“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.” –Mother Teresa
For the past five years, I’ve helped organize a community event where kids learn a simple way to bring hope to children in poverty-stricken situations. Through a PowerPoint presentation, kids are able to see how a simple shoebox filled with items like pencils, toothbrushes, and plush toys can bring joy to needy children. Although they were very small when I started this tradition, my daughters have always been eager to help. I hoped that someday one of them would come to me and say they wanted to step off the sidelines and stand in front.
And I really hoped it would be this year.
When I dreamed of publishing a book, I had no clue what it would entail. Sadly, I realized my current writing and promotional obligations would prevent me from creating this year's PowerPoint presentation and script. With high hopes, I went to my tech-savvy ten-year-old, Natalie. After all, she holds a mini summer school for neighborhood children in our family room every summer—I thought for sure she would say yes to my proposition.
“No way,” Natalie said adamantly when asked if she would do the shoebox event presentation. “That would be WAY too embarrassing to stand up there in front of all those people,” she argued sounding a little too much like a feisty teenager.
“But you know all those kids .. and you know how to pack a shoebox … and you are great at making PowerPoints,” I argued persuasively.
She paused, and then shut me down completely. “Sorry, Mom.”
I was heartbroken. What could I do? I decided I would put the problem out of my mind for a few days and maybe Plan B would present itself.
A few days later Natalie came to me. “Okay, I will do the presentation, but my best friend is going to do it with me,” she assertively informed me.
Three weeks later, my daughter and her friend captivated children ranging from age four to twelve-years-old. They’d worked hard on putting together a powerful slideshow with unforgettable stories and photos.
The girls thought to ask questions and engage the children in the discussion. After showing them photos of barely clad, hungry, crying children Natalie asked, “Why do you think we are telling you these sad stories?”
I held my breath. Would anyone know? Many hands went up but the answer was nailed by the first responder. In a voice that sounded like he was on the verge of tears, an eight-year-old boy said: “When I hear these stories, I get a feeling in my heart. And that feeling makes me want to put everything I own in a shoebox for a special child.”
Apparently he wasn’t the only one with that feeling in his heart. As the children were being ushered out, many of them surrounded Natalie and her friend telling them excitedly what they were going to put in their shoebox. One small boy said he was going to send electricity. When another child said, “You can’t send that,” Natalie spoke up. “If your heart feels like it putting something particular in the box, then follow your heart,” she told the electricity giver.
Natalie and I rode home in peaceful silence, both of us replaying the unforgettable night in our heads. With a look of pure joy on her face, Natalie finally spoke. “I am glad I said yes,” she admitted knowing I would understand what she was referring to. “I can’t wait to do it again next year.”
When we got home there was a message from Amanda, our former babysitter, who recently traveled to Uganda to bring home her adopted son. She said she and “Jac” had just landed in the U.S. The hairs on my arms stood up when I realized that while Natalie was telling children about orphans in need in Uganda, Amanda was bringing home her son who had lived in a Ugandan orphanage since he was three months old.
Excitedly I called out to Natalie to come see the pictures. “They’re home!” I cried.
Natalie knew immediately who I was talking about. Her single dollar bill tucked in a hand-written note to Amanda sparked an outpouring of dollar bills from all over the world through this blog. For weeks, Natalie and I’d been following Amanda’s updates from Uganda anxiously awaiting news on court dates, visas, and terror threats.
Natalie stared at the picture of Jac with the most glorious smile. She studied his face as if trying to hear his voice, hear his stories. So I offered her some. “Amanda says Jac laughs and smiles all the time. He says ‘Ov wu’ for ‘I love you.’ He helps out by carrying over his dishes, but he gets into things just like any typical two-year-old would. When Amanda put her freshly washed clothes on the balcony to dry, he tossed off a pair of underwear!”
Natalie and I laughed and continued to study the pictures. We were especially moved by one photo that showed how love can completely transform a person in just a few weeks time.
