If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a kind word of encouragement, or attempts to understand, extraordinary things begin to happen. — Loretta Gizartis
Six months ago, my older daughter spoke to our church congregation about her experience sponsoring “Priscilla” through Compassion International. It was her intention to inspire others to do the same.
And that she did.
A curly-haired girl sitting in the second row pew, who had been asking her parents for a year if she could become a sponsor, was now suddenly determined.
It was my youngest child.
As soon as the service was over, my 5 year old daughter raced to the back of the church where photographs of available children lined the table. By the time I reached the display, my daughter held the image of a petite boy named Marco with tousled hair and a reluctant smile.
I knew what was coming.
“I want to sponsor this one, Mama. He is the same age as me.”
I found myself struggling to say the phrase I said last time and the time before that when she asked to “adopt” a child.
“Honey, your sister didn’t sponsor a child until she was seven. It is a big responsibility. You have to remember to write to your child often. You are still too young, sweetie.”
Five hundred miles away, a silver haired woman, whose hard-earned wrinkles beautify an oval-shaped face, learned about Compassion International through my older daughter’s heart-stirring speech. She, too, was inspired to sponsor a child.
It was my mom.
Over the phone, we discussed her desire to educate a child through Compassion International, yet she struggled with the issue of her age. Since the sponsorship was expected to last until the child’s 18th birthday, my mother was hesitant. Realistically she thought she and my dad would be able to participate for only five years. With regret, my mother came to the conclusion that she was “too old” and should perhaps find a different cause to support.
A few months passed, yet my youngest daughter’s determination to be a sponsor did not subside. She and her sister would often visit the Compassion International website and read the heart-wrenching stories of available children.
I later found out that my mother had been doing something similar; she was not quite ready to give up on the fact there was a child out there who needed her financial and emotional support—even if it was only for five years.
So when my parents visited our home in May, it was only natural that the 72 year old and the 5 year old would devise a plan. They would sponsor a child together. As a team, they could compensate for the drawbacks of being “too young” and “too old” to begin such a lengthy and serious commitment.
Since my parents served in the Peace Corp, teaching English in Tanzania, Africa, my mother wished to sponsor a child from that region. Together, my daughter and mother perused the website hoping to find an older female—around the age of 10 years—to sponsor in Tanzania.
Unfortunately, on the day of their online search, there were no older girls available in that area. My daughter settled on a young boy with an expression that told of hardship, devastation, and hunger. His name was Leni. However, when my mother returned home to complete the registration, Leni had already been sponsored.
To be honest, I was secretly relieved. Selfishly I thought the correspondences from my daughter to her sponsored child would essentially fall on my shoulders. In light of Leni’s unavailability, I figured I could put off my child’s quest until next summer. By then, she would be almost seven and could carry out the communication expectations independently.
As expected, my daughter was devastated to learn about Leni—but only for a moment. You see, giving up was not an option for my child. She immediately brightened and suggested we look at the website again because “new children are added all the time,” she argued.
Whoa. It was becoming clear that nothing would avert this child’s from the intense calling on her heart.
We sat down at the computer and selected “Tanzania” and “female” to narrow our search.
Instantly, the faces of approximately 20 girls popped up.
Giving the page a quick scan, I noticed one child immediately stood out.
As if she could read my mind, my daughter’s small finger reached up and touched the screen precisely where my eyes were drawn.
She pointed directly to the girl with the radiant smile, much like her own, wearing an unusually crisp white dress. Despite the dismal circumstances of her life, she had a regal air about her, as if she was born to do something amazing in life—if given a fighting chance.
“That’s her,” my daughter said with conviction.
When I read the nine-letter name listed beneath her picture, I knew this child was destined to be sponsored by a 5 year old girl and a 72 year old woman.
“Her name is Lightness,” I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion.
Oh yes, among a page of Rosemarys, Mariams, Sesilias, and Leahs, there she was … 12 year old Lightness.
