My eleven-year-old daughter started a new extracurricular activity a few weeks ago. We’re still learning the ropes and aren’t quite sure how things run. On the first day, we walked up to two women who were waiting with their children for the activity to start. I politely asked them a question about protocol and explained we were new.
I was met with annoyed facial expressions and curt answers.
Following that response with an introduction seemed inappropriate so I turned to their children and introduced myself and my daughter to them. We talked with the children until the class began. The following week, I saw the women again in the waiting area.
“Hello,” I said warmly. “How are you both doing today?” I received mumbled replies and they immediately turned back to each other and continued talking. My daughter and I talked to each other which relieved the painful sense of feeling invisible.
Last week, as my daughter and walked up to the activity, I saw the women in their usual spot. I felt a twinge of something I couldn’t explain in my stomach. It was not a pleasant feeling – perhaps anxiety, embarrassment, awkwardness? Whatever it was, that feeling made me feel like not trying anymore. I stopped my daughter several feet away from the waiting area and suggested we watch some games going on.
That is when the best possible result that could happen from this experience occurred.
I said, “Remember this.”
Remember this when you are in familiar territory and someone new walks up looking for guidance.
Remember this when you see someone on the outskirts anxiously holding her own hand.
Remember this when someone approaches you and asks a question – see the bravery behind the words.
Remember this when you see someone stop trying – perhaps he’s been rejected one too many times.
Remember this when you see someone being excluded or alienated – just one friendly person can relieve the painful sense of feeling invisible.
Remember the deepest desire of the human heart is to belong … to be welcomed … to know you are seen and worthy of kindness.
This week, as Avery and I drove up to her extracurricular activity, I felt a new feeling when I saw those women. As odd as it may sound, it was gratitude. I felt grateful they’d reminded me of one of life’s highest lessons. Author Kari Kampakis beautifully describes the concept of using people’s hurtful actions as opportunities for self-growth. She writes:
“Regardless of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. While some people teach you who you do want to be, others teach you who you don’t want to be. And it’s the people who teach you who you don’t want to be that provide some of the most lasting and memorable lessons on social graces, human dignity, and the importance of acting with integrity.”
The unkind treatment I received became a means to gain awareness, compassion, and connection. When I shared my story of rejection on my Facebook page earlier this week, there were hundreds of comments and private messages—some quite painful—confirming the need to belong is unmet for many people in our society. In addition to those who shared their painful stories of exclusion, there were people who shared helpful actions and roles they’d taken to be an Includer and make others feel welcome.
I was quickly reminded of the specific need our family had when we moved to a new state three years ago. On one of our first trips to the grocery store, we passed my daughters’ new school.
“I just hope I am not the only new kid in my class,” my older daughter said looking out the window. “I hope there is just one other new person.”
After a long pause, she repeated, “Just one.”
That had been my solitary prayer in the months leading up to the move … just one friend … just one kind friend for each of my girls. One person can instantly make you feel unalone, uninvisible … like you belong.
A few weeks later, my daughter met a girl at the neighborhood pool. They were the same age, going into the same grade, at the same school.
“This will be my first year there,” the girl said. “Maybe we’ll be in the same class.”
That’s when I saw the unmistakable look of relief on my daughter’s face.
One person can do that.
One person can take away months of angst in an instant.
That same week I had to take my car to the emissions station. It was a requirement in my new state. The woman working asked me if I had my new ID and registration.
“No,” I confessed. “That task is daunting to me because I am directionally challenged,” I laughed, but not really joking.
“Get a piece a paper,” she said. “I will give you directions to the place to go. It’s easy to get there and there’s never a line.” The woman proceeded to list off exactly what documents I would need. “They don’t mention all this on the website,” she added.
I looked down at the little note that revealed the ins and outs of an intimidating task, and I felt like I might cry. I could feel the goofiest smile on my face. As cars backed up behind us, it was no matter to woman. She wanted to make sure I had what I needed. And because of her, I was less scared to tackle this task. My angst was cut in half instantly. One person can do that.
A few days later, I made a wrong turn after leaving the store. My daughters and I ended up in a parking lot of a busy strip mall. There was a young mother holding a sign, her three young children sitting in on the curb next to her.
“I lost my job. Any spare change would be appreciated,” read my older daughter.
