I could say I was sleep deprived—two young children who weren’t sleeping through the night.
I could say I was under a lot of stress—just moved to a new city, husband traveling, feeling isolated and depressed.
I could say my children were not in the car with me … and I was just making a quick call.
I could say those things, but they don’t matter—they don’t matter when you find yourself blowing through a red light and the grill of a truck comes within a few feet of your car door.
My hands shook for a good twenty minutes after coming through the near miss completely unscathed. In my rattled state, I felt the urge to reprimand myself for being so careless with my precious life—but I didn’t. Instead, I made excuses. But excuses for such reckless behavior come out sounding pathetic, hallow, and downright ludicrous. So I didn’t tell anyone … and acted like it never happened.
I’d like to say that incident changed me.
And it did … for about a week. For a week, I didn’t touch my phone while driving, but the urge to call and chat and check were strong. So I went back to making excuses.
It’ll just be a second.
The traffic isn’t bad.
I’ll just check at a stoplight.
I’m good at multi-tasking.
The kids aren’t with me.
This call is important.
This message can’t wait.
And for two years after the red light incident, I continued my distracted ways. When I think about the number of times I put my life, my children’s lives, and other drivers' lives at risk for the sake of a meaningless call or message, I feel physically ill.
But one glorious day, while out for a run, I was overcome with regret, sorrow, and clarity. I vowed to stop making excuses as to why I was missing my life – and risking my life – for my distractions.
Within hours of that life-changing run, I took one of the first steps toward living free from distraction’s powerful grip. I turned off the notifications on my phone and put it in a drawer. No longer would I be controlled by the sound of notifications, beeps, and dings. No longer would my attention on the living beings in my home be suddenly dropped because of the summons from a little black box.
The immediate peace in my house was not only noticeable, it was freeing and empowering. Suddenly I was the one in charge of my thoughts, my attention, and my actions—not my phone.
I knew what I must do the next time I got in the car.
My phone was put on silent while I drove. And to help control any sudden urges to check the screen, I put the phone in my purse and placed it on the floorboard of the passenger seat where it could not be reached.
Immediately the atmosphere in the car changed. With one flip of the ‘off’ button, I was available to the little girls sitting in the backseat of the car. The fact that they noticed and responded to my newfound availability was evident. It became clear that my children had missed their mother chatting with them, pointing to things as we drove, and asking them questions about their day. With the phone turned off and out of reach, I was back in the driver’s seat of life … literally and figuratively.
It’s been several years since I made changes in the way I drive. Although I am far from perfect, my children know I make a conscious daily effort to avoid phone use while driving. I find it ironic that I always kept my phone turned on and nearby because I thought I would miss something “important.” I was actually missing what was most important by being tied to my phone while driving. Drive time has become a safe haven from outside distractions—a place where my children open up and talk to me. That is what is most important now.
I must admit, there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about her—that tired, stressed out, overwhelmed woman who ran a red light and almost lost her life. If I could talk to her today, I would tell her what I know now that I didn’t know then …
Don’t look away,
There’s too much ahead of you.
Don’t look away,
There’s nothing on that screen that can’t wait.
Don’t look away,
No call is worth your life.
Don’t look away,
What matters in life cannot be repaired or replaced.
Don’t look away,
Life should come to a stop at a red light, but not an end.
And then I would tell her that if she needed validation for putting away the phone, it would eventually come.
A year after she stops driving distracted, she is sitting at a stop light next to her neighborhood grocery store. Her older daughter looks over at the cemetery next to the traffic light. Although they’d passed it many times, this is the first time she speaks about it. Gazing out the window at the gravestones protruding from the ground, her astute child says, “I bet 95 percent of those people died from texting and driving.”
And after a heart-stopping pause, the little girl says, “I am glad you don’t do that anymore, Mama.”
That’s when she looks up at that red light and counts her blessings, starting with the precious cargo in backseat—two children who are learning how to navigate life by watching her live.