And my how she shined.
But the beauty of the moment was not over.
“Let’s write to Lightness right now,” my daughter declared.
Not waiting for a response, she went to retrieve paper and crayons. I finally accepted the fact that I would have to assist my child with the mailings to Lightness for the next year. I was convinced a 5 year old would not know what to say to a child living in poverty in Africa.
But again, I was wrong.
As if waiting her whole life to speak to Lightness, my child articulated the most beautiful message as I typed her words.
Dear Lightness,
I am five years old. My grandma is 72. We are going to sponsor you together. You will get letters from me and my MeMe.
I play the ukulele. It is like a small guitar. I love to sing and play my ukulele. Do you like music? I love Taylor Swift. She has a beautiful voice.
I also like to play outside. I love to swing high and go down the slides at the park. What do you like to do?
I like to eat sushi. It is fish on the inside with rice on the outside. What do you like to eat?
I have curly hair. Sometimes I want it to be straight, other times I like it to be curly. I have freckles on my nose like my mom. The sun here gives me a sunburn, so I wear sunscreen.
We pray for you every day. When I pray, I say, “Please let Lightness be healthy. Let her be happy.”
These are pictures my daughter drew to accompany the letter.
Within days, my mother also wrote to Lightness. She explained that she and my dad lived in Tabora, Tanzania for two years in 1963 while teaching school to children in the village. She also explained to Lightness that she would have two sponsors. My mom thought Lightness might find this confusing to receive correspondences from two different people, but my daughter thought she would find it “special.”
As I thought about Lightness holding a photo of her two sponsors and reading their letters, I couldn’t help but agree with my insightful child—this experience would undoubtedly be “special” for Lightness.
One sponsor, a 72 year old woman with lovely white hair and deep laugh lines … a woman who had walked on her soil, who has seen her plight with her own two eyes … a woman who would choose her words carefully in order to extend support and encouragement like she did when she raised her two daughters.
And the other sponsor, a small child with a soft, round face and smiling eyes … a child who could only imagine this foreign place called “Africa” and would have no limit on her wishes and hopes for her far-away friend.
I imagined Lightness clutching that photo as she fell asleep, somehow feeling as if she were in the center of that embrace. As her eyelids grew heavy, she would feel great hope. After all, she was chosen from over 500 available children by people she did not know—two people who loved her so much that they wished to pay for her education and give her a chance at a happy life.
And back here in America, there’s a little girl who at least once a week calls out, “Remember Lightness!”
Sometimes she says it while riding in the car. Other times she says it when she bows her head at mealtime or when she spies an unusually puffy, white cloud.
At first, I couldn’t figure out if she was talking to me or perhaps reminding herself to write a letter—but now I know.
This loving child is simply putting this beautiful message out into the world so it might catch upon a breeze and fall directly on someone’s heart.
“Remember Lightness!”
She might be sitting in your child’s classroom with a growling stomach.
He might be sitting on the corner of Delaware and 16th with despair in his eyes.
She might be waiting in line behind you at Wal-Mart wondering if $10 will cover the diapers and milk.
He might be recovering in a hospital bed, unable to forget the sound of gunfire and mass mayhem in a crowded movie theater.
She might be one of the faces on this page.
Lightness is waiting for your hand.
And whether it is wrinkled, or smooth, or somewhere in between, it does not matter.
Love and compassion have no age restriction.
You’re never too young or too old to bring Lightness out of darkness.
****************************************************
Author Amanda Morgan of “Not Just Cute” recently posted one of Fred Rogers’ most profound parenting statements in response to the tragic events in Aurora, Colorado last week.
Not only is Nancy Roger’s approach to disaster a valuable way of finding hope in darkness, but it reminds me of how I want to live and how I want my children to live.
Isn’t it the helpers of the world who bring lightness out of darkness?
I think so.