I pulled over and told my girls to grab some of the cereal, granola bars, and other snacks from our grocery bags. I got a little money from my purse. When the woman and I touched hands as I offered her the items, her eyes filled with tears. She said many people had driven past them, and we were the first to stop. The fact that we cared gave her hope.
One person can do that.
One person can give someone hope.
I know this, I absolutely know this, but how often I forget.
Life gets busy. Things get familiar. I get caught up in my own problems, etc. etc.
I nearly forget what I have the power to do until one Tuesday afternoon when I take my daughter to an activity, and I am reminded. I approach two women hoping for kindness, but I am met with rudeness.
And when it happens a second time, I start to feel bitter, so I ask myself how I can turn this into goodness, into love? And that’s when the words, “Remember this,” come out of my mouth.
I passed on the critical reminder to others not expecting to be flooded with the pain and wisdom of hundreds who’ve stood where I stood.
One of the most powerful responses came from a beautiful writer named Alexandra Rosas. She wrote,
“You didn't know when you wrote that, but you were to be in my life today after I received the coldest shoulder when I greeted a group of women. You, I came home to you. You halved my pain and I halved yours: it's together for each other that we find strength to ask, learn, and never fold up and disappear.”
It's together for each other that we find strength to ask, learn, and never fold up and disappear.
If that’s not life’s highest lesson, I don’t know what is.
Let me remember it now, especially now, when the world’s collective pain is so deep, so wide, and so heavy.
But there is hope …
Because what we can do individually to heal the world’s collective pain is quite miraculous. We can half the pain by being one person’s person.
With one invitation, we can take someone
From outsider to insider
From outcast to beloved member
From unknown neighbor to coffee companion
From wallflower to life-of-the-party
From shortened life expectancy to 80 years of joy.
That last line is no exaggeration.
Dr. Dean Ornish, the founder of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute, says this about the effects of loneliness: “I am not aware of any other factor — not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery — that has a greater impact on our incidence of illness, and chance of premature death.”
Never underestimate the power you hold as ONE PERSON to save the life of another.
“Come join us,” you’ll say with a smile.
And the recipient will sigh with relief … angst gone instantly … a world of pain cut in half.
One person can do that.
************************************************************************
Dear friends of the Hands Free Revolution, one of the struggles I often hear from my readers is that they don’t have people they can be real with; they don’t have a place of refuge where they are supported, loved, and welcomed “as is.” Therefore, when I created my online course, SOUL SHIFT, one of the main components was a private online community where we can learn, share, encourage, and grow together. The connections and friendships made in the previous two sessions surpassed anything I ever expected. In fact, many members met up at my speaking events this fall. To see the beautiful support systems that are now in place for so many people as a result of SOUL SHIFT brings me great joy. If being part of the Soul Shift family sounds inviting to you, there is another session starting on January 21, 2019. Along with the support of a loving community, you will learn how to respond to yourself, your people, and life’s challenges with more love, presence, and peace. It is a beautiful and life-changing way to begin a new year. Registration closes Wednesday for SOUL SHIFT. Here are few testimonies from past participants:
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To say in words, the women’s behavior was a reflection of their (not positive) character and it was not a reflection of your or your daughter’s value! I’m 63, but when I was in junior high & high school (& later for a # of years) my mom was an actively drinking alcoholic. It was never discussed between us, but I was very embarrassed, etc. Years later I could take the attitude that I had nothing to be embarrassed about. Her behavior was a reflection of her character (her problems, etc.) & not my value. Taking this perspective has helped me in many different situations over the years. Also, I do believe God has used that perspective to encourage/heal others as I have shared it. As Rachel’s post beautifully reflects, one can either choose to be bitter or better in a number of situations over one’s lifetime. I value many of your posts, Rachel, but this one is particularly outstanding to me & THANK YOU!!
Thank you, Maren! What an important, healing, and life-altering perspective! I adore your heart and am so thankful you are part of this community and our world!!!
To God be the glory, Rachel, you are welcome!