***************************************
Update 7/24/15: My friends, I published this story two years ago, but the message is as relevant now as it was then. In fact, there is a gut-wrenching AT&T ad making rounds about the fatal results of a mom’s glance at social media while driving. I must warn you, the video causes quite an emotional reaction. I know many people who have vowed to change their ways after viewing it. But I fear that within a week or two, many will go back to their old ways. But here is a tip: I have discovered a simple question that instantly dissuades me from engaging with my phone while driving. When tempted to look at the screen for any reason, I touch my Live Hands Free bracelet and say, “Would I want my child to do this while driving?” Because what she sees me doing now is likely what she will do in the future. The answer to that question always slaps me in the face and reminds me to pull over to use the phone or wait until I reach my destination.
* For visual reminders to Live Hands Free, please check out the leather bracelets, non-leather reminder bands, and key chains. My book, HANDS FREE MAMA, chronicles every step and strategy I used to overcome my distracted ways. My soon-to-be-released book, HANDS FREE LIFE, offers a deeper, more lasting transformation that speaks to a wider circle: parents, nonparents, men, women, singles, teachers–anyone searching for meaning and breathing room in our chaotic, distraction-addicted world. You can get a free download of HANDS FREE MAMA when you pre-order HANDS FREE LIFE from now until September 7. Details here.
Thank you for being part of this incredibly supportive Hands Free Revolution community. We are a group of like-minded people seeking to let go of distraction, perfection, societal pressure to grasp what matters most! Thank you for lifting me up this week as I endured my final kidney surgery. Your loving support & encouraging messages this week have blessed me immeasurably.
Thank you so much for this post. Your honesty is so powerful and just what I needed.
Thank you for the supportive words, Brooke. I am grateful.
Thank you for the reminder! I had been doing well in this area but just recently, I was beginning to find myself making excuses for using the phone in my car with priceless cargo in a toddler seat…. Insanity.
Thank you, Linda. I am grateful you are joining me on this important endeavor to drive as safely as possible!
I needed to read this one today, Rachel. Thank for sharing this story and for emphasizing not only the danger to our safety that constant attention to our phones creates but also the danger to our relationships.
I appreciate your kind words, Mandy. Thank you.
I also had stopped texting and taking calls while driving. But, started again…a horrible habit. Thank you for sharing your story. My phone is going into my purse and on the floorboard.
I am so glad my post inspired you to put the phone out of reach, Jenn. That means so much to me.
I am sure you have no idea how many people you empower with your writing. I am one. I live a life that by anyone’s measure is crazy. I work long hours so my husband can stay how with our girls. I fly off for at least one night nearly every week. Out of personal survival, I have tought my children that mommy will “try” but that mommy rarely “promises”. I won’t tell you (nor do I think you would ask me to) that I regret my life. I don’t. I love my job and love that my kids have their dad at home with them. However, I will tell you that before I started reading your blog I wasn’t present with my children during the precious time that I had with them. You have given me permission to do that. I thought about it this weekend when my 6 and 8 year-old daughters came inside excited to show me a dragon fly. They wanted to share it with me becuase they know I love dragon flies. I was in the middle of doing something and almost said no, mommy is too busy to come outside right now. But then I heard a voice in the back of my head. Your voice. Your blog. So I stepped outside and in those 60 seconds, was able to build a connection, a memory and a moment. One I know matters more than whatever I was doing inside. Thank you for sharing your story. For reminding the rest of us that it is okay to pause. It is okay to give our children those moments. To build those memories that connect us to them for a lifetime.
You have brought me to tears–the happiest kind of tears … like when you know that by sharing your story you have helped someone else. Your message is exactly why I write and publish things that are not always easy to publish. I am truly grateful you took the time to tell me you are here walking along side me in this life-changing journey. I am incredibly grateful for you, Sarah.
Thanks for being vulnerable & sharing this story again. For me you nailed it when you said that “you were afraid you’d miss something important” when the important tiny people in our lives are what is being missed. Great reminder for me today.
Thank you so much, Theresa. I really appreciate your kind words.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love your blogs. Also guilty of phone use. Seems it’s the only time I get to make calls is in the car but SO NOT WORTH IT.