On the left: Jac's referral picture from a few months ago. On the right: Jac now.
“Thank you for your believing a dollar can make difference,” I whispered in my child’s ear. And then I admitted something that was hard to admit. “When Amanda first asked me to share her adoption fundraising needs on my blog, I said no.”
My daughter looked confused.
I proceeded to explain. “Everyday I get requests from people asking me to promote worthy causes and raise money for individuals fighting hard battles. I get so many requests that I told Amanda I just can’t say yes to them all, so I had to tell her no.” Looking straight into my daughter’s questioning eyes I explained my change of heart. “But Natalie, my heart hurt. My heart wouldn’t let it go. And so when you wrote that card to Amanda and put in a dollar, I took a picture. That was the moment I knew I must say yes and let others know how they could help Amanda and her husband bring home their son.”
Wrapping her arm around my back, Natalie leaned against me and quietly consoled me. “I didn’t say yes to the PowerPoint at first either.”
As we hugged and celebrated the ways we are growing and learning on our Hands Free journey, I realized this: It is not humanly possible to say yes to everyone and everything, but we can say yes to one … that one that tugs at our heart … that one that won’t leave our mind … that one that keeps whispering our name.
So my motto going into the holiday season is going to be “Just One” each day.
Just one envelope taped to the top of the trash receptacle.
Just one small treat for the mail carrier.
Just one crumpled bill placed in a needy hand.
Just one pause to listen, really listen.
Just one offer to help.
Just one word of thanks.
Just one phone call to someone in need of a friend.
Just one note of appreciation to someone who’s made a difference.
Just one offering of complete presence.
Just one napkin note.
Just one apology.
Just one act of forgiveness.
Just one hug with both arms.
Just one “Sure, “I’ll play.”
Just one hand reaching under the covers.
Just one unrushed kiss.
Just one “You matter.”
Just one “You’re beautiful.”
Just one yes when you feel like saying no.
Just one change of heart.
Because when the heart won’t give up, that means it is time to say yes to the power of one.
In brightly colored envelopes,
In small hands,
In willing hearts,
One act of love can move mountains and put joy on the face of despair.
A week after Jac arrived home, his daddy also came home from deployment. Their family sends their deepest gratitude to you for giving them the “steps” they needed to become one.
Just one day's worth of “lifelines” sent to Amanda from all over the world by YOU.
Natalie's initial note containing a single dollar bill that ignited a flood of “Just Ones” that brought a baby home
******************************************
My dear friends of The Hands Free Revolution, it brings me so much joy to share this incredibly happy ending, which is actually an amazing beginning, with you. Through the stories you share here and through email each week, I am inspired beyond words. You help my feet stay true to the course and even when I slip, you allow me to share my struggles by saying, “You are not alone.” Thank you for supporting my writing through “just one” word of encouragement, just one “I can't wait to read your book,” or just one “I am using my Hands Free bracelet to remind me of what matters.” Your encouragement matters so much. Please share any ideas you have below of how you might live out the “Just One” motto this holiday season. Compassion is contagious.
oh this is just too much. I’m all tingly and goosebumpy and my heart is swelling. Just one – what a beautiful message.
Thank you, Christina! You are kind to give me this loving feedback.
Oh wow..this is such a remarkable story. I’m so glad she said yes too. It will be an experience that neither one of you will ever forget. What a life changing experience for her and those other children involved. Thanks for sharing this inspirational Christmas miracle with us.
Thank you for being here, Crystal! I so appreciate the support.
I enjoy your blog immensely. You help me try find my sanity in navigating parenting my 6 year old who has special needs. Thank you for your honesty and bravery, admirable qualities that I wish were more present in the world. I wish you the best this holiday season.
That means a lot, Jessica. Thank you for saying that. And thank you for the important job you do. As a special education teacher who worked with many, many parents for ten years, you are my hero.
WOW…..that about sums it up. I am touched by your writing and your sharing. WOW!