Certainly lovely because it’s true. I wonder if this isn’t enabling the excluders to a certain extent though it tak seems nothing would move them to have a heart. I’ve been doing what you suggest all my life in the name of healing my own broken heart from isolation, first as the only girl and much younger than the rest of the family. Then as the new kid of a constantly moving army father. I learned to be a good host, smiler and reach out. Some people use it as an opportunity to bully me and my child in the school system as has been mentioned. Exclusion, in my opinion based on more experience than I would wish on anyone, is the most insidious, effective and difficult to prove form of bullying in society new and old. Some people get a charge out of making people uncomfortable and not always because they lack power in their own lives, but sometimes, because of it. I’m glad people will learn to do what I figured out to do over my lifetime from an early age. I’m just a little burnt out on it as I find I HAVE to do it everywhere I go this past decade or so just to survive in groups or be completely alone. I’m very burnt out on the uphill battle of taking the high road when so many people seem to gain perverse pleasure in throwing boulders of indifference on it just as I arrive. Single people DO suffer exclusion in droves. Add an aging appearance, which I personally don’t mind at all, and you ARE invisible, whether you want to be or not.
Ouch!
I just found out that my ex-boss invited the whole team to a picnic while I was on leave, including people who no longer work here! My coworker accidentally told me and then I could see she went ‘shit!”.
I was rummaging around the old scenarios in my head, going over how I may have maligned the ex-boss (I hadn’t, I acted professionally at all times) or hurt her in some way. I do recall her never really making connections with me, although I did try to do so with her. I always felt a wall, a distance.
What does this say about my ex-boss? Yes, she should probably have invited me, regardless of me being on leave, but she didn’t. I simply never made an impact on her, and I wasn’t welcome. The hardest part is negating my conspiracy theories, where everyone knows WHY I wasn’t invited but me. The thought that people may have asked “Where’s Maria?” and gossiped about my absence, drove me nuts for about 24 hours. Then, I decided to focus on the present, and through my higher self, remembered that what other people think about me is none of my business.
Still, when it comes to relationships, make no mistake: being ostracised used to mean death in ancient times. This has remained part of our DNA and is still why loneliness is so life-threatening. I continue to work with people who side-line me, and I cannot feel trust with them but this is not forever. That boss is gone, the replacement has left as well, and on to the next one. I will move on shortly.
I can proudly say, I recently was at a function where I did see the wallflower, and my antenna honed in on this person, and I know I made a difference by simply walking over and being with her.
Small acts made an impact!
Re, “Small acts made an impact!” The older I get the more the “small” things are overall the “BIG” things, especially showing character, Marla, but I am still sorry that happened!!
This has brought me to tears. Tears of relief that someone else understands the pain and anxiety and tears of joy that I now have something to share with my daughter when she and I both experience rejection. We are three years into our new place and it has been the most difficult transition of my life. One child is thriving and the other gave up because of constant rejection. I feel I sacrificed one child’s happiness for the other. ‘Remember this’ will be my new mantra. Turn it around.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh my heart breaks for you Karen. We moved three years ago too and my younger daughter still misses our old home and old friends. I keep reminding myself of the strengths she is growing through this experience and I have noticed how compassionate she is to new people and those who look sad or alone. I pray that your child finds her person. Holding your hand from afar, Rachel
I’m sorry you and your daughter had the experience with the two women, and yet I’m glad you were able to take it and learn from it and in turn teach us. Thank you. When I go out today I’ll keep my eyes open, looking for opportunities to be the one person.
Thank you, Priscilla! I appreciate you.
Yes! I still remember going to a big gathering of the family of a guy I was dating – my first time meeting his people. He introduced me to his mom and two other people. They barely gave me a glance and a mumble. I was ignored the whole time as the party moved from the barbecue in the yard to desserts in the kitchen to coffee in the den and even to a bar for drinks after. No one spoke, no one motioned for me to come here or please sit there. No one introduced themselves or asked me questions. More hurtful was that a cousin had also brought his new girlfriend and everyone gushed and fawned over her. Was I too poor? not dressed right? not charming/funny/smart enough? I spent SIX HOURS wondering what was wrong with me! But I also resolved after that anytime someone is a guest in MY home, I will make them feel welcome, make sure they are introduced to others and warmly included. I am also teaching my two small children that anytime a guest arrives – no matter which of us they are there to see – we ALL go and greet them and make polite conversation to welcome them in.
Many years ago I was dating a Dutch Indonesian man. I went to a dinner party at their home one night and they all spoke in their native language. I hadn’t a clue what they were saying. This was very isolating and I ended up making an excuse that I was ill and left early. I will never forget that experience but it taught me a lot about including others. When I travelled solo in the 1970’s I always remembered that the other solo travellers were in exactly the same boat as me and that we were there to travel and make friends. All these fellow travellers felt the same way.
