Before I shut things down for a holiday break, I really wanted to be farther along in a massive work project that’s taken over our ping pong table.
I had an air-tight completion plan in place and then social media imposters happened and medication issues happened and ‘I’d rather reorganize the closet’ happened.
So, now I have a problem. The deal in my mind was:
When you get XYZ done, then you can [insert enjoyable activities here].
This approach of FIRST productivity, THEN activities has had its benefits throughout my life. I mean, I can get things done like nobody’s business… BUT there’s a cost to this approach—and the cost of delaying life until the “tasks” are complete can be downright tragic. I could tell you the damaging consequences of prioritizing TASKS over PEOPLE, but I bet you probably already know.
When we put off human connection for
just a minute
maybe tomorrow
when I get this done…
the experience often never happens… the memories aren’t made… the joy never shows up.
I know this. And I know with every fiber in my body that I do not want to miss meaningful life experiences thinking I must be in a certain place before I get to experience joy, ease, nourishment. So, while staring at that sad ping pong table, I chose to help myself by sharing my feelings with a trusted friend.
“I’m not where I wanted to be for holiday break… I’m a bazillion chapters behind… I’m going to have a monumental obstacle to climb in January…”
And you know what my friend had the audacity to say?
In the calmest, most sensible manner, she said, “Time will pass either way. The project will get done either way. Honor yourself by living your message in real time.”
And knowing the healing journey I’m on to separate my self-worth from accomplishments, my friend went straight to the most tender place in my heart, ensuring I HEARD what I needed to HEAR. She put real, actual names of real, actual beloved humans into a powerful directive to me:
“Enjoy Natalie and Avery. Enjoy Scott. Enjoy your PJs and your couch. Enjoy Banjo and Paisley. Enjoy opening holiday cards. Enjoy looking at lights. Enjoy your mom and dad. Enjoy Becca and Chris and Stacie and Kate and the boys. Enjoy the trees and the birdsong. Enjoy fresh fruit and chocolate and birthday cake. Enjoy a short walk or a long walk and a good time on a swing. Enjoy picking a charity to give to. Enjoy talking with Kerry and Carrie and your other friends too. Enjoy your life.”
Dear ones, I share this just case you’re not where you were hoping to be (literally or figuratively) and think you can’t have fun or rest or play or eat or [insert enjoyable activity here] until you get there.
You may have lived by that rule your whole life, and you may have received love, approval, and shiny gold stars for it, but let’s talk truth. Life doesn’t have to be lived as it was before. And now that you know you’re worthy, whether you “do the things” or not, you can live accordingly.
If you need extra reinforcement, take that unfinished list or that bar you haven't reached and hold it next to the fragility of life. The truth suddenly becomes pretty clear, doesn’t it? Today is all we really have for sure.
And those people, whose names are written on your heart, they like to see you
Smacking that ping pong ball
Eating that chocolate fudge
Cuddling the pets
Reading the books
Making the tiny snowmen
Forgoing the ribbon and wrapping paper and stuffing it in a gift bag and calling it a day.
Because those beloved people know the tasks of our productivity-obsessed world never actually get finished…. but the chance to love and be loved is here RIGHT NOW. Let’s seize it while we can.
Dear ones, thank you for supporting my work and my heart throughout 2021. Because you showed up for my books, online courses, and retreats, an original audio series and book inspired by my transformative Soul Shift workshop will be published by Sounds True. Upon publication, my program will be featured among prominent teachers and visionaries in the fields of psychology, health, and healing. The audio program releases in June 2022 and my fifth book (which is in process on the ping pong table) publishes in 2023.
Please save the date for my 2022 weekend retreats taking place at Omega Institute in NY (Sept 9-11) and at Art of Living Retreat Center in NC (Nov 4-6). More information coming soon.
Until then, please have a safe, restorative, and joy-filled holiday. I appreciate you so much.
My hand in yours.
