“The world is too big to never ask why
The answers don't fall straight out of the sky
I'm fighting to live and feel alive
But I can't feel a thing without you by my side
Send me out a lifeline.”
–Mat Kearney
I grew up seeing handwritten notes as expressions of love. My mom worked long hours so she often left small, square papers on the bed for my sister and me to find. Sometimes it was just a smiley face, other times she simply wrote the words “love you” in ordinary ballpoint pen, but it was more than enough.
Lifelines
Starting in elementary school, my mom requested I write notes to my grandma who lived a few hours away. What I loved the most is that Grandma always wrote back. The excitement I felt when I looked in the mailbox and saw a letter in my grandma’s shaky letters never disappeared. Even in college when there were tests to study for and social gatherings to attend, I took time to sit on my narrow bed and read my grandma’s letters the moment they arrived. By studying her handwriting, I could almost tell how she’d been feeling that day. In the end, her manuscript became barely legible. Those notes are now treasures.
Lifelines
I’ll never forget when the guy I was dating my senior year in college had a family emergency and to take a sudden trip home. Sometime during the middle of the night, he’d dropped off a handwritten note telling me why he had to leave. A handwritten note of this nature from this particular guy seemed like a really big deal, and I felt incredibly excited by it. I tucked it away for safekeeping not knowing that note would be the first of many special letters from my husband.
Lifelines
The words, “I’m proud of you,” from my dad written in his signature black felt-tip pen, birthday notes from friends containing funny memories, and cards from my former students written in precious kid penmanship are all lifelines I can’t bear to throw away.
But I have to tell you, my greatest lifelines have come from my youngest daughter, Avery. Around the time I woke up to the fact that I was missing my life, my daughter was learning to write words. As I took small steps to be more present in her life, she began writing me love notes. Although I’m sure the timing was purely coincidently, these powerful visuals fueled my steps to let go of distraction and perfection.
I began to banish the “hurry ups.” I stopped skipping the goodbye hug that I thought we didn’t have time for. I looked into her eyes when she spoke. I even paused for 30 seconds during the frantic morning lunch-making process to place a sticky note in the lunch box.
One day I put a yellow Post-It note on her sandwich not realizing there was a blank one attached to it. When I cleaned out her lunch box that night, my note had multiplied. I cried when I saw she’d written the same thing as me.
“I love you Avery”
Throw out a line—it has a way of coming back to you.
I reached up and stuck my daughter’s note on the cabinet where the sandwich bread was stored as a source of daily encouragement. A few days later, I posted another one of her notes in the pantry where the cereal was kept, then another in my clothes closet where I got dressed, and another on the bathroom mirror where I brushed my teeth.
“I love you so much. I will love you for my hol intier life.” (whole entire life)
Wherever I turned, there were my signs of encouragement shaking me from my hurried, distracted, perfectionistic, and tech-obsessed state.
Lifelines
It’s been three years since I began my Hands Free journey, but my daughter’s lifelines are still posted. Now they are not so much for encouragement as they are reminders—reminders that time is fleeting.
Because the backwards letters have disappeared.
The floating letters have become grounded on stable lines.
The untraditional spelling has become traditional.
Letters are no longer gigantic, but rather small and dainty.
But the love, the love is still there.
Lifelines
Throw out a line—it has a way of coming back to you.
Now that you know how important the handwritten note is to me, you will understand why this next part of my story had to be included. You see, a few weeks ago, I received a message from a dad who’s been packing a note in his daughter’s lunch box for nine years. Garth supplied me with a link to his story that was published in The Richmond Times Dispatch. I share two portions of the article that made a tremendous impact on me:
“By the time Emma was 8 or 9, she had come to expect those notes. On mornings when she beat him downstairs only to find a note-less lunchbox, she’d actually come to him looking for the note, he said.
‘That’s when I realized, this is something that really matters.’”
After having a cancerous tumor removed, Garth came into the dining room to find his daughter ripping up the napkin:
“Heartbroken, he thought he’d done something wrong.
