Three years ago I was in what I considered the best years of my life. A solid marriage to my college love, two beautiful, content young daughters–a work-at-home mom who beautifully juggled family responsibilities with volunteer activities for my church, community, and my daughters’ schools. I was constantly asked, “How do you do it? How do it all?” It was definitely a compliment in today’s productivity equals success, pressure-filled world. Yet, something began to gnaw at me. I was busier than I had ever been, but was I happy? Wasn’t I supposed to be enjoying this time with my children?
This increasingly uncomfortable feeling led me to think hard about the question that had once given me a tremendous source of pride. “How DO I do it all?” It was difficult to acknowledge the heartbreaking answer that I could no longer ignore in my head, let alone commit to paper. Well, I miss out. And it got worse. I miss out on life. And since I was being totally honest with myself, I acknowledged the cold hard truth: I miss out on what REALLY matters in life. And here is the part that caused teardrops to dampen the front of my shirt just like it does in a rainstorm: What I miss, I won’t ever get back. How’s that for a wake up call?
From that breakthrough, breakdown moment, I began seeing my phone in a new light. I saw laundry, dishes, the constant need to keep things perfectly organized in a whole new way. I began seeing requests to serve on committees and chair events with brand new eyes. I realized that the ability to respond within seconds to an email message and multi-task three things at once was maybe not such a great thing after all. Finally after years and years of over-commitment and meaningless information overload, I began to see those things for what they were: Daily Distractions. And with much regret, I realized I’d been holding on to “distractions” tighter than I had been to my own family, my own health, my own happiness–my own “things that matter.”
Tragically, my children had gone right along with my overscheduled, distracted life–not knowing they were missing the heart, the focus, and the company of their mom. They had no idea they were being given the leftovers, the worthless scraps of their stretched-too-thin mother.
But it didn’t have to be this way. Hence, the power of living “Hands Free.”
In the same vein as a distracted driver uses hands free equipment to maintain focus on driving, I decided to go “Hands Free” on life. For the past two years, I have practiced in some way, every single day, to let go of “daily distraction” and place my focus on someone or something meaningful. The results have been profound. In fact, for the first time in my life, I don’t feel like I am constantly trying to catch up. I don’t feel anxious or stressed. I am more patient, more spontaneous, and more connected with my family than I have ever been. I am witnessing and experiencing the simple, joyful things around me that I was too distracted to notice before. I am now free to grasp what really matters. And because this experience has been too good not to share, I am sharing my journey as a Hands Free Mama with you. Notice I say journey. A compulsive Type A, massive to-do list writin’ planner extraordinaire does not change overnight. I still have some “letting go” to do. But I am trying, and that counts for something. In fact, I would say that counts for something that matters.
This blog is for anyone who wants to re-think how he or she is living (or not living) life. It’s for anyone who wants to let go of daily distraction and perfection to embrace what really matters.
I hope you will join me as I capture my journey as a Hands Free Mama in photos and words. Come on … take my hand. After being tied up for so long, it’s finally free.
Tears are falling. I see myself in every single sentence. And I am LOVING your use of the phrase “hands free”. I woke up today so “ugh” about the dirty floors and laundry. I WANT to work with my children on homework and do it mindfully and purposefully (less distracted). I let go of the dishes and did it…it was totally freeing, as you said.
I’m off to sew. I’m off to sew for MYSELF. And for others. The floors can wait. I need to shuffle the list too. WRITE RACHEL! WRITE AWAY! These words just changed my day for the better!
Indiana Lori
Thank you, Lori! I am so thankful to know this topic is relevant in your life, as well. I am encouraged by your response and feel that together we can start a Hands Free Revolution! And don’t worry, I will keep on writing. In fact, I can’t seem to stop now that I have started. This Hands Free thing is addicting!
Rachel,
First of all, you have such an amazing gift for writing AND I always thought you were a wonderful mommy, so I will be catching each writing you are willing to share!! But already, from the few minutes I’ve had to explore your site, I have thought differently with the kids this afternoon. Thank you for that. In your thoughtfull nature, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the last line on this page saying “Come on….take my hand. After being tied up for so long, it’s finally free.” It made me lol, just because in that one sentence it describes it all! You have a cold Wisconsinite follower!
Thank you, Andrea! I take this as a major compliment coming from someone who is as Hands Free as they come. Ever since that day I met you in action at the park, I have always admired your presence and focus on the things that really matter in life! Thanks for being a follower! I am so blessed!