Thank you! It is a terrible urge, to take out the phone and “record” an image, rather than just living it. So little trust we place on ourselves, and in a machine! Even if I shortly won’t remember the exact look on my son’s face watching fireworks last week, it is in my soul, and that energy is in the universe. I almost missed it fumbling for my phone to take a picture and am thankful I didn’t.
Wow what will power you have! To just put your foot down and successfully stop all at once. It is hard for me; many failed attempts here 🙁 Hoping to keep trying and maybe I just am a slower paced person not so cold turkey?
“No longer would my attention on the living beings in my home be suddenly dropped because of the summons from a little black box.” Thank you so very much for inspiring me to detox from my computer addiction. For a few years now I haven’t had a smart phone, thinking it would save me from distraction and also save money …but I admit I have substituted the obsession with my laptop at home. All the while I am worried I may miss some important email, what I am truly missing are 2 little people sitting on the floor a few feet away, glancing up occasionally with hopeful eyes while they entertain themselves. This time with my babies will soon be gone and it brings tears of regret to my eyes knowing I have wasted even one second with them on a machine. I am going to change – and I thank you again for your words of true wisdom.
I am grateful my words have impacted you and inspired you to make changes, Shana. It is amazing what even small changes to put away the distraction can do for our ability to connect to our loved ones. Email me anytime you need encouragement, my friend.
Thank you for this post. I make a conscious effort each time I’m in the car to be sure my phone is put away and to make sure if anyone is awaiting a call or text that it is sent before I leave my home. And it’s because of stories like this. It takes just a moment to change lives forever. It’s disheartening to see so many others distracted by phones with their children in the car even when they aren’t. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share. Your words alone make an almost daily difference in my home.
Thank you for this. I needed to hear this, for I am guilty too. My four year old uses the phrase “keep your eyes on me and don’t look at anything else” when she wants to show me something or asks me to put down the phone. In the car I am guilty of stop light email checking. Not anymore. I will put the phone in my zipped up purse, on silent, in the passenger floor board and pay more attention to what really matters. Thanks for this. Your life-changing moment is changing lives.
That is so powerful, Susanne. I appreciate your honesty and for letting me know that my story has made a difference in your life. It really means everything to me.
Amen and Amen! You have truly touched my heart….I am so ashamed to admit I signed Oprah’s pledge and every time I pick up the phone I feel the Holy Spirit whispering…actually yelling “put it down!!!” THANK YOU FOR BEING REAL.
I’m working on this! I’ve been TERRIBLE at it. In large part due to my hour each way commute alone.
But a few days ago, I had a vision of careening off the road with my kids in the car, and it scared me. As of today, I quit using my phone in the car. It was hard. It was good. Thanks for the encouragement to continue.
Thank you for the support, Anita. I am so grateful you are joining me in this endeavor to use safe driving practices and communicate with our precious ones!
All of your post is so spot on. But the last line, to me, is the most important. I am amazed when my young adult daughters make intelligent, responsible choices and I can see that many times they do what they do because we taught them by example without even realizing it. If you are kind to others, they will be, if you focus on being there for your children, they will do the same some day. If you work hard, they will believe that doing so is how it should be. And so on. Your children pick up your values, good and bad. It’s a huge responsibility raising children. Sometimes it goes bad in spite of all you do. Sometimes stuff happens out of your control. But you’ve got to give it your best shot.
Thank you, Margaret. What a powerful perspective you share about how our children model our actions. I appreciate how you also point out that despite all our efforts, sometimes things may not turn out as we hope. I worked with many parents of children with behavior disorders who beat themselves up over things that were beyond their control. But I love what you said in the end: “But you’ve got to give it your best shot.” I show up each day and try. Thanks for taking time to leave such a thoughtful comment.
Thank you, thank you! I too have driven and talked on the phone and after reading your blog I think “Nothing was that important !”
The phones are both a blessing and a curse. I think I will take a page from your book and shut mine off whenever I am in the car. And put it in the back seat too! Thank you so much for sharing!
This means so much to me, Linda. It is such a gift to know that my message inspired you to take action with your phone. I am grateful.