Turns out Emma had been saving her napkin notes in a little black-and-white composition book. Opening the pages, he saw strips of napkins – only the parts he wrote on – neatly glued to the pages …
When her father got sick, however, ‘I was really worried. I really wanted to have a piece of him with me,’ Emma said.
Today, she still keeps some of her notes, but not all.
‘I mean, they are napkins, so they do get thrown away,’ she said matter-of-factly.
Emma acknowledges that she tries every day to wait until lunchtime to see what her dad wrote. Occasionally, when she grabs a snack out of her lunch bag, she peeks.
‘It helps me to have something to look forward to,’ she said.” [source]
I couldn’t believe it—a self professed “computer guy” who loves his iPhone wrote to tell me he writes “Napkin Notes” to his daughter as a means of staying connected throughout the busyness of life. And he called it, “something that really matters.” Garth told me it is his dream to leave a legacy for his daughter by telling as many people as possible about the power of a handwritten note in a lunchbox.
I’d say he came to the right place, wouldn’t you? After all, it was this community that recently rose to Natalie’s Dollar Challenge and mailed thousands of “lifelines” to a special couple trying to raise enough money to adopt their baby. And because of the thousands of letters you sent containing a single dollar bill, Amanda is in Uganda at this very moment getting to know her precious two-year-old son, John.
Amanda's mailbox looked like this day after day because of you.
Lifelines
Throw out a line—it has a way of coming back to you.
Garth and his Napkin Notes have been a persistent thought in my head these days. He is currently recovering from another surgery related to his kidney cancer and perhaps as a means of sending goodwill to Garth, I’ve been doing my own version of the Napkin Note. As you know, I am a lover of the Post-It note, so Garth has inspired me to take 30 seconds to tuck a colorful square inside a guitar case, on a pillow, next to a plate of scrambled eggs, or in a coat pocket on a chilly day.
All I have to do is imagine the smile on the face of the one who discovers it and I feel good too.
Lifelines
They have a way of creating connection despite the busyness of life.
What calms a child’s school day fears can be found in the smiley face above the letter “i” or in the curve of an imperfect heart.
What creates hope in the heart of a weary waitress can be scrawled on a napkin and left on the table.
What makes a friend feel beautiful can be written in a neon-colored Sharpie and stuck on the windshield of her car.
What brings our distracted mind back home can be a stick-figure family drawn beneath a giant yellow sun.
What we believed in and how we loved can be seen in our own handwriting 50 years from now, even after we’re gone.
What really matters in life is literally at our fingertips—at our fingertips.
So grab a pen and anything you can find to write on, my friends.
Throw out a lifeline.
Watch love multiply.
And may it come back to you when you least expect it, but need it the most.
*******************
So you may have noticed a new look here at my website. The hand-lettered design was a dream I had for my Hands Free Mama book cover that through the help of many amazing individuals was carried into my logo and website. To me, the hand-lettered font you see here represents where I came from (filling notebooks starting at age 8) and where I always want to be.
A big thank you to: Jay & Kristi at Juicebox Designs, Julie at Blogger Boutique, Erin at For the Love of Letters, my sister-in-law Stacie, and my entire family at Zondervan & HarperCollins Publishing for bringing my childhood dream to life and enabling me to cast my Hands Free lifelines into the atmosphere through weekly blog posts and now a book!
Friends, I hope you will consider throwing out a lifeline to my new friend Garth and his daughter Emma. “Like” his Facebook page or blog. Spread his story. Share this post. Write a note and take a picture and post it to his Facebook page, The Hands Free Revolution page, or email it to rachelstafford@handsfreemama.com. Let Garth know he has made a difference in one life today.
*Thank you for being so awesome! I love sharing this journey to a more meaningful and connected life with you!
This is such a sweet story about how the little things add up to great big things. Thanks for sharing how your relationship with your daughter has blossomed. Those little letters will always be treasured by both of you for all of eternity.
