* On September 22, I posted a passage on The Hands Free Revolution page illustrating how ‘Choosing Love' as a first response might play out in a typical day. The concept deeply resonated with many people. I've added it to this post and decided now was the perfect time to bring back this transformative 21-day challenge. Let love start this day. Let love end this day. Let love transform the minutes in between …
I never know where interviews are going to take me – but I can almost always be sure they will take me back—back in time. And although most days I try my best to look forward, sometimes it’s enlightening to reflect back and see something I can only see with time. This is my story, as well as a challenge, should you choose to accept.
It was this, the second to last question during my interview on Better Worldians Radio that stirred something inside me: “With the success of your book and popularity of your website I imagine you could be busier than ever. How do you keep the balance and keep living Hands Free?” asked Gregory, one of the show’s hosts.
I briefly described several strategies I used when I began my journey that are still in practice today. Wanting to place emphasis on what I feel is the most important one, practicing daily distraction-free rituals, I shared this story …
The night before the Hands Free Mama manuscript was due to my publisher I was working furiously to meet my deadline. My parents had come from Florida to help me any way they could.
It was around 8:30 p.m. and I was bent over the keyboard surrounded by empty soda cans, crumpled papers, and used sticky notes.
I felt my mom gently touch my arm. She’d just come from my older daughter’s bedroom. “Natalie requested her nightly Talk Time, Rachel,” she whispered softly.
Without hesitation, I got up from my work and headed straight toward Natalie’s room.
Suddenly my mom called out after me, neither of us knowing that what she was about to say would become one of my greatest Hands Free motivators. “I tried to tell Natalie that you had a lot of work to do tonight but she adamantly said, ‘Grandma, Mama always comes.”
Mama always comes.
I stopped midway up the stairs in an effort to wrap both my brain and hands around those sacred words and accept them as mine.
It hadn’t always been that way, you see. But somewhere along my Hands Free journey, I'd become someone my child could count on to come to her bedside each night to talk—no matter what.
As my radio interview began to wrap up, I was amazed that out of all the things the host could reiterate from our hour-long discussion, he chose this:
“I think these three words are words we all want to hear sometime in our life, even just once: ‘Mama always comes.’”
Hearing the interviewer say those words made me feel just like I did when my mom spoke them that very first time. I was crying now. I desperately hoped the show’s listeners could not sense that I’d become a blubbering mess. With tears dripping down my face, I realized something I could only know now looking back in retrospect:
I could have easily kept working the night my daughter asked for Talk Time, but I didn’t.
Why? Why did I not explain that I was under a tight deadline and it would all be over the next day? Why did I not mention that my author advance and reputation were riding on a punctual submission? Why did I not quickly run upstairs and give Natalie a kiss and promise we’d have Talk Time in the morning?
Of all the times I could have said, “Not tonight,” I didn’t. Why?
Because I chose love.
Just like I did the night before … and the night before that … and the night before that … and the many nights before that.
I chose love that night just like I did on the very first day of my journey when I had no idea how to transform my distracted, joyless, maxed-out life into one of meaningful connection and peace. I wasn’t sure of anything that initial day of my journey except that love was the right choice. Love could never be the wrong choice.
But here’s the most critical element, the piece that made this choice a doable, repeatable action that stuck:
Sometimes I showed up to love without a smile.
Sometimes I showed up to love feeling ugly, worthless, and inadequate.
Sometimes I showed up to love alone and scared.
Sometimes I showed up to love when I didn’t know what I was doing.
Sometimes I showed up to love when it was the last thing I wanted to do.
Sometimes I showed up to love even though I had so much to do before the day’s end.
Sometimes I showed up to love when my patience was gone.
Sometimes I showed up to love when I had no love to give.
Despite the obstacles … despite the excuses I could’ve made … despite the pressures and distractions of the outside world … despite the mean voice of my inner critic, I continually showed up to love.
Why?
Because I never left the same way I arrived.
I always walked away a little lighter … a little more at peace … a little more hopeful … a little more grateful … a little more joyful. Love was always the right choice. I never once regretted choosing love over all else.
So I showed up to love again
And again
And again
And again
Until one day I was known as ‘The One Who Always Comes’ to a little girl whose opinion mattered more than the world.
Making it a habitual practice to choose love changed my inner fiber, the wiring of my brain, and my entire life perspective regarding what was important. Thus, I’ve come to believe there is one single action that has the power to transform negativity to positivity … distraction to presence … disconnection to connection: Choosing love—choosing love as much as you humanly can.
On any given day, there’s probably 101 things running through your mind—from what you need to do … to what you should do … to what you didn’t do … to what you wish you would’ve done. I know because this was me. It was exhausting. I felt like I was failing a lot. Now I try to go with one action over and over and over. This singular action helps me focus on what matters and let go of what doesn’t. It helps me make better choices and move on when I don’t.
Every minute of every day, I try to CHOOSE LOVE—two transformative words that become ingrained with repetition. Let me show you how CHOOSING LOVE could play out in a typical day:
1. Wake up. Mind starts racing. So much to do. So tired. Instead of reaching for the phone or grumbling about all there is to do, think: CHOOSE LOVE.
It might sound like this: Today is a new day. I am thankful I have been given this gift. My goal is to get out of bed and greet myself and my family with love. Love is how I will start this day.
2. Child not getting ready. Frustration rises. Instead of threatening or yelling, think: CHOOSE LOVE.
It might sound like this: How can I help? Let’s set a timer. How quickly do you think you can do clothes, shoes, backpack? Okay, let’s do it. On your mark, get set, GO!
3. Traffic is horrendous. You are going to be late. The whole day is going to be off. Instead of cursing, reaching for the phone, or making a dangerous U-turn, think: CHOOSE LOVE.
It might sound like this: I have just been given uninterrupted time. I will take this time to breathe. I will ask my child to sing me a song. I will listen to that voice and know it won’t always sound like this. I will take this moment of frustration and turn it into gratitude.
4. Arrive at destination only to be met with criticism, judgment, or rudeness. Instead of taking it personally, wasting your precious energy, or saying something you’ll later regret, think: CHOOSE LOVE.
It might sound like this: Their negative response is not about me. It is about them. I refuse to let their toxicity contaminate my day, my job, or my life. I will smile and let it go.
5. Perform your duty/assignment, and it is not as good as you’d like. Instead of berating yourself or trying to make it perfect, think: CHOOSE LOVE.
It might look like this: I have spent ample time and energy on this project. It is good enough for today. My effort is enough to make a positive contribution and that is what matters.
6. Evening packed with sports, meetings, dinner, and homework. Instead of bemoaning your chaotic, crazy life, think: CHOOSE LOVE.
It might look like this: Sometimes it is hard to be here. Tonight is one of those nights. But I am needed. Tonight I will focus on the smile I receive when my loved one spots me on the sidelines. Tonight I will focus on the sound of contentment I hear when my loved one digs into the meal I prepared. Tonight I will focus on the goodnight kiss that is offered to me. I am needed. I am loved. I am here.
7. Fall into bed. Mind starts racing. Instead of reviewing mistakes, failings, and what you didn’t accomplish today, think: CHOOSE LOVE.
