Three Words for the Critic in Your Head

 someone #hands free mama1

When that little voice says, “You messed up again,”
Remember every tear you ever wiped,
Every knee you ever dusted off,
Every broken heart you ever mended,
Every disaster you ever fixed,
So someone else could be put back together.

When that little voice says, “You lost it again,”
Remember all the times you waited outside the school doors,
waited in the audience,
waited on the sidelines,
waited in the waiting room,
waited in the cold,
So someone else could be found.

When that little voice says, “You can do better,”
Remember all the times you put someone’s needs before your own,
Sacrificed sleep so someone else could rest,
Pushed away hunger so someone else could eat,
Gave everything you ever had,
So someone else could triumph.

When that little voice says, “You are missing out,”
Remember when you juggled a million things so you could be there.
When you smiled through your exhaustion,
When you crawled in the bed at midnight,
When you held a shaking hand,
So someone else could feel unalone.

When that little voice says, “You are ugly,”
Remember all the times you pushed your body beyond its limits.
When you endured the pain,
When you bore the weight,
When you ripped,
When you healed,
When you survived,
So someone else could live.

When that little voice says, “You are a failure,”
Remember all the times you protected,
You advocated,
You prayed,
You offered to lay down your life,
So someone else could be sheltered.

When that little voice says, “You might as well give up,”
Remember all the times you believed,
You encouraged,
You supported,
You rose to your feet and cheered with tears in your eyes,
So someone else could overcome.

When that little voice says, “No one needs you,”
Remember this: Someone does.

Someone counts on you to be there when he wakes up,
When she goes to sleep,
When he is scared,
When she is happy,
When he is sad.

Someone counts on you to be there.

Not perfect.
Not yell-free.
Not toned, fit, and styled.

To be there.

Not always calm.
Not always smiling.
Not always pretty.

To be there.

Trying and sometimes failing, but getting back up and trying again,
Hoping to do a little better than the day before.

So when that little voice says, “It’s not enough.”

Gather all the strength you have in your weary soul and say these three words loud and clear, once and for all:

I am here.
I am here.

Someone is counting on me to be here, and I am.

I am.

And today, that is enough.

someone 2 handsfree mama


My recent post, “The Bully Too Close to Home,” is resonating deeply and has been viewed nearly four million times. In sharing my own painful truths, people have responded by sharing theirs. Through hundreds of comments on the blog post and in personal email messages, many of you have described the cruel things the bully in your head says and the way it spills out, hurting the people you love.

In reading your painful admissions, I was reminded of where I was a few years ago. The phrase I heard in my head several times a day was: “You are a bad mom.” My “Stop Technique” of “Only Love Today” was one way I overcame those negative thoughts. I also began making an effort to notice the positive things I did. Just as I was doing for my daughter, I started looking for the good in myself. I hope today’s post will help you realize all the good that you do each day, even if the only thing you did was show up. Showing up matters to the people who love and count on us.  

Thank you to all who have ordered Hands Free Mama. Through my book, I am able to share exactly how I let go of perfection, distraction, and silenced my inner critic. Thanks to your support, the book was an Amazon #1 Best Seller in three categories last week and the price was lowered to under $10. It brings me great joy to see so many people joining the Hands Free journey to let go of distraction & grasp what matters.

 Many of you requested we add “Only Love Today” in our line of Live Hands Free leather bracelets. I am thrilled to say they are now available in leather and non-leather options. Your support is a tremendous blessing. 

For those needing more extensive help with their inner critic …

I have received hundreds of email messages from people whose inner bullies have lead to some very serious problems within themselves and in their children that I am not equipped to answer. Thankfully, I know someone who is. Sandra Blackard, award-winning author and parenting/life coach has graciously helped me provide answers to many readers in very troubling situations over the past week. Sandra and her colleagues have kindly offered their contact information so people can reach out directly to them about issues they are facing. It is not too late to change, to heal, to try and mend your broken relationships. There is hope. 