Thanks for this wonderful post. I am so happy I found your blog….you are such an inspiring writer and I love all you blog about…real life, situations, and life in general. I will make sure my family all check out your blog. It is so refreshing to read your posts and know there are many of us out there that have the same stories to tell and can relate to you. Thanks again.
Thank you, Lee. I am so happy you found me too. I adore my readers and cherish every kind word left in this space for me to read and re-read. Your words touch my heart.
This is an incredible post that is applicable to us all. Even though I feel strongly about not using my phone while driving, I struggle with checking it at stoplights. Thank you for sharing what I know is difficult to share because it’s made me want to change for the better!
Thank you, Jen. I really appreciate the support and encouraging words you have given me today. I also loved visiting your blog. What a gift to find your beautiful post about The Warm Fuzzy Jars. Through the beautiful images, I could see you have an artistic and magical touch.
Great, honest post. We all do things like this and it is so powerful when we learn from them. The car is such a great place to connect with children. Luckily I live in a place where there is a distracted driving law in effect so I was never tempted.
Thank you for words of assurance today, Sue. I appreciate it so much.
Rachel,
Your powerful words continue to remind us what’s important in our journey in life. Your “Don’t look away” messages are so important and it’s my prayer all your readers will grasp these important reminders and pass them along to all their friends and family. You’re a blessing as always!!!!
I appreciate you so much, Lloyd! I love when I see there is a comment from you. I just know it’s going to lift me up! Thank you for blessing me!
I love your posts! I’m so guilty of giving the attention to the cyber world over anything else in my life! I find multiple excuses on why NOT to delete my FB but I have cut down and spend way more time with my kids. I finally put my phone in the trunk of my car, check it when we stop and I’m out of the car, and then I leave it IN the trunk just to keep me more focused on my kids. I have found they do notice and enjoy their mom much better (I’ve even thought of getting an older flip phone with no texting etc. just to keep me OFF of it). I really enjoy your posts!
Thank you, Wendy. You are making GREAT changes in your life to be present and safe. I appreciate you sharing the action steps you have taken and want to take. I am grateful to share this journey with you.
I am SO glad you posted this, and that people are reading and responding. I work for an auto insurance company handling the medical claims for people invovled in accidents, and I can’t tell you how many are causing by people phoning/texting while driving And as your wise daughter noted, they do sometimes end in fatalities. This in itself is horrible, but even more upsetting is that it’s often the person in the OTHER vehicle (the one struck by the vehicle driven by the person phoning/texting while driving) who passes away. There are so many fabulous reasons to end phoning/texting and other distractions while driving (eating, applying makeup, picking up something that fell to the passengerside floor, etc.) and I’m thankful you’ve started a discussion about it. Please keep up the wonderful posts!
Thank you so much for contributing to the discussion with such valuable and undeniable insight about distracted driving. You made a great point about how tragic it would be to be the texting driver that injures (or kills) someone in another vehicle. You have given us all a reason to take pause and really think about our driving habits. I so appreciate your thoughtful comment and support, Erin.
Thank you for your honesty. I used to be guilty of all these things too. Always too busy with unimportant stuff to pay attention to what really matters.
Then 3 weeks ago the unimaginable happened and we lost our brand new baby boy, brother to our gorgeous daughter. Through the intense pain and grief I am also counting that beautiful blessing in my life, my wonderful girl who is growing up way too quickly.
So please everyone, hold them close. Don’t wait for something to happen before you learn to enjoy every moment with your loved ones.
I write about “letting go of distraction to grasp what really matters” here on my site and occasionally everything I try to write about is left in a comment box. I thank you from the depths of my heart for reminding us all WHAT TRULY MATTERS in life. I hope you can feel the love coming your way tonight from me. I am so grateful for you, dear one.
Yeah!
Thank you for writing this.
I’m thrilled you are getting such a great response.
Car crashes are the #1 cause of death to young people! That means kids and most crashes are preventable.
Speeding, tailgaiting, talking on our phones so much can be changed to save lives.
Sounds like you are making an impact.
Great article and I as always, enjoy your site.
Thank you so much! I greatly appreciate the support coming from you! Your site is a WEALTH of knowledge and information. I totally commend you for the beautiful work you do for the world and our children. THANK YOU!
