Tomorrow begins the final 21 days of the year.
A small window of time… and yet, I’ve recently witnessed how little it takes for something meaningful to shift inside a human heart. Last month, at my first Only Love Today retreat, 28 women showed me what becomes possible when we gently turn toward ourselves.
I’ve been wanting to tell you about it as we enter these last days of 2025.
I hope you will take these words to heart…
Just as the retreat was about to begin on Friday night, a participant approached me.
She told me that when she saw I was hosting my first Only Love Today retreat, she knew she had to come and tell me her story in person.
A few years ago, a student with complex behavioral needs was transferred into her middle school classroom. Each morning, he’d walk in, put his head on the desk, and fall asleep. And every day, the teacher would lean close and whisper:
“Only love today.”
Every day for six months, she whispered those words.
And then one day, the student saw her at the copy machine. He walked up, wrapped his arms around her, and said,
“Only love today, Mrs. H.”
“He heard me,” she said as tears filled both our eyes. “Those words got through. And I needed you to know.”
As I walked to the front of the room, my nerves fell away. The pressure released. More than the tools I’d prepared, more than the teachings or exercises I’d designed, it would be the messages and the space—loving, safe, human—that would carry these women toward growth and healing.
I knew I could provide that.
Fast-forward to the final hour of the retreat. A participant who’d confided earlier that she wouldn’t be raising her hand because she feared she’d cry, ended up wanting to share.
When she spoke, it was through tears, but with new strength. She said practicing Only Love Today over the years had allowed her to give her kids the kind of nurturing love that helped them thrive. But this weekend was the first time she had finally directed the practice toward herself.
At last, something clicked. Only Love Today was now self-compassion she could receive.
As my eyes filled, I thought: This is everything I hoped would happen here.
I remembered the teacher’s words.
He heard me.
But this time, it was:
She heard me.
The participant heard me when I said:
- This weekend is not about fixing yourself; it’s about remembering yourself.
- You don’t have to stop giving. You simply begin by remembering you are part of the circle of care.
- You are not invisible. Your needs matter too.
“You are not here just to do stuff, just to perform duties and complete tasks. You are here also to feel happy, and content, and inspired and well within yourself. You are here to have some fun, create meaningful moments and find the sparkle in your eyes again. You are here to unravel the magic of being alive, the magic of being you. To heal, to feel whole again. You are worth the effort.” -S.C. Lourie
Over a handful of days spent practicing listening to ourselves and exploring what it feels like to finally receive, something clicked.
Witnessing this profound shift has me thinking about the final stretch of 2025. Research tells us that a new habit can take root in 21 days. What if we choose to use these last days of 2025 to gift ourselves with love, only love?
Perhaps, like Mrs. H’s student, you feel like putting your head down and sleeping your way to the end of the year. I can’t blame you; 2025 has been tough for so many. Or perhaps you’re determined to push through, checking off the boxes and rushing toward the finish line.
But let’s remember: what you are sleeping through or rushing through… that is your very life. And your story is still being written.
Why not make it a story of love?
A story of compassion, of receiving goodness?
A story of the favorite comforts you’ve set aside for too long—
warm baths, early nights, long walks, quiet breaths that belong only to you.
May the remaining days of December become the most nourishing part of a long, trying year.
May you not wish this month away, but let it live… in you.
Perhaps it starts with a tiny gesture, a hand on your own shoulder, a quiet whisper of only love today, a moment of choosing yourself.
Years ago, I learned the power of a small moment like that during a hard December when I was just holding on by a thread.
2010 was one of those let’s-just-get-this-over-with years.
My goal for December 25, 2010, revolved around boxes—checking boxes, wrapping boxes, and stuffing emotions into boxes that I knew would spill out sideways. I could already see myself collapsing on December 26 with nothing meaningful to hold onto because I’d been too busy, too distracted, too hopeless, and too overwhelmed.
A couple of days before Christmas, one small moment changed everything.
My four-year-old daughter Avery asked if she could help fold laundry. With a heavy sigh, I irritably agreed.
Avery went straight for her dad’s boxer shorts. She slid her little legs into the openings, gathered the waistband with one hand, and launched into the most hysterical song-and-dance routine around the living room.
I began to laugh… and laugh… and laugh. I couldn’t stop.
Suddenly Avery stopped. She leaned toward me and said,
“I love that sound.”
I looked around, confused. What sound?
And then it hit me: my child loved the sound of her mother’s laugh… a sound she hardly heard anymore.
In that moment of acute awareness, everything trivial fell away. I saw the big picture:
What will my loved ones remember about today?
I wanted it to be my love, my presence, and my laugh.
And here I am, fifteen years later, recognizing the truth:
Avery heard me.
She heard my joy, my exhaustion, my overwhelm—even when I could not hear myself.
And in hearing me, she helped me hear what mattered.
Just as the student heard Mrs. H…
Just as the woman at the retreat heard me…
I, too, once heard what love was trying to tell me through the smallest voice in the room.
Avery heard the joyful, unguarded part of me breaking through.
And in hearing me,
she helped me receive myself with love.
And that, my friends, is the quiet beginning of receiving Only Love Today—
not as a practice we only give away,
but as a form of self-compassion we finally allow ourselves to take in.
What if we end this year by practicing that very thing?
We cannot control much in this world, but we can control the messages we give ourselves.
And when we give love to ourselves—
when we receive it—
it ripples outward.
I hear you.
Thank you for showing up.
Only Love Today.
May the remaining 21 days of December
become the best part of a long, trying year.
May we not wish this month away.
May we let it live and breathe…
in us.
My hand in yours,
Rachel
A possibility for the year ahead…
If you hoped to attend the first Only Love Today retreat but timing or distance made it impossible, I have good news to share. I get to offer it once more, this time at Kripalu, surrounded by the soft unfolding of spring in the Berkshires, April 24–26, 2026.
Perhaps the coming season could be your turning point—the kind of deep restoration, self-trust, and connection so many participants experienced this fall and what one attendee described as “a miracle in these times.” I would be honored to hold that space with you. Click here for all the details.
🌳 If you’d like support sooner, this what I’ll be writing about — and teaching live — inside Rachel’s Treehouse, my Substack community, as we close out 2025 and begin 2026. For $5/month, you receive the Dear Rachel guidance column and access to my restorative monthly Zoom gatherings (a special one is happening on Monday afternoon, December 29th), while all other essays remain free and come straight into your email inbox.
Here are the most popular essays from this fall:
* The Softest Parts of Ourselves Don’t Need to Be Erased
* Be Inconvenienced to Find Belonging in This New Season of Life
* How One Simple Affirmation Empowers Me to Name What I Need
* Speaking of Rejection: Spread the Word
* Dear Rachel: I’m Grieving the Future I Dreamed for My Child. How Can I Find Hope Again?
* Dear Rachel: My kids want to revisit my parenting mistakes. Help?
*Never will I forget the women who showed up for themselves, for each other, and for me at the 2025 Only Love Today Retreat in North Carolina. Let’s make more memories this spring in Massachusetts.