If you feel like there should be something you can do to turn things around but you don’t know what it is, feel lost, stuck or overwhelmed, contact:

Sandra & Eva, parenting/life coaching

If you feel hopeless like nothing you do will ever work, or if you or your child are experiencing depression, anxiety, grief, trauma, attention problems, self-inflicted injury, or are simply wishing for healing, contact:

Theresa PhD, licensed psychologist

If you are having suicidal thoughts, call 911 immediately.

In light of the one-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook tragedy and another school shooting in Colorado last Friday, let us continue being real with ourselves and real with each other. Let us keep working on loving ourselves so we can give our children the love & acceptance they need to flourish. Let us keep sharing our imperfections and struggles so our children know it is okay to reach out for help in times of despair.  

I leave you with a powerful reader message written in response to “The Bully Too Close to Home.” Sara has graciously given me permission to share her story and asked that I use her real name. Sara shows that hope & healing are possible right now, today:

“Conviction filled me as I finished reading your article and I made a point to send it on to my husband for him to read. We both made the decision that we wanted to take what you said and apply it to our own children. Although we have said before that we know we need to be better, this time it caused us to take action. 

We sat down the very night of reading your article and began by expressing to our children how sorry we were for times we’ve yelled, screamed, or hurt their feelings by things we said, the way we said them, or the way we handled past situations. We expressed our love for these God-given gifts and asked for their forgiveness of our faults. We then told them we wanted to build a better family and we wanted to be better for them as parents. My daughters cried. My son, who is only five, was glad to hear that we wouldn’t be yelling anymore. We gave them the opportunity to open up to us and tell us of any times they ever felt we hurt them and we did not make it right with them. This was such a healing thing for all of us. I believe we opened up a door of trust and safety with our kids that possibly might not have been there before.

We are going on day three of our new home motto, Building a Better Family. It’s not easy. There are moments I would rather raise my voice than sit and talk through a rough situation. But it is stretching my ability as a parent. It’s helping create in me a patience and a love that I know I have never attempted. I believe my kids feel they have the freedom to now be children in our home, not adults in a child’s body. I know that there will still be times when I may fail them, but I can say that my husband and I are now on a better path of parenting all because we read your article and it moved us to action.” 

Friends, thank you for being a part of The Hands Free Revolution. I’d be grateful if you would share today’s post so others can find hope too.  




  1. 1

    Ashley says

    Wow. I am completely speechless. This reached places in my heart I never knew possible. Beautiful. So amazing and beautiful. You have completely changed my perspective. Thank you!!!

    • 2


      Thank you, Ashley! Your words are truly a gift to me this morning. To know the impact of my writing is very meaningful to me and fuels me to keep sharing the not-so-pretty truths that are part of life.

  2. 3


    I like the positive energy you espouse here. Drawing on our past successes should inspire during our low points. Too often we think of obstacles as mountains that are insurmountable.
    One trick I have when I feel so busy is to recognize that by next week it will all be done (or however much time I have). For that time period, it will be rough but it will pass and things will move forward and be okay.

  3. 6

    Virginia says

    I believe that “Only Love Today” should be a motto for life. If that were taught everywhere, in every single home, every single school, wouldn’t the world be a better place?
    Thank you, Rachel, for once again sharing a beautiful message. For today, I am here. I am here.
    Not having children, I am here for my friends. I am here for my family. I am here for my sister. I am here for my godchildren. I am here for my peers. I am here for my patients and coworkers.
    I am here judgement-free and love-filled. I am here with a helping hand. I am here supporting a friend who was diagnosed yesterday with breast cancer. I am here for my niece, 6 years old and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
    I am here for her mother.
    I am here for her father.
    I am here. Imperfect as I am, giving the best I can.
    Thank you for reminding me that it’s not how well we do it, but how much unconditional love we put into it.

    • 7


      Thank you, Virginia. I thought about you as I wrote this because I knew these words were for everyone, no matter our family situation. You have shared your life with me and showed me how little actions to be ALL THERE and give the gift of ourselves to others takes effort, but the impact is endless. I love hearing your perspective and I often think about it when I write because I have always believed the Hands Free message is an inclusive one; it is for everyone who wants to live a more meaningful & gratitude filled life.