Thank you for such powerful words. Your blog posts impact me and my parenting in so many ways. I tend to check my phone because it’s how I keep in touch my close friends. While I don’t have much time so see them face to face due to being at home with the kids, I feel close to them when I hear from them via text or email. Checking my phone is a form of escape – the adult contact is nice 🙂 Thank you again.
Thank you for sharing your own experiences, Lisa. I definitely think the adult contact is a must! For me, just being mindful of when I am reaching out to my friends and family helps tremendously. I am so glad you are here.
Truely a most important message for everyone! I think we should all keep our land lines for conversations and our cells for emergency purposes only. How much safer our roads would be and how much closer our families would be. We would have to talk to each other in the car and when we go out! Family would be first- not who is calling us on the phone. Thank you for allowing me to say that.
Love this idea, Deb. Your idea would make our roads so much safer!
Thanks for sharing your story. I used to use my phone a little when driving, until a guy almost hit me while he was chatting away on his phone. I don’t think he even noticed. It was very scary. Gratefully, I realized that my behavior was at times just as bad.
I actually just got rid of my cell phone plan and just use an unlocked one on my wifi. No way I can check it while driving now!
Thank you for sharing your own experience that inspired you to change your ways. Kudos to you for getting rid of your cell phone plan to really control your phone usage. You’re inspiring!
Your daughter’s comment – “I’m glad you don’t do that anymore, Mama”- reminds me that, 25 years ago, I would BEG my mom to wear her seat belt (“Click it or ticket” didn’t exist back then); children ALWAYS seem to know what’s right…whether there is a law attached to it or not. But, I think YOU are exactly right – we need to pay more attention to our children…both in the car AND out.
Yes, Beth. I agree that we can learn so much from our children when we listen to their thoughts and wisdom! Thank you for taking the time to offer your support.
Glad you have seen the light but just an observation… you kept saying how you risked “your” life and the life of “your” children…. howe about “my” life and the lives of “my loved ones? This is a daily (3-4 times daily) occurence out here in Utah. I count myself lucky when it only occurs once or twice a day. I see people weaving down the highway at 75 — reading, putting on makeup, texting, reaching behind the seat or down on the floor next to them. I hope more people read this blog and wake up.
You are so right, Tom. Thank you for pointing that out.
RE: The epiphany of the girls in the back seat. Listen to the Stellas here. I get moist eyes every time. It helps to keep focus – on my two granddaughters now.
Oh Jean, this is simply beautiful! It brought tears to my eyes too. Thank you for this gift!
I am new to your blog, but love your insight and courage and yes, there are way too many looking down….
As a 53 year old mother of a 12 year old daughter, my one and only, I am so old school and just recently bought us, for the first time, cell phones. I didn’t really ‘want’ to, but circumstances for summer break demanded it. Personally, I just never got it, the need to have one in my possession. I adore my freedom, I don’t need to be connected that way and I only use the phone to be connected to her, only her.
My daughter and I have a very tight relationship and I hope that by my showing her that it’s ok to not be so available to others all the time, that she learns its ok to be quiet, to be alone.
Thank you.
Thank you for this well written ‘slap in the face’ wake up call. I really needed it. Thank you once again.
Don’t look away,
or you’ll miss your chance to help lead the rest of us to a healthier lifestyle filled with better, safer choices!
Thank you for sharing this. And please, always remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve that.
Thank you, Rob. I really needed that encouraging reminder today. Thank you for taking the time.
As always, freshly motivated by your blog. You have inspired me to be off my computer significantly over the months and I have taken all social media/news off my phone to avoid the distraction. Fortunately I do not text while driving, but that decision came mostly because of my inability to even turn my head and talk without swerving! However, I do talk on the phone in the car as I have viewed it as my “catch up time” since I rarely talk on the phone at home. Your entry has caused me to reevaluate that with/without my children in the car. [I made a “phone date” today with my BFF while driving to a location 30 minutes away; no time the rest of the week!]