I love your blog posts and they warm my heart and remind me to treasure those moments with my kids.
Thank you, Crystal. I so appreciate the loving encouragement! Thank you for taking a moment to tell me.
Really really beautiful. I love this idea. So so precious especially in the crazy electronic age where we hardly use our handwriting, written with love by our hands. Thank you !
Great post. I also use post-its in my daughter’s lunch. Those notes mean a lot to her. I like the idea of sticking one on a restaurant table or in my husband’s jacket. Those notes give pause to hope and lightness in the world. Thanks!
Ooooohhhh!! You have me sobbing at work… again! I am a sucker for handwritten notes and love to give cute cards to my friends. Of course that when I was distracted, I forgot all about my passion for writing, to the point where even I began to forget what my handwriting looked like. And I keep almost every single thing anyone has ever written me ever.
My biggest lifeline right now, however, is a key. A friend, a teacher, gave it to me earlier this year. She was the person who un-distracted me. She gave me a simple key, one that was actually stitched to a shirt she was wearing on the day (you know how some brands have unique symbols to represent them, like monkeys, alligators, etc.? Well, this brand has a small metal key, go figure. She gave it to me after a particularly hard day as a reminder to hold the key to my new life. The gift didn’t cost her anything and it became a daily reminder of what really matters.
Because of this small metal key, I ended up buying a gold one. I use it on a chain around my neck and I never take it off. The one she gave me is safely tuck in my wallet.
Small things go a long, long way!!
This is so awesome. This so beautifully illustrates how one single caring action from one person to another can be life-changing. Thanks for sharing your version of a lifeline. So meaningful.
Oh, and by the way, today actually marks one year from my breakdown-breakthrough moment! =)
Congratulations, Virginia! It has been a honor to walk this journey with you. I cherish every story you have sent me. Thank you for reminding me we are truly not alone.
Rachel, your new website is beautiful and like Virginia I am sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes. Just yesterday when my daughter brought home some school tests I found myself disappointed inside that she had missed so many math problems and that one spelling word. I knew that there was no need for disappointment and she is perfect just as she is. She then pulled out a card she made for me that completely melted my heart…saying that I was the best and she just wanted me to know that. Those written words brought me so much joy and love…..so yes, LIFELINES!
I love this story, Jennifer! What a beautiful example of a lifeline that lifts the giver and the recipient!
Rachel ,
I love love love the new design, the handwritting letters are so beautiful and everything ties together, the site looks more calm, more hands-free :-). I love the idea of hiding messages to brigthen someones day, when my husband used to pack his lunch to work I would put a nice message for him and I love to wait until he had his breakfast or unpacked his lunch-box and saw the meesage, at that moment he would call me and told me how much he appreciated the message that day, it was our thing. Now he runs his own bussiness and usually comes home for dinner so no more notes. But the idea of putting it in another place (like a jacket pocket) is really nice . I would love to start that tradition with my daugther and take those seconds everyday to reminder her and myself about the beautiful things I love about her. because one nice gesture can go a long way and change someone’s day.
Thanks again for the reminder, for your posts, for your work, for the jorney we walk together.
Venestina
Thank you, Venestina! I love that you described my site as “calm.” That is what I wanted. A warm, inviting, peaceful refuge where we could all just breath a little easier and reveal our scars and imperfections. Thank you for letting me know this story has inspired you to tuck away a little note. This is a gift to me today. Thanks for your friendship & support.
Affirmations. It is what you do, and, it is the most important thing we can do for our children. You know I love notes and beautiful things from the hands of children. They make us all sing, don’t they?
The website is so, so beautiful, Rachel. My heart absolutely soars at your hard-fought, deserved success. As always your words inspire me and your soul comforts me.
One of my beautiful boys, unbeknownst to me, saved every note I sent with his lunch in a little pouch on the side of his then Second Grade lunchbox. It somehow broke and comforted my heart at the same time, when I found them at the end of the year. They are in a box on a shelf and, he is saving them from this year as well. His twin brother, uh, well… he throws his away.