Good stuff. Remember when we all survived just fine without every 8 year old having a cell phone. I seemed to make it home for dinner most nights and don’t recall anything that I “missed” while I was focused on wiffleball. Life was slower then, but I’m sure our parents felt it was fast compared to their childhoods. Just last night, Eli asked Poppy, if they had color computers when he was a kid. Quite precious.
Keep it up and thanks for the reminder to slow down and experience life not just watch it wiz by.
Have a Merry Bama Christmas.
Steve.
Just saw your post, Steve, and I can imagine Eli asking that of Poppy. I remember spending allll day at the pool – and riding my bike there, and back. Oh how I miss the slow life.
I to feel the same. i have been battling this demon for quit some time. today it is put into perspective. i thank you for your words and your time that so encouraged me to change my ways. i often feel angry about the issue of not enough time in the day. i would get angry at my husband because he would say just leave it for later.my response would be are there little elves that are coming to do it for me. he would never offer to help instead he was enjoying the moment. i guess hearing you say that i am missing moments that will never be there again really hit hard. i have a 13 year old son that really needs me now through all of his changes, sometimes not to talk from the other room but to just sit and be with him. i also have a soon to be 11 year old that is battling oms. she needs my patients and my kindness, my love , my understanding of what is going on in her world, not just what is left of me. from this point on i dedicate my self to be a hands free mom to the best of my capability. i will try my hardest to let all else go. by the way i am a major perfectionist so this is a very big deal for me. please pray for me!!!!!!
Hi Angela, I thank you for taking the time to share your feelings. I am blown away by how similar our thoughts are about distraction and the need to “get it all done.” It truly is difficult to start letting that go when you have been doing it that way for so long. But I have found that the rewards of stopping to enjoy the moment are so powerful that it has overcome the need to accomplish so much. I look forward to hearing your progress. Thank you for being by my side through this journey! And yes, you can definitely count on my prayers. Thank you!!!!
I have the opposite problem… I have been completely disorganized for nearly my entire 42 years on this planet! The thing is…it has the same effect. It leaves me feeling like there is no time to do what really matters because I’m overwhelmed by everything that I *should* be doing. Recently I created a daily “schedule” (a very fluid schedule but a schedule nonetheless) and, believe it or not, that little bit of organization actually helped me feel more balanced and centered. I feel more relaxed and I’m able to enjoy my 16 month old daughter so much more now…in a house that doesn’t look like it went through a hurricane.
Giving myself some structure has helped me be more present. It allows me to go “Hands Free” so I, too, can enjoy more of the things that matter in life.
That us how I feel many days. I even make lists and try to be organized too! Thanks for this thought…. Being unorganized does have the burden of “all I should be doing”
I just found your blog through Wendy at Wendy Can’t Cook and I am in love with your philosophy. I recently started to release a lot that was on my plate to focus 100% on my family. I am a new subscribe and I cannot wait to read more!
Welcome!!! You don’t know how much it means to hear these words and know you are joining me on your journey. I love Wendy and am so inspired by all the changes she has made in her life to be more Hands Free. Thank you for leaving me this message and letting me know you are here!!!
I strive for this and remind myself and re-remind myself that this is the goal. One of my favorite quotes is “Normal Day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.” It just baffles me that I have to constantly and consciously try to keep it all scaled back. I loved reading your thoughts. It was a needed bit of inspiration. Thank you!
OH MY GOSH, how did i just find you since you are writing about ME?
thank you for the grace that brought me to your page. this is my new life. this is my new year. letting go and letting happen. leaving that blackberry on silent and listening instead to the beauty of my kids.
you will be the ONE blog i remind myself to read now. thank you…from a complete stranger.
xoxo, amy
Amy, your words have come when I most needed to hear them. You have blessed me with your message today, and I am truly grateful you are joining me on this journey! Thank you, complete stranger. I hope to become friends!
Rachel
Wow, it’s like you and I came to the same intersection … this is exactly what I am about, though with a different spin. It’s great to meet you. I will be back!!
I checked out your blog and I am jumping up and down for joy! I LOVE your concept and your delivery. Sometimes you just know when you are meant to intersect with someone … this is one of those moments. Thank you for finding me so I could find you!
I love this. I need these reminders. I’ve subscribed!
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Thank YOU for this blog! I came across it from Awesomely Awake mom’s blog…and I’m glad I did. If you’re 18-months+ into being hands free, I am only just making steps to start it (even though I’ve always known I am on the phone TOO much!!). It’s an addiction really. I am glad to have found a virtual support group to let it go…for my son, and family. Thanks again.