In honor of the victims, their loved ones, and all touched by the Colorado tragedy, may we set aside our daily distractions today and go “Hands Free.” Act as “helpers” right where you in any way that you can.
I cannot think of a better way to grasp what really matters.
wow beautiful post. really inspiring. Just shows the pattern of generosity of your family from grandma to grandchild.
What a beautiful story. My son is only 4.5 and we just got our World Vision sponsored child’s update. You’ve inspired me to get my son more involved with writing letters and praying for our child.
Thank you! I love that you shared this. I am certain his letters/pictures will touch your sponsored child’s heart.
Wow! I keep trying to figure if we can afford to sponsor a child knowing that we are not far from being one that is wondering if the cash will cover the groceries. I also wonder about organizations for doing something like this but a little closer to home perhaps. Right now we give to our local thrift store and food banks when we can. Hopefully someday.
Thank you for sharing, Rebecca. One of my favorite quote is: “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” – Aesop. How beautiful that you are doing what you can to help others.
How beautiful!
… and thank you for sharing your feelings of relief when you originally thought this wouldn’t work out. I would have initially felt the same way. Sharing your heart in this way helps me to feel NORMAL and inspires me to move forward. Selfishness is a battle and knowing that others (including you) are in the same fight encourages me so much.
Thank you.
I really appreciate your sentiments, Susan. It is tempting to paint a beautiful perfect picture, rather than the “real” story, but on this Hands Free journey, I have learned that “real” wins over “perfect” every single time. Thank you for being real with me.
Yes!!!! This is fantastic and THIS is how we can make the world better, as writers, and as mothers. Great work mama! And I adore, I mean adore the way y’all are fixing the problem of too young and too old with “just right for Lightness!!”
Love!!
Thank you, my inspiring friend. Receiving positive words from one of my favorite writers and human beings is the most wonderful feeling.
As I began to read this post I was overwelmed by a sense of urgency, a real stirring inside of my soul that something of greater significance was transpiring through this post somehow. I know God loves to restore and redeem and ultimately glorify Himself through bringing “lightness” out of the darkness. And I also know that He loves what you are doing here with these Spirit-awakening posts. I must also say that He loves to use the seemingly insignificant and marginalized to surmount the greatest of obstacles and to realize the highest endeavors. I believe your 5 year old child will see incredible things, that she will, courageous and determined, be a potent and blazing oasis for many who never imagined they would experience anything but misery and hopelessness.
Whether prophecy is used by God today or not, I believe He used it here as I write this. Your daughter’s life will see many wide, healing, and God-honoring ripples afforded a hurting and broken world when she decides to finally splash.
And one more thing:
I believe Lightness in Tanzania has something in store for her from the mainline of God’s heart that will Blow her away, and you as well. And you and your daughter and your mother and me and the Spirit of God all can attest to that.
This message wasn’t necessarily for the forum, but for you and your 5 year old lamp, and maybe for Lightness too.
Thank you for being Light yourself Hands Free Lady.
And, from one husband to another, please thank yours for me. It is very clear that he knows what it is to steward and love and protect his family, and that he also knows from whom that grace comes from…
This is truly beautiful, Brion. You so eloquently wrote about many feelings I have felt through this experience with Lightness. Thank you for blessing my family and I today by sharing what God placed on your heart.
Wow. This post made me cry with happiness. I used to want to sponsor a child but we were (and still are) too close to the financial issues ourselves. But I know that when my daughter wants to sponsor a child she can do so with her allowance.
That sounds like a wonderful aspiration, Dawn. Thank you for your loving and generous heart.
Wow, again your post is very appropriate for me. I am doing 12 acts of kindness this month for my project “Before 40” (I’ve done 1 new thing each month for a year before turning 40). I’ve been considering sponsoring a child, but I just can’t seem to do it again. I sponsored a little boy through Children International years ago, and after getting several sweet, appreciative letters from his family, (he was too young to write himself), and several pictures, I was told his area was being cut from the program and I could no longer sponsor him. I was very upset, and spoke to as many people in the company as I could. They finally let me make one big final donation to his family and sent me pictures of everything my money bought them, but I still felt so bad about the whole thing. I still think about him sometimes, and hope he is doing well.