      • 8

        Virginia says

        Thank you from the bottom of my heart, sweet friend! I am so glad to be in this journey with you! And I am so touched that you thought of me writing this! 🙂
        I do believe that the hands free message is for everyone and that’s one of the things that brought me to your site.
        Maybe it’s true what they say… That we are all one.
        With all that’s going on in my life, I am certain that we have a mission (those of us in this “hands free” jouney… To lead by example… To show that it is possible for *anyone* to turn their lives around, letting go of stress and embracing a more positive attitude.
        Thank you for being here!

  4. 9

    Venestina says

    Today Im out of words to express what your writing means to me. At night when Im beyond tired and my daughter asks me to listen to music and dance with her, I remember your words and I take 5 minutes because she doesn’t need more than that to feel appreciated. In the mornings when my daughter doesn’t want to wake up, I cuddle in bed with her and sing a song so she can wake up in a good mood and our day starts smoothly, and I remember what really matters, when my husband is in bed too busy with his phone, I remind him that our bedroom should be a safe place so we all could be really there as a family and have some quality time even if is watching the cartoons. I don’t think you still understand what this journey means to all of us, and how your words are our daily reminder of what really matters and how they make us feel that all I need to do, is be there for the ones I love. With imperfections, in my bad days, every day my family only needs to know that ” I’m here”. Thanks Rachel for sharing your struggles so we can all be better. Blessings to your family during the holidays and always!


  5. 12

    Michelle says

    After reading last week’s blog, I am determined to turn my world around. I started noticing all the good things my kids do and praise them accordingly. I have started trying to lighten up on myself as well. I am always the one telling myself that I’m not a great mom and I could do so much better. I constantly question my judgment on parenting, working full-time, etc. Reading this week’s blog has made me open my eyes a little more. I have come to the realization that I’m not a perfect mom, but I’m perfect for my kids. I’m there when they need me and that’s all that counts. Thank you so much for posting this blog. It’s just what I needed to remind me that I’m not perfect and I don’t need to be!

  6. 14


    As you know, Rachel, I am in your choir. Your words long ago inspired me and kept me from turning to things other than my hands, my soul and my love for inspiration. I am aboard, along with you on your journey to joy. This gives me a unique advantage to see the beauty in your poetry, the singing, rejoicing voice you take as you guide and lead so many of us. The care and tenderness with which you shepherd us is as important as the imperative message you started with.

    Never forget that. Thank God *you* are here…

  7. 15


    Your post today is so simple, straight forward, yet so incredibly deep! I have been short with my youngest (age 11) the past few days (cycle and migraines) and apoligized after each time I talked down to her or responded in an unloving manner. Toward the end of the evening she told me she loved me. Stupid me replied with a “sure about that?” only because I thought how can she say such a thing when I haven’t been at my best for her, cut her off, spoke short with her. She is old enough and smart enough–she was hurt by my response and told me. Again I had to apologize for my behavior. I should know better as my father recently said this to me. (He had been treating me horribly due to the fact that he thought I voted one way (not his way) but didn’t. I had told him he had been cruel to me but I still loved him. His response was “Are you sure about that?” which I thought was very immature and hurt my feelings.) I have to take hold of what I know I am capable of, the abilities God has given me, and do better. My daughter thinks I am a star–I should treat her as if she is the source who makes me shine. Do better, think before speaking, and know I am here–here to be better for myself and my loved ones. Thank you Rachel.

  8. 16


    Thanks for this beautiful post! This is what I needed to hear today:

    When that little voice says, “You are a failure,”
    Remember all the times you protected,
    You advocated,
    You prayed,
    You offered to lay down your life,
    So someone else could be sheltered.

  9. 17


    Sunday while driving down the road on our way home my husband pulled his phone out of his pocket and began messing with. With a gentle reminder to put the phone down, he responded, “I know, I know. Hands free.” He put it away. In fact, he has done much better with this since I forwarded him one of your posts. Thank you for sharing your words of inspiration. Your thoughts on the bully post were so helpful with the book I’m writing. I will say a prayer for you right now for wisdom as so many women turn to you for guidance. It must be overwhelming.