Hi Rachael,
I came across your blog from a Freshly Pressed article on wordpress. Upon reading what your blog is about, and in particular your realization that led to this blog, all I can say is that I know EXACTLY what you mean and how you feel. I am not a mom yet, but I can relate. I do not like the way success is viewed in today’s society because it is a facade for what true success in one’s life really involves. I wish you the best on your journey to be hands free and I will definitely be checking out your blog more often.
I have just discovered your blog through the creative girl blog. I so know what you are talking about. I have started my own blog to capture what we have achieved as a family this year. However I am more aware now that making my busy life work means sometimes although I am home when the boys get in from school (I work term time and school hours -but am not a teacher!) I am often busy on the computer. So from tomorrow I will ensure that when they get in i switch off the tech and concentrate on them. Hopefully I will then notice that they have homework or revision or music practice that needs doing and not get cross that they have sat down in front of the tv for an hour before I realise. Thank you x
Thank you for sharing your experience, Jo! I think awareness is key in letting go of distraction. Once I realized what my distraction was causing me to miss, it changed everything. From that awareness came CHOICE. And I try to choose what matters over distraction. I never regret it when I do. Thank you for taking time to read and comment. I am so glad you found your way through the Creative Girl blog! I love what she is doing over there with her 3-8 media free time! So inspiring.
So glad I found your blog. I have always made an effort to avoid the phone or computer while I am spending time with my children. However, my downfall is that I have committed to so many volunteer activities that I feel pulled in many directions. After reading this today, I have decided to quit one of my commitments so I can have more time to focus on my children. Thank you!
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Thank you! This is exactly what I need to be reminded of today, tomorrow and always! My beautiful daughters deserve a hands free mama.
Oh Melissa, your words are a gift to me. What you have expressed here is EXACTLY why I share my Hands Free journey with the world. Being “Hands Free” has been the most amazing gift to my life and to my children’s lives … there is no way I can keep it to myself. I am grateful to know you are here and have joined me on the journey to grasp what really matters! THANK YOU!!!!
Thank you so much for this beautiful blog!! It is exactly what I needed to read. I struggle so much with trying to do it all and am completely overwhelmed at times just trying to keep up. I feel like I spend so much of my time trying to catch up on other people’s lives that I miss out on living my own. Shame on me! My girls are growing up before my very eyes and I don’t want to miss any more! Thank you for sharing these sweet revelations with us.
I really appreciate the mission of your blog and can relate to it – your transparency is refreshing. Another way not to miss a childhood is to homeschool. I never thought I could do it, but here I am three years later, and now I can’t imagine not doing it! As much as technology can be a distraction from being present with our children, in the bigger picture, the elephant in the room is that parents are separated from their children for half (or more) of their waking hours. Availability and mindfulness are definitely important, but it doesn’t add up to the impact of actual time spent together – people often say it’s quality over quantity, but I say it’s both. And a home education engages the mind, the heart, the soul, and the body. It’s really a wholistic way of parenting and living.
Thank you so much, Literary Mom. I really appreciate you sharing your viewpoint. I enjoy hearing other people’s perspective–especially when it pertains to building closer connections to our children. I look forward to reading more about your experiences and gaining further insight on your blog. Thank you so much for taking time to share.
Wow! This sounds like my life! I would love to take the steps that you have to make some changes in my life. I have 2 daughters and a wonderful husband. I make to-do list all the time, use my phone for everything and ALWAYS multi task. I keep thinking the next year will be calmer, or I will be more efficient. But, I think I found the solution with your blog. I need to stop over committing and put my phone down.
I haven’t blogged much about homeschooling (too busy doing it or “blurbing” it on my Facebook page – ack!) but I hope to – it’s definitely fodder for my writing and I already have insights that I think will be inspiring/helpful to other moms, so Lord willing, this summer, I will make the time to share them. Thanks for your kindness and receptivity.
You are so welcome! Please let me know when you write! I would love to check it out. Thanks again for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your journey. I’ve read several of your posts, and they’ve been very convicting. I don’t have a problem with phone use. I’d rather not be on the phone, although occasionally I have a friend who calls me and needs a listening ear. And I don’t have any of those newer electronic devices. What I do have is the computer. I’ve mentioned to my husband wishing we’d just drop our Internet provider. I know I spend way too much time online. I’ve known that for a long time. And I’ve been wanting to change it. But it hasn’t happened. Not yet. After reading these posts, I decided to ask my oldest how he felt about my time spent online. He said it feels like I’m on the computer about 8 hours a day and there ought to be more to life than that. Ouch. This has got to change.
