Hands Free Mama

Letting Go...To Grasp What Really Matters

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Encouragement Takes First Place

If you have read my About Me page, you will know that encouragement is on my list of what really … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Take Time to Say It, The Hands Free Revolution Tagged With: condemnation, encouragement, faith, judging, Martin Luther King Day, ridiculing, running

To The One I Love

I talk most often about how this Hands Free journey is changing me. But today I am going to talk … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Sunset Moments, The Hands Free Revolution, What I Would Have Missed Tagged With: accountability, distraction, family memories, living in the moment, Memory Bank, partnership, personal connection, The Hands Free Revolution

I Thought You Would Never Ask

My four-year-old daughter has always loved puzzles. Whenever “PawPaw” (my dad) comes to visit us, it … [Read more...]

Filed Under: The Truth Hurts (and Heals), Your Words Tagged With: Be in the moment, cold hard truth, iTunes, puzzles, type A, what children want, your words

Outside the Circle Awaits the Heart

*Permission has been granted to use her authentic name I was not surprised when a dear friend of … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Accent on the Positive Tagged With: acts of kindness, angel, cancer, chemotherapy, life changing, mastectomy

Perfect Imperfection

If you are like me and often feel the need to “control” all the variables, this story is for … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Perfect Imperfection, What I Would Have Missed Tagged With: control, hands free logo, imperfection, perfection, personal growth, self love, type A

Putting Distraction In Its Place

I have thought a lot about my first blog entry of 2011. I hoped it would be powerful. I hoped it … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Putting Distraction In Its Place Tagged With: Putting Distraction In Its Place

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A Course by Rachel

Soul Shift

Welcome!

Rachel

I want to make memories, not to-do lists. I want to feel the squeeze of loving arms, not the pressure of over-commitment. I want to get lost in conversation with my favorite people, not consumed in a sea of unimportant emails. I want to be overwhelmed by sunsets that give me hope, not by overloaded agendas that steal my joy. I want the noise of my life to be a mixture of laughter & gratitude, not the intrusive buzz of mobile phones & text messages. I’m letting go of distraction, perfection, & pressure to grasp what really matters. I’m living Hands Free. Will you join me? (Read More)

Meet Rachel

Speaking Events
“After attending one of Rachel’s speaking events, I am finding myself pausing more and re-setting my reactions to my spouse and children as a result of reflecting on the situations and lessons Rachel shared. Her decision to reveal the good, the bad, and the ugly, and what she’s learned as she’s worked to transform herself, has lasting impacts on her audience. Rachel’s lessons are like ripples in the ocean as they help others like me move towards choosing love and coming as we are. Rachel works wonders by helping others work wonders.” –A Hands Free Mama in progress

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Live Love Now
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A few weeks ago, I was interviewed by Tami Simon, A few weeks ago, I was interviewed by Tami Simon, founder of @soundstrue multimedia publishing company & host of a podcast that’s been downloaded over 15 million times.

Gulp.

As Tami’s deep, wise, scholarly voice filled my ears, old, damaging beliefs about my worthiness began surfacing.

“Not smart enough”

“Not articulate enough”

“Not prepared enough”

And that was before we ever hit ‘record’!

Before we began, Tami explained the show format.

“After we talk for 50 minutes, we’ll take a five-minute break and then take questions from listeners. So make sure and come back after the break,” she said.
 
“I’m glad you told me that,” I laughed. “Because I’d be in my pajamas in less than five minutes after the interview ends!”
 
And that’s when this renowned visionary looked directly at me through the screen and remarked on my heart, indicating she felt something kind and welcoming about it.
 
She admitted she’d gotten feedback from a listener that she takes herself too seriously… and that was the moment I knew I just needed to be ME in this interview… and being ME would be more than enough.
 
“Wouldn’t it be fun if we changed into our pajamas during the break?” Tami said curiously.
 
“Let’s do it!” I agreed, excitedly. “But just so you know, I sleep in a t-shirt with my cat’s face on it.”

I am happy to report that Tami and I did the listener Q&A in our pajamas — and that was a first for her, which now seems like the most important part about this interview.

It’s not about what I said; it’s about what I shared… my true, authentic self.

So, friends, the next time you feel “less than” in a situation, will you please think about me and this renowned visionary chatting to a sophisticated global audience wearing our pajamas?
 
Because here’s the thing…
 
when we write ourselves off as NOT BEING ENOUGH, we prevent conversations… relationships… and life experiences from becoming MORE real.
 
And I can safely say, REAL is where the JOY is.

My hand in yours,
Rachel 

🎧 To listen to the interview click link in bio 

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I shared the miraculous resolution of the broken h I shared the miraculous resolution of the broken heart necklace with my launch team on Monday night. I didn’t think I would share it anywhere else.