    • 18


      Hi Amy, you gave me a chuckle when you shared your husband’s words. It is so wonderful to be on a united team that can provide support & accountability to each other. When my husband & I decided healthy tech/life boundaries were what we wanted to model for our children together, it became a way of life. I appreciate the prayers and cherish the love and support that I receive from this incredible community.

  10. 19

    Melissa says

    Thank you for this post! I “lost it” last week and at the end of the day I apologized and thanked my two boys for still loving me during my impatient moments. This is a post I will print, it is a great reminder that I am doing my best! May you enjoy your family this Holiday Season and I look forward to another new year of Hands Free Living!
    P.S. Are your bracelets made in USA?
    Keep on writing Rachel, your words heal many hearts, souls and minds!

    • 20


      Thank you, Melissa. I love hearing other people’s stories of struggle, grace, forgiveness, and love. I am grateful to walk beside you on this journey. And yes, the Hands Free bracelets are made in Pennsylvania by a gifted duo that my sister-in-law discovered.

      • 21

        Melissa says

        Thank you! I love, love that you are having your bracelets made in USA!!! This journey is an adventure and I am so grateful to have found you during some of my darkest moments!

  11. 22

    Holly says

    Every week, I open your blog the minute I get it in my email. You are the most talented writer… every week you bring me to tears, in a good way. I always need the words that you have. So thank you, and thank you from all my mama friends that I share your words with! I pray that God continues to bless you and your family, I am sure he is so proud of his daughter 🙂

  12. 23

    Eldyne says

    Thank you for this. I have been trying for so long to turn around my situation and feel that I constantly fail myself and my family. I have considered exiting in the most final way many times. It is encouraging to be reminded that even showing up is better than not showing up. It is something I have always known, which is why I am still trying. But hearing it from someone else makes it more true than what is in my head. I am sure you know what I mean. So thank you for this. Thank you for all your posts, which do encourage me daily, but especially for this particularly simple and affirming one. I don’t know you but you have no idea the lifeline you provide.

  13. 24

    Kristi says

    Thank you for that! I read it with tears because it rang so true. I get so wrapped up in the negative that I forget how much good I do, also.

  14. 25

    Cindy says

    I am almost 64 and I read this blog to be a better grandma. My four, now ages 25-38, have grown up to be successful, caring and loving adults, so I tell myself that I must have done some things right. Yet, my inner voice only taunts me with reminders of all the missteps and failures; the times I chose to meet my needs over theirs, all the times when I was NOT THERE, especially for the youngest. She was born in 1988, I experienced the death of my nine year old in ’89, divorced my husband in ’93 and resumed full-time employment at that time. I struggled to balance my grief, the needs of my patients at work and the need for money, my wish for a social life against the needs/wants of my youngest, last, and much loved daughter. Too many times I chose me over her.
    For any of you reading Rachel’s words who are in the thick of parenting NOW, take your ‘do-overs’ now, while your children are still young and you can turn things around for them and yourself. When I read Rachel’s posts and cry over lost opportunities and poor choices, I will recite the mantra, ‘Only love today’ to silence my inner critic who taunts me with my past failures. I resolve to forgive myself and only pay love forward to my grown children and grandkids. How I wish there had been helpful blogs like this when I was in the midst of parenting my five!

  15. 27



    This is amazing and so powerful. I just wrote something similar to this and my sister in law sent you to me…just beautiful and special reminders you shared. Thank you! <3

  16. 29

    Kate says

    Thank you! I just love your blog. I love how honest you are about the challenges of parenting. This post is just perfect… I never knew that once I became a parent I would constantly feel like I wasn’t doing good enough. Thanks again for all the honesty and encouragement- your posts bring me back to center each week!

  17. 34


    My inner voice is the worst. I remember someone asking me once if I would talk to a close friend the way I talk to myself and the answer is always no. I am loving your book and reading it in doses to help me work through the important stuff. It’s just what I need to refocus as the holidays threaten to make my head spin off.