Thank you for taking time to share, Debbie. I really appreciate your honesty and desire to change. How brave of you to ask your son. Children will tell it like it is and from their brutal honesty, new choices and meaningful change can occur. I hope you will keep me posted on your progress. I am truly grateful you are here.
so I’m reading this, nodding to myself, (yet actually rubbing my 5 year olds back at the same time) is that ok?! haha
actually HAVe to get off as another child AND the dog has joined my little computer chair. Not sighing, just getting back to the important ones.
Thankyou
will be back
Oh yes! Please come back, Widge. So happy to know you found me and the message has touched you. And I am especially glad you chose the important ones. This post will always be here.
Good job…. now don’t spend too much time on the blog!
Thank you for sharing this; it’s a great reminder.
I tried emailing you this, but it came back as undeliverable when I tried to send it to the email you have under your “Contact Me” tab so I will just post it here:
My friend recently sent me a link to your post titled, “The Children Have Spoken”. She sent it to me because of my new found freedom from Facebook. Yes, I broke up with facebook and let me tell you, it wasn’t easy! I was just so tired of needing to know everything about everyone. Isn’t it weird how people offer every piece of themselves up on a silver platter for the world? Once you start getting that kind of information about people, it’s addicting. I hate the way some people use facebook to pit people against each other. Use it to indirectly call people out on their flaws. Use it to fish for compliments and “likes”. Use it to publicly berate their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/
wife. It’s sick. I was tired of the “In a relationship, and it’s complicated” relationship status changes. Really? I want to type out in all caps “YOU MEAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAN/WOMAN YOU HAVE A BABY WITH ISN’T ALL ROSES AND KISSES AND DATES! THAT’S JUST SHOCKING!!!” Facebook is changing people and not for the better. Now even if that person just changed their status because they are a rash person who didn’t think out the repercussions of changing their relationship status to that, they can’t take it back. Their closest friends, their not so closest friends, their family, possibly their co-workers, their mutual friends, and maybe even some people they have never even met before know that they just had a fight with their significant other. Even if they didn’t spill every detail of what happened, it’s out there. They just left the door WIDE open for rumors to fly, and you know they will. I use to be able to ignore that stuff, but I can really feel it changing my mindset about people. I’m a much more cynical person than I was before Facebook. People I once respected and thought highly of suddenly have this “other” side that I can’t wrap my brain around…..It’s weird! We all have our moments and that other side to ourselves, but there are no boundaries anymore. Certain words or actions are only meant for a certain audience depending on a trust/comfort/love level, but with facebook there are no filters I guess. So, in light of all that coupled with the fact that it was eating up my time like you wouldn’t believe, I have deleted my facebook. I work from home, so I can get on FB anytime I’d like. Maybe it wouldn’t of had to come to this if I went to a job where I couldn’t be on it at all. It has been a week since I deleted it. I won’t lie, the first two days, I felt I had made a big mistake. I was actually having withdrawals. BUT On the third day, I knew that my decision was the right one for my family. My 2 year-old learned 8 new words in just that short amount of time, and counted to 12. That was a proud mommy moment and I’m still riding that high!! Wow! I didn’t know my husband and I could get much closer, because we have a great relationship as it is, but in a week I feel so on the same page with him, it’s insane! He told me yesterday, “You are so much more fun without facebook!” I don’t think everyone should go out and delete their facebook, it was just what was right for myself and my family! I’m having full out conversations with people again and actually am having to make an effort at my relationships in my life, it feels like I’m living again! I have found another outlet, blogging, though I’m no good at it. LOL It’s embarrassing to me, but I’m trying it out, mostly for the family that I can’t be “friends” with on facebook anymore. Anyway, I just wanted to share with you how I’m truly chipping away at the distractions in my life, and I love it and I can completely relate. I don’t have a smartphone, so that won’t be a problem! lol By the time I get one of those, I’m fairly certain everyone else will have hover phones….
Thanks for putting it all out there, because some people do need a wake up call, it’s up to them to answer though! You’re doing a good thing here. Sorry for the novel, I just felt compelled to tell you that.
Wow! This blog was forwarded along to me from another mommy and it came RIGHT ON TIME!!! Lately, I have been feeling overly stressed about trying to keep up with everything and from reading your blog, it empowers me to be OK with not sweating the small stuff. It’s much more important to spend time on my children and my family and let everything else become secondary. Thanks for re-enforcing the most important things in life and thank you for this blog. I too am going to make the commitment to being hands-free!
Eversince I came across your blog through a re-post on FB from a JOY fm radio DJ about “how to be a hands free mama” yesterday, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it! I am guilty! Guilty of being attached to my iPhone! I brag about how much I love my phone!
