“Come on in,” the gray-haired gentleman waved from the middle seat of aisle 10 on my flight headed home. I looked to the elderly woman seated next to him, hoping to get some clarity on the situation.
“He has bad legs and can’t stand so good,” she quickly explained. “Would you be so kind to just slide by?”
I took a deep breath and awkwardly squeezed past to get to my window seat.
“You just saved me a whole lotta trouble,” the man said, smiling warmly. “How’s your day going?”
I knew right then and there my hopes of sticking my iPods in my ears and chilling out would have to wait. I’d just led a multi-day workshop and desperately needed to restore my internal battery.
Within a few minutes of conversation, we discovered the couple lived in the city where my family and I used to live. Amazingly, the man had even had a hand in building the homes in the neighborhood where my daughters spent their childhood. Now he was a grandpa of ten, a retired builder, with a hobby of painting on canvas with acrylics.
I learned this as the plane filled with passengers.
Just as the man’s wife was about to show me his latest works of art captured on her phone, our chat was interrupted.
“You’re in my seat,” a man in a business suit curtly informed the woman. “I am in 10D.”
She explained they’d been moved to this row at the last minute because of her husband’s leg condition. As she tried to pull up proof on her phone, the man grew increasingly agitated.
And then something happened that I did not expect.
“If we have to move,” said the white-haired gentleman beside me, “will you move with us?”
I froze.
One part of me stiffened and screamed, BOUNDARIES, Rachel! Surely you’re not going to do that??
Another part of me softened and whispered, CONNECTION, Rachel. Thank you for listening to this man. Clearly, you’ve made a difference.
What eventually came out of my mouth was a direct result of the Soul Shift practices that have guided my inner work, along with somatic therapy. Over time, I’ve learned to preserve the empath in me while setting healthy boundaries so I can live whole, protected, and fulfilled.
“This is my seat,” I said to him gently. “So I’ll need to stay here, but maybe it’ll work out that we can stay together.”
“I sure hope so,” the man said wistfully. “You just don’t meet people like you every day.”
It turned out the couple got to remain in their current seats. I did get my rest because the friendly gentleman fell asleep as soon as he was covered in a blanket and slept the entire flight.
As we began our descent, his wife gently roused him.
“Wake up, honey,” she whispered. “It’s time for your medication.”
Once he was alert, I asked if they were going to make the late-night drive home, which I knew was about three hours from the airport.
“We are going to stay at a hotel tonight,” the man explained. “But we gotta leave first thing. It’s time for me to start cancer treatments. My doctor found three spots on my liver last month, but he let us take our anniversary cruise to Alaska.”
I told him how sorry I was to hear this news.
“No matter what happens,” he said cheerfully, “I’m just glad I met you.”
“I’m glad I met you too,” I said, feeling tears come to the surface.
Something in this man’s tenderness cracked open a place in me I’d been working hard to heal.
See, the thing is, when you begin to notice past patterns through therapy and inner work—and you see all the times you didn’t protect yourself, there’s a deep ache.
You look back and label those moments—
the times you didn’t speak up for yourself,
the times you let people take advantage of you,
the times you ignored your body’s warning signs—
as moments you abandoned yourself.
When you release fawning behaviors, you suddenly remember all the times you said yes when you wanted to say no, sometimes at the cost of your own well-being. And it’s easy to feel shame. But those were survival strategies, earnest attempts to feel safe and accepted, until you discovered that worthiness was never something you had to earn.
But in this exchange with the elderly man beside me, some of that old shame lifted. I saw my willingness to be open, trusting, and overly kind to people not as gullible or naïve, but as a soft strength worth safeguarding.
And given we are living in a time when helping our neighbors has never mattered more, the timing of that release felt perfect.
Instantly, I felt grateful for my seat in 10F…
where I was reminded that boundaries and compassion can sit side by side,
where my limits could be honored without my losing heart,
where I could rest and still care deeply,
where I could give yet also receive.
I realized then that I never want my boundaries to be so tall or so hard that they keep me from reaching – or being reached.
The world is aching for human connection right now. And I’m learning that I possess qualities that help people feel safe in my presence.
The stranger on the plane reminded me:
We were never meant to navigate life alone.
We were meant to keep reaching—
even when it scares us,
even when we’re weary,
even when it would be easier to close off.
So, I’ll keep practicing this balance:
protecting my peace while staying open to connection,
making room for grace in the middle seat,
and trusting that what’s meant to meet me will find a way through.
Because now I know,
my heart won’t lead me astray.
My hand in yours,
Rachel
📗 If this story resonated with you—the pull between protecting your peace and staying open to connection—this is the very work that shaped Soul Shift: The Weary Human’s Guide to Getting Unstuck and Reclaiming Your Path to Joy.
I’m grateful to share the book is being released to the world in paperback on Tuesday, something that only happens when a message has found its way into many hands and hearts.
So, if you’ve been waiting for a time to bring Soul Shift into your life—or to share it with someone you love—consider this a sign.
It’s not a book of answers, but a companion for moments just like this.
Moments when you’re learning to trust yourself,
honor your boundaries,
and tend to what is true for you.
So that even in an uncertain world, you can protect your peace without closing your heart.
From readers who have walked alongside this work…
“As I approach my 50th birthday and a new stage of life, I’ve been trying to regain a sense of who I want to be. This book came at the perfect time and helped me do that in an uplifting, supportive way. I even sent a copy to my daughter in college, who is on her own journey of becoming.” —Sarah
“This beautiful book is one I return to on the hard days when I feel like I’m not enough. Rachel’s words help me reconnect with my ‘Dreamer Girl’ and find my way back to joy. This is a book to be loved and shared.” —Amy
“Listening to Rachel’s words during moments of struggle feels like a true comfort. Living with a chronic illness, I need something that is both engaging and gentle, and this book is that rare gift. Rachel seems like she understands people who struggle and meets them exactly where they are, with no judgment and a compassionate, outstretched hand.” —CM
Soul Shift is available wherever you like to buy your books, including Bookshop, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble. I am so grateful for your support.
🐞 A final note…
It’s not too late to register for my Only Love Today Retreat for Givers happening on April 24-26 at the renowned Kripalu center in Western Massachusetts. I’ve created this restorative experience especially for those who spend much of their lives caring for others and are ready to receive care themselves — to rest, reconnect, and rebuild a kinder relationship with their inner world and their body.
Together, we practice slowing down, listening inward, and learning how to give ourselves the same compassion we so freely offer others. Through storytelling, guided reflection, gentle practices, and supportive community, you’ll begin creating sustainable rituals of nourishment, rest, movement, and boundary-honoring that can travel home with you.
There are currently 17 lovely souls registered—perhaps you are meant to join us. This will be my only in-person retreat in 2026. If you feel a nudge to be there, please let me know, so we can make it happen. Learn more by clicking here.