Thank you, Megan! You have blessed me.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your saying “YES!” to writing this post. In a few short sentences and a few picture-tells-a thousand-words photos, you brought the message of Christmas to my heart. May I be granted the focus to stay on this course all year around. God bless you and your entire family.
You brought tears to my eyes, Lauren–happy tears, of course. It is so comforting to know we are not alone.
Simply wonderful. I hope I have experiences like that with my boys. They are so different than girls! 🙂 I’m going to do something on your “just one” list each day too. I just added your book to my Kindle, I am very much looking forward to January 7th!
I am so touched, Missie! I am glad the “just one” list resonated with you. I feel hopeful when I remind myself that small acts of kindness can make a huge impact and our children can be involved too — and that is so important to me. I am thrilled to know you purchased my book for your Kindle. Truly, that is such a gift to my writer’s heart that lately feels a little anxious about the release of the book. You have given me peace today.
Ugh! Tear jerker everytime! But I love it, its always the reminder I need. I have changed the way I live my life because of you and your posts and its so wonderful. I am even starting to see my husband follow me. I loved seeing the outcome of this story. We sent $3 to Amanda, one from each of our family members and it was so great to see the happy ending. Thank you for being you 🙂
I am so touched by your message today, Krystal. Your encouragement and feedback came JUST when I needed it. And thank you for the contribution you made to Amanda, John, and Jac becoming a family. Look what we can do when we all come together as one!
Truly inspiring! Through your blog, I have learned so much about slowing down and about saying “yes”. I said my own very important “yes” yesterday. I have been talking to my four-year-old about buying gifts for less fortunate children for Christmas. She seemed pretty excited about it. I told her that after dinner we’d look on the computer to select the kids we’d sponsor. When I asked her how many kids she wanted to buy for, her reply was “this many…ten”, holding up all ten fingers!! My first thought, was “Oh no. I shouldn’t have left it so open.” I hesitated briefly, but decided to go for it. “Well, okay” I said. Last night we selected a family with ten brothers and sisters for whom we’ll be buying Christmas gifts. We’ll have to buy less for each person than we would have had we selected only a couple of children, but she is elated that she’s going to get to “buy lots of stuffs for lots of kids!”, and I am so happy to have a chance to touch the lives of all of the children in that family. It’s amazing how good this “yes” feels! Thank you for your inspiration.
This brings me tears and smiles! I can just see your precious girl holding up as many fingers as she has and how delighted she must have been when you said YES to her amazing heart! My favorite part about sponsoring a family or child is that on Christmas morning I remind the children that the family we sponsored is opening up their gifts now too. It helps us remember what is truly important and that the best feeling in the world is to bless someone else. I am grateful for your sharing this story. Please give your little girl a hug from me and tell her I said thank you for having a BIG heart.
Thank you so much for this & I am so glad that I read this today. Just this morning I was feeling a bit of compassion fatigue. I feel that I am always trying to do things for others, but lately, I am just not feeling it. Sometimes its just hard to give, hard to put forth the little extra effort. Thank you for reminding me that giving is receiving. I remember many months ago reading your blog, getting out an envelope, emptying what meager cash I had in my wallet and putting it in the mail to help bring Amanda’s baby home. I’m so glad I was able to help in a small way. Today I will choose to give, even though I am tired and it is hard, I will. Thank you,
Jennifer
Thank you for meeting me in the light of realness, Jennifer. I appreciate your openness and honesty — many of us can relate to the feeling you described. I am touched to know you were part of the miracle that brought Jac home. Sending love & strength to you today, friend. So glad we’re in this together.
Such an amazing story and what a great idea to teach your children about giving. I will definitely show this to my 6 year old and I hope it helps her realize how lucky she is and what she can do to help other kids in need close to home and farther away. Thanks!
Thank you, Marzena! Compassion is contagious!
PS I love your beautiful name!
Thank you Rachel for always showing us that it’s the little steps, the one thing that can make a difference. In my overwhelmed mommy life I try really hard to remember I can make a difference one step , one day, one act at a time…a very timely blog thank you!
