Rachel Macy Stafford, Author of Hands Free Mama
Hello. I’m Rachel. To know me is to know my personal list of what really matters…
*My daughters matter. My oldest daughter is 9. Her face is perfection; I could stare at it for hours. I love the way her eyes move to the side when we are talking in her bed at night, and she is thinking deeply and compassionately, the way that only she does. My youngest daughter is 6. Her smile covers her entire face and is a pure reflection of what lies within her heart. She is my living reminder that being joyful is a choice.
*My husband matters. He provides me with the grace and love that I freely give others, but often neglect to give myself. His love constantly reminds me of the beauty inside me. I am certain that his love has added an extra ten years to my life.
*Writing matters. My second grade teacher, Ms. Paluska, led me into the world of writing and it has been home to me ever since. Writing for others is my joy. My favorite gift to give someone is a note or a poem that highlights the best qualities about that person. I am humbled (and touched) when someone tells me they have saved every note that I have ever written them.
*Teaching matters. Before I was a mom, I was a teacher to special education students. I can still remember all their names and wish I could see how each one turned out. I love sharing information in creative and inspiring ways to those who want to receive it.
*Encouraging others matters, probably because so many people have encouraged me in my life. I remember the name of every person who encouraged me to publish my works so that as many people as possible could read my words.
*Recognizing angels matters. I strive to notice the angels that come into my life when I need them, and then later telling them about it. Every single day, I want to be somebody’s angel.
*Faith matters. I have faith that there is plan for my life. In this case, I believe that God chose me to have a revelation about how I want to spend my days here on this earth. And it is because of my faith that I understand why God chose me. I was chosen to tell this story because of what really matters to me. Being a mother, a wife, a writer, a teacher, and an encourager has prepared me to show others how to let go of their own daily distractions and grasp what really matters. Maybe through this blog, I can even become somebody’s angel.
Which brings me to my last and most recent item that really matters to me…
*Being Hands Free matters. Before, I was holding on to the wrong things and missing out on life. Finally, I am holding on to what matters, and it has given my life new meaning. Come on and join me; grasp what really matters to you and then start living.
Rachel,I hope I have the honor of being your first comment! I just ran and climbed in the bed with Gibs and rubbed her back. I love your new “venture” and I know it will be a blessing to you and MANY others. So proud you are my friend!!!
I think you see it, Rachel. You got it, you got it right! You are on your way! God Love ya!
Great concept, great way to share and impact. Thanks, Rachel! Glad to know you and get this insight!!
Thank you for your support, Holly! It means more than you know!
Amazing Rach!! So proud to call you my friend. Thank you, thank you for the reminder to slow down and be present with our loved ones! My floor needs a cleaning and clothes need to be folded…baby is napping so I should use this time to work – right? Nah…Michigan has blessed us with two back-to-back snow days so I think I will head out and build a snowman with the boys.
I read every page and entry of your blog. Many of the entries brought tears to my eyes. Keep ‘em coming! Two of your greatest gifts have always been your insight and your ability to identify emotions and turn them into words. Bravo! XO
Thank you, my friend! You go build that snowman and then tell me something amazing that happened, because I know it will. You words encourage me to continue on this path to a better way to live!
Rachel…You are amazing and wonderful! Thanks so much for your insight as well as the strength and creativity to share it with others! You are truly an angel and bless the lives of many…I am honored to know you and have you as a friend! You go woman! This made my day! I am so ready to be Hands Free!
Love and Blessings!
Karen, I have seen you with your daughter and you have been a Hands Free Mama since the day she was born. Thank you for encouraging me, Karen. I know I could learn from you, as well.
Thumbs up to you, Rachel, for spreading happiness and gratefulness!
It has taken me 50 + years to learn these lessons. It is so refreshing to see a woman your age learn them so early. You are very special and I am very proud to be your friend.
You go girl !!
Love ya and miss seeing you everyday.
Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, Deb. Whenever I see those pictures of you and your beautiful grandkids doing something special together, I think to myself, “Now that is a Hands Free Grandma, if I have ever seen one!” And I can always tell by their happy faces that the time and attention you give them truly makes a difference! Love you and miss you, too!