My best, as always.
Thank you, Bill. I always have to wipe my eyes after reading your comments–they have served as lifelines from the early stages of this journey so it seems fitting that you would leave one today, no less wonderful than the ones that came before it. I remember reading your blog about how you couldn’t bear to throw certain things away. I could so relate. The number of notes that I have posted or tucked in many corners of the house is unreasonable, but healing for me. Thank you for the positive words about my site and my messages. It means more than I could ever express.
My husband, who travels most workweeks, started leaving notes 2 years ago to our 3 kids, now 6-8-10 & me to find Monday AM. Always personal, loving, & relevant to the upcoming week, i am touched by the time he takes & how special they are to the kids.
I love your posts- it always hits home and reminds me to appreciate the moment. I couldn’t believe that in the outside pocket of my 8-year-old daughter’s lunch bag were all of the little sticky notes I had put in her lunches since the beginning of the year. I hadn’t realized she kept every one!
Rachel, I so much appreciate your thoughts & ideas. This particular blog resonates with my wife & me. I estimate that we send out maybe 700 greeting cards & postcards each year. We always add a handwritten personal note. They go to teenagers who we love dearly. They go to those who are hurting, grieving or down in the dumps. They go out for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, graduation, Christmas and other holidays. In this digital age, so many people of all ages have thanked us for these cards. People still enjoy getting something personal that shows up in their mailbox with a stamp on it. All these cards take time to write but we do it out of love for others, and we want them to know that they matter. Our time is a precious gift to give to others and they do know that we are taking time to write & mail these cards. I often say that we are more connected and less connected these days due to digital technology. I do use e.mail and facebook, and I text. But I try very hard to balance these with messages to people to keep some heart in my relationships. Godbless, Murphy.
You are a man after my own heart. Thinking of you and your wife writing hundreds of beautiful lifelines to the many people you described fills me with such hope. My favorite place in the world is a local card shop. I pick out cards that I love and I wait because I know the perfect recipient will be revealed to me in time. And he or she always is.
I so appreciate you taking the time to share your story and inspire us all. I will especially remember the last line: “I do use e-mail and facebook, and I text. But I try very hard to balance these with messages to people to keep some heart in my relationships.” Oh yes, the heart! Let us keep the heart in our relationships. Thank you!
I want to add that we are the recipients of so many blessings from the people who get our cards. And we both have been doing Youth Ministry for 36 years. Hundreds of high school students have blessed us beyond all measure over the years. We strive to be authentic, available & affirming. Spending time with teens is exhilarating!
I agree–when we throw out a lifeline, the love and hope has a way of coming back to us. Thank you!
Love the new look! It’s peaceful and clean. We have been writing napkin notes to my older daughter in her lunchbox since she was in Pre-K. We started with just simple pictures and moved on to more complicated little cartoons and jokes once she started to read. She’s in first grade now, and at one point I was wondering if maybe we should back off on the napkin notes, in fear that it might embarrass her to open them in front of her friends. Then she told me how she reads them out loud to her friends every day and tries to decide if Mom or Dad has written the message (we sort of loosely take turns), and showed me the little box in her room where she keeps the ones that she finds most special. I think it goes to show you that kids often notice the simple, little things the most. Thanks for the lovely post and I am off to check out the Napkin Note Dad!
This makes me smile, Karoline! Thank you for taking the time to share. And thank you for supporting Garth! You will love his notes!
The new website is beautiful, Rachel! Your post today just took my breath away, yet again. Oh, how I cherish those precious hand written notes that I find all over our home! I look at one by the DVD player every morning while I’m exercising to remind me of why I get up so very early…it keeps me going! I absolutely loved Garth’s story too. Thank you for reminding us to make an effort to have these daily connections. You are a lifeline to many!
Thank you, Kim! I love that you have a note next to the DVD player for motivation! These visual motivators are so important! I am glad you loved Garth’s story too. I want to support his cause & send him strength. I appreciate this community making it happen! Thanks for the kind words too!