But just this morning, my 6 year old daughter timidly asked me to put her hair in pony tails and I was in the middle of blow drying my hair, getting ready to go to work. As I stopped doing my hair and did her hair, I didn’t realize until later that that was a moment. That I wasn’t truly present in, I was distracted and was just going through the motions.
Then, about a week ago my 15 year old son was doing a timeline project of his life for school and he jokingly asked “Mom, when did Facebook get invented?” I said that I thought it was 2006, but I didn’t start using it until 2009. He jokingly continued and said “cause I can put that is when I lost my mother…” OUCH!!! At that time I brushed that off as not true! But now, my stomach aches at the truth behind that statement. It makes me sad.
I have four kids, ages 15 to 3, work full time, and I am on my phone (escaping) more than I am not. Thank you for sharing your experience and making this mama open her eyes to the life I am missing out on! I started today. I actually went to lunch with my husband and put my phone in my purse and looked my husband in the eye and talked with him!
Hi!
The tears are building up as I am writing this. I am a stay at home mom of 3 wonderful children, and this is a battle I have been fighting since my first was born, 4 years ago. I find myself constantly saying no to my children because I have to clean, or work on the computer. In fact my oldest recently mentioned that I am always cleaning. I brushed it off, but in my heart I know she’s right. I have yet to find the perfect balance of keeping the house together, and enjoying my children’s childhood with them. I pray that this website will help me. I don’t my children to look back and say that what they remember most about their childhood is that their mom was always cleaning. Thank you for this wonderful site.
This is beautiful. As the mom of lots of special needs kiddos, it is a constant struggle to find that delicate balance of being present for the kids, keeping up with the house and day-t0-day “stuff,” nurturing my marriage, and finding a bit of time for me! I have found that all too often the computer or phone gets in the way of the balance far more than it ever should. Your blog is just wonderful and was a good wake-up call for me today– thank you!!
This list-making compulsive-workin’ constantly busy mama is hearing exactly what I need to hear today. My children thank you for it.
This is amazing…I needed to read this…I cannot wait to read your work and learn with and from
You…God has blessed you with a special gift to help us all….I believe life is truly a journey and this is something that seems hard to balance and you’ve got me
Really thinking now…your guidance will
Make a difference.
Thank you so
Much!!!
Thank you for committing to this mission. I have been a workaholic for 10+ years. I now have a 6 year old daughter and 7 month old twins. I’m winding down my career with one final project and will be resigning in July. When I am clear minded, I am thrilled that I will be able to simply be Mom. On other days, I have a lack of faith and wonder if I shouldn’t network for the next project. God has been so faithful to place daily reminders about the true desires of my heart. Today, you have been that reminder. I need to be hands free- letting go- leaving my hands open to squeeze my kiddos and accept the better life that God intends for all of us.
Recently, I heard someone say, Multitasking is not necessarily a good thing. Many things get done; nothing is done really well. We need to take time to just sit and think.
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I have three children, the oldest just graduated from highschool and the youngest will begin 5th grade in the fall. I few years back I had the same revelation when I began to wonder what my children’s memories of their childhood and of me would be…would they say “my mom was always stressed out about the house, my mom was always cleaning, my mom was always at a meeting, my mom was always on the phone, or my mom always made sure we had something to do, but never did anything with us..” Instead, what I want their memories to be include, “my mom used to laugh with us so hard she cried, my mom would make chore time fun, my mom colored and painted and did fun crafts with us, my mom was always there to really listen to me. I always felt like I was my mom’s top priority. I was proud of the way my mom was able to balance volunteering/career and our family. I want to be just like my mom…”
Whenever I think of these things it really helps me to make choices to be hands free and hands on. And the little old ladies are so wise about them being gone too quickly…my son leaves for college next month.
Thank is just beautiful, Karen. What a powerful way to help keep “what matters” into perspective! I appreciate you taking a moment to share your insight.
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I can’t stop reading your blogs…They are amazing. THANK YOU!!!
Thank you, Sandi! How kind of you to say! I am grateful you are here.
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Love that you are guiding so many to “living in the present” – one of my favorite books is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. There is nothing better we can do for our children than be in the present with them.
Thanks for using your time so wisely.
Thank you for the lovely feedback, Peg. “The Power of Now” is also one of my favorite books! I really appreciate you taking a moment to let me know you are here.
This is extraordinarily life changing in todays world…. sad that the simple things in life such a giggle or a smile arent at the fore front for all (me included)… time to change…
Dear Rachel,
You are such a gifted writer…and truly inspirational! A colleague posted your story about the boy you ran (and ran and ran) after as a teacher. I read this last night and the timing was so perfect – after a week of bursting into tears several times when faced with the challenges of working in Special Education, it was exactly the bit of hope and the different perspective that I needed. I feel like spending my weekend reading through your archives…in fact I might just do that! Your writing is just beautiful and leaves me in tears – in a much happier way!