Think of all the times you chose love today. And even if it was only once, celebrate it. In the midst of chaos, inconvenience, frustration, and crabby people, you chose love. With the millions of other choices you could’ve made, you chose love. Love is how this day will end.
My friends, consider the possibilities for a moment: What might result if love becomes your default choice for 21 straight days? What opportunities might open up? What connections might be repaired? What moments might you grasp that otherwise might be missed? Who might you become?
Instead of
The One Who’s Always Too Busy
The One Who Overreacts
The One Who Never Listens
The One Who Rarely Slows Down
The One Who Always Looks Miserable
The One Glued to the Phone
The One Missing All the Fun
The One Who’s Given Up
You might just become The One You Always Wanted to Be …
A Listener
A Hugger
A Forgiver
A Take Your Timer
A Belly Laugher
A Risk Taker
A Silly Grinner
A Moment Grasper
A Liver of Life
Why? Because good things start with love.
Just show up to love today.
Don’t worry about what you look like or what yesterday looked like.
Just show up to love.
Something tells me you’ll walk away a little better than when you arrived.
Then do it again.
*****************************
Friends of the Hands Free Revolution, although I did this challenge back in February, I feel now's the time to do it again. I am excited about the renewed connection & peace this challenge will bring to our lives over the next 21 days. If you are joining me, I’d be grateful if you’d you leave the words, “I Choose Love” in the comment section and share this challenge with someone else. Let’s see what transformations can happen in our relationships, our life’s work, and in our own hearts if we commit to choosing love as often as we can for the next 21 days.
As a powerful visual reminder, the I CHOOSE LOVE bracelets are reduced by $5 until Monday, September 28th. They are available in aqua green & pink. I CHOOSE LOVE also comes in a vibrant blue non-leather reminder band.
For more Hands Free Life Daily Declarations like the one below, check out my new book, HANDS FREE LIFE , a #1 Amazon bestseller in Inspiration for 3 straight weeks. I will be doing a Hands Free Life Q&A with Andrea Nair & signing books at Chapters at Square One Mall, 189 Rathburn Road, Mississauga at 7pm on September 30, 2015. Hope to see many of my Canadian friends there!
“Today I will choose love.
Tomorrow I will choose love.
And the day after that, I will choose love.
If I mistakenly choose distraction, perfection, or negativity over love, I will not wallow in regret. I will choose love next. I will choose love until it becomes my first response … my gut instinct … my natural reaction. I will choose love until it becomes who I am.”
-Rachel Macy Stafford
I choose LOVE
I choose love
i choose LOVE!
I am a big gift giver. Not of big gifts … just gifts. Your blog is a gift to me and hits home every time I read it. I just purchased 3 of your bracelets — one for me and 2 for others. I will print this great message and pass it along with the bracelets. Thank you for being the eye opener that you are and helping us all to be better moms, the greatest job out there!
I choose love
“I Choose Love”. See you in 21 days. Thanks.
I choose love!
I choose love.
I choose love!!!
I choose love! ❤️
I choose love.
“I choose Love!” Excited to see what happens.
I. Choose. Love!
I choose love.
such good stuff here. Thank you for the reminder that I don’t have to be open and free and happy to show up. Rather, I need to show up in order to get happy and free and open.
I choose LOVE.
Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to your nightly ritual, as my youngest has a song he requests every night. There are nights where I’m knee deep in a project but I go anyway, and am always do grateful to be by his side once I do. If I have to be away from home, my husband plays his song that I recorded on his phone. I’m in for the 21 day challenge, and your challenge lines up perfectly with another by New Tech City about bringing back boredom. It uses an app called Moments to track your cell phone usage and help you get an objective look at your habits. Check it out! In the meantime, I better put down this phone!
I choose love. ❤️
I choose love
I Choose Love
Thank you for your blog. I’m so glad I came across it…it’s exactly what I’ve been needing to read. Keep up the great work! Going to do my very best to choose love 🙂
I choose love
I choose love!
I choose love!
i choose love!!
I choose love!
Lately it came to me how egocentric I am for not loving myself, others and everything else. I am here because nature/God/how you want to call it, has so much trust in me and wants me to be here, and loves me so much. Who am I to think I am not all of that? Who am I to think others, the world, situations, nature, is not all of that?
I choose LOVE! Starting now, with my nearly 2 year old sitting in my lap, helping herself to my cereal.
I choose love
I choose love!!
I choose love!
I choose love***
I choose love!
I choose love!
I’m committed to choose love for 21 days
Thank you for this vital nudge. I have been wrestling with distraction for too long. I will take this 21 days to reconnect, read your book I’ve started and ultimately choose love. I’m so glad I saw this today.
I choose love
I choose love!
I chose love
I. Choose. Love.
I choose love!
I choose Love.
I choose love ❤
I choose love! Thanks!
I choose love.
I choose love!!! <3
I choose love.
I choose love
I feel like finding your blog, reading these words, has given voice to my own feelings and beliefs, my own challenges and heartaches on this parenting journey.
It’s funny, the day before I found your site, I thought about, actually considered tattooing a heart on my wrist, so that when in a rage I could look at my body and be visually reminded to choose love. Currently I wear a bracelet my six year old daughter bought me from the school fair, a black cord with a golden heart. I wear it daily as a reminder… And when I saw your beautiful bracelets I thought, of course, how perfect.
Choose love, for 21 days, and longer. I will.
Thank you for understanding and believing in change.
I choose love!
I choose LOVE.
<3
I CHOOSE LOVE!
I choose Love!
I choose love!
Thank you for the constant reminders to be present and the gift of hope.
I choose Love.
I Choose Love!
I choose love! Thank you for your inspiration! I am a therapist and my coworkers and I started a challenge ourselves last week to not say anything negative out loud. In just a few days we all noticed a shift in our attitudes at home and at work. This fits right along with our challenge and I love the idea of choosing love for myself, my family, my coworkers, and my clients!
I choose love.
I choose love. (Do you have a bracelet for that, yet?) =D
I choose love
I choose love
i choose love♥️
I choose love
I choose love
I choose love
Letting aside my desire for perfection and efficiency, I choose love. Thank you, Rachel!
i choose love.
Thank you for this post. It is just what I need to make it throught the next 21 days. I needed a way to focus on what is most important in a very chaotic and unsettling time of my life. I think this is one of the answers…
Me too, Betsy, me too. This could to have come at a more difficult or opportune time! However, hard it seems it might be I Choose Love.
I choose love.
I CHOOSE LOVE!
Jenny, I choose love too!
I choose love!
i choose LOVE!
I choose love!!
I choose Love!!
I choose love!
I choose love
i choose love!
I choose love! Thank you!
I choose love!
I choose love!
I choose LOVE !!
I choose LOVE!
I choose love.
I’m in! I choose love!
I choose love
I choose love!
I Choose Love
I choose love!
I choose Love!
I choose love
I choose LOVE!! ❤️
I choose Love!
I choose love
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I choose LOVE!!❤️
I chose love
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i choose love. thank you for this.
i choose love. thank you for this.