Beautiful post – I will leave notes for my daughters on their pillows tonight. Even though they are only 2 and 4 and cannot read I know they will be excited and have me read the notes to them. Also – when I read that your friend was able to adopt her baby I cried – how amazing. God bless you and your blog, I get so excited when I see the email in my inbox saying you wrote a blog post.
Thank you, Carissa, for sharing in the joy.I was awestruck by the actions of this community when we learned of Amanda’s challenge to be united with her baby. I hope to be getting more information and a picture that I can share with everyone very soon. I never knew that when I started this blog how much I would cherish the companionship. Notes like yours today fuel my writing like no other. Thank you for sharing about the notes you leave for your children. Avery could not read when I wrote that yellow post it in her lunch box, but obviously she knew what that said! Love shines through, doesn’t it?
Hi Rachel! I have following your blog for awhile now. Love it! Share it! Forward it! You are so inspiring! And always timely…funny how that happens! I have been writing messages for my first grader and preschooler daily. I take a small post- it and fold it in half. One side simply to say “I love you” the other to say why….”you are ‘blank'” my son has saved every one since the first day of school. Just this morning he asked for another mason jar for his room because his other one is almost filled with notes! I asked what he planned to do with his note collection…he simply said that he’s keeping them for days he may need comforting! WOW! Even if we are running late…I will always take the time to give him this comfort! Thank you so much for your words! Warm regards.
I LOVE the new look of your website! Beautifully done, just like your writing. 🙂
I occasionally leave notes in my son’s lunchbox, but now I’m going to do it more often and with more care. Garth is leaving such precious treasures for his daughter to hang onto.
Thank you, again.
My children are grown adults now, but I saved all of their notes. It is so rewarding to read them. I don’t think my kids kept any of my notes, but it was still a wonderful thing to do. I loved writing on their napkins when they were in middle and high school. They said they were embarrassed when their friends would see them, but they also felt so good about it. and I imagine their friends wished their parents would write them a note. In this electronic age, I’m so happy to see so many people still “writing” notes. Thank you…thank you….thank you….
I love writing notes for my kids’ lunches. My daughter has taken over writing them for her little brother’s lunchbox. Another place I leave notes is in new notebooks or notepads I give to my kids or as gifts. I flip to a blank page somewhere in the middle and write a short note, just to say hi and I am thinking of you. My daughter always tears those pages out to save. Thanks for your blog. I am a new reader and I am trying to embrace a “hands free” philosophy so thanks for the inspiration and encouragement.
My husband makes our daughter’s lunch everyday, and has for the last 6 school years…he doesn’t write a note, but he draws a picture on one of the ziploc bags in her lunch, often related to whatever is going on in her life (big competition, holiday, impressive grade on a test). Last school year we found out that all of her friends at school wait anxiously, each day, to see what her Dad drew today and what it means and that she cuts out all of her favorites and saves them in a special place at home – we had no idea those silly ziploc bags that we chuckle about as he draws them made such an impression on our daughter and her friends. Thanks for sharing your article today as a reminder to keep drawing 🙂
This was a lovely post! I put a lunch box note in my daughter’s lunch on her first day of Kindergarten, thinking it would be a nice surprise for just that day. She loved it so much, she has insisted on a note every single day of school since then. That was four years ago. This also reminded me of the importance of writing thank you notes. Several years ago, I was helping my dear friend clean out her parents home after they had both died in a horrible car accident. They had saved every thank you note they had ever received and taped them to the kitchen cabinets. There were so many notes, you couldn’t even see the wood of the cabinets. It made a huge impression on me to see how cherished those thank you notes were.
Your post today inspires me… It makes me want to do better! And you have me a simple place to start! Lifelines! Love it! Thank u Rachel
Thank you, my dear neighbor and friend who believed in me before I believed in myself. You are a blessing in my life.
I have only been reading your blog for a few short months, but I absolutely love it. It resonates so much with me.