Is there a way for others to help contribute shoeboxes? Or an address we can send them to? I am working hard at sharing these types of giving ideas with my girls. thank you!
Hi Tanya, thank you for the sweet message and interest in packing a box! There are many locations that are still receiving boxes until Dec. 20. Here is the information: http://www.samaritanspurse.org/operation-christmas-child/drop-off-locations/
If you want me to send you Natalie’s powerpoint and script, just email me: rachelstafford@handsfreemama.com
What a beautiful story. Just one…….this will be on my heart.
Thank you for taking the time to tell me, Valerie!
I just printed your post to hang on my refrigerator. At the holidays and all year, I often feel like I don’t know where to start, so I just DON’T start. Thank you for helping me remember the power of ONE act. As always, I am so moved by your writing and honesty. Please don’t stop sharing!
You have touched my heart. To know this story is hanging on your fridge as a reminder is truly a gift to me! Thank you, friend.
Thank you for this…. I was just speaking to a friend about being so overwhelmed with all the needy children and people in the world. I am adopting the Just One philosophy for Christmas!
P.S. I would love to see the girls PowerPoint presentation….
Thanks, Kris! Just email me and I will send it!
Almost an immediate email response! Thank you! The PowerPoint was great. I will share with my granddaughter ASAP!
Wondering if you or your readers might have any ideas on how to “teach” someone your valuable principles (other than living by example), who won’t read your blog or book. Someone very special to me needs to hear your message. If I share it with them, I will be “nagging” and it will go in one ear and out the other…
Goodness!! My eyes just welled up with each and every word. And my heart just grows and grows every time I read your posts. Thank you!!!!
Ditto
Rachel, what a beautiful story! I just want to reach out and squeeze those gorgeous little Jaq cheeks. Merry Merry Christmas!
You have to be so proud of your daughter. I’m proud of her. I love your writing. As much as I fly through things everyday to get to the next thing, I’m always glad when I take time to stop and read your posts.
I just love your blog it leaves me in tears every time! I seem to be struggling a lot lately trying my best to parent my 2 daughters (2 and 7). Whenever I read your words I am reminded that I am the one making it harder than it need to be. They are little girls and need to be able to BE little girls. Thank you for your beautiful words.
Rachel that was totally beautiful. I love your blog. I can’t wait for the next one as soon as I finished reading the current one.
I am in Starbucks waiting to pick up my daughter and I am crying. Thanks! Lol
I REALLY needed to read this today! I’ve been so overwhelmed by the mad rush of the Christmas season, everyone’s Facebook posts about having their shopping done, their trees decorated, their cards mailed. I’m feeling a little like Charlie Brown… is this a rat race or the season of joy and giving?!? So this really, really made my heart happy. Thanks so much for sharing. (And my goodness—that before-and-after shot is just amazing. Truly breathtaking. All you need is love!)
Rachel, love today’s post. You always make me think and she’d a few tears. This is beautiful. So is the adoption and what your site is powerfully doing to help moms be more here now;) but please, before Christmas… Share your daughters power point! I’d like to inspire my children. I’ve done so w my church for Good Samaratin org but think her video may be a great inspiration. You could give shipping info for us too. We will all spread cheers now, much like the dollar bills! I will make “just one” be our new dinner conversation starter, to see what simple act of kindness we’ve each done. You continue to make me stop in my tracks and I’m indebted to you!!
I just sent a bunch of people the powerpoint and shipping information, Kimberly via email! I am not techy or I would try to post the powerpoint on my blog somehow? Sorry I don’t know how to do that. But please email me and I will send you everything! rachelstafford@handsfreemama.com
Thank you for such kind and loving words!
I am so glad to have discovered you. You are a remarkable woman, mother and writer (And I’m sure you’re a great wife too.) And your daughter is also remarkable. (My word of the day) Keep making a difference.