I Choose Love
I chose LOVE!
Children are so precious. I have never been with a child who didn’t make me feel better after being with him/her! Each day and each moment are a treasure with children!
I choose love!
I choose LOVE! Thank you Rachel, as always, for these powerful and transformational reminders 🙂
What a beautiful challenge! I love concrete end dates- 21 days seems so doable. I accept the challenge!
I choose love!
I choose love. Thanks for this. I have no children but I do have my chronically ill mother living with me. I am her caregiver now. I need this reminder to choose love when I am overwhelmed and tired and when whatever I do is criticized by her. I choose love because she did it for me my whole life. I choose love rather than impatience; I choose love rather than nursing hurt over her comments; I choose love rather than anger or sharp words. I choose love rather than despair.
Help! how do you show that you choose love rather than despair or hurt? I feel so downtrodden by my girls always ignoring me, saying No, or just plain screaming at the top of my their lungs when I tell them no. How do you show love in those moments of criticism? I want and am trying to choose love, I just don’t feel loved during this time of constant arguing and am sinking under that feeling….
Oh, I can soooo relate to this Liz and I’m sure there’s others that can too. I have those moments as well. I only have one to deal with and that’s difficult enough! Reading Rachel’s posts has really helped me just slow down and think differently and I also use the pause before I respond too … I’ve been finding that when these episodes happen, they last for a lot less time when I remain calm and don’t show any stress. And then afterwards, I sit and talk to my 3.5 year old daughter. It’s not easy is it? I’d love to hear Rachel’s response to this as I’ve been wanting to ask the question too. Good luck Liz!!!
Liz,
Rachel has invited me to respond to her readers requesting parent coaching. The pause Brigitte mentioned is a great place to start, and you may be able to use it to turn around your painful moments with your children sooner than you think.
But for now, a pause may not be enough. If what you are experiencing from your children feels like criticism, remaining quiet with a pause may just make the weight of their criticism and defiance feel even heavier. It could also give your mind time to bring up old self-critical thoughts like “you are not loved.” Something else has to happen first.
The thing that has to happen is for you to find a new way to see your children’s behavior that doesn’t trigger your hot buttons of “criticism” and “feeling unloved.” No trigger, no reaction, so a loving response becomes possible.
That’s the work of personal growth that is behind all of Rachel’s progress. The “magic” was in changing the way she saw her children’s behavior. Like Rachel, once you do that, you can use the pause to remind yourself that their behavior does not mean what you used to think. That will deactivate your hot buttons and allow you to choose love.
An important place to start is by realizing NONE of your children’s behavior is about you. It is about them trying to communicate something to you – what they feel, think, want and/or need.
When you step into your children’s shoes, you may be amazed to learn that they feel criticized, too, and are lashing out as a defensive reaction, not as a criticism of you. Directions, corrections and boundaries can all feel like criticism to children if the first step of understanding the child’s point of view is skipped. So them ignoring you, their no’s and their screams are their way of trying to make their point that whatever it is that they feel, think, want or need is important! Again, not about you.
When you understand their point first, their hot buttons get deactivated and their need to defend stops. That’s the moment of connection that is missing when you try to make your point first. The truth is that children can’t listen to you until you listen to them. That’s just how it works.
I help parents and teachers change how they see children and teach three simple steps for creating connection, cooperation and confidence in my little book SAY WHAT YOU SEE (SWYS). Rachel recommends it to readers frequently. You can read it online free from a PC or MAC here:
http://www.languageoflistening.com/resources/read-swys-book
Here’s the difference in how it sounds:
Old way: “I told you to get your shoes on. It’s time to go! Did you hear me? Get up and get over here right now! We’re going to be late!”
New way: “It’s time to go. Looks like you are deep into your game. Oh dear! I forgot to give you a reminder. I know it’s hard to just stop just like that. You really love to complete things. It’s hard to be interrupted…and that’s how it has to be this time. Hmmm, must be something you can do to make sure to get to finish your game. I know it is really important to you…” Solutions can range snapping a photo to make sure pieces don’t get disturbed if it’s an action figure or building block game and “bringing it with you” in the car by talking about the story that was being played out, bringing it along if it is a portable or tablet game, or whatever solution your child works out as long as it works for you.
The point is that connecting first and understanding the importance of your child’s interests puts you on your child’s side. Hopefully you can feel in even in this little example.
The feeling of being on the same side is what creates the loving connections Rachel describes. When you can see the world from the child’s point of view first, the despair and hurt you’ve been feeling no longer come up. They are simply replaced by love and connection. You don’t choose the feeling, you create it by changing how you see your children and pausing time and again to remember to see them with loving eyes.
An added bonus is that by changing how you see your children, you also end up changing how you see yourself, which is what is needed to change your own self-critical thoughts. I am so glad you have found Rachel. She is on the same journey, just a few important, inspiring steps ahead.
Thank you, Sandy. This is so helpful and insightful. I read and read some of your sentences over many times. You really have a way of explaining children’s behavior that inspires more listening, more compassion, and more empathy. I am grateful for your contributions to this blog.
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting (http://smile.amazon.com/Peaceful-Parent-Happy-Kids-Connecting/dp/0399160280/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1443358218&sr=8-1&keywords=Peaceful+Parent%2C+Happy+Kids%3A+How+to+Stop+Yelling+and+Start+Connecting) by Dr. Laura Markham is the best parenting book I’ve ever read and might be helpful for you. Dr. Markham’s free e-mail tips are also awesome: Go to http://www.ahaparenting.com (which also has tons of great parenting tips!), scroll way down to the bottom, select “3X/Week,” enter your info, and then click “Submit.” Dr. Markham also has a new book out called Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life (http://smile.amazon.com/Peaceful-Parent-Happy-Siblings-Fighting/dp/0399168451/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1443358365&sr=8-1&keywords=Peaceful+Parent%2C+Happy+siblings).
I choose love.
Can it truly be that simple? I believe it can.
I’ve seen such a difference in myself, in my parenting over the last few weeks. Still far from perfect, but every day closer to where I want to be for my children.
I choose love.
i choose love! <3
I CHOOSE LOVE!!!!!
I CHOOSE love!
It IS a choice! One we have to make daily, hourly, and some days even minute-by-minute!
I choose love. Old habits die hard – thank you for your thoughtful reminders.
I choose love!
I choose love!
I choose LOVE!!
I choose love …
I choose love.
I choose LOVE!
I Choose Love!!!
I choose love!
I choose love! xx
I am choosing love!
I choose love!!!
There is no doubt in my mind you were called for this- to inspire others to grasp what really matters. You show it by example. You share. You open up my eyes, and you are spreading so much good. I Choose Love, every day. That is how I want to live.
On a side note, I remember feeling like I needed to balance my time and prioritize what matters most. I was always so conflicted. I prayed and prayed. Day by day receiving a light, and being guided to the right people, scriptures, and moments that were teaching me what matters most. During that time I stumbled upon your blog by chance. It was not a coincidence. You reassured me what I felt I needed to do. Motherhood looks different now. Thank you. I now share it with all.