That is a very powerful experience. Thank you for using it as a way to increase your compassion and awareness. I will remember this too.
I am sorry you experienced this. I think most of us have experienced this reaction at some point in our lives. I love your beautiful statement of “remember this.” We get to choose who we want to be in the world and how we treat others. Unfortunately, some of my experiences happened in my church, which seemed to make it more hurtful. I remember hearing a quote that said, “people may not remember what you said to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” Thank you for your post of healing words in a broken world. And for letting us know we can all make difference.
Great message! People who surround us push us in many ways. The way we react to these pressures is our personality.
We can make a difference. We do make a difference. We may not know it, but to the person whose mind is filled with ‘why don’t they like me” we can be the ones who welcome them in, and be that sanctuary all our souls need .
I am so happy I know you. xo
Story of our life. Single women who have never had the opportunity to marry or have children experience this ALL. THE. TIME. Funny how quickly married women forget this. Holidays are the worst. Hopefully anyone reading this will remember what it was like in the days before they met their husbands, reach out to those in their family who don’t have a special someone to remember them on Christmas morning, instead of excluding them to the “kids” table. Single adults are the most invisible people in our society today.
Thank you so much, Michelle. What an important contribution to this post! I am so grateful.
We recently enrolled our kids in public school after homeschooling, so I’m dipping my toe into the PTO arena. I went an evening meeting because I’d talked to another parent about helping with the book fair – not a single person there even made eye contact with me, let alone spoke to me at all (rudely or kindly – either way). Not so eager to help anymore … but I turned around and am helping with a class holiday party because my children are making friends and want to have play dates, so I NEED to know these other parents for my children’s benefit. I will suck it up and shove my way in, even where I don’t appear to be wanted, so my kids will be able to spend time with their new friends outside of school hours.
“One person can do that. One person can take away months of angst in an instant. One person can give someone hope.” ….. “It’s together for each other that we find strength to ask, learn, and never fold up and disappear.” … “Never underestimate the power you hold as ONE PERSON to save the life of another.”
You moved me to tears, Rachel! Indeed, we can make a difference in the life of one person by being that ONE PERSON for them.
Thank you, Lucy!!! I love to know those lines touched you so deeply. This is everything to me.
What a thoughtful and thought-provoking post. It feels like a soft, warm place with love and kindness spilling out. I feel sorry for those women for missing out on the opportunity to get to know you and your children. I’m going to tack “One Person” to the board in my office so I can see it every day-a good reminder to always choose kindness and love and to look for places where I can make a difference. Thank you so much for your beautiful words. They have enriched my life.
Thank you, sweet Carol. So much love to you.
Thank you. This is so well timed. I am in an incredibly lonely season of life right now, and this is spot-on. We can always take our own experiences and use them for good to love others. Be the kind of friend you want to have. This is beautifully written and so poignant.
You and I share a passion for community. Trying to find it in this world can be challenging but it’s there if we seek it. Sometimes we find it in the most unexpected ways. Thank you for this post!
I have faced this… not just as a child. But most recently, as an adult. Fortunately I am okay with who I am, but I will not “tell a lie”… it was awkward and unnecessary … AND I was with a group of people I have known for many, many years! I was not included in the conversation – was just about ignored. I felt like I was in Jr. High all over again. I was taught to include people and not to leave anyone out. I walked away feeling hurt but not because of the lack of inclusion at the table I was sitting at..but some of the comments one very close friend made as she didn’t know me.. that was painful!
Thank you <3
Hello Rachel. A friend shared this post today on Facebook and it was what I need to read today. Thank you for the precious lesson of “Remind this.” and to transform pain and loneliness in something beautiful for others. I’ve been living in another country, far from family and friends for 10 years and I feel invisible. I do not have friends here and the friends back home are just carrying on with their lives without me. I hope I can turn my pain into something beautiful today.
As a child I moved around a lot and made no friends. I thought it was my fault and as I learned to read I would bury myself in a book. Teachers werejust as bad as they tried not to call me by my full first name but shortened it even after I (rudly) refused to answer the shortened version, But reading has opend a full world to me. also I did eventually make friend with one or two others who wee in the same position as I was. (Reading books for company). I can count my real friends less than one han and for a woman of 75 years that is not a good thing.