  18. 35

    Lisa says

    My parents divorced when I was about 8 yrs old. My mum was left with a new house that needed a hell of a lot of work done, working part time while sending 2 kids to private school (because she didn’t want to disrupt our lives more than necessary) and an unreliable, unsupportive ex who didn’t provide any financial support. When I was in my mid 20’s I had a very candid conversation with her, where she broke down and cried and told me how inadequate she felt she had been as a mother. That she couldn’t give us the Christmas gifts we wanted, that some nights we had to snuggle under blankets on the couch because we couldn’t afford to turn on the gas heater. She told me how guilty she felt that we ate chow-mein or spaghetti for most meals because she couldn’t afford to buy a leg of roast lamb, let alone have time to cook it. She told me how bad she felt that, at from the tender age of 10, she sent me off with money and a list to do the family grocery shopping by myself, or to pay the household bills. She told me how, when I became a teenager, she felt horrible that she relied on me to prepare dinner most nights.

    Do you know what I remember? I remember how much fun it was and how much I loved it when we got to snuggle up together on the couch and cuddle under the doona to watch tv. It was intimate, and cosy, and a real way of connecting. I remember feeling heady with responsibility and maturity that I was trusted to do such very important things like shopping and paying bills (and restrained enough to only ever buy the one chocolate bar that was my treat for doing so!). I remember when we finished painting the inside of the house, how proud I was that I had helped. I remember for years the best thing about birthdays was not presents, but that we would stay home from school or work and play hooky and hang out. I do not ever remember being cold, or hungry, or feeling unloved. I do not ever remember my mum snapping at me or being short (though given what she was going through, I”m sure that happened, and I’m sure I tested her patience enough to deserve it!) And now, looking back with an understanding of what it’s like to have your heart broken and life turned upside down, knowing how much pressure and stress she was under as she tried to redefine herself – I think she is the most amazing, strong, resilient and incredible woman. I take it as a massive compliment when people tell me I am like her.

    The point I’m trying to make is that your perception of things as they are happening, and your kids memories of them are two very, very different things. As adults, your babies won’t recall falling over and breaking their wrist and think “it’s because mum wasn’t watching me” – they’ll remember mum cuddling and comforting them. As adults, your teenagers won’t remember the spats about homework vs social time – they’ll remember you holding them and stroking their hair as they sob over their first heartache. As adults, your kids won’t look back on their childhood and nit-pick or criticise every “mistake” you made – they’ll remember the wonderful parts, recognize how much time and effort you put into it, and be grateful for it 🙂

  19. 36

    Sue LeBreton says

    Sometimes simply being there, in a conscious way is the best that we can offer anyone. I remember having challenging times when my daughter was ill and I remember those who “showed up”, those who opened themselves to believing “I am here”.

  20. 37

    dailyn says

    I believe there are no accidents ~ things happen for a reason.
    I’ve been struggling with my 18 year old daughter for a while now. Been in a funk myself, overwhelmed, unmotivated — spending too much time online.
    I guess I was searching for these words.
    Thank you. I need to hear them.

  21. 38

    Abby says

    The poem above is extraordinary. Every mother will understand everything about it. I know it well, Ilived it for the past 28 years of motherhood. You were able to wrap up in a poem, my life. Beautiful soul that you are…thank you for sharing so much with your readers, we are better because of it.

  22. 40



    This is such an inspiring reminder for parents of all they do. As Lisa said, this is your children’s perspective, and what they will remember, and why it’s easy for them to love you. Being there and being real is what really matters. Congratulations on another beautifully written post and thank you for the referral!

  23. 41

    Penny says

    I don’t have children but I am taking care of my 92 year old mom and hubby with Parkinson’s and so much of this post resonated for me. Thank you!

    • 42


      Bless you, Penny! I am so grateful to know you found meaning in my words. Thank you for being someone your mom and husband can count on. What an important role you play to someone who is counting on you.

  24. 43

    Charissa says

    Thank you so much for these beautiful words! I can’t tell you how well-timed they are for me right now… This is a post I will save so I can read your encouraging words when I need them again. And I know I will!