Thank you Rachel! Couldn’t have been a better night for me to read your blog, as I’m overwhelmed with holiday commitments, cleaning and way too many things on my to-do list! And I have a feeling I’m going to be thanking you again and again, because I intend to check in regularly to keep me ‘in the moment’ with my kiddos! xoxo
Jill, what a bright spot to hear from you today! I was just telling Scott last night that I couldn’t wait for you to see that I am writing. You always told me I could do it, and we shared some lofty writing dreams together, didn’t we? I can recall every word of encouragement you ever gave me. Thank you for reaching out to me tonight.
Love, love, love it! And, I am so proud of you for pursuing your dream and your passion. Your words have always touched my heart and soul and I know they will do the same for so many others. I struggle every day to keep a balance and focus on what matters most. So, thank you for solidifying what I have always known. I will be waiting on the edge of my seat for your next entries. And, smiling as I experience all of my “hands free” moments. Thank you for the reminder! Love you, my friend.
Thank you, Bethany! Your support and encouragement mean the world to me. It really feels good to be doing what I feel has been the plan all along. I can’t wait to hear (and maybe see) the beautiful Hands Free moments in store for you and your family! So happy you are on this journey with me!
Rachel-
A friend of mine posted a link to your blog on facebook, and I followed the link. How grateful I am that I did! I’ve had one of those days… I’m sick, my baby is sick, we have snow but I had to go to the grocery… One of those days. *sigh* Yet, despite all of this, I could not just relax and take it easy. I, too, feel this need to be productive, to multi-task, to be the super-mom that society expects. This is also evidenced by my need to check facebook from my iPhone before I can allow myself to fall asleep
Anyway, I digress. Yes, I’m so grateful. Because as I read each of your entries and felt warm tears streaming down my face, I realized just how tied-up I’d become in “obligations” (which are really choices, not obligations) and to-do lists. And I’m sick of it. I’m sick of not feeling productive if my house isn’t spotless, or if I’m not doing more than one thing at a time.
So I’m going to take this journey with you. I’ve been longing for it. I want to be present in my son’s (and unborn child’s) lives. And not just physically present… Not just the mom who is there, but not there. I want to experience the world through my childrens eyes, and I can’t do that if all I’m looking at is a phone screen or a computer screen.
Thanks again for your words. Consider yourself bookmarked!
Michelle, I am deeply touched by your words. You have articulated thoughts and feelings that sound like they could be coming from own head. I read comment very early this morning and because of your words, I had one of the most Hands Free school mornings ever. I actually read a book to my girls during breakfast. Usually it is rushing around to get out the door with no time for connection. But like you said, it is a choice. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, which in turn touched my life in such a simple, yet profound way. Please continue to check in…we are truly on the same page.
It would be such a wonderful gesture to share the special moments you observed with the “Distracted Dad”. He would likely treasure it and even perhaps slow down enough to enjoy some of it first hand. Good luck finding him. I can’t wait to hear his reaction.
Hi Rachel,
I too followed a link to your blog that a friend of mine had posted on facebook. I just finished reading every one of your posts and feel like I’ve had a complete awakening! Not until I read your blog this evening, did I even realize how distracted and disconnected I have been living (or rather, not living) my life. Everything you wrote hits home and I feel like your words were meant just for me. Your simple and inspiring message of Hands Free Living is an epiphany for me!! From this day forward I vow to myself, my 2 beautiful children, and my husband, to slow down and step away from the distractions that are constantly beckoning me, and spend more time enjoying the precious moments we have together.
God sent an angel into my life tonight to help open my eyes. Thank you and God Bless you Rachel!! I am on definitely on board!!
Liz, thank you! To know that my words have created an awakening in you is just truly amazing to me. It is so comforting to know that I am not alone in this desire to live a Hands Free life. I have been blessed with the gift to spread this message and by people like you who take time to let me know it is being heard. May God bless you in your pursuit to make every moment count. Please let me know how it’s going!
You’ve truly found your calling. Looking forward to reading more.