Krysta
Grateful for this loving encouragement that feels divinely delivered today. I am truly touched by your words, your faithfulness, as well as the many “I choose love” that are filling the spaces of this blog and confirming that the next 21 days are going to be so, so good. Thank you so much for encouraging me today.
I Choose Love
I choose love!
i choose love!
I choose Love! ❤️
I choose love!
I choose Love
I choose love.
I choose love
I’m in! I choose love.
I Choose Love! With Ash Wednesday and lent fast approaching, this couldn’t have come at a better time. Over the years i’ve adopted my own lenten tradition instead of the traditional “giving something up”, i’ve chosen to instead do things and change things to make myself better for my family and to encourage a better, healthier and more loving family attmosphere. This is a perfect addition and i’m excited to be joining you on this 21 day challange.
I choose love
First day of my 2 girls at their new school in a new country, a few challenges coming up, but I choose love today and forever.
I choose love.
This blog hit me hard! Looking for change in all the right ways. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for the challenge. I’m all in!
I just started reading your book, and I really believe it was gift from above–thank you for writing the message.
I choose love.
I choose love xxx
I Choose Love!
I choose love.
I choose love
Challenge Accepted!
Well timed to read this post today, and I completely agree that choosing love makes your soul a little happier, a little brighter, a little lighter.
Yesterday was not a good day in our house. There was much friction between myself and my 4yo after she threw a tantrum in public when it was time to leave the bounce house. After that, she spent hours being difficult at home. When bedtime rolled around, I felt like I needed a break from the drama of the day and our bedtime routine, and was all set to have her dad put her to bed, but she wanted me instead, and so I relented.
I immediately felt better and all the hardship of the day melted away, after just a few minutes of snuggle time and singing lullabies. I’m glad I made the choice to carry on with our normal routine. It brought joy and peace that I would not have had otherwise.
I choose LOVE.
Perfect timing for this. I sat down this morning for the first time in more than two years and started writing again. It fits perfectly with this challenge.
Walking in the garage door, there is shit everywhere. Evidence of an unfinished (but so close to being done—just need GOO GONE!) weekend project: a drywall screw, picture hangers, a bag of trash. At least $200 in items that need to be returned at at least four stores are tucked near the entrance to the laundry room where another load of dirty clothes needs to begin its way through the wash cycle. I barely make it up the stairs before noticing a dirty diaper, my two year old’s wet pajamas (god ,I need to change her sheets before tonight!), at least three pairs of my pre-teen’s shoes, and piles of clothes (are they clean or dirty?). Unopened mail clutters the console table at the entryway, along with a wall shelf that may or may not look right or work well to contain the crap that comes in the front door (spare change anyone?).
Upstairs is no better. Half deflated birthday balloons, a sink full of dirty dishes, leftover crumbs from making the kids’ lunches the night before. A stack of opened bills stares at me—along with a citation from a vindictive parking officer that I need to (and FOR SURE WILL!) follow up on in order to fight it. And sitting on the kitchen counter near the overripe bananas is a random conglomeration of items: granite cleaner, purple streamers, happy birthday ribbon, a mason jar filled with jolly ranchers, an IKEA vase with yellow popsicle sticks, a Christmas gift called Edible Chemistry, a glass with the words “Wine is Cheaper than Therapy.” It’s fitting that the latter object is stacked higher than the rest—like it’s the mantra that may lead my day.
It’s my own fault that I am exhausted. Of course my toddler woke up at 4:30am with a wet diaper, but I’m the one that stayed up until midnight watching The Affair and obsessing over finding a specific local fitness class. But, those three hours after the kids go to sleep and my husband passes out represent time when I can do whatever I want, stay online as long as I want, and feed my random compulsive obsessions. No, that’s not true. That’s bullshit. I have the time during the week to do that. And how do I really spend my time? That’s another journal entry.
Seriously—I’ve had enough of feeling bitter, drained, shackled, and afraid. It’s time I come up for air.
So, starting today, and for the next 21 days, “I choose love.”
I have two beautiful daughters who adore me and need my presence. I have a husband who has sacrificed everything to make me happy and needs my presence. I have authentic girlfriends who love me not for the driven, independent, and outspoken mom that others see. They respect that part of me, but also know too well my vulnerable, impatient, sensitive, and melancholy side. That’s the part they really appreciate and what makes our friendships honest and true. They need my presence as well.
I choose love. And just like that, the phone rings, and I’ve been invited to lunch. My instant response was: “Gosh, I have a million things to do today.” But, then, I said, “Yes, I can make that work. See you at noon.”
Day One: I chose love.
Thank you.
I choose love.
I choose Love!
I choose love!
Your words are so inspirational!
I choose love
I choose LOVE! 🙂
I choose love. Thanks, Rachel, for the support and inspiration:)
I Choose Love
I choose LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Love is all you need.
I choose love!
I choose love.
I choose love!
I choose love!!!!! Thank you for the tools and resources too! Good reminders to continue to practice!
I choose love! Thank you, Rachel.
I choose love! What a precious, touching inspiration to love better! Thank you!
I Choose Love.
Thank you.
God Bless.
i choose love
And you never know when the last time will be. My daughter (who is now 30) always had to have a book read to her and a tuck in time. On very rare occasions her father could do it but usually it was me. This went on well into jr. high…not so much the reading but the tucking in continued. Sadly I don’t remember when “the last night” of tucking in occurred. But that time will come. And I now don’t regret hearing that sweet voice that called to me, “Mom, you forgot to tuck me in.” or “Mom, I’m ready for you to tuck me in!). Precious moments. Cherish them.
I CHOOSE LOVE !
I choose love. Thanks for inspiring us all!
I choose love!!! Thank you 🙂
I choose love!
I choose LOVE! Thanks for ALL your words, as I hungrily read them as fast as you send them. I am reading Hands Free Mama now and hope to transform my life, the way you did yours.
I Choose Love!
Thank you Rachel. Another tear jerking fabulous post.
I will choose love until it becomes who I am. – That struck hard.
I choose love.
I choose LOVE!
I choose love!!!
I too choose Love!!!
I choose LOVE!
I choose <3
I choose love ♥
Thank you. I have ordered a p.i.a. pouch–not cheap but I know it will be worth it. I choose love!
I choose love! Thank you so much Rachel and good luck for the next 21 days. 🙂
I choose love
I choose love.
My two little girls need to know they are listened to:)
I choose love! To put down the phone, the iPad, the Kindle and listen and play and love on my people.
I also choose love!
I choose love.
❤️I CHOOSE LOVE!!❤️ Thank you so much for your inspiration to be a hands free, loving mama!!
I chose love!
I choose love. This morning in a rush to get to work, I didn’t do a good job of this with my kids. I will choose love next time.
Rachel-
I love reading your handsfreemama blog!
I just started a 14-day, Mission Possible: Spread Love and Kindness on one of my blogs.
My whole family is playing along and we are learning to connect with each other as well as strangers.