  25. 44


    This post actually pulled a sob from me. It’s so easy to beat myself down about what I feel isn’t up to par, the reminder of what I have done – and what I successfully do was like a salve to my heart today.

    Last night I wandered through Barnes and Noble and asked the clerk to help me find your book. I didn’t realize it wasn’t out yet. She looked at me through her gorgeous young face, clearly enjoying her first pregnancy and said, “Hands Free Mama – about putting down your phone…” and looked at me with a smidge of judginess. I wanted to sneer, “Just wait. Just wait till you see how many directions you get pulled in while you try to raise, grow and shepherd your precious family through life.” My next impulse was to jump in and give way too much information about the demands of twins, blah blah blah. Instead, I smiled and preordered it. I can’t wait to read it.

  26. 46


    Thank you, Rachel … this just SPOKE to me … to so many of us, it seems.

    Sometimes, we look in the mirror and see only negatives. We see every mistake, every time we didn’t take courage. We see so many ways that we could improve, but we can’t see how far we’ve come. We can’t see how much we have to offer now, in this moment.

    It reminds me of a time when Leo, my L’Arche friend and former housemate, told me that my temperament was all smiles (direct quote). He said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. When he said it, I was a veritable storm cloud of frustration and control, and Leo was telling me that I was ….sunshine.

    He wasn’t judging me based on my insecurities and fears. He was looking at me and seeing my best self: all smiles. He reminded me who I really am: a song of joy. (Fun fact: that’s actually what the name Caroline means!) His comment changed my attitude for the rest of the day … for the rest of my life, really.

    I am so thankful to him (and you!!) for holding up a different, kinder mirror for me. Merry Christmas!!

  27. 47

    Erica says

    I stumbled across your blog from an article in Good Housekeeping….let go of being perfect. I am racing it from the hospital room of the pediatric cancer ward. I am here with my son who has been fighting leukemia for almost 1 year. We still have 2 more years of treatment to go! My husband and i have a set of 4 year old twins and run a business together, as we take care of a 7 year old cancer patient. To say that I am exhausted and overextended is an understatement! This past year has taught me to let go and let God, but there is still a certain amount of responsibility that is non negotiable when raising a family. I love your tips about keeping cool. I eat every meal standing( if I eat at all). I also love looking in your child’s eye’s before you yell. It makes you focus on them and their feelings rather than reacting to all that is going through your mind. I’m guilty dope seeing their needs as a distraction. Thank you for your honesty and wisdom! I needed this today!!!!!!

    • 48

      Erica says

      Wow typos!! I also loved 3 words for the critic in your head. A good reminder for a mom who gives herself to her family!!

  28. 49


    A friend and I took our daughters to the Nutcracker the other evening and as they slept in the back of the car on the way home, I opened up to her about how I’ve been struggling with feeling so critical about myself and my perfectionism, and taking that out on my husband and children. We talked about the poem I just wrote on my blog ( where I offered myself a backhanded apology and made a statement about not wanting to beat myself up anymore and be so self critical of EVERYTHING and every parenting and personal decision I make. She told me about YOUR blog post “Bully too close to home” and fwd’d it to me the next day.

    I read it with tears streaming down my face. I could have written those words. I have thought them over and over again. And now, this poem you’ve written… I SO needed to hear it. From one writer to another, I cannot thank you enough for your public honesty and vulnerability. I know all too well how very brave and scary it is to put yourself out there like that. THANK YOU. Your words are making a difference in strangers’ lives. Your words are powerful weapons of positive change. Your words have meaning beyond the keystrokes that gave birth to them. THANK YOU.

  29. 50


    I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard that little voice, telling me that I have not done enough for my kids, or that it’s too late to fix the damage I’ve caused.

    The whole peaceful parenting thing is still new to me and now that I am more aware of my parenting than ever, I can see the detrimental effects on my children of my old authoritarian parenting techniques.

    This post helped me to realize that even though I have made mistakes, I have always been there for my children. I have always loved them, even though that love was mis-expressed and misguided.

    Thank you so much!
    Daniel Wagner.