Thank you, Nicole! Your words mean so much! XOXO
Rachel: I came across your website from a FB post of your Dad’s . I am no longer a young mother(my daughter is 30). I know alot of your articles are geared to younger families. What you write makes a lot of sense. I have several young FCMs who are young mothers who are struggling to create a good balance ( career, family,marriage,community) in their lives. I plan to share your site with them. thanks for sharing your inspiration. Jackie Fisher, Muncie, IN
Hi Jackie, thank you so much for taking the time to write me and let me know that you will be sharing my writings with the mothers with whom you work. I hope they find my website useful and inspiring. I am amazed by the varying audiences my blog is attracting. Many moms are reading, but so are dads, grandparents, and even people without children simply wanting to live more fully in the moment. Please keep in touch. I would love to hear any Hands Free moments that come from your parents!
Dear Ms. Stafford:
The hero that you wrote about in “The Steps of a Hero,” gave me my first job 10 years ago and to this day, his kindness to me and my family, particularly during long absences from work because I wanted to spend as much time with my wife before her passing is still something that those of us who work for him still talk about. But, it is a story you will never hear him tell.
Several months ago, this man reached out to several of his contacts in the publishing world and asking all of us to read this blog.
I just wanted you to know that when you are ready, feel free to reach out to me. I work exclusively in a genre that does not cover what you write, but I can provide you names of editors at Random House and Penguin Press that would be interested in speaking with you.
On a side note – I just wanted you to know that he talked about you at a business meeting and many of us who have known him for many years still can’t believe that he spends so much time asking people to help others (when it does not benefit him in anyway – something you don’t find in this business) – so, as a favor to him, whatever you need, just let me know.
Rachel, I have always meant to comment, but have not. Due to the 2 deaths close to my husband in the past year and a half, I hope to have new meaning. I don’t like to be stressed and I know what matters most to me…and it is for sure family and my relationship with friends and God. I just hope and pray that I have your devotion and williness when I do get frustrated or feel stressed. I love the idea for Easter and hope we CAN make TIME to do this!! Thanks Rachel! Your doing a wonderful job!
Thank you for your message today “Some rain got in”. It was beautiful. I wish we would have been neighbors longer but am grateful for the brief time we were. Again, thank you.
Thank you, Waynonda. You are a very special lady and an extraordinary mother. I feel so blessed our paths crossed when they did.
Rachel,
I just received a link to handsfreemama on my facebook page from a friend of mine…..not a college friend or a mutual friend of ours. This link was from someone I’m sure you don’t know or who does not know you. Word is traveling fast and your efforts are reaching new heights. She praised your honesty and encouraged others to join the revolution! We just got back from Disney World and you know their saying, “Let the Memories Begin”. We’ll, I think you should use it too. People are taking it all in instead of giving it all away. Keep up the good work, you inspire me to be great!!!
Jennifer, thank you for taking the time to tell me this! Although it was very hard to share this story, comments like yours confirm that my message is meant to be shared. Daily distraction is robbing us of what is most precious and it takes awareness to get our lives back. So many people seem to welcome this awareness and are making changes accordingly. I am truly grateful to have the support of so many who want to grasp what matters in this lifetime. Thank you for letting me know the impact!
Hi Rachel! I’m so glad I found your site and know that there are other women, wives, mothers who are tired of society keeping us on the hamster wheel and want to look to be fulfilled by God and Him alone! Thanks for your encouragement!
Thank you for your encouragement, as well, Christi! I have met so many folks through this blog who embrace the message of living out our purpose, whatever we believe that is, by pushing away distraction so we actually can! I am so glad you have joined me. All your comments have touched my heart.
I am floored by what you write, and your approach in general. I would like to feature you on our site, so that more people can be inspired by you. Please contact me.
Rachel – you are my angel today. Reading your posts is like a breathe of fresh air. Thank you for posting on my sisters blog so I could meet you. Isn’t it remarkable how our angels come into our lives?
Jennifer, I just love your sister’s blog. She is talented! I found myself laughing outloud at her posts. I don’t remember how I found her. I believe divine intervention brings people together when they most need their paths to cross. What a bonus that I got to meet you, as well! I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to let me know you were here. I treausre every syllable of encouragement I receive.
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FEEL SO hopeful and appreciative that I clicked over to your blog from Scary Mommy.
You are unique, unlike so much noise lately.
Really, what a wonderful place.
Thank you for sharing a peek into your world. Your journey is inspiring.