Here is the link if you want to check it out:
You are invited to play…Mission Possible: Spread L
Thank you for the reminder to put love first. My youngest has the sweetest, most caring heart of any child I know, and to hear her say to me “Mommy….I like when you smile” really speaks to my heart because she is so honest. It also hurts because she doesn’t see it enough. I need to refocus my priorities, and I thank you for this reminder. I have other so many other “challenges” going on in my life right now- trying to lose weight (again….), cleaner eating, and establishing a budget for the first time in my life, but this.. LOVE….this is something I need to bump to the top of my priority list. Thank you for always touching my heart.
I choose Love
I choose love! Thank you for the wisdom and encouragement to do the things I know I need to do to become a better wife and mom!
I CHOOSE LOVE!
I choose love.
I just love all that you are Rachel! Soaking your words up like a sponge and making my world the one I want to live in. Thank you – I choose love forever and always! xo
I choose love
I choose love!!
I choose love 🙂
I choose LOVE!!!
I, too, choose love. Thank you for the encouragement and exhortation!
I choose love all the way from New Zealand!
I chose ❤️ love!
I choose love
I choose love
I choose love.
I choose love!!
I choose love.
Thank you for the reminder that it IS a choice. I beat myself up over the fact that love isn’t always my first response, especially toward the people I love most (and toward myself). It seems like it should be a natural response and when it isn’t, I’m quick to find fault with myself. It’s so reassuring to see so many people who admit that it doesn’t always come naturally or easily and who need to practice and make a conscious effort. Thank you.
I CHOOSE LOVE! Passing it on…
I choose love. ❤️
I have ONLY LOVE TODAY written on my gratitude journal, love this challenge. I choose LOVE, today and everyday. You are so inspiring 😉
I Choose Love
I choose love!
… and thank you for inspiring me more times than I can mention x
I choose love! I’ve been going through a very personal, difficult time in my life. This ‘challenge’ is exactly what I need to help myself heal and continue on this amazing journey that is life. I have a feeling my incredible husband and three amazing daughters are in for a real treat. Can’t wait to start!!
I choose love
I TOTALLY choose love!
I C L, 21x with you, now and forever for our children.
I choose LOVE
I hope to complain less and love more, be less critical of myself, not shut down, interact more with my husband, and overall be more loving to my loved ones. They are my reason for living.
I Choose Love
Thank you for this. I choose love. I did a crappy job of it this morning, lost my cool and yelled. My daughter is in an “I hate school” phase, and is dragging her feet so much in the mornings that we are just barely making it on time. But I’m pretty sure my yelling at her didn’t make her move any faster, and it surely didn’t make her day any better. I messed up, and I owe her a hug and an apology. So tonight, tomorrow, and onward…I choose love!
I choose love
I choose Love!
I choose LOVE!
I choose love. Thank you for this challenge!
I accept the challenge and I choose love. My 3 kids need me more than anything and I’m to busy in my rushed life to give them the attention that they need.
I choose love
I choose LOVE!!!!
I choose love.
I choose LOVE
I choose love.
I choose love. Thank you for the wonderful idea and a new way of approaching life. Paying that during these 21 days of choosing love that it might inspire someone else to choose love as well.
I choose love….
I choose love
My son, Jesse Lewis, left a message on our kitchen chalkboard shortly before he was killed at Sandy Hook Elementary. He wrote, “Nurturing Healing Love”. These three words are not in the vernacular of a 6 year old, were phonetically spelled because he was in 1st grade and just learning to write, but those three words are in the definition of compassion across all cultures. When you define each word they make up the formula for Choosing Love: Loving kindness and gratitude + Forgiveness + Compassion in action = Choosing Love. I CHOOSE LOVE! It has helped heal me after the loss of my son and I now realize it’s the most important thing in the world and the reason we are here. -Scarlett
I am celebrating Jesse right now this very moment, Scarlett … I am celebrating the fact that he lives on through one of the most beautiful, impactful messages I have ever read. “Nurturing Healing Love.” I will recite those 3 words over and over the next 21 days as I choose love, and I pray they become part of who I am touch every single person I come in contact with. The world needs Nurturing Healing Love and I am honored to help produce it. We all can! You have inspired me more than I can ever express. Sending much love, peace, and gratitude to you tonight, dear one.
I choose love.
I choose LOVE.
Sometimes I have a terrible time choosing love over yelling, especially with my 3 year old. He doesn’t seem to listen to any request I make be it the first time or the millionth I’ve said it. Finally when I shout I get compliance but only because he is startled. I feel awful almost every day and I am trying to be gentler. I am going to try and choose love this month. Tips, tricks, support are welcome!! Thank you for your blog. I enjoy every post!
Leah, I have a list of strategies that I used to choose a more peaceful response with my family that I am happy to share with you or anyone who would like it. Here’s my email: rachelstafford@handsfreemama.com. Starting tomorrow, I will be severely limiting my time online, but I will get you the list in time. I love that you courageously and honestly wrote this comment and made this wonderful commitment. There is hope!
I am do excited to join this challenge! I will choose love, and if I forget I will choose to love myself and keep going.
When your mom repeated your daughter’s words, “Mama always comes,” it made me smile. It’s so nice that she counts on you like that. I’m sure to know her parent is there for her provides both great comfort and a sense of security. I can understand why it made you emotional. I bet you the listeners would have as well.
I choose love! Wonderful piece. xoxo
I choose love!
I choose love!
I CHOOSE LOVE!
I choose love!
I choose love!!
I Choose Love… THANK YOU!!
I choose “love”!
I choose love today and everyday!
I choose love.
I choose love
i choose LOVE
A wise friend once told me
Situation-Self= Love
It’s so simple yet acting on it is life-altering!!!
Love your message here and your heart!
Karen
PS:::I CHOOSE love!!!
What a beautiful equation! A warm hug to your wise friend.
I choose love!
I choose LOVE!
I choose L O V E
I choose LOVE xx Thank you again for your words and inspiration Rachael. They impact on so many lives in such an important way.
I choose Love
I choose love! Thanks for the dose of reality and encouragement!
I choose LOVE
I choose love for me and my family.
I choose love!!!!!
Thank you Rachel for inspiring this ah-mazing journey! Your one lovely lady!!!! 😉
I choose love!
I choose love
I choose love
I choose love!
I choose love.
I choose LOVE!
First opportunity came just seconds after reading this post, and it felt so wonderful!
I’m going to journal all the “I choose love” moments each day.
It’s interesting how one might accent the statement. It’s powerful no matter how you put it.
I choose love.
i CHOOSE love.
i choose LOVE.
I Choose Love
I choose love
I choose LOVE…❤️❤️❤️
I choose love
I Choose Love……
Thank you, Rachel
I choose love
I choose love.
…as hard as it will be in some moments, I want to try. I am off now to write “I choose love” on a few note cards and leave them around the house in prominent positions to help jog my memory. Thank you for the challenge.
I choose love. For myself. For my beautiful girl. For my family.
I chose love.
I choose love…
I choose love
Thank you for your continued encouragement, again, and again!
I choose LOVE!!!
I choose love.
i choose love
I choose love.
I choose love
I choose love!