But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I trust that someone else needs to hear this resolution – one that is not a resolution at all – it’s a new chapter in our family narrative that looks a lot different than I expected when I began my parenting journey 19 years ago.

This story is for anyone coming to the realization that they have two choices: Hold on to the way things were or accept what is and what can STILL be.

I’ve chosen the latter.

I strive to see a hopeful future, without denying reality.

I strive to mourn the loss without living in it.

I strive to move forward without leaving the most important things behind.

This is my latest post. You can read it on my website or by clicking the link in my bio. The algorithms have been tough lately so if you are reading this, can you leave me a word or an emoji?

My hand in yours,
Rachel 🤝 #newblogpost #linkinbio #healing #acceptance #change
“Well, I haven’t even had your book for a day “Well, I haven’t even had your book for a day and feel the pull to share it with a friend who needs you. Passing my copy along to her tonight and will be re-ordering another one for myself. Thank you again for the healing words you gift us all.” -Heather

That message was in my inbox this morning, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

As I wrote Soul Shift, my greatest hope was that the reader would feel a sense of, “I am not alone.”

I never considered how the very book itself could be used as a point of connection between two people.

I wonder if receiving Soul Shift through a personal interaction elevates the “unaloneness” of the words inside.

I certainly know how I feel when someone gifts me a book and says, “I thought you might like this…” or “This might help you navigate what you’re going through.” Every word I then read goes through a lens of, 'This was chosen for me… I am seen… I am loved.'

To imagine the words in my book being elevated this way gives me such peace today. In the publishing industry, launch week is all about the numbers; it’s so easy to doubt yourself and feel inadequate.

But this idea that books can be connection points with unending ripples of hope…

THAT is what matters… and THAT is what I shall focus on today.

Thank you, Heather. I hope your friend feels mightily loved through our team effort.

My hand in yours,
Rachel

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Amazon review: 

“This book is everything you would dream of in a dear friend. One who soothes and supports you in tough times. One who shows up to celebrate the essence of who you are. The one that will ask you the hard questions lovingly. The kinds of questions that make you take your time to answer. The questions that dig deep to the core of you.”
Little Rach had no problem with horizontal stripes Little Rach had no problem with horizontal stripes.

She held impressive theatrical performances in her very own backyard (no audience needed).

One summer, she wrote fourteen short stories and wished she had a Trapper Keeper to organize them in.

When she felt sad, she cried.

When she felt scared, she called out.

Little Rach routinely took off her shoes to feel the grass beneath her feet.

She loved to play pretend.

She didn’t like playing Barbies alone in the basement, but if she turned on the radio, it felt safer.

Little Rach was fun... and also tender-hearted... she had good instincts about things.

I loved little Rach, but as an adult, I didn’t think about her—about who she was and how much I missed her.

It was in one of the saddest, most shameful moments as a parent that I remembered her.

After an outburst that scared even myself, I ran out to the car in my pajamas, not even grabbing a pair of shoes; I just needed to get away.

Pressing my bare foot against the gas pedal triggered a memory from childhood. The adult in me was gripping the steering wheel, poised for escape, while the child in me was swaying on the tire swing in Iowa.

I allowed the memories of that little Rachel in and reflected on all of the things that made her me.

In that moment, I realized maybe I didn’t need an escape as much as I needed an exploration – one that helped me recover what I thought I’d lost.

Never have I felt so close to Little Rach, my Dreamer Girl, than I did writing the book, Soul Shift.

As the book is making its way into people’s hands this week, we are receiving an astounding response to what we created together—

Little Rach and grown-up Rachel
Her courage + my way with words
Her uninhibited joy + my hard-earned wisdom
Her spontaneity + my mistakes as stepping stones

We can’t wait for you to read the book and recover your own glorious things deep within.

What we knew about ourselves as kids is something worth remembering as adults. #soulshiftbook
A friend sent me a photo of #soulshift sitting on A friend sent me a photo of #soulshift sitting on her coffee table.

Being an avid user of sticky notes, I noticed she’d placed a hot pink one on the cover.

I zoomed in.

Written in my friend's distinctive penmanship were these lines from my book:

“If it hurts, tend to it.

If it brings peace, lean into it.
 
If it feels scary, ask for help.

If it feels overwhelming, breathe.
 
If it alternates between good and bad, take it one step at a time.”

My friend is on a long, arduous journey to heal. She cannot see the end, and that is incredibly frustrating, and at times, hopeless. But in so many ways, she is tending… leaning… asking… breathing. She is taking it one step at a time, even when she has to crawl.

Somedays, she tells me she doesn’t know if she can keep going. I don’t push her, and I certainly don’t pep-talk her. Instead, I offer to sit beside her as the world goes whizzing past.