What you are doing is wonderful…THANK YOU and BLESS YOU!!!
I have been aware of this need to go ‘hands free’ in my life for perhaps a couple of years. At the moment I just feel truly exhausted and know I need to make some changes. Reading your blog right now – what fortunate timing!! I think I will in fact give myself permission to leave the mountains of paperwork that never seem to get finished and go home….and rest….and then think about how I really want to be spending time on a studio space I have. It’s called Blossom Art Space and it’s tucked away in a beautiful regional area of South Australia…. My plans for this space keeps getting put on the back-burner due to ‘no time’ I would like to be offering this space to others to be creative, to slow down, to connect with each other and themselves. I think the change needed for me to kick-start my studio space is MORE HANDS-FREE TIME! I have a three-day weekend ahead of me and your writing is the catalyst I very much needed to do something differently – starting NOW!! I will most definitely be spreading your hands-free revolution with others. Thank you so much once again, All the Best, Sascha XO
What a gift you have given me, Sascha! To know Kyle’s story touched the life of a fellow special education teacher and provided you with a ray of light means a great deal to me. I believe special education teachers are true angels. I am certain you have your own inspiring stories of the power of presence, whether you realize it or not.
To know you would like to read my archives is also a gift. I am currently writing my “Hands Free” book which contains some of my older posts and new stories, as well. It is times like these that I wish it were complete and I could send you a copy immediately! It was my dream to provide a step by step guide for those wanting to transform a distracted life into one of meaningful connection and joy. You have fueled my writing, and I know I will knock out a good portion of it today!
I am thrilled to hear your plans. It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do to become Hands Free and live the life you imagine. I truly hope you don’t put off this beautiful life ONE MORE DAY. The plans for your studio space sounds lovely. As a former special ed teacher, I know you need to step back and take time to decompress from the stresses of your job. Your creative space sounds like just the place. Please keep me posted! I am so touched by this message today and will be sending many positive thoughts to you, my friend. So happy to have you along on this journey!
Rachel
Rachel, your writing always makes me cry…
I have a facebook page for Blossom if you would like to see photos – it does need to be updated & I will do this in the upcoming school holidays – one week away. Once again, I can’t thank you enough for your words of inspiration – for people like me they can transform a sense of being quite alone in a personal journey – into believing again in something very close to my heart xx
I missed this reply of yours earlier…thank you so much. It is words like yours that are the little bit of encouragement that I need to not give up on dreams that seem so worthwhile but very challenging to make them real. A friend through facebook (I only know her through my local community/facebook) only last night enquired about whether my art classes were running yet at my studio. She has a daughter who is adopted and suffers from high levels of anxiety, trauma and loss but loves art and craft. At first I replied that my classes are not running yet and told her about a nearby studio…but then my heart just went ‘Wait! I have to do something!’ I will keep you posted about Blossom Art Space
Oh Sascha! Blossom Art Space!!! What a beautiful name for your classes/studio. I cannot WAIT to go like it on FB. You know I will be cheering you on every step of the way. I can just feel it–some REALLY beautiful things are going to happen .. have ALREADY happened … because of your “letting go to live” journey. You are SO not alone, my friend. Thank you for coming back to tell me!!!!
It was refreshing to read something that was actually well written.
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Hi
this is so inspiring worldwide,
i am a feminist activist mom of 4 and i often fall into the distraction routine, this came just in time for me to reconsider my daily tasks and slowly one day at a time free my time for more important things…And this gave me more incentive to reactivate my blog.
thank you and great initiative,
Lara
Yerevan, Armenia
Wow! Lara, thank you for letting me know. This seems amazing to me — here you are sending me this beautiful message of love and encouragement from Armenia. I am so grateful to know you are here, joining me on this life-changing, letting go journey! Welcome, friend! And let me know if you get your blog up and running. I would love to visit!
As Mom to a 1 pound preemie I soaked in every word. Bless you.
I’ve been following you on Facebook for a while but hadn’t really thought about what “Hands Free” meant. We are parents to a 9 month old (today!) and have been struggling with this, too many distractions, too many “should-do’s”, cell phone, etc. I followed a link on Facebook this morning and started reading and am trying not to cry here at work! So thank you for this blog. I will be reading more. xoxo
Welcome, Jen. I am grateful you clicked on my site today and took a moment to read. I am honored to have you join me on this life-changing journey. Thank you for being here.