I’ve been reading your blog for couple weeks and am so in awe of what you are doing in a world that is at odds with your choices. I’m a grandmother so have been through many Christmas seasons of over-gifting. You’re thoughts on ‘just ONE’ really touched my heart and encouraged me to let go of my Grinch-y-ness and strive for doing just one thing each day this month and all year through. thank you for sharing with us.
God Bless you my dear friend for sharing this incredible message of hope. The power of one is totally amazing, especially when it comes from a child. It’s caring people like your daughter who will hopefully continue to make a difference in this generation of ‘I want this…….’ children! A bell is no bell until you ring it. The love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay. Love isn’t love until you give it away………..that your daughter!!!!!!
Thank you, as always, dear Lloyd, for having the most loving words that touch my heart!
Rachel, thank you for this piece … I appreciate the reminder to pay attention to the things that tug my heart and won’t let go. And the idea of just one is what grounds me when I slip into stressing about so-called writing success. If reading something I wrote moves one person, or helps one friend to feel less alone, then that’s where I can rest. Xoxoxo
Thank you, my wise and compassionate, friend. I am so glad we have crossed paths and we can take time to encourage each other. You are a shining light.
You have such a magical way of telling a story, and it never fails to put a lump in my throat. I adore you and all you stand for, Rachel Stafford! I love the way you help people and admit your own fears and faults and I love the way you write.
You are my ever-faithful supporter–have been from day one and I don’t think you will ever leave my side no matter how many times I fall. That’s true friendship. You are the best. PS Thank you for the most touching email this morning and offers of help. Just the offer made a world of difference in my outlook today.
Rachel, I’m going to print out your ‘just one’ poem and frame it for my kitchen.; an early Christmas present (thank you so much), a practical guide for applying love in daily life. My girls will love it too. Your posts always bring tears to my eyes, because they speak directly to my heart, in a language it recognizes and understands. Thank you for your openness in sharing, thank God for your beautiful writing talent.
Love Maria ( in Scotland) x
Another beautiful lesson. Amazing the change in Jac. And what made my heart tug more? Dad is serving our country. I have such respect for the men and women who give of themselves, and their families who are there sacrificing also. When I see a person in uniform I thank them for their service–it is the least I can do! Congratulations Mom and Dad! May God bless you in health and happiness. And thank you Dad for your service. I truely appreciate your commitment to our country’s safety and well being of our people. God bless you and your fellow service men and women. I wish your family all the best!
Just one “Thank you” for once again touching my heart with your writing.
Thank you for this reminder! It’s what I kep telling myself as I write and encourage women via my blog to spend time with God daily. If just one mother is reached and begins a habit like my mother did, and because of that growing relationship with God her family life changes, then it is enough.
Rachel, that was so beautiful to hear about Amanda bringing Jac home, I sometimes think about her, wondering how she was going with the adoption. I could feel the tears of joy and love welling up, as I read your post. Thank you for sharing both stories and the photos of Jac and his new family. So lovely to know that helping on a small scale can make a big difference.
I am so glad that I found your blog Rachel. You are so inspiring and are helping me be a more hands on mommy to my little ones. Each and every single post you make is just so beautiful and thoughtful and I hope to inspire my little ones as it seems you inspire yours.
I’m at work and crying. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! Your blog has been such an inspiration to me since I discovered it just a few months ago. I struggle with busyness too and I am learning how to just stop and enjoy the now instead of putting off playtime, telling my girls no bc it’s too messy, or I’m too busy right now. Thank you for your stories! I can’t wait for your book!!!!
Oh thank you so much for this post, Rachel! I’m a mom of two little ones and I so often feel like I’m a fish out of water trying to find moments to slow down, to remind myself what really matters, to do less and to be more for those I love by Just Being. Our community feels so over-busy and productive, and that can be so seductive!
What you wrote today is both inspiring and a relief — to know that even when I feel overwhelmed, I could do Just One and that is so much, that is enough. I’d love to see the Powerpoint presentation!
You are JUST ONE special lady!