I felt this as a mother of a prep 6yr old son with autism. On one afternoon in particular towards the end of the year my son had an aggressive meltdown in the courtyard to his classroom, all the other prep parents witnessed his behaviour and the fact that it took his teacher, teachers aide and I a great deal of time to get out to the car. Both myself and his teachers aide were bit, kicked, clawed at, head butted and clumps of hair pulled out. We both had to carry him out together all the time fending off his attacks while he screamed and growled with absolute anguish. In doing so we passed the other parents all lining up awaiting class to be released struggling to contain my son and carry his school belonging out into the car. I was soooo exhaust I cried and so did the teachers aide as we hugged goodbye. Afterwards on recounting this to my husband not one parent offered to help…even to just say ‘how about I carry is bag out for you’, instead whilst struggling to get past them I noticed that the mothers all pretended not to notice and continued to talk to each other making sure not to make eye contact. My point is afterwards at pick up times I sit alone and I am aware that none of the other parents will talk to me….I do say hi to them but am met with what appears to be a courteous reply so as not to seem rude but then they either walk off to talk to someone else or turn then to the person next to them and start a conversation. I also realise they do not understand and think my son is extremely naughty but sometimes it would be nice to ‘bond’ with another mum or have our son invited to parties as he is aware more than they think.
Thank you for sharing your story, your heart, your hopes, dear Felicity. I am so sorry that no one came forth to support you that day and that people are missing the gift of knowing you and your son. I hope that someone extends a welcome to you very soon. I wish we could go for coffee. You are loved. You matter. Love Rachel
I love this article. It’s the thing that me fall in love with my husband. When we would go to parties he’d find the excluded and talk to them because he remembers what it was like when he moved frim Idaho to Chicago. We’ve taught our daughters to be includers. Recently, my daughter had an experience in which someone she has always gone out of her way to include (when the girl didn’t have plans for a school dance she asked her friends if it was ok to let her join is one example. They are currently 15 so that is tough) it’s been going on like this year for years however the girl kerps silent when my daughter is excluded. My daughter has recently been feeling burdened by the inclusion of this girl but her kind heart wins out every time. However, thus girl recently left my daughter out of something that left her stranded at school until I could get her. My daughter was upset at the humiliation as well as the fact that she has gone out of her way to include her in the past. I kinda always thought it would happen but was so disappointed when it did. i used Maya Aneglou’s words, I can forget what people say and I can forget what people do but I’ll never forget how they made me feel.”
Everyone should reach out and include someone. That includes the player as well as the parents. Sadly, that was not the case with us and sports. My daughter had very, very few team members ever really reach out to her, and if they did, it was only during the game season. Once the season was over, they didn’t reach out to her in school or attempt to forge a friendship. Any and all contact was strictly kept to “game only.”
My daughter joined lacrosse and found she really loved the game. She started playing in 7th grade. They didn’t have a goalie, so she decided to play that position and found she loved it and actually has some natural attribute for playing that spot. She worked very hard, even attending goalie camps and worked with a goalie coach we found in Chicago who had played out East and played very high up in the sport (not the Olympics, but close).
She played 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th grade. For 2.5 of those years, she played for Junior Varsity as well as on Varsity team. She was on Varsity team in 9th grade.
For 5 years, she gave it her all to the sport. She made not one friend out of all the kids who played. Parents never talked to us. We were aware that lacrosse is a club sport and is deemed “for the rich,” but you know, you hope that that isn’t completely correct and that someone, somewhere, would reach out a hand in friendship to both our daughter as well as to us as parents.
Never happened. This affected my daughter to no end. But she loved the sport and continued to play because SHE LOVED IT SO MUCH. And we supported her, even though we saw how horribly, horribly bad she was being treated. There for a while, when we threatened to quit–only then were we treated just a smidgeon better, and only because they needed a goalie. (BTW, what is up with blaming the goalie if a game is lost? It takes AN ENTIRE TEAM to play a game. IF the ball gets into the net–WHERE THE F*CK was the defense who are supposed to be defending the goalie???)
Then there was the bullying incident instigated by a couple of upper girls who seriously needed some parenting, but I won’t get into that.