The director of my son’s preschool mentioned your blog in her monthly newsletter and I’m glad she did. I, like you; have a type A personality and I do find that I am frequently distracted by my “to-do” list. Your blog is a quiet reminder for me to focus what’s most important in my life; not my laundry or the dirty dishes, but my two young children! THANK YOU!
Absolutely amazing. Just found your site. What you say and the journey you are on so resonates with my own — being a mindful mama to two little ones, being about delight and compassion and community in our everyday lives. Yes, it is a JOURNEY — I sure haven’t “arrived” but I am present and loving the tiniest of moments in my life as best and imperfectly as a mama can. Many blessings to you, Lisa
Oh Lisa, what a great comfort it is to me to know you are out there! I just love that we connected today via your “presence” post. It is so wonderful to know you are imperfectly striving to grasp the precious moments in life, too. So glad we can make our way on this journey together. Thank you for taking the time to visit, read, and write such a lovely comment!
Wow! Your site and facebook profile were just shared with my by a friend, and I have to say that it came at the right time! There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’ve created a business about peace, love and laughter, but can’t find the time to do any of the 3 with your family and friends. I look forward to following you on your journey and being inspired to live hands free! Thank you for your light!
WELCOME and thank you, Kyla! You are in good company here. Here it’s about supporting one another in a rushed, distracted, pressure-filled world — not expecting anyone to be perfect — just striving to grasp as many precious moments as we can. I look forward to checking out your site — it sounds beautiful!
I am speechless. I found myself in a very dark and deep pit and the end of this year. And I had no idea I was not alone. Thank you so much for this. I feel like I can get out of that pit and put my girls before my to do lists. Maybe I just needed the permission. A huge weight has been lifted. I am totally ruled my list of things to do. And I am constantly told, “You do so much!” And yes I always thought that was compliment too. But wow when I read what that awakened in you, it was like being hit over the head with a two by four. That’s exactly it. I miss out. I. Miss. Out. It’s not too late. Starting now I will being my journey of being hands free.
And I have this feeling that when I let go, the priorities that really matter will rise to the top. Thank you.
This is really amazing and touching to know that our paths have crossed and that you find hope in my words. This is exactly why I want to share my journey — so that people like you know there is HOPE … that there is a better way to live. I get chills when I read your words: “It is not too late. Starting now I will begin my journey of being Hands Free.” The day I said those words to myself, my life changed. I am never going back to the way it was, and I know you will find meaningful and fulfillment, too. I am grateful you have joined me! Please keep me posted on your progress. I see a beautiful future ahead!
I’m not alone! Thank you so much for sharing. I have been moving in this direction, and your blog confirms that I’m doing the right thing. My beautiful five month old baby girl deserves my full attention. Instead of logging onto facebook, I read to her, I play in the floor with her, we snuggle and watch movies, enjoy baby talk and much more. I’ve even been able to catch up on her baby book! Making memories, recording them and enjoying life. Best wishes to everyone!
Oh my gosh! You are writing my life!!! My son recently turned 4 and I was looking back at pictures and realized that I had missed so much of those first years because I was worried, stressed, anxious, nervous, etc. He missed out on so much of me, of my heart, of my love, of having just plain calm around him. Please know you are not alone in your journey – I am right here with you because I share the same struggles. Please know that you have already enriched my life and I have only read 3 posts. Please don’t stop writing !!!
YAY! How wonderful to know you are here! Thank you for sharing your heart with me today. Love to walk this road with you.
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Well this is AWESOME, and beautiful, and I love it. Your description of your life in this post reminds me so much not of myself, but of my mother. She has always crammed in and tried to juggle FAR too much. She still does. Although, we certainly all can let the distractions, and worries, of daily life steal our joy sometimes, if we’re not conscious of those things. I’ve been enjoying reading your blogs today, thanks to a share from Janet Lansbury, on Facebook.
Thank you so much for coming here to read and sharing your thoughts! I am a huge fan of Janet Lansbury, so thank you for telling me. I am honored!
I love this new attitude- and am making a promise to myself that I will adopt a similar one. We only get to have our children for such a short period of time- why do we waste it? Nothing is more important than them- that’s why we had kids in the first place. Thank you for this wake up call!
So great– I have just “found you” recently, and I love your heartfelt voice. Thank you!
I am so glad you are here, Grace! WELCOME!
Thank you, your site made me cry, it is what I have been searching for. I like your writing and want to say thank you for sharing your thoughts with other mamas out there.
This has been very powerful! Thank you so much! I have been thinking lately about how ‘addicted’ I am to my phone and considered getting rid of my smart phone all together. I am starting right now being hands free!!