Thank you so much, Heidi! I appreciate you taking the time to let me know you read this and that you are here.
Love this blog. Thank you.
Thank you, Kat! I appreciate the feedback!
You are my angel tonight as i read this. Thank you so much. I really needed to find your blog!
Jayne, you just don’t even know how much your words mean to me. What a true gift you have given me by letting me know. THANK YOU!
Great blog Rachel! Thanks for the reminder to “stop and smell the roses” with our children and loved ones as often as we can! As they truly are what matters most in life.
I was awakend an hour ago by a squeak in the floorboards above me. First thought, shock, I am asleep? Again? Stretched out & legs up on the new recliner ? Lately, yes I find myself here, but oh such a comfortable snuggly warm chair… and I am so warm and cozy, and tooo tired to move. ah, just snug in deeper a few minutes to keep warm, wish I had a blanket…too tired to move. Just sleep. I jump. “Ping” Somewhere on the couch I had left my phone in my purse.
… the sun is rising. Too late to sleep. Peek at fb before youngest is up for school? A post from son’s past Sunday school teacher… leads me here – and as I read thru your first pages.WOW. My mind says YES. I grab my NEW notebook – the one to keep things – memories – names- places to go – A purple Mom’s Journal. And I begin a new page. Blogs to watch ( in my free time) we are so much alike…TEARS … as read thru your first year… I need to go… I will be back later … promised french toast, but now only time for cold cereal…
I am SO very thankful I found your website. I have told you this before in another comment, but it has changed my life. I look at things with a whole new perspective now.
I have been going through a rough time this week so I came to your site today specifically to read articles that I have not yet read and be reminded what truly matters. I think I will plan to stop by every day and read a previous article until I have read them all. They always uplift me and tell me exactly what I need to hear.
Thank you again for changing my life, and especially for changing my daughter’s life through the changes you have inspired in me.
Love,
Shelly
Shelley, just know that you have given me the best gift today. These were words I needed to hear. I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you come back again and again to read. That means so much. Thank you, friend.
I’ve just stumbled upon your site. I am so excited! Can’t wait to parent alongside you. Inspired.
Superb! Generally I never read whole articles but the way you wrote this information is simply amazing and this kept my interest in reading and I enjoyed it.
Stumbled across your blog, thanks to a friend. I’m so glad that someone is putting to words what I’ve been feeling! I hate that I allow myself to be drawn away from my children by email or social media. Who else could be more important, not to mention fun, to socialize with than my kids?! Thank you for the challenge to be hands free and cherish the moments, I look forward to reading more of your blog….when my children are napping.
this is the reason i only have a basic cell phone – i don’t need more distractions. but the same goes for computer time, or any other things that are stopping us from really connecting with our husbands & kids & are giving us any excuse to ‘opt out’ from real-life. this post has really prompted me to put some stronger boundaries in place for time that i spend sitting in front of the computer.
Hi Rachel – just a short note to say thank-you for your very inspiring stories and website. I discovered your website last week and today is Day 6 of being a Hands-Free Mama – I love it!! Might be too earlier to say this but I can feel the type of parent I am is totally changing for the better. Thank you very much and I look forward to more articles.
Thank you, Judith. These are truly the most beautiful words for my eyes to read. 6 days–Hands Free! AWESOME and wonderful! I don’t think it is too early to say you are changing as a parent! I could feel it from day one. Once your eyes have been opened to the beauty of living “Hands Free,” you don’t see life the same way. I am so glad you are here!
Ah, a kindred spirit! All that you said resonates with my heart of hearts! Teaching, learning, giving back, what’s important….
I found your blog from one of the articles I’ve read today from time magazine online, what a great and life changing advocacy and inspiration you’re! Indeed, my blackberry had become one of the most evil distractions I have right now and I feel guilty everytime I’m hooked to it instead of playing with my son. Thanks for enlightening me up!
I’ll definitely grab your badge and post it on my blog to spread the word! keep it up!
Thank you for the loving encouragement and support! I am so glad you are here!
Thank you for this blog. You are amazing. You inspire me!
I just found you today, but you are already a huge blessing to me and to my children.
I just found your blog today, and I already can not wait to keep exploring further.