There is strength in the stillness.

The fast-paced world doesn’t advertise that, but it’s true.

In fact, that’s where my five-line mantra came from; it came when I decided my powering-through-the-pain days were over.

Those were my new rules for the road – the one paved with self-compassion.

Little did I know how good they would look on a pink sticky note.

-Rachel Macy Stafford
From her new book, SOUL SHIFT 📔 (link in bio to purchase)
To feel unalone. That was my greatest hope for the To feel unalone. That was my greatest hope for the impact #soulshift would have on the person reading it.

Last night, @drkatiehurleylcsw, whose life work is helping kids and teens feel seen and supported, posted this:

“There were times when I felt like I just didn’t fit. It was like I was a little bit of everything, but not enough of any one thing to fit neatly into one group. I was sure I was alone in this. Years later, in an Instagram thread, some old high school friends and I got to sharing - and one by one, we started talking about our experience. We finally came together to say, hey, me too, and I wish I had known. And for that moment - for me, anyway - it felt healing.

Rachel Macy Stafford took that feeling - that vulnerability wrapped up in support and encouragement - and wrote it into a book that will heal your weary soul.

If you’ve been here a while you know that I don’t recommend books just because they come my way - I spend time with the pages to make sure I’m giving you something that will help you in some way. This is one of those books.” -Dr. Katie Hurley
This is us – after the LIVE book signing last ni This is us – after the LIVE book signing last night.

We celebrated lots of things in that toast, but in this moment, we were just glad the nerve-wracking, live-streaming, question-answering, technology-dependent event was over.

Two friends were beside me in front of the camera and one friend worked behind the scenes.

I took the first ten minutes of the event to share a phrase each of these women spoke to me when I was in a vulnerable place.

“Wait right where you are… I will come to you.” -Maggie

“Remember when you did that scary thing? If you did THAT, you can do this.” -Britt

“I will stay as long as you need me to.” -Cindy

I got choked up telling the stories behind the phrases… but it was okay….I knew I would, and I’d already decided that there – especially there – I could be myself.

One of the questions submitted was: “Of all the words you’ve ever written, what’s your favorite quote?”

That was easy.

“When we see each other’s scars, we love each other more.”

I didn’t always know this.

For a long time, I thought I needed to HIDE my insecurities and vulnerabilities to feel accepted—

But thankfully, I’ve discovered the opposite is true.

When we show up as our most authentic self, we give permission for other people to reveal their true selves. It is in those vulnerable moments of authentic connection that true belonging is felt.

When we see each other’s scars, we love each other more.

This is what I believe.

The life with the nicks, scratches, scars, and imperfections displayed in the window revealed to the world—that’s the life I want to walk into, the life I want to live, the life I want to embrace when I see it in others.

When I do, I will celebrate that momentous display of human courage by opening my arms and saying, “Me too.”

-Rachel Macy Stafford 

✍️Still some signed copies left! Click link in bio to get yours from @premierecollectibles 

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Instagram post 18181330354268818 Instagram post 18181330354268818
Back in September, my publisher told me I’d be d Back in September, my publisher told me I’d be doing a LIVE book signing on the night of my book release.

“Most people have a moderator,” they explained. “So be thinking about who you want to invite… it could be another author or someone with a large platform that could draw in more viewers.”

“Ok. I’ll think about it,” I said, knowing good and well there are only a handful of people I’d invite to my basement on book launch night to ask me questions about this particular book.

Friends.

It’s gotta be friends.

Hugely famous (in my heart) friends.

While writing the book, I encountered one of the most devastating experiences of my life. Reaching out for support from a few trusted souls is what got me through.

But I gotta tell you, even though I learned HOW to ask for help throughout these past few years, it’s still hard for me to do.

In fact, I noticed I kept putting off asking my friends to be moderators for this event. One, I hated to put anyone in this position, (I mean, I honestly don’t know anyone who jumps at the chance to go LIVE), and two, I know my friends have very full lives.

I actually considered doing the event all by myself. Technically, I COULD do it on my own…. but I decided to ask.

I remember how quickly one of my friends responded with an excited YES. I sure didn’t see that coming. When I saw her in person, I mentioned how much I appreciated her moderating.

“You know that is WAY out of my comfort zone,” she told me straight up. “But I’ll do anything for you.”

Those are some mighty powerful words.

And to think, I would have never heard them or given my friend a chance to demonstrate them, had I not extended my shaky hand.

My friends, just because we CAN take care of things ourselves doesn’t mean we should. We are not meant to navigate life alone— especially when it comes to going LIVE.

🤝 I truly hope you’ll join us on my FB page at 7p Eastern tonight as we connect, laugh, breathe, and anchor ourselves in the goodness that happens when we show up for one another.

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