Hands Free Mama

Letting Go...To Grasp What Really Matters

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Untapped Treasures

Last year, a few days after Christmas, I got a phone call I never wanted to receive. Occasionally, I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Memory Bank

The Way I See It

Before I began my Hands Free journey, I often noticed a woman at my daughter’s swim team practice.  … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Take Time to Say It Tagged With: Take Time to Say It

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A Course by Rachel

Soul Shift

Welcome!

Rachel

I want to make memories, not to-do lists. I want to feel the squeeze of loving arms, not the pressure of over-commitment. I want to get lost in conversation with my favorite people, not consumed in a sea of unimportant emails. I want to be overwhelmed by sunsets that give me hope, not by overloaded agendas that steal my joy. I want the noise of my life to be a mixture of laughter & gratitude, not the intrusive buzz of mobile phones & text messages. I’m letting go of distraction, perfection, & pressure to grasp what really matters. I’m living Hands Free. Will you join me? (Read More)

Meet Rachel

Speaking Events
“After attending one of Rachel’s speaking events, I am finding myself pausing more and re-setting my reactions to my spouse and children as a result of reflecting on the situations and lessons Rachel shared. Her decision to reveal the good, the bad, and the ugly, and what she’s learned as she’s worked to transform herself, has lasting impacts on her audience. Rachel’s lessons are like ripples in the ocean as they help others like me move towards choosing love and coming as we are. Rachel works wonders by helping others work wonders.” –A Hands Free Mama in progress

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Live Love Now
Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Live Love Now
Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

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During the holiday season, it helps to remember:
grief wears disguises …
fear talks in unbecoming ways …
anxiety gets controlling …
depression can look like fatigue …
hopelessness withdraws…
and when we see these things,
it is not a time to lecture, turn away,
or retaliate —
but a call to love.

My hand in yours,
Rachel 

📘poem from my 4th book LIVE LOVE NOW: Relieve the Pressure & Find Real  Connection with Our Kids
December can stir up pressure we were never meant December can stir up pressure we were never meant to carry alone.

If you’re feeling stretched thin or expecting too much of yourself, these permission slips are for you.

May they help you lower the bar, 
soften your pace, and protect the peace you’ve worked so hard to claim.

If one slide speaks to you, save it, send it to a friend, or say it to yourself.

Rest is not a reward —
it is a remembering: 
you are worthy, too.🩵

Only Love Today. 

My hand in yours, 
Rachel
December 2010 found me overwhelmed, exhausted, and December 2010 found me overwhelmed, exhausted, and running on empty. One tiny moment — my child’s burst of joy — brought me back to myself.

It reminded me of this truth: You are allowed to receive love, joy, and rest — not just give it.

If holiday stress, anxiety, or emotional fatigue has you pushing toward the finish line, please remember:

this is your life.

Your story is still unfolding, still capable of softness, still open to joy.

I wrote a new essay in Rachel’s Treehouse on how to feel heard and bring self-compassion into December. Click the link in stories or comment RECEIVE if you’d like to read it. 

My hand in yours, 
Rachel 

As always, please leave a heart if you are here. It helps to know we are not alone this December. 

#onlovetoday
During a very difficult season, I invited everyone During a very difficult season, I invited everyone at our Thanksgiving table to share one thing they were grateful for. I remember holding my breath while trusting that whatever emerged—messy, honest, tender, real—was worthy of being heard.

That moment taught me something I now know for sure:

When we make room for grief, we make room for our humanity… and for the humanity of those we love.

That’s where healing begins.

If you’d like to read more, I wrote about this more deeply in my latest Treehouse essay. Link in stories or comment SPACE, and I’ll send it to you.

My hand in yours,
Rachel 

🩵 Please know how grateful I am for everyone in this community. Thank you for letting me know how my words have felt like support to you this year. It means more than I can say.
Let this be your reminder: You don’t have to dis Let this be your reminder:
You don’t have to disappear to keep the peace.

You don’t have to abandon yourself to belong.

You don’t have to hold the whole room to be worthy of love.

Only Love Today means turning some of that love inward —
toward the parts of you that fall back into old patterns during the holidays, the parts that brace, perform, shrink, or overgive.

This reminder is for anyone learning to stay true to themselves while still loving the people around them.

Only love today… 
and in the week ahead.

My hand in yours, 
Rachel
Let no one tell you your efforts don’t matter.

Because they are wrong.

To ease pain is everything.

And if you touch even one life through your actions, one is enough.