I started a napkin note of sorts with my son when he started eating lunch at school in grade one (grade four now). I used to create his lunches as a mystery he had to solve and I would include a handwritten clue in his lunchbox. Sometimes it was a number carried throughout his meal (6 carrots, 6 crackers, 6 grapes) or it was a colour theme (carrots, oranges, cheddar cheese) and he loved showing his friends at lunch that he figured it out. I now use paper bags when the kids forget their lunchbox at school and I customize them with their names and a picture and a message each. Some days I think they leave their lunchboxes at school on purpose!
My daughter, who is rapidly approaching age 6, has started to write a note to a boy in her class that she likes. It is currently 4 pages and includes beautiful illustrations to accompany such words as “It is good to have a friend like you” and “I like you as much as I can. I will like you for always even when I die.” Her little-girl handwriting and matching artistic style make this message even more precious. Of course, the boy in question probably won’t give a hoot, but knowing that this little girl has the ability to put her feelings to paper in vivid Crayola colours makes a world of difference to me. I can’t imagine a world where this kind of expression and demonstration of love and affection is extinct.
Thank you for your words that encourage and remind me to keep those “hurry-ups” at bay, to revel in the “one more kiss!” and to let the giggle sessions at bedtime run for just a little while longer.
Love it!! As I sit and tpye this I am surround by notes that my daughter has written to me and I’ve taped around my work area. Just like you I cherish the misspellings and crooked letters…even more so the expression when she comes to visit me at work and sees that I’ve saved them all. Thank you for all your kind words, each and every post has offered me pause and reflection and vow to improve.
Blessings to you –
I need to do this again. Last year I put a couple post-it’s in my 2nd grader’s lunchbox, I Love You, etc…and the notes came home scribbled/scratched out, by him. I asked him why and at first I got ‘I dunno’, shoulder shrug, but after some gentle prodding, it turns out some of the kids had laughed at him for getting a note from his mom. So I stopped. But I’m going to start again, and this time if anything happens like last year, I’m going to explain that showing someone you love them isn’t anything to be embarassed about.
Amanda is in Uganda!! I have chills and tears running down my face! I am so thrilled for her and her new family! Thank you for all you do!!! Just like the post it notes, I get excited when I see a new email from Hands Free Mama. Thank you for this lifeline!
I love this message! My husband packs lunches in the morning for both my son (in kindergarten) and me. Each day he includes a note – either to say, “I love you”, or that he’s excited to see us that evening, or whatever else is on his mind. Each day when I open mine, it makes me smile. It is truly a lifeline in my otherwise crazy, hectic day. And my son enjoys them just as much. He’s been getting these notes since starting pre-school two years ago, when he would have to ask his teachers to read them for him, and always tells us how much he likes these ‘surprises’ in his lunchbox!
I struggle everyday with the insecurity that I am not doing a good enough job as a mom. Some days are worse than others. The worse days of all, I happen upon a new email from your website. It truly is some sort of divine intervention. I cannot express my gratitude for your wonderful words. Thank you for always finding the right words to open my mind and heart to being a more present mother for my children.
This is one of the most beautiful articles I’ve read about handwritten notes. I’m now a big fan of Garth’s!
This is so wonderful Rachel! Love what you say and loved reading Garth’s story. I used to be very good at putting a post it love note in my oldest daughter’s lunch box but I have fallen off the wagon this school year. This is a great reminder of what an impact it can make and has renewed my commitment to keep doing it for her, no matter how old she is! Thank you for all you do, and I LOVE the new design, it’s brilliant!
I love the new look…..and as usual, thank you for sharing this post. it is so well said. I liked Garth’s page and left him a comment and delivered three notes that are waiting for their recipients to arrive any moment. Something I’ve done in the past, but a reminder is always always appreciated. i love your story and your daughter sounds amazing.
Oh, what a beautiful treasure your writing is to so many readers. Thank you for all of your poignant storytelling. I think this one is my favorite so far.