  30. 51


    Thank you so much for lifting us up. So often I find myself saying so many of these things to myself and to know that I am not alone is a gift like you can’t imagine. Each article of yours stays with me in every part of my life. You inspire so many people including myself to get up dust ourselves off and not worry about trying to be perfect. You show us all it’s okay to just be. Thank you!

  31. 53

    Tiffany Strand says

    I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this. I shared it with my group of twin and multiple moms because sometimes we get discouraged trying to juggle everything. It brought myself and many others to tears. It was validation we greatly needed. So beautiful and encouraging. Thank you!-♡Tiffany

  32. 56

    Tanya Offerdahl says

    I love that you will be making more bracelets! I love the one I have right now, wear it everyday. My daughter asked if that is my reminder to not yell bracelet. I have tried many things around the house- post its, pictures and the girls all know what they are for. I empower them to help remind me even in my worst moments they are allowed (and encouraged by me in my better moments) to remind me to use a soft voice. I try to show them everyday I keep trying and keep working to be a better mom.
    This week we have been watching home movies and I told my husband it is hard to see myself in those movies because I can see the stress of trying to juggle two babies by myself (my husband is out of town most of the week) and work full time. I realize back then my priorities were sheer survival and I lost a lot of moments. I don’t remember my babies , the videos are my only clue to having had such little beings. But I know I can change each day and I am grateful because your words have helped me change, everyday to be a better mom, wife, friend, daughter.
    I am so eternally grateful for your words. You are changing the world in so many ways.
    Only Love Today…I am now working on that voice in my head.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do!

  33. 57

    casie says

    I have read this article a few times & it resonates so deeply in my soul! But I am struggling to determine exactly was love only today truly means? Can you help explain it more? Thank you!

    • 58


      Thanks, Casie. “Love Only Today” was what I said to myself when my inner critic began beating me up for things not being “good enough” (my appearance, my house, my parenting skills, my achievements, etc.) I would cut off my inner bully by saying “ONLY LOVE Today” meaning today I will speak words of kindness ONLY and not words of hate and shame.

  34. 60

    Kathy says

    Id love to start receiving your words of all the wisdom, hope, love, strength, fear & faithfulness in all things good/bad & in between just everyday living just trying to make it through one day at a time.

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    Paula says

    Beautiful poem with reminders for all parents. I can see myself in all of this, though my son is now in his 40’s with two sons of his own. They are so, so special to me, but I do not feel welcome in their lives. I was separated then divorced beginning when my son was only 14. I was lucky enough to have great bosses who understood how much it meant to me to be there in the audience, on the sidelines whenever he was in a performance or sporting event. Now he and my grandsons come here maybe 4-5 times a year and we go out to eat, but I am lucky to be invited to their house 2-3 times a year. He no longer talks to me about what is going on in their lives (not even my grandsons) and I don’t feel welcome when I do get to go to their house. My son’s wife completely ignores me when I am there and between the two of them – to quote my Mama – “I feel so unnecessary!” They never call and when I call they are two busy to talk or I get their voice mail and their response to me is by a text message. Yes, “I am here”, but he does not care and I don’t know what to do. His in-laws are not treated that way and get to do things with them that I have never been asked to do. I think that is what hurts me the most.

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    Hi Rachel, I’m from Veracruz, Mexico. I love reading, writing’ve shared some of yours on my site, but I wish they were in Spanish, that is why I am writing to ask your permission to translate and share them with your signature and the link to your page.
    I also believe that love, walk slow and be present in the lives of our children is the most beautiful thing we can do as moms. I am a psychologist, mother of three young boys, and between the values ​​that I promote is not perfection, accept our weaknesses and be brave enough to be vulnerable, if the example (which is the hardest) we can make our children to live lives freer and happier with themselves and the world around them.
    I send you a hug, thanks for your attention, and inspiration!
    Sheila Ricalde.
    mom Kaleidoscope

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      Hi Sheila, thank you for the important work you do and thank you for your willingness to share my messages! I would be honored if you translate them to Spanish. Thank you for asking me! With love & gratitude. PS My book (HANDS FREE MAMA) is currently being translated to Spanish as well.


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