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I just found your blog, and I want to say thank you! It’s as if you are pulling the thoughts out of my brain and putting them down on paper. I determined to make 2013 my own year to become more connected with life and the people and things that really matter to me, so to have your blog as part of that, knowing that the journey is possible and rewarding and that I’m not alone, is wonderful.
Very interesing and thought provoking indeed. Lent is coming up, and although I’m 36, I still give something up each year as if I were back in Catholic School. This year I am going to give up Facebook. I am an avid “Facebooker” but have noticed many negative posts, friends arguing back and forth, and the best one – friends not bothering to connect in real life, but if you delete them from your page they explode with rage! I hope by deactivating my account for 6 weeks, I can spend more time living in the “Three dimensional universe” and enjoy the little things I know are floating past me each day as I check my newsfeed….like watching my baby as she takes a bottle…Thank you for the blog.
I’ve recently come across your blog and have found myself nodding along to so many things that you say. In fact, I wrote my 3 kids love notes during my lunch break at work today. Can’t wait to read it to them tonight! But before I get too deep in the blog, I just have to ask you: Do you think that a Hands Free Life can still work with a rewarding career? I have a career I really enjoy (though not as much as my family!) and frankly don’t have the option not to work even if I did want to stay home. There must be a way to have both – be present and connected when you are with your children but also be present and connected when you are at work. Isn’t there??
Hi Rinna, first of all WELCOME! And second of all, yes! I am continually amazed at the differing backgrounds of the people who have made living “Hands Free” the practice of their life. Living HF is for anyone who wants to put healthy boundaries between technology and life. It’s for anyone who wants to reject unrealistic societal pressures to be perfect. It’s for anyone who wants to create their own standards of “success.” And finally, living HF is for anyone who wants to grasp the moments that matter with the people who matter most.
Here are some posts that might answer your question better than I can here …
What a Hands Free Summer Looks Like (this post has been viewed 500,000 times …. it speaks to people from all different occupations and backgrounds) http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/16/what-a-hands-free-summer-looks-like/
The Year of Ordinary Achievement: http://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/01/02/a-year-of-ordinary-achievement/
So glad you are here, Rinna!
These words could not have come at a better time for me. As a new mom, in a new career, moving cross country, pursuing a masters degree, and trying to handle everything around the house for her hubby.. to-do lists and organization have become a pin point for my daily life. I used to be “hands-free”. When I was young and vulnerable. Even though I am still young that feeling became scary because I was afraid of missing something. I was afraid of not doing enough. Not being enough. I look forward to reading more of your posts and getting back in touch with that part of me that has become so distant.
Thank you.
Precisely how I feel too. It’s amazing how we all walk through this life feeling the same things, yet many of us feel like we’re the only ones who are dealing with these issues UNTIL we’re lucky enough to stumble onto a blog like this & realize we are so not alone. I also used to be pretty hands free. Now? Not so much. I’m glad others are on this journey with me.
Oh yes! Sharing my struggles and joy with others has been the most helpful part of this Hands Free journey. It’s comforting to know we are not alone! Thank you for being here, Mel!
Thanks for putting these ideas out where they can have an effect on complete strangers for years to come…
I feel like I could have written this. I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to why I feel stressed and anxious all the time, and came to the conclusion that it’s because I spend too much time on my devices and to do lists and not enough on the things that truly matter. Beautiful, and beautifully mundane, moments are passing me by. Then I found your blog and said – ah ha! Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Welcome, Carol! I am grateful to know my experience resonated with you. There is hope! Two and a half years of striving for a “Hands Free” life has made an incredible difference in my relationships and my personal well-being. I know there is hope for you, too. Please come here for encouragement any time. I am happy to answer questions and encourage you in any way. Thanks for letting me know you are here!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For writing this blog. I just found you a few weeks ago & I love every word. You have an amazing gift for putting everything into words. I also found The Orange Rhino blog the same week I found yours & as my mom would say, “That was a God thing”. He knows me thoroughly that’s for sure because He led me very “accidentally” (from my perspective) to both your blogs just when I needed them most. I can’t wait to be able to sit down & start reading through from the beginning.
Hi Mel, I am so thankful you are here! I adore The Orange Rhino! I love her honest, real wisdom and inspiration! Thanks for leaving such a lovely comment and joining me on this journey!
Thank you for capturing everything I have been feeling into words I can not find. I am inspired and grateful! It’s nice to know I am not alone too! I am joining the “hands free” movement!
Welcome, Sheena! I am grateful to know you have joined me (and so many others) in a pursuit to let go of distraction and grasp the moments in life that matter!