I’m just about ready to make lunches for tomorrow–with notes of love and gratitude for each one. Thank you for the reminder that little expressions of love can be life-changing.
When my daughter was in high school, I began writing continuing stories on the luncheon napkins I placed in her packed lunch. I soon learned that she had friends who gathered around her at lunch to hear the on going silly sagas I wrote.
I occasionally packed a home baked chess pie for my daughter to share with these friends.
One of those young men has been my daughter’s brother-in-law for
15 years, and he still enjoys a “chest” pie (as he called them many years ago) when our families are together. Lol
I love the new blog design and am a big believer of hand written notes! Thank you for your words.
I truly LOVED this post!! I just wanted to say, that I put an “I Love You…..” sticky note in my daughters lunchbox this morning, and I felt so happy about it! I can’t wait to get her feedback this evening when I pick her up!!
I’m so glad I’m not the only mom saving notes! I actually have a note my own mother wrote to HER mother after a good day at school – early elementary, I’m guessing, by the handwriting. My daughter wrote one also after a good winter day at school, saved beside it as well….I’ve also been known to frame them – visual reminders of lovely memories. I love the “napkin notes” idea, too.
I wrote a note to my 5-yo son on his dry erase board after one particularly difficult evening. I said: I will always love you. You are very special to me. Mama.
I had to read it to him (multiple times a day per his request). He wouldn’t erase it from the board so he could use it. I finally had to write it on a piece of paper and I taped it to his bedroom wall above the light switch. He actually copied it onto another piece of paper and put that paper on the opposite wall of his bedroom. He still wants it read to him, but he has memorized it and reads it out loud at least once a day.
Beautiful story. Our words hold so much power–what a great reminder to use these words to build up, not tear down. Thank you. I am grateful for your inspiring message today.
I was a lunchbox note writer throughout my daughter’s school years, and even into her college days. I would make up silly rhymes for a Friday that foreshadowed whatever activity I had planned for us that evening, like “Hey, baby – let’s go to the mall! We’ll shop til we drop, and then we’ll crawl.” When I packed her stuff for college, I inserted random notes into notebooks, winter clothing, etc. so she would find them throughout the year. Now that she is about to be married in December, your lovely post has me thinking of ways I can sneak some notes into her bridal accessories and her bags for her honeymoon. Thank you for the reminder that they are never too big for a love note!
Thank you for taking time to share your own beautiful story. I can only imagine what a treat it was for your daughter to find notes from you while she was going about her day in college. I know I would have never outgrown such a loving gesture from my mom. I am going to try to remember to do this when my girls go to college–although they are 10 and 7 right now so I try not to think about that too much! 🙂
I crazy love hand written notes! I secretly hope for them in the mail everyday, though no one really sends them any more. However, for 12 years now I have been hiding them in my husband’s luggage when he goes on trips. He travels A. Lot. It is so much fun to try to sneak them into his suitcase while he’s in another room. As my boys get older, I hope to get them in on the fun : )
Tara, you are a lovely light! Thank you for shining it here! If I had your address, I would send you a note in the mail saying, “Keep on shining!”
My mom wrote lunch notes on the back of the Far Side daily comic calendar pages. I looked forward to them.every day, even in high school.
Thank you, Rachel. I love this blog. I am always happy when I visit. Especially today. You are an inspiration!
Thank you, Rachel, for your continued beautiful and meaningful expressions about everyday things that are often otherwise overlooked– I so look forward to reading your blog! Handwritten notes & letters ARE so very powerful . . . I wanted to share a story about a good, old-fashioned letter my Dad once wrote me during my first semester in college, back in 1988. I was struggling with calculus (which had seemed so much easier in high school. . .) and my engineer-Dad took the time to write me an encouraging letter with all kinds of tips for surviving my first semester and making the transition to college. His letter had so much great advice that I tucked it away and re-read it many times throughout my college career. I especially came to cherish the letter because in my second semester, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was devastated when he passed away during my junior year.
But, life goes on as it does, and eventually I packed the letter away in a box of mementos during a move between apartments. I got married, moved again, had babies, and never saw that letter again.