However, I don’t know how to turn off the phone during the day as my husband and my 3 teens use texting as their main communication while away from home (sometime when at home!). My phone seems to bling regularly. When I don’t answer, my husband will call my kids (or the kids will text each other)…”ask mom to pick up her phone.” When I run errands they text me all the time, “what can we eat? can we play xbox? when will you be home?” Some nights when I look at my text inbox I am shocked how many I get. And about 95% from my family. Any ideas for balance?
I so appreciate your blog…I am a home school mom that has missed way too much distracted…by all the cares of this life.
P.S. I miss your entry about The Run Day… I used to read it frequently, just to refresh my resolve;) Hugs <3
Hi Tonya, thank you so much for taking the time to let me know how my messages have inspired change in life. That means a great deal to me. It was also hard for me to give up that “catch up” time with friends and family, but during long drives by myself I have quite enjoyed listening to music and just thinking about things I don’t normally have time to think about.
You have brought up a great question. First, I would explain to your family what your goal is (something like, I don’t want to be continually summoned by my phone. It is impacting my well-being and ability to focus on any one thing for an extended period … or whatever your thoughts are on this.) You could tell them that you will check your messages at certain times during the day but otherwise your phone is turned off. If it is an emergency, they can call you. The iPhone has a great “do not disturb” feature which silences your phone so that your phone no longer beeps or lights up when you get a message or notification. However, if anyone from your “favorites” list calls, the phone will ring. Here is all the information on that. http://arstechnica.com/apple/2012/09/how-to-make-the-best-of-ios-6s-do-not-disturb-feature/
When my children are in school, I gave the school’s number a designated ringtone so I could silence all notifications and ignore all other calls. We still have a home phone so if I am at home, I know if there is a true emergency from my husband or children, they will call the home phone.
I also have found that people have gotten used to the fact that I do not respond immediately to text messages. I check my phone twice a day. Yes, I miss texts, but so far, I haven’t missed anything that couldn’t wait. I found that I had to set the boundaries and when I was responding right away to texts, I seemed to get more because people expected it. Setting one’s own boundaries is required if we don’t want technology to invade our lives. Thanks so much for asking and for being on this journey with me. I wish you luck.
Hope these ideas help!
Rachel
I just turned off all notifications from Facebook. One small step at a time.
Oh yes, Amy! You are so right … I wouldn’t be where I am today on this Hands Free journey if it weren’t for every single small step I took to loosen the grip of distraction on my life. Small steps on this journey make HUGE impacts on our relationships and our well-being. I am celebrating your small (BIG) step today. Thank you for being here.
A reminder that we all need! I am guilty of the stop light texting. And it doesn’t matter if it waits till I arrive at my destination. What matters is that I ARRIVE AT MY DESTINATION.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. Everyone on the road needs to hear this, especially me 🙂
While I am not a proficient texter, I don’t use the phone in the car…..I’m easily distracted! I have, however, stopped & turned off my phone when dining out with my husband…actually just dining out period! I don’t allow cell phones to be answered at my dinner table, texting or otherwise. I like to think that those I invite to my table appreciate this as we are able to actually converse & have a good time of fellowship. I try so hard to explain to my grandchildren the dangers of paying too much attention to their cell phones while driving, most of the time to no avail. I am forwarding your blog to both of my granddaughters in hopes your message gets across to them. Thank you so much for your candid & heartwarming words.
I’m not sure if someone else has posted something similar, but I will just in case:) I am now a follower of Brene Brown. If you haven’t heard of her look her up and her books are worth every penny and reading regularly. She says when we tell our story “shame” is silenced. “Shame” only gains power when we hold it in. Thank you for telling your story. It gives you and the rest of us the power to do the same. I appreciate you posts. They are always so spot on to my life. Thank you!
Thank you for this post for so many reasons. This post made me think about the example I want to be for my girls. Although they are young, how can I prohibit their teenage selves from using the phone while driving when they have grown up watching me casually pick up the phone and make calls as I drive across town.
I just found your website and am really enjoying it so much! Love reading the blog for daily inspiration … I only have one child but find that I am just sucked in to many things that are not important and the good life is passing me by. The texting and emailing check at stoplights will now be done. Thank you for sharing your story to spark change in others.