I choose love. Love that is not begrudging, but grateful. Love that does not waste, but appreciates. Thank you for reminding that my family, friends, etc will not feel loved without intentionality and the choice to choose to love them.
I choose love!!!! Thank you. I’m
In this! Sending love….
I choose love!!!
Thank you for your beautiful and inspiring blog posts!! xx
I choose love! (Thank you Rachel!)
I choose love!
Thank you for this.
I Choose Love!
I choose love.
I choose love:)
I choose love.
As I type these words I know I will have moments of doubt. I pray I’ll have the strength to press on….to choose love. thank you for your inspiration, what a perfect way to reflect this February.
Thank you so much for your blog which has been inspiring me since my sister shared it with me. Parenting is hard, parenting toddlers is hard, parenting teens and pre-teens is hard. Parenting all three is hard. Sometimes it feels like one step forward two steps back. Thankfully our precious charges are far more forgiving than we are of our shortcomings-a lesson in itself.
Thank you and I choose love.
I choose love.
I choose love
I need this. My kids need this!
I’m taking you up on that challenge. I choose love.
i CHOOSE love
I choose love.
I will miss your posts but am grateful for the inspiration you give me to be a better person. Wishing for you twenty-one beauty-, love-, and wonder-filled days.
I choose love
I choose love xoxoxo
I choose love:)
I choose love too. Thanks especially for your insights in showing up to love, and leaving better.
I choose love!
Thank you.
I choose love.
I Choose LOVE
Thank you for this post.
Tomorrow I will CHOOSE LOVE and by the grace of god, I will just keep going!
I choose love!
I Choose Love~
Every day I’m trying to put whats important in front of me. Today will be the day I choose to stop trying and just do it!
I choose love.
I choose *love*. ~:o) Thank you for your insight. Can’t wait to check out The Artful Year, Newbie’s Guide To Positive Parenting (although my son is seven, I *still* feel new at times!) and Looking Up From Your Phone.
I choose love!
i choose love
i choose love
I choose LOVE!!!
I choose love.
I choose love
I choose love…..
I love this. How many times a week do these crossroads come up? Maybe hundreds. Let’s make them count! I have three kids and all the struggles that go along with that. But I have the love and blessings that are waiting to abound in love. God game me these little gifts to love on for a brief time. Thanks for this today. I choose love! Over and over! #bigjoy #leavedifferently
I choose love, because I am tired of choosing something else
I choose love!!
Love love love this!
I choose love.
i choose love
I choose love !
I choose love♡♡♡♡♡♡
I choose love
I choose love.
I CHOOSE LOVE!
I read Hand’s Free often. I leave thinking “Yes, this will be me as well”, but all of a sudden, *life* steps right back in front of me. Constant emotions to deal with regarding work, pressure regarding health of our aging parents, raising my children in the life we live in, experiences of junior high for my daughter – be it from gossip situations she gets pulled into or lock downs the schools are now when my kindergarten little boy explains “to keep safe.” But then I realize, Hands free mama IS what we need in this world, because love is the key connection that see’s us through all of this. Thank you for reminding me, time and time again, to get back in focus and not let yourself go astray. Tamara Beach God Bless You
That was tremendously beautiful and inspiring. I absolutely will choose love. Thank you.
i choose love
I choose <3.
I chose Love. This is a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.
please pray for me as I choose love I needed this so bad today thank you for the challenge
i choose love!
I Choose Love.
I choose love – jeg vælger kærlighed
Thank you for this. I choose LOVE.
I choose LOVE!!!
I choose love!
I choose love
I Choose Love!
I choose love!!!
I CHOOSE LOVE!! Thank you for your continued inspiration that you provide to my inbox!!
I choose LOVE!!!
Thank you for this post. <3
I choose love.
I CHOOSE LOVE! Thank you as always for the inspiration!
I choose love..nurturing healing love.
i chose LOVE! thank you Rachel!!
I choose LOVE!
I choose LOVE!
I accept your challenge and I choose Love.
I choose love. :o)
Rachel-I CHOOSE LOVE! I have been working on this. I get lost sometimes. I have been lost recently. I needed this challenge. For myself, for my family and for the new baby we will welcome home this spring. Thank you!
I choose love!
I choose love.
Love.
Thank you.
I CHOOSE LOVE.
I Choose Love.
I choose love.
I choose love!
My mom shared this on Facebook today, and I am incredibly thankful. This is the type of thinking I have always tried to put first in my life, because I never had it growing up. I love her, and I remember far too many nights where I was left waiting, forgotten, for my mom to tuck me in. I choose love, and I hope so much that she does, too, for my baby sister’s sake. With tears in my eyes and my heart swelling in my throat, I say thank you.
I choose love!
I choose love….
I choose LOVE…
I choose love!
I choose love
After two days of feeling like the world’s worst mother, being lazy and frustrated, not enjoying my children at any age and time I will never get back, and worst of all blaming them for my bad attitude when all they want is my love and attention, I CHOOSE LOVE. And it feels amazing to declare it.
I choose love. Suva, Fiji.
Thank you for your blog, in the last month, it’s already made an impact on my relationship with my 3 young children. I’m looking forward to the next 21 days of choosing love and recreating a nurturing, understanding, accepting, encouraging, reliable, fun & joyous relationship with my 8, 6 & 3 year olds.
I choose Love
I choose love x
I choose love!
Thank-you for such an inspiring piece xx
I choose love!!
My daughter always asks me to go pray for her when she goes to bed. Sometimes I could get irritated thinking of the load of work still ahead of me. But one day after lying to her that I will go later (knowing she will fall asleep), I thought about how lucky I am to have such a chance for such a request. I went and prayed for her while she was asleep and since then I have made it a ritual. No matter what am doing, I will stop and pray for her. If she wants me to go to her I make a point of going. I am happy for the changes am experiencing in my life and I am in for the challenge. I CHOOSE LOVE!
I choose love!!
I choose love!
I choose Love!
I choose love!
I choose love! Thank you for this! <3
I choose love! Your hair is soo beautiful! Can you share with me what products you use and how often you go for trims to keep it looking so healthy? please?
This is so wonderful! Thank you for the positive nudge I so desperately need!
I CHOOSE LOVE!
The messages you share always strike such a deep cord within my soul. I often feel as if you are speaking directly to me and describing my life perfectly. Thank you for sharing your journey. I choose love, not just for 21 days (although that’s a great start) but for the rest of my days…
I choose LOVE
I Choose Love.
I choose love.
I Choose LOVE!
I choose LOVE!!
I choose love. I really need this 21 day challenge, thank you. In honor of my sons and Congenital Hear Awareness Week…Feb 7 -14…I choose love. XO
I’m in – I choose love! And as always, I’m crying again! Beautiful story and what we all want to be remembered for – not the seemingly perfect work we completed, ideal and well balanced meal we prepared, but those we love and should have touched and affected most of all. And an awesomely timed challenge for us this month!
I am choosing love
I choose L-O-V-E!