Last month, while I was looking for something else in my basement, I came upon a box filled with mementos from college. I held my breath and could only hope that the letter was mixed in with the old photos and cards that I’d found. Towards the bottom of a stack of cards I spied a legal-sized envelope with my Dad’s scrawl addressed to me at my first dorm room . . . . and I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Tears of joy and sadness all wrapped-up together at having found the letter after all these years, and stumbling upon this amazing connection to my dear Dad. After I re-read it and collected myself, I took it upstairs and shared it with my sons (who are 10 & 12).
They thought it was pretty special that I had found it– I tell them alot about my dad, their Pop-pop whom they have never met. Now they can benefit from his wisdom and love, too!
Just wanted to say I appreciate your blog. Also, something that we do in our family is write “mirror messages” with expo dry erase markers. Sometimes they are words of encouragement or love. Sometimes they are thank you notes. Sometimes the notes are countdowns to the next special date I have with my daughter or husband. It started with me just doing it when I went to work and has evolved into the entire family participating . My daughter was so excited when she got her very own expo marker for her own bathroom and reciprocates the messages. Anyway, it is a fun hing we do. Thought you might like the idea. Keep up the good work!
Hi, Rachel,
my name is Anna and I’m from Russia. Recently I found your article “Six words You Should Say Today” and it touched me so much that I decided to translate it for my russian readers, who can’t speak English. Many of them are inspired by it and they are very grateful. I would like to translate another couple of your articles: “The day I Stopped Saying ‘Hurry Up’” and “The Impotant Thing About Yelling”, but before i’ll start, I would like to ask if you do not mind? I am not a professional translator. I am a psychologist and I just like how you write.
Here is the link to the translation of your article “Six words…” http://anna-psy.livejournal.com/11647.html
Thank you very much!
Anna.
Yes! Thank you for the service you are providing! You are so kind. I also appreciate how you linked back to the original piece so I can protect my work. I am grateful!
Thank you! I’ll translate more with pleasure.
Thanks for sharing this today. I found it encouraging as I have a kindergartner who loves to have notes in his lunch, but I don’t always do it because either I have a morning when I am feeling lazy or I think to myself that he can’t read anyways what is the point. But I know that he does treasure the mornings that I do it & that he even has his friends look at my crude drawings when I am that motivated, but even knowing that I don’t do it often. This post reinforces how important it is for me to make an effort in this “small” thing which could have a huge impact. Thanks!
I LOVR your posts. Thank you for sharing this story. It really resonated with me.
I always send little notes in my daughters lunch box. The other day I found ALL of them folded up and stuffed into a secret pocket in her backpack! Something I thought she just threw away or was even possibly embarrassed by turns out to mean something special enough for her to save them. It’s no doubt the little things we do as parents that mean the most!!!
I love your blog and like many others I save reading them until my house is quiet and I can savor them. Thank you for that. My house and my job are technology filled and like you I look for ways to squeeze in that unconnected quiet time. However, I want to say for those whom a hand written note may not be what they can do or are likely to do – don’t ignore the alternative of connecting electronically. I love the hand written notes – don’t get me wrong. But a quick text on a day I am travelling to my middle son that he see’s when he gets out of school with a note on something of interest or a just an “I love you” works too. A clipped newspaper article or an emailed link with a note of thought you would find this interesting, amusing etc. connects with my oldest who will call me later with his inputs and comments. Not just a blind forward – but an attached note of why the article or link might be of interest. My youngest stayed in touch with my on an overseas trip via Google Docs – we each updated our part of the conversation overnight when a 10.5 hour timezone change made it hard to talk.
I love the personal – just don’t ignore the ways to connect in our electronic lives too. Between them both what an impact we can make on others.
You make an excellent point, Cherese! Thank you for sharing that. I, too, fully support staying connected in any way that works for ourselves and our loved ones.
Technology can be such a blessing when it comes to letting someone know we are thinking of them!