I say this as someone who learned a lot
when I finally stopped trying to convince people who were never meant to understand.

The quiet inner nudges,
the ones with no words,
only truth—
that’s what needed my trust,
not the naysayers.

Go where your heart indicates your presence is needed.
Trust what you feel, even if you can’t explain it yet.

My hand in yours,
Rachel
I thought it was a reflection in the glass. 

 I thought it was a reflection in the glass. 

Surely, it couldn’t be a tiny rainbow. The sky was nothing but clear blue and sunshine.
 
So, I got out of my car to investigate. 
Sure enough, it really was a rainbow wedge just waiting to be spotted.
 
I felt this surprising sense of relief that I’d witnessed it.

I know… that probably sounds strange.

@dermotkennedy has this line in his song “Lost.” He sings, 
 
“My sense of wonder is just a little tired.”

That’s how I’ve been feeling this fall – 
like my wonder has grown weary.
 
I love that the very next line in the song is this:
 
“But if only you could see yourself in my eyes, 
you’d see you shine, 
you shine.”
 
I saw Dermot perform this song a cappella a month ago. I stood on the floor of a packed venue with tears sliding down my cheeks. Every single person in the room knew the lyrics. For 3 minutes and 45 seconds, there was no “othering” – just us. All of us, together.
 
I wanted to write about that moment, but it felt too small in the grand scheme of things.

Then yesterday, after posting here for the first time in a while, a friend reached out. 

She trusted me with something really tough she’s going through.
 
And I was so grateful she told me 
because if she could see herself in my eyes, 
she’d see she shines, 
she shines. 
 
And I told her so.
 
A few hours later, I saw that tiny rainbow in that clear blue sky, 
and my childlike wonder, the one that had gone dormant, was revived.
 
I heard myself say, wow.

And suddenly, in the grand scheme of things, 
it didn’t feel insignificant at all,
like maybe this pocket-sized rainbow was something 
my friend needed,
we all needed, 
in this tender season of weary wonder.

Let’s keep looking. 

Let’s keep sharing. 

The smallest things hold us together.

My hand in yours,
Rachel 

🌈 What tiny marvels have you witnessed lately? In my Treehouse, I call these stories hope scrolls - as opposed to doom scroll - and they really can lift the human spirit.
“I saw my openness, my trust, my over-kindness n “I saw my openness, my trust, my over-kindness not as gullible or naïve, but as a soft strength worth safeguarding.”

A reader pulled that line from my recent newsletter and said, “This one really got me.”

When I thanked her, she replied,
“I’ve been discussing your essay with my husband all morning. Really timely for me in my healing journey.”

Her words reminded me how many of us move through the world with soft hearts we’ve been taught to doubt, toughen up, or hide.

If that’s you, I want you to know you’re not alone.

On a recent flight, I encountered an elderly gentleman who became a mirror — showing me that my softness was never the mistake. I had simply misunderstood it.

It brings me peace to share the moment that helped me reclaim openness, trust, and kindness as a soft strength worth protecting, especially in a world aching for human connection.

Climb my Treehouse ladder and read the full story.

Comment SOFTHEART & I’ll send you the link directly or click the link in bio or stories.

My hand in yours,
Rachel

🧡 If you’re here, would you leave a heart, so I know? It’s been a while since I posted here. Your presence means more than you’ll ever know.
This poem from my book Soul Shift is personal. I This poem from my book Soul Shift is personal.

I wrote it for my students who were shunned.
For women who came to my workshops and said, “This is the first time I haven’t felt invisible.”
And, of course, for little Rachel—
the girl who often wondered if something was wrong with her.

There wasn’t. 
She was just planted in the wrong place.

I’ll never forget the first time I uprooted…
and found HOME among strangers who felt like family.
That moment changed me—
and it’s why I continue to leave my comfort zone to create circles of connection and belonging.

May you never confuse rejection with unworthiness.
May you keep seeking the conditions where you can thrive.

🌱You are worthy of good soil.

My hand in yours,
Rachel

🍂My final in-person gathering of 2025 is six weeks away… 
This one’s for the givers. 
The ones who make it look easy—until they break down. 
For those who’ve forgotten they are a worthy recipient of their own caregiving. 
I’d love for you to be part of this circle.
✨ Only Love Today: A Restorative Retreat for Givers 
🗓 November 7–9 @artoflivingboone in the Blue Ridge Mountains ⛰️
Comment BELONG if you’d like more details.

Rachel’s Treehouse on Substack

Rachel's Treehouse Cover

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