Thankfully, our daughter decided this year to not play lacrosse her senior year. It was a tough, gut-wrenching decision for her to make. She literally was sick about 2-3 weeks while she worked it through in her own mind. (Did I mention that she loves lacrosse and loves playing goalie?) She is currently taking 4 AP courses her Sr year (college starts this fall), and those tougher courses, along with her PT job and the fact that the lacrosse club wants to play 19 games from midApril until the first week of June, with 4 Saturday meets that run from 9am-4pm and a game almost every Thurs night (when my daughter usu has at least 2 AP tests every Fri) along with needing to take off a solid 2-3 weeks to study for and take the AP placement exams AND she was going to have to give up her PT paying library job, for which she was working on saving money for college–No. It just isn’t and wasn’t going to work. Not when after first semester she has a 3.8 GPA and didn’t want to wreck that her last remaining HS semester. As parents, we breathed a sigh of relief when she finally decided, on her own, not to go out for lacrosse this year.
For someone who gave 5 years of her life to the sport–we have not heard a single thing from the club (other than they were sorry to see us not play this year; this came from someone from the boy’s team–not the girl’s–when she sent us back our registration fee), from any of the parents, nor has our daughter heard from a single player in high school (actually, this is ok, because at least she isn’t getting bullied for not playing).
As parents we had high, high hopes our daughter and by extension ourselves would get more out of playing a sport than we received. We got a very graphic picture that those who HAVE look down upon those who DON’T. We saw first hand that who you are and what position you play makes a big difference. We saw many, many weaknesses within club sports and how they are run.
Our daughter, though, learned perseverance. Strength. Dedication. How to prioritize her time around her practices, games, homework, studying, and tests. How to deal with adversity. How to deal with bullying. How to remain the nice person and of THE LIGHT, even when others were anything but. Our daughter learned some hard lessons that most people never learn in their entire lifetime. She learned valuable skills she can use in the workplace and throughout life. And she was never beaten. We didn’t allow her to be. We were there for her, rooting for her, fighting for her, giving her support.
I am sad she is unable to finish out her senior year playing the sport she loves, because I know she is too, but I am proud of her for thinking about her priorities, what matters the most to her, and that she was strong enough to make her decision and stick with it. I am very, very proud of my daughter.
Thank you for sharing you and your daughter’s experience. It was gut-wrenching to read. I celebrate the gifts your daughter cultivated through this painful period, but feel so sad that they came this way. I will not forget your story & I will be sharing with my own daughters. May I always be an includer, a lifter, an encourager and may my daughters be too.
I am going to a workshop today. It is to learn a new skill, a technique I have never tried before. I do not know anyone who will be there and I have reservations for one at the suggested restaurant for lunch.
It is always with anxiety that I enter this kind of unknown. Like most of us, I most often feel like the outsider until I get to know someone in the group. My first 4 months at my job were agony. I didn’t know anyone and felt inadequate to the work- how’s that for a double whammy? Yesterday I celebrated three years in that job and my coworkers showed me such caring and esteem that it brought tears to my eyes and I was so grateful that I was able to stick with it through that painful and difficult beginning.
My angels are going to the workshop with me today. My roommate said last night, “Did you make lunch reservations for 4 so if you meet someone you can have lunch with them?” What a great idea! It never entered my mind!
Then, I read the blog post.
I am going to remember this.
Please let me know how it goes. I celebrate your willingness to SHOW UP, bravely & full of hope. We cannot ask more than that from ourselves.
WOW… just wow. This moved me to tears. Thank you SO much for writing it. I have been the mom who prayed (over and over) for “just one friend” for my girls. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for writing this.
This is so beautiful. Thank you!
You are so right that all it takes is one person to make a huge difference. My 17-year old daughter has suffered from extreme loneliness her entire high school experience, until this year (senior year) she made a good friend, and it has changed everything.
I am so happy to hear this! Big hugs!!!
Thanks for this — (also that’s a great old photo of Webb Street and the Salvage parking lot in Roswell GA!)
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4.32 NASB
This spoke to me. I often feel like an outsider in my own neighborhood and at the kids’ school because we’re transplants here instead of being from our town. Many times I’ve thought of just running away to a new city, but figure the grass isn’t always greener. Instead I go about my day, and I’m nice to those I interact with in hopes that one day I will find my “just one”
This fits with something that is important to me, and that is making introductions. I always try to make sure to introduce people to each other at any kind of group event when I am chatting with someone and other people walk up. I also feel we don’t properly teach our children how to introduce themselves to others, so I worked on that with my daughter. (Kids can play all day at the park with another child and never find out each other’s names!)