I choose love. It’s never too late to start right? 😉
I Choose Love
Hello, Rachel. Early last year I invited you to come over to my blog and you did and joined me in my “Let it Go” challenge. Do you remember? I was so honored that you came! You are the one who comes to others you touch too. I’ve had an amazing year, but I still have a lot of love to choose. I am nervous, and embarrassed by the voices I feel telling me I can’t – or will fail to – choose love every time, but I know change begins with commitment so here goes – I choose love!
Thank you very much dear Rachel. Congratulations for your wonderful work.
My love and my best wishes.
I choose love!!!
When you read a post and you cry, that’s when you know it’s time to commit. This hit a cord very deep down for me. I had already chosen love as my “theme” for the month in my business and blog. Now I know I need to make sure I carry that forward into my family too.
Today I am marking in my calendar 8:30 – talk with E before bed. If I keep seeing it until I do it I’m sure I can commit to choosing love with my pre teen once again! One small drop can create a huge ripple 🙂
I choose LOVE!
i chose love
Well it’s a nice, endearing thought. I really thought I could do it. I almost lasted 1 day. I had to yell at least 5 times today. I even put reminders all over my house. Good luck to everyone else.
I Choose Love
I choose love! 😀
I choose love
I choose love!
I choose love! Thank you for the motivation to try this beautiful approach
I choose LOVE!!
accepting mumma’s 21 days challenge of love
I choose love.
I choose love. (And look at what you’ve done. Hundreds of mamas choosing love. ❤️)
I choose love!
I choose love.
i choose love…
I choose love~
I choose love. I’ve already noticed a difference in my outlook. Thank you for your challenge!
http://heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com/2015/02/make-it-and-break-it-february.html
I choose love.
i choose love
I choose love!! With the help of my heavenly Father, I will strive to be the best mother and person and to choose love in every instance!! <3
“I definitely choose love”
I choose love!
I choose LOVE!
I choose love!
I choose love!
And you have inspired me to write more about just how I plan to do that, after my two young daughters are asleep and I put this darn phone down.
Eventually you’ll be able to read about it here : ( https://whyisthissodamnhard.wordpress.com/) if you want to see just how your inspiration has impacted others lives, starting now!
I choose love! I can’t wait to start the challenge. So glad I found your blog!
I must and do choose love! If not now.. when? Why?
My new years resolution is one word LOVE.
thanks for the inspiration and the tips to be able to choose Lovre more often.
I guess no more facebook for me for 21 days.
Love to everyone that’s starting this challenge.
May God bless you.
Lily 🙂
I choose LOVE.
I Choose Love
I choose love!
This made me tear up. I just want to be like you! I want to be happy, and silly, and relaxed with my kids instead of grumpy and on my last nerve and stressed out. It’s not even that I’m too busy it’s just that I get annoyed so easy and my 4yo talks soooo much that I just retreat to hide behind my computer because I’m overwhelmed. I always mean to have talk time in bed but then at the end of the day I’m so annoyed with him or just so tired that I think “another night”. I am going to try my hardest to do your choose love challenge in hopes that I can reach even a bit of what you’ve got!
I Choose Love.
An again so I get updates… I choose love and am starting today.
I choose love.
I choose love!
I choose love
Better late than never. I just saw this post today. I choose love. <3
I’m a bit slow on the uptake as I’ve only just read your latest post – you’ve just done the challenge – which made me read this post. If I had taken the time to read this post back in early Feb, then maybe I wouldn’t have been through the last 21 days in the same way I have. They might’ve been different but maybe I was just meant to experience what I did … It’s been a tough 21 days to say the least as I’ve been dealing with some major changes in my three year old who’s been extra demanding, stubborn, manipulative and tired. I’ve been trying to read less blogs since Christmas time but every blog, like this one, seems to make me see things differently and I think what I have been through over the last month has also made me see things differently and without knowing, I have come out of it feeling like I need to choose love over being that frustrated Mother. So it’s funny that I read this … I will take that challenge as of now for the next 21 days … I think in my subconscious, I already had after a few unnecessary but frustrated outbursts over the last month. Thank you for bringing it to my attention! :0)
i choose love.
Thank a lot for this. I needed this challenge. I choose Love
I Chose Love !
I’m starting this a month late, but I choose love.
Thank you so much for inspiring words. Your stories are of enormous value to this changing World. Thank you sweet mother. Here is my reply to your story and to the love. http://www.greenfamilyraam.com/i-choose-love/
I choose Love 🙂 <3
Hi, Rachel. I left a comment when this first came out. But I wanted to add that I’ve taken your challenge to heart and have blogged about it consistently. I referred back to this post in my latest: Choose Love Through Time – http://heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com/2015/04/choose-love-through-time.html
Thank you so much for your inspirational site!
I loved your beautifully written and heartfelt post! This quote really jumped out at me: “I’d rather have special moments with my kids while they are still home than I would some time alone.” – See more at: http://heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com/#sthash.aH8Ebjn2.dpuf. Thank you so much for sharing your post, spreading the Hands Free message with others, and for providing such wonderful resources within the post. You are doing wonderful work, my friend.
Thank you so much, Rachel. I really appreciate your personal words of encouragement. Your blog is one of my favorites. Have a wonderful day. You made mine!
I Choose Love
it is not february anymore, but I choose LOVE. thanks!
I commented on this the day it originally posted and then as luck would have it, this was the beginning of my 7-year old’s fall into overwhelming anxiety and fear that took over our life for the next 2 months. I literally could not leave the room without her having a panic attack. I did Choose Love throughout the next 9 weeks I COULD NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE ALONE….but I (and our family) was simply in survival mode.
Today, I can leave for 15 – 30 minutes without her having a panic attack and for that I am grateful. I am living life at her speed (and within her comfort zone) so that we all can come out of this stronger on the other side, but I needed to reread this post (and many of your other posts) for a renewed boost in my confidence that I CAN DO THIS!
I am also going to buy a bracelet for myself. I have relinquished my life as I knew it in order to help her through this, but I need more reminders. I need to know this will not last forever, I need to know that I CAN DO THIS. In other words, I need your words in my head, repeatedly….all day long.
I am starting my CHOOSE LOVE today, this very minute. I have faith that on Day 22 she will have come even further out of her darkness than she already has. And I will have faith that I CAN DO THIS.
Much love,
Jenny
Jenny – I am so glad you are here, sharing your life, your heart, your small steps forward. You have been a rock for your child. You have extended patience and presence, two of the most life-giving gifts we can give another human being. And she is getting stronger for it. You are so right — this fear inside her will not last forever and by giving her what she needs now, you both will get through it. Here is something to hold on to in the midst of this challenge, my friend (especially the last 4 lines) …
Anyway
By Rachel Macy Stafford
If you find it hard to get up,
Do it anyway.
You may see someone brighten at the mere sight of you.
If you find it hard to look at your reflection,
Do it anyway.
You may see a flicker of something beautiful you thought was gone is still there.
If you find it hard to love the unlovable,
Do it anyway.
You may see a smile or an expression that reminds you of their worth.
If you find it hard to get past the mess,
Do it anyway,
You may see evidence of little hands learning, loving, and living.
If you find it hard to speak out,
Do it anyway.
You may have the words someone else needs to hear.
If you find it hard to hold on,
Do it anyway.