I think that your sweet, kind daughters are destined for greatness, and the fact that your daughter and her grandma are doing this together makes it extra special for everyone involved.
What a beautiful quest, Jen … 12 acts of kindness before turning 40. I look forward to checking that out on your blog.
I am sorry the sponsorship with the little boy ended so abruptly. It sounds like he held a special place in your heart — and still does. I am inclined to believe that you were a part of his life at that time for a reason. Who knows what you enabled his family to do that may have forever impacted his life? I believe with all my heart that you were an answered prayer at a time in his life when he most needed you.
Thank you for the beautiful words about my daughters. That means so much.
Hi, this really touched me today, Thanks for sharing
Thank you for letting me know, Elesha.
Beautiful, Rachel. I love the way you are raising your daughters to be just like you: compassionate, thoughtful, and intelligent. Your daughter’s and mother’s determination to help is inspiring! A wonderful message.
Thank you, my friend. Your comments touch my heart and ALWAYS bring a smile to my face. XO
I am so glad you posted this. I have sponsored a child with Compassion International for a couple of years now. I originally picked up her card from a table at a youth event with the intentions of a group of teenage girls sponsoring her. The other leader didn’t have a credit card with her at the time and we thought it would be easier if I did it. The girls were to pitch in each month and sponsor the child. Well, that never panned out and for the past couple of years I have been sending the money for her sponsorship but no letters. It is always in the back of my mind and I know it is important but I just never seem to get around to it. We even had a student who was sponsored as a child come and talk to us and he told us that the letters of encouragement were actually what meant the most. After reading your post I got straight up and wrote that sweet child a letter and enclosed a picture of my family. It felt so good! So thank you for giving me the little nudge I needed to listent to the conviction I was already feeling to send a letter. Compassion International is indeed a wonderful oraganization that I am proud to be supporting 🙂 I look forward to growing my relationship with our little girl in the Philippines!
Oh Rhonda, just this comment alone makes every hour I spent thinking about, writing, and revising this post worthwhile. I am SO happy to know that my message inspired you to write a letter to your “Lightness” and provide a picture that is a tangible sign of love and hope in his hands. Thank you!
Once again, you have written an inspiring, amazing post! Thank you for all the ways you encourage others (and me) with your honesty and gentleness. I so love reading your blog! What a lovely story about the compassion permeating the generations in your family! I am feeling convicted to write a letter to my own sponsored child through World Vision. I am ashamed at how little I wrote the one I started out with, who just turned 21. Last month, I chose a new child, with the same birthdate as my 3 year old son. We want to involve him in the communication, thinking it will be great for them to grow up together, so to speak, and learn about each other’s cultures. But, I still haven’t written to this new little boy. After reading your blog, I’m making it my goal to do it by the end of this weekend. You are such a gifted writer and do a wonderful job encouraging others to choose what’s truly important, but without ever sounding critical. Thank you!
Thank you, Molly. I am so glad this post inspired you to write a letter to your sponsored child. That is the best news that I could hear.
And I also want to tell you how much your words mean to me. It is my greatest hope that my messages don’t sound judgmental or critical. God knows, I am far from perfect. I just love to share what is on my heart and can only hope it is taken in the manner in which it is intended. Thank you for letting me know how you feel.
This is such a beautiful and encouraging post! As a fellow sponsor and Advocate with Compassion, it brings me so much joy to read about your experience and to think about Lightness and her very special sponsors. Not only has Lightness been blessed to have your mother and daughter showering her with love and letters, but I imagine they are feeling pretty blessed, as well. It’s amazing how quickly these children become a part of our families! Thank you again for sharing – I’m going to pass this post on via Facebook. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! I loved reading it! <3