This year is my year of learning to “Let Go” – It started with the birth of my 2nd son. I had to learn to let go of my birth plan so my child could guide me through his delivery. I had to learn to let go to survive the first few months. In those moments, I knew that the lesson of letting go would define 2012 for me. I know I had him so he could teach me this lesson.
Your blog, in the few short minutes I have spent reading it, has already made think about how much further I need to go with this life lesson. THANK YOU!
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Hi! I met you at Joanne Dorr’s house one day for our small group. I love your blog and read it in my reader often, but haven’t been to it in a while until tonight. Anyway, I noticed that it looked the same as it did when I first came and didn’t know if you’d be interested in a professional blog make-over since you’re so “big time” now.
I do blog designs for blogger and my husband is currently unemployed. Not saying your blog looks bad (I love your header picture, by the way!!!), but just reaching out to help someone that has such a great message to spread….IF you want the help. I could give you a discount since you’re doing such a great ministry! Just let me know if you’re interested and I can show you some of my work. I’m also a photographer. (website: catdmoore.com) Blessings, cat (catdmoore@gmail.com)
Thank you so much, Catherine. I would be very interested in learning more about your services in the near future! Thank you for your generous offer. My book proposal was recently accepted by a literary agent in NYC … I am praying a book deal is in my near future. I am certain when the time comes, I would welcome your help and expertise in updating my site. Thank you so much for reaching out.
I am so glad I found you Rachel.
I don’t know what led you to my blog, but I am incredibly grateful.
As I read what’s on these pages, it’s the same feeling I used to have when I walked through the door of my childhood home after a long road trip. The smell, sounds, familiarity, all made it feel like I had never really left. Your blog feels like home to me. Thank you.
Oh wow. That is so lovely, Joy! I am SO touched. You are an incredible writer and have blessed so many with your writings about Elliot. Thank you for the honor of this comment on my blog.
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I just wanted you to know that I love what you are doing. I am a mother of 6 beautiful, delicious children and my time is obviously spread thin… your website inspires me daily to cling to everything that really matters to me. Everything & anything else can wait. Thank you for sharing your passion and gifts with the world. You’ve made it a better place.
I am so moved, Jennifer. Your loving words have fueled me to keep sharing my story like nothing else could. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.
Hi! I’ve nominated you for an award! Check out the link http://justanotherwakeupcall.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/rainbows-on-my-windscreen/
Hi rachel, i have just been recommended to read your blog and have found it very interesting. I have tried to send you a email, but it won’t allow me for some reason. I have 2 children myself and as a mother i have lots of issues i would love to speak about and write about to do with parenting and the problems we face, i was wondering if you had any advice or help you can give me to starting my own blog. Any information would be great, thankyou. My email address is kirstybarber1983@hotmail.com
Hi Kristy,
That is wonderful that you are thinking of starting a blog. I am definitely not an expert, but here are a few things I have learned:
-Center your blog posts around one central theme. Let readers know what you are about through that one theme. This way readers know what they can expect when they come to your blog. It is hard to build a brand if the blogger is jumping around from topic to topic. My central theme is grasping what matters in life. All my posts have to do with that theme. In addition, it is something I am passionate about. I chose to write what is on my heart and be honest in my writings. Readers want a blogger who is real and authentic, someone they can connect with.
-Write consistently. The first year, I published 3 times a week. As my writing obligations and speaking engagements increased, I posted once a week. My readers can rely on me and know I will once post each week. I think writing one good, quality post a week that is well thought out is more effective than writing several rushed posts.
-Try not to get discouraged. If your goal is to grow a community of readers, know that it takes time. Just keep writing and reaching out to other bloggers to get your name out. Be prepared for criticism. When you put yourself out there, you run the risk of being criticized. If you believe in your message and feel like your blog is serving the purpose that you intended, then it doesn’t matter what other people think.
Best of luck in your new endeavor,
Rachel
Thankyou so much rachel for that advice, all very useful to know!! I am struggling with the process of how to start a blog or website up! And how do i get people to read it etc? Any more advice would be greateful.