You may you look down and see someone holding on
Simply because you are.
“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough
You are such a beautiful woman. Your insight and intuition is the gift you give to all of us. Even while living your “Hands Free'” you still find the time to send a poem to a sister in need, what an angel you are. I have printed this out and taped it onto my fridge to read as often as I need. And you are right….she is holding on because she feels the safety of me holding on.
I wish I knew you in my real life. I would give you a tight hug and never want to let go.
Jenny
Oh my!!! I sooooo needed to see that poem, “Anyway” today. Thank you Rachel. How beautiful!
Wow Jenny. Just when one thinks that things are going pretty rough, one always hears a worse story and this is the time I’m hearing a worse one. Your 7 year old is a VERY lucky child to have a Mum like you. I wish you all the best for your journey over the coming months. You are one amazing lady!
Dear Rachel,
Although it has been a few months since this post, I wanted to share a moment I had with my son today. During the 21 day challenge, I spoke a lot to my children about “choosing love” and it continues to be a discussion we share…. So, on one hand his comment caught me by surprise, but on the other hand it simply made me smile…
“Mom, Is Life Love? he asked quietly from the back seat during our car ride home. I looked at his reflection from the rear view mirror, so innocent at four years old and smiled. “Mommy believes life can be love…I think people have choices in their lives, and if they make good choices, and are kind to one another…they can have a life filled with love”
“Mom, I Choose Love”…..my heart melted and my eyes filled with tears. I instantly thought of you, Rachel and how powerful your words have influenced my life. I don’t know what made him ask this question, but I know his response is due to the kind words you continue to offer us. I am forever grateful.
Shannon
Oh my. I have been reduced to tears — but they are happy ones, the best kind of tears, dear Shannon. Thank you so much for offering this beautiful story to me — I receive it as fuel, substance, and encouragement to keep writing, keep sharing, even when my hand shakes on the publish button. I TOO am grateful for YOU.
“You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability” -Brene Brown
We are all so grateful that you continue to press the “publish” button Rachel, especially when your hand shakes. Your ability to be vulnerable with yourself and with your readers is what truly makes us connect with you & your message.
“Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued- when they can give & recieve without judgement” -Brene Brown
If you find it hard to press the publish button,
Do it anyway,
As you ALWAYS have the words someone else needs to hear…as you always give us HOPE for a brighter day….as you always make us FEEL we are not alone”
Shannon
Couldn’t be truer words Shannon. Well said.
It’s June, and I just stumbled upon this post at the perfect time! Thank you so much for your continued encouragement and words. I CHOOSE LOVE!
Is piapouch.com no longer a valid site?
Hi Beth – I wish I could help you, but I don’t know what happened with that company.
Sorry, I hit post before I was done. The pouch sounds fabulous, but I can’t find any working links to order :/
It looks like they are not selling it anymore. The FB page has not been updated since March. What a shame. It was a neat idea!
I choose love.
Thank you, Julia! So grateful you are here.
I choose love!
Thank you, Melanie! Grateful to walk beside you.
I choose love!
I choose love!
I choose love!!
I CHOOSE Love!
It’s easy to say, and really hard to continue to do, but I will try my best to choose love. Kids, relatives, coworkers, all wanting a piece of you, and rarely even a word of thanks. It’s times when no one else feels like they’re choosing love (toward me) that makes it quite difficult for ME to choose love. And reading comments, I know I’m not alone in this feeling. Still, I’ll choose love when I catch myself NOT choosing it.
I choose love. Again.
I choose LOVE!
I choose love. I choose to show that love to my toddler grandchildren, my aging and confused mother. To focus on love rather than irritation and times of frustration in my 35 year marriage. Thank you.
I choose love.
You never fail to move me with your writing Rachel. You speak to the very essence of the mama I am deep down, who I’m working so hard to bring to the surface. It’s scary, stepping into my truth, letting go of all my stories and choosing love, and this article gives me strength and courage to do that. I’m absolutely with you on this journey. Thank you so much for sharing your light. Forever grateful xo
Exactly what I need in this busy season – I choose love!
I choose love.
Thank you for the constant reminders to sloooow down and really listen to our kids. My first born started kindergarten 5 weeks ago and she’s always chattering on about something or someone from school. The other day however, she casually mentioned that a girl in her class said she was scared of her mother.
My daughter couldn’t give me any more details on what that meant but I took the opportunity to sit down, pull her into my lap and tell her for the billionth time how much I love her. And that she never ever has to be scared of me…even when I’m upset, even when I’m frustrated, even when I’m short with her…because of the end of the day I love her more than life itself.
And she looked up at me and said (in her sweet little way), “I know mama, I love you too… Now can I have a snack?”
Thanks for reminding me to make sure she always knows it!
I will do my best to choose ? love.
I choose love xxx
I choose Love
I choose love!
I choose love!
I choose love.
I choose love ❤️
I choose love <3
I choose love.
I choose love
I really want to try this challenge and see how I go. So I choose love.
I choose love ! Thank you for reminding us the most important thing in Life.
I choose love ❤
I choose LOVE. Thank you for this challenge, it is just what I need right now.
hi, rachel!
a friend just sent me your i choose love challenge, and it’s been a joy to come across your important message and work. i’m going to start your challenge tomorrow, and i also wanted to connect because i blog (and recently committed to really learn how to do this!) at http://www.ichooselove.com. “i choose love” has been to core study of my life for the past 5 years, and it has changed my life big time! i’ve never done a specific challenge like this, so i’m excited to join you.
I CHOOSE LOVE
from the heart,
stephanie
Your site is beautiful, Stephanie! I love your message! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment & lead me to your beautiful work. So happy to have you do this challenge with me!
I choose love!
I choose love. And I choose to consciously try to remember this choice for the next 21 days and beyond. Thank you for the reminder.
I choose LOVE……. today and everyday from here on for my precious family. Xoxoxo
I choose LOVE
I choose love
This is a reminder I needed. The other day, I definitely did not choose love. I chose to be a momster, I overreacted, I yelled. I’m so ashamed. Today, I will begin again, and will remember to choose love. I need the hands free bracelet. Do you ship to the Philippines?
Thank you ceemee, yes, we do ship internationally. Thank you! Today is a new day! Today matters more than yesterday.
I choose love.
I choose love!
I know I’m easily distracted by email, facebook, tv, and just plain excuses. Look forward to the transformation for myself, and my family.
I choose LOVE. Thank you for the reminders to focus on the things that matter and the inspiration to keep choosing to do so.
I Choose love. Thanks for the challenge, I’m in and hoping to conquer the distractions in my life!
I choose love…again…and…again!
I choose love and I completely appreciate your message.
I choose LOVE!
I choose love!
I choose love.
I choose love ?
I choose love
Sept 28. I choose Love 21 day challenge ..
Thank you .
I choose love. Thank you, Rachel.
I choose LOVE
for my adult children, grandchildren, elderly mum, disabled husband
and for myself!
I choose LOVE
I choose love ❤️
I Choose Love
I Choose Love!
I chose love.
I CHOOSE LOVE.
I choose love 🙂