But mostly, keep doing what you’re doing on this blog because you are helping so many of us! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
I am so glad to know that my writings are helping you grasp what matters in life, Diane. I feel fortunate to share this journey with so many like-minded, kind, and wonderful people.
Thank you for this post. I just went through my iPhone and turned off basically all of my notifications, especially my Facebook and e-mail. I can still manually check them but not seeing that little red number will help me not check it compulsively. I too am guilty of using my phone way too much while driving, even with the voice in the back of my bead telling me to stop for so many reasons. I plan to put it in my purse out is reach to help stop that. I love reading your posts because it serves as a reminder to me to focus on what is really important.
Sorry for the errors. Guess I should have reread it before posting. ;p
I’m curious – is phone use while driving legal across the US? Here in the UK it’s illegal to use a mobile in the driver’s seat unless parked up. Which doesn’t mean no-one does it, of course, but it helps…
Do you own a cell phone now? I am curious, because I have an iphone, but is such a huge distraction. I mean does a full time mom really need one? I often use it as a tool to distract myself from mom time, but so often i desire less facebook (considering deleting my account), but also would love an old fashioned cell phone just for emergencies and the occasional text if needed. I use it mostly for pandora at the gym anyways which i can get on my nook!
Thank you so much for sharing your innermost thoughts with your readers. I just stumbled upon your blog this morning and have just been nonstop reading since. I too am guilty of doing all of the following while driving/sitting at traffic lights: making phone calls, texting, checking email, checking FB and Instagram with and without my kids who are 13 and 11 and will be driving soon. As I read this post I realized that I have become addicted to this technology. I have put my life and my children’s lives at risk for what??? It all can wait. Phone is being turned off before I enter the car from now on. It can wait. It can all wait.
Thank you, Rachel. Your posts are spot on!
At times it feels like you are reading from my mind. I have the same thoughts but cannot put it so well.
I love your writing style so much!
Your posts remind me of a poem by William Davies I read in my school days. Sharing it with you:
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/leisure/
Keep writing!
Oh wow. That poem is beautiful … and chilling. William Davies puts it so well. Thank you for sharing that with me. And thank you for the kind words about my writing style. That gives me quite a lift today, Niti!
Besides the purse technique, I’ve also heard the suggestion to put the phone in the glove compartment. Have I done that yet, no. But because of you, today I will.
Darn phones – it is easy to become addicted – I hear that Rachel. I check mine way more often than I should but not while driving. I do find email overly distracting. It’s as if I’m always waiting or hoping for something amazing to come through and if I don’t check right away, I’ll miss it. Uggh. I need to put it away. Good reminder here.
Rachel, thank you for this post and the link to the ATT ad. My new car puts phone calls and text messages through the radio, which is still a distraction. I would like to get my kids to put away their phones when I am driving but have been unsuccessful in enforcing this “rule.” Do you have any suggestions? I feel like a hired driver when my children are on their phones in the car. Thanks for all your posts. I am looking forward to your new book.
It’s probably a dreadful reason but I made the same decision after I was fined for checking my phone at a red light. The fine was massive and really made me reflect on how dangerous my behaviour was.
It is quite freeing to have a time where I literally won’t respond or check my phone. I now see it as being akin to drink driving. I haven’t gone as far as to have the phone on silent incase I miss the alert of an important call about the kids but will literally stop right off the road if I need to check a message or return a call.
This has prompted me to think about a time at home where I don’t check either. First thing in the morning would be a good one as I’m often late because I’ve spent too long catching up online then shouting at the kids to hurry up.
Thank you words that need to be pasted on and on
Hmm. Definitely, using your cell phone while driving is a bad plan. It is also now illegal in most places.
But getting distracted by your kids while driving is also unwise. So I’m not sure the message should be, put down your cellphone in the car and pay attention to your kids instead!
I don’t even own a smartphone, but my kids are in rear-facing car seats in the back, so we don’t do a lot of chatting in the car.
Thank you so much for this, Rachel. I shared! I needed this reminder, and I’m guessing many do.