you're not alone.

Rachel

🍂 This is the FINAL CALL to join #soulshift, my supportive online series that begins on Monday. During the 8-week journey, we will recover the seeds of our discarded dreams and abandoned needs. We will walk side by side as we plant those seeds, nurture them, and let them grow towards the sky, showing us what still can be. 

Registration closes in just a few hours. Link to join in bio and stories. I appreciate your support and presence.
What if the reason you give unconditional love is What if the reason you give unconditional love is because the love you received came with expectations and limits?

What if the reason you clearly and compassionately communicate is because you know the pain and confusion of being shut out, cut down, or misunderstood?

What if the reason you don’t make promises you can’t keep is because the letdown still stings?

What if the reason you show up for your loved ones is because you longed for someone you could count on?

What if the reason you are generous with acceptance is because you felt like you were never enough?

What if the reason you are so determined to do things differently is because you know it can be?

The deficits in the way you were loved growing up have the potential to become your greatest strengths today.

-Rachel Macy Stafford #soulshift

⭐️ The date of Monday, September 18 has been starred and circled on my calendar for many months. It is the day that another transformational round of #soulshift begins. I’ve led this online course eight times, and just like those who participated with me, there were life-changing discoveries and healing shifts made every time.

My friends, today is the FINAL day to sign up for this supportive, self-paced journey. Even if you just adopt one of the eight connective practices I teach over the next 2 months, you will notice a positive difference in the atmosphere of your home, in your relationships, and in your personal wellbeing. You also have lifetime access to the course content and can refer to it whenever needed. There is no right or wrong way to do the SOUL SHIFT journey – you just need a willing heart.

Registration closes TODAY at 8pm. Please join me if your heart is saying YES! Link in bio and in stories.
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Copyright © 2023 · Hands Free Mama by Blogger Boutique · Header photos by Amy Paulson