Thank you Rachel for your inspiration and gift to this world. Slowing down and seeing/feeling what really matters is precious and something I intend to do much more of. I’ve just disconnected from facebook for that very reason. I love your blogs and can’t believe I’ve only just stumbled upon them, but also believe in divine timing! Thank you Earth Angel, you are a blessing to many. Now to go spend some quality time with my precious ones.
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What a moving “About”, straight from the heart. This really touched me. Well done, your writing really is beautiful!
Great job writing, loving…so inspiring. I look forward to reading more!
Thank you, Diane. What a lovely word of encouragement you have given me!
Pretty! This has been an incredibly wonderful article.
Many thanks for supplying these details.
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Rachel, you are a beautiful soul. I came across your blog on dailygood and I am floored by you. I am not yet a mother, but I hope that when I am one day (if I am blessed with such a gift) that I can garner such beauty, love and joy from motherhood. God bless you!
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful compliment! Thank you so much. You have truly touched my heart. God bless you, too!
I have read your blog before, but stumbled across it yesterday and I am forever changed. I still can’t stop thinking about how moved I was. I know it was a message made for me. Now to make a daily change, I’m working on that, I am forever changed. I will be in touch, but just wanted to say thank you and thank you to your teenage commenter.
Thank you, Danelle. Messages like this mean everything to me. Thank you for coming back today to tell me you are here, joining me on this life-changing journey. I am grateful for your company. xo
Rachel…I am so glad you include God in the things that are important to you…all that we have from the Omnipotent One is a gift..and all gifts originate from the power contained within understanding that…
Your gift is the gift of understanding..Jeff
Ah those days working with Special Needs Children with all of the under-funding . Due to State truancy laws I found I was enforcer most often and not the advocate for those most hard to reach. I found your blog so purposeful and a good witness.
Rachel,
Enjoyed the story “The Teacher Who Ran”. Your determination and love made a difference. Very inspirational story. I love how love works.
Thank you, Annette! I have “met” the kindest people through my article with Reader’s Digest. I am honored you took the time to write and tell me the story touched your heart. Thank you!
Yes. Thank you. I think you will appreciate this video too, expressing exactly your sentiments:
Lovely and powerful! Thank you for what you are doing for the earth and for children and families. I wish I lived closer to CA and could attend the camp! Thank you for reaching out and sharing your mission!
I would love to know the 6 words to say everyday. I need to let go and do what really matters. My son recently passed away and I need help in trying to really look at what matters and let go of all the bs that seems to drag me down…..Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dearest Lisa, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I would love to help you any way that I can. When you say you would love to know the 6 words to say everyday, I think you might be referring to a certain post I wrote. I will link to it below. However, I am not sure that is the best one for your situation. So I would like to give you a few more that might be more beneficial.
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/11/20/today-let-me-appreciate/
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2011/01/20/butterfly-part-2/
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/09/11/remembering-sunscreen-and-butterflies/
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/04/16/six-words-you-should-say-today/
Let me know how else I can help. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you peace, dear one.
I am not a blog follower but I think I found one I need to read! I have twin 20 month old boys, a 9-5 job and i do a little creative business on the side. I am overwhelmed. EVERY. DAY. Your words from your most recent post have changed me.
Hi Rachel,
I seriously stumbled upon your blog on FB (the latest blog about why yelling matters) and for kicks I read it! I am a teacher and a busy mom. I have 2 daughters like you, ages 5 & 8, and I was moved beyond belief. I don’t even know you, but I feel this connection because of this blog. I am now going to be following everything you write, and I particularly was touched about what you wrote about yourself. You have a lovely spirit <3 Namaste and thank you for writing!
LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog post! I’m a mom of five awesome kids, 3 amazing grandkids, a physician-OB GYN. Too often glued to my &*%$# phone out of necessity, currently have been awake nearly 36 hours after delivering 5 babies in the past 2 days….so um, yeah….thanks for making me cry! lol
I just want to let you know that I am addicted to your blog! You have the insight & the mindset that I desire… I want to be a cool, care-free, fun-loving, hands free mom … but I am often a fierce, overwhelmed & angry mom of 2 super awesome & incredibly WILD lil future-men (1yr & 4yr). I want you to know that you inspire me & I think you’re my angel of sorts!! Thank you. =)
AWESOME!!!