I’m reminded of this quote… “The miracle is this: the more we share, the more we have.” — Leonard Nemoy
Hi God sent me to Uganda last year with a group, my first trip to Africa, I was changed forever by that trip. My heart melted with the orphans at Jesus Village in Kampala. Two young men shared their stories, we prayed with the group of 62 orphans personally. I couldn’t sleep God burned them into my heart. Those wonderful children, I did a powerpoint sharing “a night in Uganda” for donations at my husbands church. We raised $500 for the orphanage we had such a small group of people there, food for the orphanage is $200 a month. God put on the message.
What you are doing is so wonderful, we all need to pay it forward and let God use us as He will and He certainly has and is using you and your daughter.
Thank You for listening, I love the hands free concept.
Please keep me posted
Marsha Olguin
Thank you, Marsha, for blessing us with your story and encouragement tonight.
A wonderful message, Rachel! I’ve posted your “Just One” ideas on our message board to keep them top-of-mind. Thank you!!
So simple, yet so powerful. I will do this during the holiday season (and beyond).
Thank you.
Hi Rachel! My children are grown (in their 40’s) and I’m a grandma of 6. But I LOVE your blog! You’ve been blessed with the beautiful gift of wisdom for someone so young! You’re inspiring me – and I’m in my 70’s!!! I especially learned a lot in your latest post and plan to give special thanks this Christmas to the people who work so hard at keeping my apartment complex clean and neat. Your blog is reaching far and wide to help others feel appreciated – you are a blessing!
This is beautiful. I can’t stop weeping. I am fairly new to your blog and so sad that I missed the chance to send a dollar. So glad that others did.
I teared up reading this:-) I also just put your book on my Amazon wishlist…keep inspiring!
I am sitting here, reading this story, and I cannot stop crying! Happy tears, of course! I want to thank you, Rachel. You have opened my eyes to so many things, and I, too, am on a journey that is changing things for my daughter and I! Your blog is so inspiring to me, and I look forward to reading every week! I have pre-ordered your book, and cannot wait to read it! You are an amazing woman, and every day when I feel like I can’t take it, or I am frusturated, or I just want to scream, I think of you and it calms me down. Thank you so much for sharing your journey!
Somehow, I stumbled across your story today – of changing your overly distracted life. I haven’t previously heard/seen anything about you – or your website. Thank you – simply – thank you! I won’t go into long, rambling details – but I am a mom to 4 (3 still at home). My husband is disabled and ill. My youngest is 8 and is bi-polar. So, between my husband, my kids and my job – I usually feel as though I’m pulling my hair out. However, your story struck something for me, and I just wanted to say thank you. I’m not in a position to help much – but would love to know how to find a way to do what we can – the shoe-boxes maybe? How would I go about connecting with anyone to see what can be done to help? Thanks again, so much!
As I read this entry, I was reminded that today is the USPS canned food drive in my community — and that the mailman hadn’t yet come. I immediately put food outside for the carrier to pick up, before I finished reading 🙂 I especially love this: “Just one yes when you feel like saying no.
Just one change of heart.” Thank you for the gentle reminder to first look toward ourselves to make a difference, no matter how slight! Happy holidays 🙂
Please continue to touch our hearts & influence our ways….
God Bless!
Encouragement is always a wonderful gift.
Thank you for being a shining light in a grey world!
I found this in my FB memories today, and I want you to know that despite all the fear and negativity in the world, it is even more touching today than when I first read it two years ago. There is no greater power than unconditional love. I am so thankful for this reminder today and every day.
Hi Rachel,
I’m reading your Hands-Free Mama book and was looking to see if your presentation on poverty was available on your website. I would love to use it to present information to my kids about the shoebox idea. Would you be to send me your presentation so I can use it with my kids? If so, you can email it to me at nourishedandnurtured[at]gmail[dot]com
By the way: I love your book and it is helping me make big, positive changes in my own journey to be Hands-Free!
Sarah